Drive You Insane

Discord stared at me, eyes wide as beads of sweat rolled down his forehead. The same was for me too, as my muscles grew tense and immobile.

I stared back at Discord.

Discord stared back me.

And in a flash of blinding white light, I found myself looking at the wide open sky, no draconequus to be found anymore.

So that’s when I started screaming internally, unable to open my mouth to yell out loud. Or move anything at all to show my fear.

I couldn’t help but wear a small smile as I trailed off to the thought Discord connecting with the rest of my friends after so much time of him refusing to do so. Collapsing onto my bed after a rough day of caring for the animals, I let a sigh escape from my throat as I closed my tried eyes.

 Sure, they’d always been friends with him since I was tasked with his reformation, but it wasn’t until Tirek came that everyone of them realized that Discord wasn’t all that bad; that he was a true friend. He’d done some bad, but he realized that in the end. I’d always known that, of course, but it just took them some time for everyone else to learn it themselves.

Especially Rarity. So my grin grew wider at the fact that she had been the first pony to offer her time to him.

Things have really changed… haven’t they? For the better too.

That was when I heard a clattering noise come from downstairs, followed by the shrill voice of the very spirit I’d been thinking about.

“Fluttershy, I have a code three hundred!”

I sighed, my ears flattening as I forced open my burning eyes. Why would he possibly teleport here in the middle of a picnic if he didn’t do something bad?

All good things must come to an end, a little voice replied.

“But why so soon?”

I put on my usual benevolent smile as the sound of his footsteps grew louder, hoping for the best as I lifted my head up just in time to see him practically explode into my room, a look of pure consternation on his face.

I kept up the smile, though it was strained.

“Ahem, uh, Discord, I don’t think we really went over a code three hundred…” I started off saying.

“Well, It means the white one has hurt me!”

I cocked an eyebrow.

“What could Rarity possibly have done?”

His face switched to disgust in an instant, and he let out a hissing noise. Scrunching his nose and narrowing his eyes, he then spoke.

“She has admitted affections towards me!”

I smiled.

“Discord… what?”

“AFFECTIONS Fluttershy!” Discord bellowed, the wind blowing my mane backwards. “She is showing feelings for me.” Discord crossed his finger and his claw when he quoted the word ‘feelings.’

“Rarity actually did that? As in, um, romanticly?” I raised an eyebrow as I said the words.

“YES!” Discord slapped his paw upon his face, covering his eyes. I cringed upon hearing the loud impact of the paw on his face.

“That’s...  wonderful?”

Discord slowly walked to the nearby wall and proceeded to pound his head on the wooden surface.

Thunk, thunk, thunk.

I heard him mumble incoherents too, only catching the phrase ‘having to spell everything out’.’

“A-are you okay?”

Discord stopped planting his head on the wall and he looked at me with  deadpan face. He took huge, deep breaths, corners of his mouth twitching. “No Fluttershy, I’m not okay. We went over this.”

“We… we did?”

He buried his face into both of his hands simultaneously, speaking through them.

“Fluttershy, Rarity has said she likes me. I am a centuries old spirit of chaos who has caused mass devastation and has been imprisoned in stone for a little over a thousand years. I have seen ponies die before and watched their great great grandchildren do the same. I have played massive roles in both protecting and destroying not only Equestria, but the whole world. I have even taken down the very ponies that took me down milleniums ago.

“And here’s a fashionista that likes me, wants to date me, and possibly more. What the heck am I supposed to do, Fluttershy?”

He didn’t let me respond.

“Because I have no clue! So no, Fluttershy, I am not, in any way, okay right now. Capische?”

I tried to say something, but I couldn't. All I did was silently climb up into a sitting position on my bed, staring at him with wide eyes.

“Do you see now?”

“I… I think so.”

He smiled.

“Good. Now,should I date her?”

I scrunched my nose, the question echoing through the room. As I formulated an answer, an uncomfortable silence passed between as I fumbled around with my hooves.

“Well?” He spoke in a demanding voice, and I was forced to cough out an answer.

“Er, why are you asking me? Rarity’s the one who’s an expert in these thi-... Oops.”

He looked as if he was on the verge of crying. Was it sadness or madness? I could not decide.

“Fluttershy, if you don’t help me now, I think I am going to start an uprising in Griffionstone, blow up a few building, and proceed to have them overthrow Equestria. Then, I will literally eat the Crystal Empire and violently vomit out my own internal organs before replacing them with potatoes.”

“Uh, I don’t think you need to bring potatoes into this.”

“Then what should I do?” he was on the verge of yelling.

I sighed. “Discord, I’m sorry but this is something you.. you have to deal with on your own. This happened between you two, and it should stay between you two. Because what if I say something and it’s wrong? You don’t like it? I… I-I don’t know much about romance stuff, but I know that much.” I noticed Discord’s eyes. They looked dejected yet it cannot be helped. “Now go and poof yourself back and talk to her. You don’t leave a lady waiting alone on a date.”

Discord’s shoulders slumped. He snapped his claws and he was gone. Just like that.

The clearing was silent. No breeze blew through the leaves of trees, no ponies hooves clopped against the grass- not even a small mouse or bird was to be heard flying or scurrying away as the evening sun began to fade.

Once my overall panic went away, it switched to a feeling of nervousness as I fell down onto my back, staring up at the cloudless sky.

Where has he gone? Is going to tell the rest of our friends? Does he not accept my affections? Am I going to be brutally rejected? And I…

“I actually like him. But how?”

How? The question wouldn’t leave my mind. It refused to back down until it was answered. Yet there was no answer… Like so many of the questions I continued to have.

It’s not like we’d ever hung out that much or… well, anything. What similarities do we share, what would make us click? What, what, what, what!

My breathing was fast and I climbed up again, beginning to traipse back and forth. My ears were twitching and I was shaking my head, one of my forehooves rubbing a temple. My tail swished and my lower eyelid twitched, and my mind veered on the edge of insanity.

There was nothing logical to explain anything I was feeling at that moment. Nothing. At. All.  Romance? For Discord? It was something that seemed more like a loony dream from Pinkie Pie than real life.

I turned around to continue the cycle of pacing once more, only for my hoof to catch on a stone buried in the grass. My body went hurtling forward and I let out a small scream before my muzzle was muffled with dirt and anything else to be found on the ground.

That was when I snapped.

Jolting upwards and coughing up whatever had entered my mouth, too galled to care what it was, I ground my teeth together as my probably bloodshot eyes shot around looking for something to simply smash on the ground or lob into the air with all of my might. I needed to vent, and without anyone to talk to or anything else, smashing was the best way no matter how uncouth.

I quickly saw the area Discord and I had been picnicking, and before I could even register what my hooves were doing I was scuttling towards it at near light speed, narrowing my eyes while putting on my best damnable smile. I felt mad. Insane. Flummoxed, for lack of a better word. Why did I like Discord? Why would he just leave me like that?

I came skidding to a halt as I practically pounced onto the basket laying in the middle of the blanket Discord had laid down, almost tearing it open with the force of my magic as I carelessly tossed the things I’d worked so hard to pack away. And that’s when I found it.

I wanted to smash it. I wanted to burn it. I was inconceivably livid and I was thinking of every single way to destroy the blasted picture Pinkie had snuck of me and him together. But that’s when I stopped. My ragged breathing ceased, along with my pounding heart and grinding teeth. Everything stopped.

Gently securing it in my muddied hooves, I lifted it up to eye level. Because what it showed was the reason why I’d ever want to like someone like him. I have no clue of the picture’s appearance in the basket, though I did vaguely remember Pinkie slipping something into the basket when she stopped me. But that did not mean it had no effect, as the memory attached to it resurfaced.

        There was a light drizzle caused by the pegasi, a faint pitter-patter of the rain against the windows being the only sound to be heard. I stayed indoors, not even thinking about getting my fur and my mane damp. I could not find my umbrella anywhere and I was sure that Sweetie Bell took it when she went to those friends of hers. I was stuck, unable to go out and at least say hi to one of my friends. But at least I was warm and dry.

Knock Knock Knock.

My ears pricked at the sound of someone knocking.

Who could it be? I thought as I strained to rise from the couch and walk to the door. I pressed on the doorknob with my magic.

“Hello,” I began, “How may I help… you?”

I expected someone to be there but there was no one at all. I looked to the left and the right. No one. I took a glimpse up, thinking that it must have been a pegasus playing a prank. But the sky was relatively clear, with a few clouds being an exception. I finally looked down.

There, lying on the ground was an umbrella. But it was not my umbrella. This particular umbrella was green. I picked it up and twirled it around while looking at the detail. There, I saw a folded note taped to the handle. I peeled the paper off, unfolded it and began to read.

Get your gem covered flank over at Sugar Cube corner. You have an umbrella, so there’s no excuse.

Signed,

Totally not a pink earth pony.

I rolled my eyes as I threw the note aside.Pinkie Pie can be really determined to get her way. I groaned as I picked up and opened the umbrella, closed the door behind me, and made my way through the slightly muddy road. I will need to go to the spa after this, I thought. The walk went by fast, seeing as my mind was preoccupied with thoughts of my next dress line clouding my head.

I raised my hoof and knocked on the door of Sugar Cube Corner. I knocked once. Silence, besides the rain outside and the occasional pony walking by.  I was about to knock again when the door opened slightly, a pink hoof outstretched.

“What the-”

Before I could finish the sentence it snatched my raised hoof and pulled me in. The place was dark as the door shut behind me.  Why were the lights off? The only time when Pinke has the lights off is when she has a… oh yeah.

I made no signs of movement or fright when the chorus of ‘SURPRISE’ echoed throughout each corner of the building, or when a pink face suddenly appeared directly in front of me.

“Hiya Rarity,” the pink face squealed, “Glad you could make it! What took you so long?”

“Hello Pinkie Pie,” I looked around and noticed all of the smiling faces. “I should have known.”

“Known what? And why the long face? It’s your birthday. You should be smiling~” With that statement said, Pinkie Pie grabbed both edges of my mouth and pulled them upwards to form a forced smile.

“AAAAHHHHHHH!” I screamed. Pinkie released her grip from my aching mouth. “That hurts.”

“Oops, sorry.”

I looked around at all the ponies around me, smiling with party hats on and cake in their hooves. It was certainly a nice gesture, but I nevertheless let out a sigh.

“Pinkie, you know I don’t like surprise parties.”

“I… forgot?” Pinkie released her biggest smile yet. I shook my head while chuckling slightly.

“It’s fine, Pinkie. You know I love any part of yours anyways.”

“Yippie!”

She went bounding off somewhere amongst the crowd, and I let my smile fall, groaning.

“How much frosting will there be this time?”

I shuddered at the image of Applejack’s birthday party.

“So many sprinkles…”

But my flashback was soon broken by a flash of blinding white light.

“Well, well, well, look what the pink candy-demon brought in!”

There he was. Him. In all his comical glory. He wore a white face covered in polkadots of different colors and sizes along with a bright red artificial nose over his real nose. He wrapped his arm around my neck.

“Hello Birthday girl!” the irritating draconequus caterwauled near my ear while not letting go of his grip around me.

“Discord.” I struggled to push him away but he was not easy to budge. “Let go of me you brute!”

“Not even a teensy-weensy bit happy to see me?” Discord wore a smile that can only be matched with the smile of Pinkie’s. I glared at him, my teeth clenched and my eyes narrow. Then I heard a click.

“Perfect!” I turned to the direction of what was unmistakably Pinkie’s voice. She was holding a camera in her hooves. Rainbow Dash, Twilight, Fluttershy, and Applejack were crowded behind her as they tried to catch a glimpse of the camera’s tiny screen. Fluttershy and Twilight had the decency to cover their mouths to hide their obvious giggles. Whereas Applejack, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash fell on the floor in an intense laughter.

“Oh no you didn’t.”

 My eyes widened at the camera.

“Here, take a look Rarity,” Pinkie pie turned the camera around and I was able to view the screen clearly. The screen and the cursed picture. Sure enough, in the picture Discord’s arm was around me. He was smiling, while my eyes bore through his soul.

“Ooh,” Discord looked at the picture with a magnifying lens near his eye, “You captured it impeccably. I would like a copy to keep if you don’t mind?

“Sure thing!”

“Delete that picture now!” I chased after the pink ball of energy but she had already zipped off. Finding her would be near to impossible. Even I knew that.

“Couldn’t have been a better moment to take that picture,” Discord tapped me on my nose. “Wouldn’t you agree?

“Discord,” I began to stomp away from the imperfect figure, “Go away.”

Fluttershy didn’t realize I wasn’t going to see Rarity though. She didn’t know what love actually meant to me. No, chaos was too big of a concept for anyone besides me to understand anyways.

I laid down on my cotton candy cloud, pounding it with my lion fist. Chocolate rain went flying upwards into my face, and I growled, hitting my first again to make it go away.

“Dumb little marshmallow hor- gah pony!”

My teeth grinded and a tooth flying out in the process before it grew back in a flash. My tail swished back and forth irritably and I squeezed my eyes shut until they hurt and I had to open them again. My friends. Friends. They all saw me as a hollow-skulled comedian who had no grasp on the concepts of love, intelligence, you name it- I was a bumbling fool in their eyes.

“Not even Twilight matches up to my smart-y ness!”

I tried to stand up and ended up doing a front-flip into the air, teleporting back to the cloud.

“It’s just, unlike her, I want to have some fun,” I then whispered, furrowing my eyebrows as I watched an eagle dive down. “Fun…” the eagle’s feathers disappeared in an explosion of confetti and glitter, it’s wings turning into cotton candy.

“Wait, no, Fluttershy would disapprove!”

I changed the strawberry flavored M&M’s covering it’s body to grape.

“She’ll like that much better.”

But my fun and games wouldn’t last long as I tried to diverge from the topic at hand.  I saw something white darting across the grassy fields below me as the eagle fell, and I brought the pirate-like telescope in my lion hand to my eye. It was her. Rarity.

Crying.

The telescope vanished.

“I…”

No jokes were to be made. I couldn’t up with one. There was positively nothing to cheer me up at that very moment. I was silent. The cloud vanished. The eagle was given its feathers back. My mind blanked, until a thought appeared in the darkness of my conscious.

What about her? What about her and what shefeels?

I sighed as I made my way towards the sobbing mare. How should I tell her? Should I let her down easy? Or should I be blunt with her? This should be easy to choose. Why am I having difficulty? It’s just Rarity. I snapped my claw. Face it now… might as well.

“Rarity,” I teleported in front of her, and she skidded to a halt. Her makeup was running and she was biting her bottom lip to choke back sobs, tears running down her cheeks.She hadn’t been like that before… why now? She barely managed to stare at me before I noticed something hovering beside in a shiny blue aurora.

A picture, from when I was with her at her birthday party.

I tried to say something, but I couldn’t. My mouth was glued shut, and all I could do was stare back at her shaking eyes. I hadn’t really done anything, yet I was inclined to apologize… for what, though? I shouldn’t have left, but she shouldn’t have run away either… or should she have?

This is why I’ve disregarded love… I’ve never been welcome to it anyways.

Or maybe, should I apologize for what I’ve become? A heartless friend who leaves ponies when they need him.

“I’m… sorry.”

That’s when she started running again. But it was towards me, instead of away. Was that right? Shouldn’t she be calling me a monster, leaving me here to realize all I’ve done wrong?

Everything was a blur from there when I felt something I should’ve never felt. I couldn’t move. It was wrong. But… My body froze when she wrapped her hooves around me and looked me straight in the eyes, before closing her own and pressing her lips against mine.

Why?

 The feeling of her soft lips pressing upon mine was a feeling unlike any other. It left a warm, tingly, pleasant sensation on my mouth and I couldn’t help but press against her lips too as I closed my eyes. But, just like that, she pulled away, arms letting go.Her cheeks were tinted with a deep red and she turned her head away from me. Fast. Like a blink. One word raced through my mind though.

Wrong.

I didn’t even know if I loved her yet, but the look in her eyes… I felt pity more than anything.

“I-I… I’m so sorry,” she whispered ever so softly. Her ears were drooped. Her eyes were tightly shut and tears were pouring through her eyelids

“Rarity?” I placed my claw under her chin, turning her head to face me. “Please look at me.”

She ever so slowly opened her eyes, head hung low yet I could see she was looking up. At me. I saw her then look away, my claw leaving her face as she climbed up to all fours. She was going to run again. So I grabbed her forelegs, and she let out a small yelp as I pulled her into a soft embrace. I felt her hooves encircle me tightly. I heard muffled sobs.

“Rarity,” I stopped the hug and looked at her face. But her face was different. She was smiling. And what a smile it was.

“T-thank you.”

But did I love her?