Living in Equestria

"Thunk!"

Rainbow Dash gave the barrel a solid buck with her rear hooves, sending it rolling quickly away from us at a pace much faster than I'd accomplished. We moved to follow it, but Scootaloo stopped me.

"Gimme a ride!" she smiled up playfully at me.

"Eh?"

She made a "tsch" sound with her tongue and rolled her eyes. "Kneel down!" she said and then pulled at the hem of my shirt with her muzzle.

I obeyed, wondering what my little spunky friend was up to. She quickly hopped around behind me and I felt her front hooves wrap around my neck, her head resting on my shoulder in my black hair that had grown long in the time I'd been here. It was the universal language of 'Gimme a Piggy Back'.

"Carry me!" she said with a smile in her voice.

I stood up, hooking my arms under her two back legs that came around my waist. She had some weight to her, but it was much lighter than her frame and size should be. I found I could carry her comfortably for a quite while.

I walked with her on my back, following Dash down the orchard's row in the shade from the afternoon sun. The air smelled sweet and fragrant, loaded with the vibrant scent of growing things. It was a beautiful day made all the more special by the sound of Scootaloo breathing in my ear and occasionally reaching up to swat at a low hanging leaf or branch as we walked by.

I was struck by how different I felt with her near me. Even with the day's events, there was another level here between her and I that I didn't feel when I was with Apple Bloom. It was like Scoot and I fit somehow into places that I didn't with the others. It felt great and I found myself smiling for no other reason than I was alive and enjoying this moment with Scoot on my back immensely.

It wasn't ten seconds, and the walk was still a goodish one but Dash got the barrel to the barn door a lot faster than I could have ever hoped for. I let Scoot down with a pang of regret, wishing that walk could have lasted longer, and together the two of us wrestled it into the kitchen. I would have been stymied here also if Rainbow wasn't around to share her vast knowledge of kegs. She showed me how to use the clever devices built into the large U shaped cradle that held the keg sideways and then instructed me on how to hammer the spigot into the small wax circle on one end.

"Jeeze... you are a rookie, aren't you..." she commented when my first swing of the hammer only succeeded in a painful knot on the back of my hand. A few more careful tries and it finally socked home, seated tightly.

"Now for the fun!" Dash's eyes lit up, casting her eyes around for a mug.

"Isn't it going to be hot?" I asked.

"Ha! Stupid human..." she gave me a mocking look. "Don't you know anything? An apple cider keg would rather be caught dead than serve warm drinks!"

She grabbed up a mug, sliding her hoof into the handle and brought it over from the counter, setting it on the round flat surface just under the spigot. Giving a push with her hoof against the lever, a clear, golden liquid streamed down, filling the earthen brown mug quickly.

"See for yourself!" she offered.

The mug was indeed cold on the outside already. It smelled sweet and fragrant with a sharp fermented tint that wasn't all that unpleasant. Raising the cup to my lips, the cold liquid filled my mouth with a delicious intense apple flavor that I smelled more than I tasted. It burned slightly when I swallowed, tracing a pleasant path of fire that hit my belly with a comforting and warm sensation that was at the same time refreshing. I was hooked and quickly downed the whole thing.

"Preeety good, eh?" Dash gave a knowing smirk. "Twilight's wussy stuff is alright... but there's nothing like a fresh keg from Sweet Apple Acres!"

"Can I try some?" Scootaloo looked to Dash hopefully.

"I dunno... squirt. You sure you can handle it?" she asked. I could see Dash had already made up her mind but was wanting to mess with Scootaloo a little first. I almost reminded her of the day I found the pegasus piss drunk the morning after the Thundercloud Stampede.

"Of course I can!" Scoot shot back offended. "You think I haven't had cider before?"

"Weeelll this ain't no fancy dinner cider... this is a real pony's cider!" she continued, puffing her chest out dramatically.

"I am real pony! Scootaloo stamped her hoof against the floor to make her point.

I realized I was smiling watching the exchange. In fact, the whole scene seemed hilarious to me right then, aided by a warm glow emanating from my belly where the cider had landed.

"I dunno... Mason? You're gonna have to scoop her up off the floor if it gets out of hand. I'm not dealing with a sick filly!" she turned her head, dragging me into the argument.

"Mason will let me, wont ya? I promise ya won't have to scoop me off the floor..." she pleaded and gave me her best puppy dog eyes. God dammit she was cute. If she asked me to run into a wall at full speed with that look, I'd probably do it without even thinking.

"I don't think it would hurt to have a little... right, Dash?" I shrugged. The little orange pony's eyes lit up in victory with a grin

"I guess not..." Rainbow Dash considered and then gave Scootaloo a little shove. "Go get a mug, squirt... and bring me one too!"

I filled all three of the brown containers with the hoof sized handles and set them on the table. Scootaloo sat next to me with Rainbow Dash directly opposite. Dash held hers up and looked at the two of us.

"To my two proteges!" she toasted

We clunked mugs together, Scootaloo having to hold hers with both hooves, and then we drank. I watched out of the corner of my eye Scoots first sniff the brew, and then take a small sip. She tried to hide the grimace as it burned down her throat and then took a larger gulp.

"Man! That's the best!" Dash said, draining half of hers in one gulp and setting it back on the table.

"It tastes like apples and wet mane..." she crinkled her nose at it.

"Aww... what's a matter, squirt? Don't like it?"

Scootaloo's face changed to one of denial. "No! I like it!" and to prove a point she began to chug the remainder determinedly while Rainbow Dash laughed.

"Easy there... that stuff will creep up on ya, kiddo." she tipped her mug at Scootaloo who was looking at her with big eyes over her own mug trying to impress her idol and friend.

I knocked back a good portion of my own as Scoots slammed her empty mug down in triumph with both hooves.

"There..." she panted. "See... I can... BRRAAAAAPPPPP!" a long, loud belch interrupted her words, catching her off guard and her face went wide with surprise at the enormity of it. This sent both Dash and myself into a fit of laughter.

"Ha! hahah! Good one, squirt!" Dash put a hoof to her head, still laughing.

Scootaloo turned to me with the same expression. "It's warming my belly!" she commented in amazement.

"Yeah... it'll do that" I smiled at her and gave her a one armed hug while she stared into the empty mug of hers.

Dash and I finished up ours and I refilled them. I could already feel it's effects on me. Everything was a bit numb and my legs seemed to be longer than they were before. When I returned, Scootaloo grabbed hers right away to start again but I stopped her by leaning in and putting a hand on her back.

"Give it a little bit..." I cautioned with a whisper in her ear, doing my diligence to look out for her. I could see this knocking her on her ass quickly and with my last vestiges of sober caution I wanted to not only keep Scoot from getting sick, but to also avoid a complete cluster when Applejack got home.

She looked at me with big, trusting eyes that were already beginning to get a bit pink and watery. "Kay..." she said quietly and only took a small sip.

We drank and talked, all the while I kept having to shake the mental image of Rainbow Dash in the shed with Applejack. The cider was on me now, giving me a devious and playful attitude towards life in general. With my new found snark, I was thinking of a way to steer the conversation just close enough to let her know I knew... but not come right out and say it.

"Hey Dash... remember in Cloudsdale that pegasus who brought us to you..." I started.

"Oh yeah, Windshear. What about him?"

"I always wanted to ask you something about that..."

"Ask away, stupid human!" she raised her mug and took another swallow.

"Maybe I heard you wrong, but it sounded like you mentioned another "him" that he left you for..."

"Ha! Yeah... turns out ol Windshear liked his bread buttered on that side... who knew?! Wait... you're not one of those ponies who has a problem with that... are you?" her eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"What?! No! Whatever does it for ya is your business..." I shot back. And this was true. I'd gotten my rocks off to both sides of the fence during my internet browsing days.

"Good... 'cause there's nothing I hate more than a pony with nose in my bedroom" she gestured towards me with her mug again.

"Whaz bread got to do with your bedroom, Dash?" Scootaloo asked thickly. She'd only drank about a quarter of her second mug... and that was probably a good thing. I don't think she was drunk yet, but probably had a good buzz going.

"It's just a saying, squirt." she dismissed. "What I mean is, Windshear's idea of a special somepony is another stallion... not a mare."

"Oooohhhh" Scootaloo's eyes got big. "But then..." she looked at me on a head that seemed to wobble slightly. "How do they..." her eyes squinted while she worked out the mechanics and then a look of disgust came over her face. "Eeeewwww! Iz that what tha colts at school talk about when they mean putting it yer butt?"

"Ha!" Rainbow laughed at this. I had to as well... her innocence was adorable. "You got it, Scoots. Welcome to Dash's alternative mating class!" she raised her mug again in a toast. I followed and waited as Scootaloo fumbled with hers enough to get it to clunk together with ours.

"Mares, too... right Dash?" I prompted.

"Heck yeah! Only mares have way more fun than stallions, I think."

"... as long as you have the right equipment" I finished for her, jumping on the opening.

"Well, a tongue can only do so much..." She said offhandedly.

"What tho oo thoo ith ur thungs?" Scootaloo was sticking hers out as far as she could, trying to see it.

"Use em on each other down there... what else?" Dash answered her in a matter of fact tone. Scootaloo sucked her tongue back in with an urgent look to tell us something.

"Ohh! This one time I heard Silver Spoon telling somepony about licking Diamond Tiara and they laughed like it was a funny secret... do you think that's what she was talking about?" she asked Dash

"Ehh.. could be, squirt. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon are pretty close friends. It wouldn't surprise me." she shrugged.

"So it's OK for close mare friends to do that with each other?" her eyes eagerly fixed on Dash for her answer.

"Yeah! I mean... as long as both ponies are into it, sure!"

"Sounds like you know from experience..." I said coolly from behind my mug as Scootaloo looked down into her own, considering what she had heard.

One side of her face twitched. "Ahh.. ya know... it's common knowledge, that's all." she gestured dismissively with her hoof.

"So common you can probably buy toys that match your own coat, I bet." trying my best to dance around the bulls eye in victory without stepping on it.

"Errr... I suppose you could..." she quickly pounded back the rest of the cider in her mug. "Who's up for another??!" she changed the subject.

"Wait... whatcha mean toys, Mason?" Scootaloo asked. I hadn't counted on this becoming a learning experience for her, but went with it anyways.

"That's what two mares use when their with each other. They make things that look and work just like a stallion's parts." I shot another look at Rainbow Dash who met my gaze with a thin layer of cool calm. "Some can even be worn like them and be colored to match a pony's coat."

Her orange face considered this and then she giggled. "This cider makes me feel funny!"

Well.. Scootaloo was officially buzzed. I hoped Applejack wouldn't flip out over it. I don't know how or when she became the one to tip toe around, I guess it was just her stubborn nature.

Dash changed the subject then, leaving our impromptu alternative mating class behind and moving onto the Wonderbolts. I didn't know much about them, other than they were some acrobatic pegasus flying team. Both Dash and Scootaloo knew everything about each member and talked excitedly about rumors and events that didn't make much sense to me. I tried to follow along as best I could to keep up. It all blurred together after a while though and it reminded me of listening to two people talk about a sports team that you had no interest in.

I did eventually slide Scootaloo's forgotten mug away from her and began to drink it myself. As much fun as it would be to explore drunken pony sex later... it was still to early in the day for her to be getting shitfaced. A noise outside halted their debate about who had the fastest relay time and we all turned when the door opened.

"Scootaloo!" Apple Bloom's voice rang out in the kitchen. She was sporting a new, brilliant white cast that was clean and unmarked except for the leathery cup on the bottom to prevent it from getting dirty when she walked. Her mane was still loose with no bow, reminding me of how she looked in the bathroom with a pulse of cider tainted arousal.

"Apple Bloom" Scootaloo cried at her friend and clambered down from the bench, running to the door in a jerky trot that looked a little off.

"Hey ya'll! See ya got the keg goin!" came Applejack's greeting as she stepped to the side of the table near Dash and myself. "Eh.. how'd everything go gettin it outta the shed?" she asked. Her eyes went from mine to Rainbow's and back again, looking for something with an almost worried expression.

"Oh I found it..." I smiled at her and left it at that, enjoying the game I'd been playing.

"Ah... yeah. I see ya did. Well how is it?" she asked, still bearing that same faint worry.

"Pretty darn good as always, AJ!" Rainbow Dash answered her.

"Scootaloo, do ya wanna go put yer name on tha new cast? Apple Bloom asked her friend.

"Yeah! Les go!" she barely slurred and raised a hoof.

"You alright, Scoots?" Apple Bloom asked. Applejack's head turned and studied her as well.

"Yeah, I'm fine! C'mon!" she trotted off with her head held high and stiff as if to show how much in control of her body she was. Apple Bloom shrugged and followed her upstairs to their room.

Applejack watched them leave and then turned her gaze to me and Dash. "Ya'll didn't let that filly drink, did ya?" she asked with disappointment in her voice. I was forming the words to reply but the pegasus beat me to it.

"Darn right we did, AJ... She's not a little filly anymore! She deserves it after all that stuff she went through!"

"Rainbow Dash... Just 'cause she gettin older now don't mean she should be chuggin down mah cider. Heck, this stuff get us inta all sorts a trouble and just imagine what it would do to a filly."

"Take a chill pill, sister. She's got Mason and me lookin after her. She's in good hands, right S.H.?"

It took me a moment to process what S.H was. Stupid Human.

"Sure. I'm not gonna let anything happen to her." I promised.

"Well... I still can't imagine letting my Apple Bloom have any... and she knows better ta ask." Applejack said, getting a mug of her own and joining us at the table beside Rainbow Dash. "Heck, I still get all worked up when I think about leavin her alone at the farm! Next thing I know, she's gonna be bringin home a colt friend..." she took a large enough swallow to drain half of the mug.

"Come on... you can't be serious, right?" Dash said incredulously. "We were already off running around with colts when we were their age!"

"She aint even got her cutie mark yet, Dash! I swear those three fillies are gonna be the last young teenagers in Ponyville without em..."

"Ahh, you need to lighten up." Dash gave her an affectionate punch on the shoulder. "I bet Apple Bloom's already doing all sorts of stuff behind your back just like we were... let her grow up!"

"Well that's easy for you ta say. Apple Bloom bein with a colt is the last thing I need." and with that she drained the last of her mug.