Chapters This was edited by Winter Storm and I must say, he did amazing, you should probably check him out, his story is really good. Tell me if you find any errors, because I know this has more potential, it just has not reached it.
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"Do you think there is a problem?"
I apparently had a problem. I was mentally degrading and my sanity was burning away. I may not be as sharp as I used to be, but that was due to my break up with Colgate.
"There is no such thing as a problem, you know, just things we agree with and don't agree with." I countered, avoiding the question. As much as I appreciated the gesture, I hated opening up to people.
"Do you find anything wrong?" Dr. Whooves, my therapist, inquired.
"There is no such thing as wrong because there is more than one perspective and there is always one perspective that looks at it as good." I said flatly.Soon enough he will get frustrated. I thought. A Cutie Mark for patience this time, so it will take longer than normal to wear him down. But if there is anything I have learned it's that everypony has a breaking point.
"What has happened recently? Anything major happen?" Dr. Whooves tried once more with a look of exasperation. He probably wasn't used to patients being this difficult.
"Nothing has happened for 3 months, two weeks and 5 days." I replied, accidently answering the question.
"What happened that day?" Dr. Whooves questioned. He seemed intrigued by this sudden release of information.
"That was the day that Princess Celestia and Princess Luna found that the gap between the rich and the poor was growing too large, so they held a meeting for everypony to discuss the situation." I said, naming an unrelated event that happened that day
"I don't think you understood my question." Dr. Whooves stated. Everything about that sentence irked me. I hated being treated as if I was stupid and the way he said it certainly implied it.
"Of course I understand, it was the only thing that has happened to me in recent history. I remember that day perfectly. Me, Colgate and DD went to it, just so we could do a project." I said, revealing far too much in my frustration.
"I know who Diamond Dasher is, but who is Colgate?" Dr. Whooves said, prying his way deeper into my enigma.
"DD, or as you like to call Diamond Dasher, is my best friend. The one constant in my life. I wish I could say the same for Colgate." I said, no longer paying attention to Dr. Whooves, but to my memories.
"Who is Colgate?" Dr. Whooves said. His voice had changed from that of an interrogator to a sincere helper. Though I find that people flip-flop too easily, I appreciated this.
"Who wasn't she? She was everything to me. It hurt when I wasn't around her, and I had a feeling of ecstasy when around her." I said honestly.
"Did anything happen with your friends that day?" Dr. Whooves asked.
"I honestly have no idea what happened. It started out as a normal day." I said as I recalled that day that seemed so long ago, yet was really not that long ago. No matter how long it would be, I would never forget that day. It was a day that no matter how much I tried to shrug it off, it still persisted, breaking through my defenses and consuming my soul.
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I stared at the clock across from me. It read 4:36. The sun was just barely reaching over the horizon. I blew upwards, pushing the hair out of my eyes. I wonder if Colgate is awake. I wondered. I quickly decided to not try communication and instead continue to think of ideas that would melt away within the hour. I glanced back at the clock 4:39. "SUNOVA-" I began, only stopped by knocking. I trotted to the door. Many questions raced through my mind, but the most prominent was who the heck is awake at 4:40 in the morning? I opened the door to see two faces that actually mattered to me. Both were out of breath and looking towards the ground rather than me.
"Dude. I. Found out. About. A perfect. Final. Project. For. Us." the out-of-breath Diamond Dasher said. I loved him like a brother. We both lived in Manehattan and I met him at a cafe. He was a sky blue pegasus with a white mane. He was a nice guy who had a soft spot for introverts, or more commonly known as the shy people. We had both went to the same high school. I could still remember how I had met him. Six years ago during lunch, I was just sitting next to a tree, feeling the cool zephyr grace my coat on that warm day. I had no food as usual and he must have seen me and taken pity. Normally, I would have spit at someone who provided charity just because they felt bad, but how could I do that to a pony that had been through so much, and who truly wanted to help? He brought his lunch over and sat next to me. Neither one of us spoke for a while, until he offered me a bite of his hayburger. I politely refused, but he looked back and said "aren't you hungry? I've never seen you eat much." At that point, I had laughed and took a bite. Thanking him, we ended talked a bit and after I thought well that's the end of that. I expected him to give up, just like so many other ponies had. However, he came the next day, and the day after that and before too long, it was normal. We would help each other on homework, spot each other a few bits, but most importantly, we would be there for each other.
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"What is it?" I inquired.
"Its. Absolutely. Perfect!" Colgate exclaimed.
"The current event." Diamond said, taking a break to catch his breath. "Okay, think I'm good now. The current event project is going to be due soon, right? Well, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna are doing a speech today, so we go to that, bing bang boom we are done."
"Sounds good, what are we waiting for?" I said, pumped by this idea. I normally wasn't this excited, given my complete lack of sleep, but the idea of a completed project excited me.
"Well, I guess the speech. It's at noon." Colgate said.
"Oh, where is it?" I asked.
Silence filled the room as nopony knew where this genius idea was.
"I have the flier at my place." Colgate proposed. With a bright burst of magic, Colgate teleported us to her apartment. It was a nice place that was tidy and had multicolored bubbles decorating the walls. The walls were the only source of color though, everything else was white or black, whether it was stripes or otherwise. Colgate herself was spinning in circles, dazed after her mass teleportation spell. She was not used to short distance teleportation and the greater need for accuracy made it a bit more of a strain on some ponies.
We wandered into her main room, which also happened to be her bedroom. The bed was perfectly made, though it probably had her sleeping body inside of it not too long ago. I looked at my marefriend's home, somewhere I frequented when I got sick of my bare walls and empty notebook. She gave me permission to come in whenever I wanted, but I still knocked. Maybe I didn't trust myself or maybe I wasn't sick of bare walls, just loneliness. Even if she went back to sleep after I arrived, something about somepony knowing I was there, that I was near them, was comforting.
I saw a pamphlet and picked it up. It was easy to spot, as the floor was bare and one solitary color, a deep midnight blue. The pamphlet itself had a picture of a crescent moon inside of a sun on one side. On the other, it read,
'What- Princess Celestia and Princess Luna royal announcement.
When- Tuesday, November 2nd.
Where- Ponyville.'
"I found it!" I shouted.
"Cool!" Colgate and Diamond Dasher replied enthusiastically. Colgate snagged the leaflet out of my hooves with her magic. I liked the feel of paper in my hooves, so I rarely used magic to read or write, except for picking up a pencil.
Colgate read the paper, mouthing the words that she read.
"So, where are we going?" Diamond Dasher asked.
"To Ponyville," Colgate told him, "I take it we're teleporting?"
"I don't think I can fly that far. Plus, I can't transport three people" Diamond said.
"Yeah, I guess we're teleporting. Now let's get going." I said, eager to get going. I wanted to go a lot because I had spent most of my life in Manehattan, and had never been to the quaint town.
"We should pack some food or something." Colgate said, proposing yet another great idea.
"Well, I got some spare bits, but not much food." I said, opting out of the food option.
"Same here!" was DD's reply.
"Do you two eat anything but Hayburger King?" Colgate muttered. "I guess I'll have the food covered." She sighed, walking towards her monochrome kitchen. She covered the pantry with a magical aura and opened the doors revealing all sorts of health foods.
"But that food sucks!" Diamond Dasher complained when he saw the contents she was pulling out.
His complaint only received a chuckle from her as she pulled out some food and put it in a little bag. It was a bag of her creation, one that could hold way more than it looked. Sadly, if it got too far away from a unicorn, it would compress on the contents, erasing the contents from existence, along with the bag.
Before too long, she finished packing her health food. Colgate focused her magic, her aura cloaking out bodies. She was used to long distance travel, so she was able to do it flawlessly
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My surroundings suddenly shifted as the effects of teleportation took place. I hated teleporting, but it was too nifty to ignore. We were at the town center, only 20 or 30 feet away from the stage. Seconds later, Colgate was right next to us. She, unlike me, was okay with teleportation and took it all in stride. Luckily for us, as I was unfamiliar with long-distance travel. I felt so dizzy and tired, I nearly passed out on the spo-
I was rudely pulled out of my memory by Dr. Whooves.
"How do you remember this day so well?" He asked wonderingly.
"I have wondered where I went wrong so many times, whenever I sleep, it is just a replay. Soon enough, I had it memorized." I replied.
"Continue, I was just wondering. Besides, sometimes it's good to let things out and talk about them." Dr. Whooves assured.
"Alright, so we arrived in town square..." I began as I was once again consumed by the memory, hopefully for the last time.
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"So what are we going to do for the next 6 hours?" Diamond Dasher groaned.
"I have no idea." Colgate replied, glaring at him.
"We could just chill in the park." I said, trying to act as if it wasn't that big. I had never been to a park, and was curious to know what it looked like, what it smelled like, what the grass felt like beneath my hooves and what it sounded like. I had imagined it to be quiet and peaceful, somewhere where you could just live, without a care in the world.
"Sounds good, what do you think DD?" Colgate accepted.
"Sure. Just one question. Where is it?" Diamond Dasher said, poking a hole in our plan yet again.
"Well, we aren't in a rush. We'll find it eventually." Colgate said.
Luckily, we didn't have to spend the entire time wandering around town aimlessly. We made it to the park in good time and found a place where we could sit.
After minutes of silence, Colgate whispered "It's beautiful."
"Not as beautiful as you, Blue." I countered, calling her by her pet name. I was Emmy and she was Blue, named after her gorgeous sapphire hair.
We kissed, and she blushed as she turned away. She grabbed her bag and pulled out some food.
"I'm famished, what about you guys?" Colgate said, without looking up from the food laid out in front of her.
Diamond Dasher's stomach growled. "I guess I am!" He said laughingly.
"Why not?" I smiled, going against my routine. That was something Colgate had taught me over the past two years. Sometimes, it was best to deviate from the plan.
Colgate began to make sandwiches filled with carrots, lettuce, sprouts and chips. Her specialty and my favorite. She finished the first one and received a look of protest when she gave it to Diamond Dasher. She began a second one out of the same materials, but this time she locked eyes with me, not looking away for a second. The end result was a kiss on the cheek and a sandwich without a sprout out of place.
After we were done and she knew we were satisfied, she made her own sandwich. It was moments like these that made me feel like a bad coltfriend, knowing that she was making sure I was happy before tending to her own needs. Nevertheless, I still said nothing as usual and was content to watch her work and eating the sandwich slowly.
"So what do you guys want to do now?" Diamond Dasher asked now that his stomach was full.
"The clouds." I said, directing my hoof to the skies above, not as a warning, but a suggestion.
"Fine then." Diamond said, lying down on the grass. The three of us watched the sky as dawn began to creep away, taking away its orange influence. The wispy clouds crawled across the sky. I felt as if I had seen it before, but I didn't care.
That was another thing I learned from my relationship with Colgate. Not to care about every little thing, because no matter how much was wrong, there was one thing right. Her. Looking back, I wonder how much she learned, other than how to deal with bums like me, people who don't contribute much."
"Why did you stop?" Dr. Whooves asked, perplexed by my sudden silence.
I chuckled. "My mouth is getting a bit sore. Could I just skip to the actual event?" I asked. I really was feeling tired, my jaw aching.
"Do whatever you like." Dr. Whooves said. "We have plenty of time left."
"Fine, thank you. So we had finished listening to the princesses, and it was not motivating... at all." I said, falling back into the hole that had claimed me so many times before.
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"How the heck are we supposed to write a report on that?" Diamond Dasher asked, putting our collective thoughts into words.
We continued to walk away from the town center until we spotted a café.
Without confirmation that anypony else was going to join them, we walked in. Great minds think alike, I guess.
We collapsed at a table and I glanced at the clock. It was well past three, so the princesses talked for over three hours. The problem wasn't lack of substance; it was that there was nothing of importance.
"Well that was a waste." Colgate groaned.
"No kidding. All they really did was talk about food prices and such." I agreed with her. She didn't look like she was comfortable, as if she didn't want to be here.
"What's wrong Blue?" I asked, concerned.
"I want to take a break." She said, disbelief apparent on my face.
"From what? Do you want to go back home?" I asked, still confused.
"From this relationship. I love you- a lot- but I just feel we are together and doing stuff with each other, but not together in the spirit." Colgate said softly, not meeting my gaze.
I was speechless. This did not comprehend with me. When it did, I began to cry. I broke down in public and didn't care. She had tears in her eyes, but it wasn't even close to where I was. Half of my life was torn away. I had already selected a wedding band; I was going to propose once I finally bought them. I rarely ate because I knew that once we were together forever, it would all be worth it.
"I was going to propose. Please! We can make this work." I begged.
She shook her head. This further rejection brought anger, something I hadn't felt in years. Such a flood of emotion that it overwhelmed my sense of decency and restraint.
"FINE! IF YOU DON'T WANT ME IN YOUR LIFE, THEN GET THE HELL OUT OF MINE!" I yelled, instantly regretting it. Nopony yelled at a mare. Anypony who did was disgusting, the scum of Equestria. I galloped out of the cafe, leaving Colgate to feel bad about what she had done. Diamond Dasher followed, but he was trying to catch up to me. The rage I felt simmered, slowly being quenched as I galloped father away. The rage disappeared, and I felt, not self-pity, but disgust. I yelled at a mare. Somepony who had mattered so much to me for so long. I collapsed at the base of a tree, the same one from earlier. I heard hoofsteps behind me, somehow knowing it was Diamond Dasher. He came closer, but I curled up into a sobbing ball.
"Don't worry. This is just a new chapter." Diamond Dasher murmured, attempting and failing to comfort me.
"I just lost everything, and you say 'don't worry?'" I said, mocking his choice of words. I began to cry even harder.
"You haven't lost everything, not by a long shot." He pointed out.
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I hope it was enjoyable, I enjoyed writing it. you can expect 5 more parts.
A new chapter can be expected in a week, though it may take longer because editing etc.
I thank Fragment12 for giving me the idea for this chapter and thank Winter Storm for... encouragement.
Just to be clear, this is on both fimfiction and fanfiction. Fanfiction is farther ahead, but it does not get edited.
Also, review. Rate. Anything really, but don't hate.
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I was sobbing. But I didn't feel bad. I felt better than ever.
“Do you need a moment” Dr. Whooves said
“Yeah” I said, already halfway out the door.
I passed by Diamond as I left for the bathroom
“You okay man?” Diamond said, but I ignored him, continuing my path to the bathroom.
I opened the door and walked into the small room. Only a sink and a toilet belonged to the room along with a bar of soap and toilet paper.
I moved to the sink, not having to go to the bathroom. I splashed my face with water, rubbing my face with my hooves. I looked into the mirror to see a dark green face look back. The shabby mane covered the reflections forehead. The metallic blue eyes were framed by dark circles caused by years of insomnia. I stared into the mirror for a short time, but eventually got bored.
Feeling better, I left the small room and headed towards Dr. Whooves room. I passed by Diamond once more, but this time, I flashed a smile in his direction, something he was happy to return. I thought back to the past few months and recognized few moments where I was happy.
“Good luck Ember!” He exclaimed after I had walked by.
“Thanks” I said, closing the door once more.
Whooves had his eyes closed, rocking back and forth in his chair. He sat in it like I saw a cyan pony sit in chairs.
“So what do you want to talk about now?” Dr. Whooves said without opening his eyes.
“I still don't have any clue why it happened and I was hoping that you could help me with that.” I said
“The way she said it, my guess is that the spark was gone. The magic of the moment gone. Her heart didn't skip a beat when she saw you.” Dr. Whooves said, moving past his role of therapist to a friend. Which once again, seemed unusual.
I mulled over this thought, accepting it as a possibility. How could I bring the spark back? How could I re-introduce the passion? I thought, gaining back hope for something gone, never to return.
An awkward silence overcame the room, submerging it with discomfort.
“So what have the past few months been like for you?” Dr. Whooves asked, breaking the silence with a giant hammer.
“Well, I tried to write out my feelings, but that just didn't work. Then I just.... stopped. I didn't really do much. I didn't sleep, go to school, communicate with anyone or leave the house.” I said
“Why?” Dr. Whooves said
“I didn't see any hope in the future. My life was taken away. I felt hollow, as if nothing was left.” I said
“Grim... That's not healthy, You know that right?” Dr. Whooves said sarcastically with a smirk on his face. I chuckled in return.
“I'm sorry, this might be...strange, but I'm interested in how your relationship started.” Dr. Whooves said. I was taken aback. There was only one thought on my mind Is DD sure this guy has a license... he's so... strange.
“No, not at all.” I said, thinking of a place to start.
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I sat in math, waiting for the teacher to begin class.
“Today, we will be continuing our discussion from last week on the intricacies of triangles” Mr. Pythagorean said, standing up at the front of the room
I took out my journal and pencil, ready to take notes.
“Why does this guy love triangles so much? It's frickin unnatural.” Diamond Dasher whispered to me. I chuckled at his usual quip towards the teacher that was probably the youngest in the school. Whenever it was work-time, he sat at the back of the class with the genius kid who played gamepony everyday. I never bothered to learn his name, but he astounded me. He knew everything about math and got a perfect on every test and assignment, but rarely moved a muscle unless it was time to leave.
“Sorry I'm late everypony.” A mare said, rushing into class, papers falling from her bag. When nobody went to help her with the disorganization, I decided to go help her. Dashing to the front of the class, I helped her clean up. “Thanks, I'm Colgate” She said after I was done helping her.
“As Ember just learned, this is the new student, Colgate.” Mr. Pythagorean said, introducing her to the class. “There is an open seat in front of Diamond Dasher, please go to your seat Ms. Colgate.”
She looked for man empty chair, and seeing one in front of where I came from, she headed there.
“Hey, I'm Green Ember, pleasure to meet you” I whispered to Colgate.
“Nice to meet you.” She said, pausing. “would you mind telling me what's going on?”
“Not at all” I said “see, that's our teacher. He loves triangles. Well, a student said squares were better, so he went into a long discussion last week about triangles and I think over the weekend he forgot why he started it and decided to continue it.” I whispered to her in a short breath. She looked back with an unsure look on her face
“Triangles. That's all you need to know” Diamond Dasher said. She smiled at him. “B T dubs, I'm Diamond Dasher” He said, a little too loud
“Is there something that the class needs to know about today's topic Mr. Dasher.” The teacher said, spitting mad about the fact that he was interrupted.
“Yes, you forgot to identify what the hypotenuse's relationship with the legs is.” Diamond Dasher said.
“Thank you, I knew I was missing something.” Mr. Pythagorean said, buying into Diamond Dasher's charm. He then continued his chat about triangles until class ended. I had spaced out during most of it, already knowing the material.
As I cleaned up, I looked to Colgate's desk to see a sheet of paper filled with neat handwriting and equations spoken by the teacher.
I left the class with Diamond Dasher, but there was somepony tailing us. I didn't see it, but I felt it. I ignored my gut and proceeded to my third class, one of the few without Diamond in it also, Creative Writing. I had taken it because not only was my talent writing, but it also had my favorite teacher, Mr. Kindle. He was an incredibly nice, relaxed guy who was still able to maintain control of the students. His talent was to inspire, something that he had done for me, way back in foal school. He had came to my class as a substitute teacher and after recess, he had noticed I was gone. He went out to the playground to look for me and he found me at the swing set, crying after the harassment of other students. I still hadn't found my cutie mark, and this was a main-point of harassment, but they also made fun of me for being ugly, non-athletic and the list continues to grow. He had managed to get a room all to myself and told me to “do what I wanted”. So I wrote and wrote for the rest of the day and when he came in, he smiled at me and told me to look back. I did as he said and nearly exploded with joy. I had gotten my cutie mark. It was a pencil with the tip on fire, heated by the writing it had done.
I walked into the classroom to see that smiling face I looked forward to seeing everyday.
“Hey, Ember. How you doing little man?” He said affectionately, the way an uncle would greet a child of any age.
“Great as always.” I said. This was my safe-zone. I could come out of my shell, if only for an hour and do something I loved.
“And who is this behind you?” He said, looking behind me. I looked around to see Colgate's dark blue form behind me.
“I'm Colgate.” She said, not missing a beat.
“Sit wherever you like and start writing. Or relaxing. Do what you want as long as words are formed. Poetry, stories, songs, I don’t care. I just want expression.” He said, using his usual speech to greet new students.
“Thank you, it's a pleasure to be in this class.” She said walking over to my normal spot in the corner, on the squashed pillow
“Son of a bitch.” I said
“There are some things you just don't touch. This is not one of those. Don't push her out, join her.” Mr. Kindle said, nearly reading my mind.
I walked over to the corner and without a word, sat down and began to write. I began to continue my tale of Thenian, an alicorn trying to defend Equestria from Morgarath, a pony of limitless evil. I continued the scene where he tried to escape his prison inside the mountain, getting past the thousand guards placed to keep him in. I wrote for the entire class, never looking up from the papers sewn together carefully to make a book.
“What are you writing?” Colgate said as I got ready to leave.
“My story. It's everything I've worked on in the past few months. What about you?” I replied
“Just poetry. It's stupid really.” She said looking down to her bag as she levitated her materials into her bag.
“I'm sure it's great. I hope I can read it sometime.” I said, attempting to make her feel better.
“I'm sure you will, I just have to finish a few more pieces.” She said, her bag already on her back.
“I'm looking forward to it.” I said, standing up fro my uncomfortable position. I've gotten far too used to the pillow. I'm so sore. I thought on my way to the door
“See you later Ember” Colgate said, walking in the opposite direction.
“See ya!” I shouted after her, but I doubted she heard. She was already down the hall and turning the corner.
“Shit. I can't let my guard down like that.” I mumbled to myself as I left for history.
2 months later
“Dude, I’m so bored.” Diamond said, lying on his back on my bed.
“I’ll get right on that” I said with thick sarcasm.
Nobody spoke for a minute, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t thinking.
Dude, come on. We need as much help as we can get. If we stay too long, we get friend-zoned. One side of me argued, as my imagination conjured up two of me with no differences between them.
Relationships are personal. Don’t tell anyone. We’ll figure it out later. Another one of me said
Ask him about it really vaguely Yet another one said, popping out of nowhere. That’s when it clicked. It was perfect, it isn’t condemning but any advice would be helpful. He’s had a few marefriends, he’ll know something.
“You think I should get a marefriend?” I asked, destroying the silence with a solid buck.
“Umm, yeah. I guess?” Diamond said, uncomfortable by the random question. “Who were you thinking of?”
“Nopony in particular.” I said
“Nopony says that without thinking of somepony in particular. Who is it?” He continued to push
I wanted to tell somepony and I knew he wouldn’t stop. “Don’t tell anypony.” I said after deciding to tell him.
“Okay” He said
“Swear on your life.” I said
“I swear.” He said, his face looking amused.
“Colgate.” I said, a look of disbelief overcame his face.
After recovering from the shock, he said “You too would look good together.”
“Well how should I-” I said, interrupted by knocking.
“You do it now. Don’t be awkward and more importantly, be chill.” He said, answering my unfinished question.
I walked over to the front of the house and over to my door. I opened it for Colgate, already knowing who it was. She knocked in a certain tap tappity tap thunk way that was unique to only her.
“Hey Ember” She said
“Hey Colgate.” I said. Without a pause, I decided, just do it now. “Would you like to go out sometime?”
“What a coincidence. Kinda why I came over.” She said, apparently not knowing Diamond was over. At this I nearly died.
I was not sure how long I had feelings like this. They had kind of always been there. What was happening didn’t make sense. Out of nowhere, she had the same feelings? Or was she just trying to make me feel better?
“So… how about it?” I said, taking a seat on the worn couch in the small living room. It was a small apartment that I rented for cheap. I easily paid for it with the money I made writing short stories for a small publishing company. As long as the stories didn’t do horrible, they made money to pay for food and the apartment and every semester I have to pay for tuition, which my parents help me out with. Colgate took a seat next to me, ready to answer almost immediately
Before she could answer, I heard hoofsteps behind us. I turned around to see Diamond Dasher behind me. Colgate saw my attention turn, so she also looked behind the couch to see the missing member of the trio.
“Hey Colgate. I would love to stay, but my parents need help with the, uuhhhhh… basement.” He said trying to make up an excuse.
Colgate laughed, her beautiful laugh twinkling on my ears.
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I was stuck in the past, thinking of a better time. It started out so well, but the end was so sudden, it nearly gave me whiplash. I wondered what she felt like. Had she moved on? Why did she end it? I could only wonder. It didn’t matter why, or what she did after. All that mattered was that she didn’t care. Not anymore.
“Some things you just have to leave alone. I have no clue what this is.” Dr. Whooves said.
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1 month earlier
I walked up to her apartment door, holding a rose I dyed blue in my hooves. The rain normally would have destroyed it, but I had used a preservation spell on it.
I stood at the door, hearing her laugh from the other side of the door. I wanted, no I needed her back. I knocked on the door, but quickly regretted it, running away and dropping the rose. I heard the door behind me and her beautiful voice behind me say “What’s this? It’s so pretty.
VWVWVWVWVW POV- Colgate
“I wonder if he’s moved on.” I said, sitting across from Amethyst Star. After she had taken a break from the relationship, she stopped hanging out with Ember and Diamond, leaving her to make new friends.
“He probably has. He’s a guy, they don’t care about much.” Star said.
“I haven’t seen him in a while, I wonder if he’s okay.” I said absent-mindedly
“Snap out of it. You left him for a reason.” She said
“That’s the thing. I didn’t leave him. I don’t know why I wanted to take a break.” I said honestly.
“Look, this is boring. You obviously want him back. He won’t come back, he has too much pride. You have to go back. The way I hear it, you made the mistake not him. You have to make it right.” Star said, finally saying something helpful
“What if he doesn’t want to get back together?” I said
“Doesn’t matter, you need closure. I have to going; I promised Lyra I would help her write a song.” Star said. She left my apartment, taking her bag with her.
I thought about what to do know. After deciding, I followed her out the door but I did not share her destination. I was going to who I belonged with.
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“You spaced out, weren’t you going to- never mind.” Dr. Whooves said after my long silence.
“Sorry, I got lost in a moment long gone.” I said
“What do you write about?” Dr. Whooves asked of me.
“Well, I’ve been writing a story for about 2 years now about a hero who has to defend Equestria from an evil over the mountains and the seas.”
“That doesn’t seem like 2 years’ worth of work.” Dr. Whooves said
“So, before Celestia and Luna ruled, their father Thenian was the ruler of Equestria. He controlled the tides, the sun and the moon. He was said to be more powerful than anypony else. But many things are kept secret, right? Nopony had ever crossed the sea or the mountains in that time, so nopony knew about the evil that lay over the Equestrian border but Thenian. This monster was Morgarath, the twin of Morgarath. Morgarath was more powerful than Thenian, but thanks to Thenian’s superior intelligence, Morgarath had been beaten once before, but only temporarily. Gaining more power over the years, Morgarath went into legend and fell into obscurity; only the oldest knew his name. Eventually, even Thenian forgot about him, needing to tend to his people more than legend. One day, as Thenian was tending to the su-“
“Stop, I’ll read it when it comes out.” Dr. Whooves said, interrupting me.
“You better” I said
Dr. Whooves glanced at the clock. It was already 7:30 at night, 3 hours had been covered in this session. 3 hours I expected horrible, actually better than the past month.
“I have to go home now, I expect to see you next week.” Dr. Whooves said.
“Great minds think alike.” I said
Leaving the room with Dr. Whooves, I saw the asleep Diamond.
“The building is on fire!” I screamed.
“Holy Shit!” Diamond yelled, awakening abruptly. He saw that it was just me and Dr. Whooves and he mumbled “asshole”
Laughing at him, we all left the building. Dr. Whooves split off once we left, going the other direction. I didn’t mind, He probably had his own family. Thinking of family, I became sullen. My hopes of having- no sharing a family with Colgate. My lonely childhood, watching the other happy ponies playing.
“Dude, you want some food” Diamond said, munching on a hayburger from his bag. It was probably nasty and cold by now.
“No. just, no.” I said
We walked in silence, with the only noise being his chewing, but even that became silence.
“So you done being emo depressy-pants?” He said, getting a hearty laugh from me.
“What do you think?” I said
“That you so owe me one” He replied
“damnit! Not again. I haven’t owed anyone in a while, I knew something like that would happen.” I said. I hated owing people simply because it means that you were indebted to them. It just was not a good feeling.
“Relax, just get me a some fries or something.” He said, chuckling at the fact that my buttons could be pushed so easily.
We walked over to my apartment. He didn’t come in on account of having to study for a quiz I would have to take tomorrow also. I opened the door with my eyes closed, ready to relax. I walked in, opening my eyes.
I saw the one thing I didn’t want at the moment. Had I seen it any time else, I would have accepted this with open arms, but this was the worst time. I saw Colgate, a blue rose, the same blue rose that I left on her doorstep weeks ago, on her head. She was fine at first, but when our eyes met she began to cry. She wrapped her hooves around my neck and through her tears whispered “I’m so… so sorry, I… Shouldn’t have… done that.”
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I have been shunning all schoolwork for this. I kinda went... off schedule. that was supposed to be the conclusion in the original plan, but it's not done yet. So much more is going to happen.
"I'm so sorry, I never should have done that to you." Colgate said, choking on her tears. Though she had probably been fine before I came home, she was now unleashing torrential tears. I was in shock. I didn't know what to think. On one side, I had unmatchable joy. I was with my soul mate once more. On the other side, she had betrayed me. She left me alone, to waste away. Didn't she understand how much I loved her? Didn't she care? Does she think that we can pick up where we left off? Does she know the pain, the misery, the suffering she has caused me?
"Before you go any further. Why? Why did you leave me? I was wondering if I had been doing something wrong this whole time and you finally got sick of it." I said, parting from the embrace. She stumbled her way to the couch, where I stood across from her.
"The spark was gone. It wasn't magic when we were together. In the start, it was like we galloping through the stars, but at the end, it felt... plain, generic, normal. I never fully left you, I just wanted to take a break for a few weeks. But you never showed up anywhere. I couldn't find you. I couldn't go to your house. I felt horrible, as if I had stabbed my best friend and left them to die." Colgate said, the words falling over themselves as she spat them out between tears.
As I heard these words, I realized that she would have came back if I had let her. I had fulfilled my own prophesy. I was the asshole. I was the jerk.
"It's not your fault. I never let you." I said, telling her of my revelation. Her tears slowed down enough so she could say a quivering sentence.
"What do you mean?" Colgate
"I was caught up in misery. I rarely left home or did anything. I let you be miserable. I swear, I'll never do that to you again. But first, you have to promise to talk about problems instead of... this." I said, bargaining for what I had lost. I didn't know what I was doing, but I did know why. I wanted Blue back.
"Do you think we can pick up?" She said, rubbing her red eyes, apparently out of tears.
"No... let's just start over." I said, hugging her.
Parting from the hug, she said "Hi, I'm Colgate"
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the next morning.
"dude, because your feeling better, I got some of Joe's donuts!" I said, fruitlessly trying to wake Ember up. Ember was a heavy sleeper, only breaking from the slumber when his alarm that shakes the bed goes off.
I walked over to the kitchen, setting 13 donuts in a box on the counter. I walked into the living room, but to no avail. I tried the bedroom, seeing Ember and Colgate snuggling, not yet awoken from the slumber.
"Somehow, I'm not suprised. His horrible luck always plays." I said.
Colgate mumbled in her sleep in response to what I said and knowing her, it was something along the sarcastic lines of "Blackjack".
Leaving the room and heading back to the kitchen, I looked for a pad of paper to leave a message with.
After scribbling a barely legible message, I took a donut and left the apartment. Something told me they wouldn't be asleep for long. As I readjusted his bag so that the weight was more evenly distributed, I heard thunks from the other side of the wall.
"Blue, there's donuts." Ember said
"Yummy." Colgate said.
"Back to third wheelin'" I said
"How did these get here?" Colgate said, enjoying a donut.
"Does this face look like it cares?" Ember said, recieving a laugh from Colgate.
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"So you two are back to normal?" Diamond said. We were at Hayburger King, munching on fries and hayburgers. At one point, we had an eat-off here. I lost, but that's only because I tried to beat him by 3 burgers and ended up puking. I nodded in replience to his question.
"I'm glad you're happy, but are you sure that's good?" Diamond said. I nearly beat the shit out of him right then and there.
"What the fuck are you trying to say?"
"Her love is your drug. Think about it. You went through a withdrawal when you two split apart. You are really happy when you are getting your dose of her love." Diamond said
"Shut the fuck up." I said, getting angry. "She is the best thing that has happened to me."
"What about me? I'm your best friend! Doesn't that matter? When things went heavy, I was there to help you lift. I have always been by your side, so can't you just listen to me for one fucking moment." Diamond said, his voice getting louder and louder.
"Excuse me! If you two are going to shout, you need to get out. There are children here." A pony with a manager pin said.
"Fine" I said, teleporting the both of us out and to my apartment.
"If she is a drug, then how come I recovered? It was her that came back, not me! Drugs don't come back. I was over it, I could have never seen her face again and been fine. I could have spoken to her and be fine." I said, getting pissed off about what he was saying.
"UNDERSTAND ME! I'm trying to help you. I don't want you to get hurt again. You don't understand how scary it was to see you literally drop everything. You weren't yourself." Diamond said.
"I understand what you're saying perfectly fucking well." I said using a harsh voice filled with venom. "If you really wanted me to get better, you would let me learn from my mistakes, not spoon-feeding them to me."
"IF I REALLY CARED ABOUT YOU, I WOULD NOT LET THIS HAPPEN AGAIN! There was no lesson to learn the first time, and there's no lesson this time. I'm not saying break it off with her, I'm just saying that you should be very careful. I know you. You may hurt yourself next time. I don't want to see that." Diamond said, trying to calm the situation down by the end. He didn't know how close I was to killing myself the first time. Or maybe he did, that was why he said it.
"I am being careful. I am taking it slow. We agreed that we would start over."
"I dropped donuts off and you two were in bed together, who knows what you two did that night? What's that for taking it slow? For being careful?" Diamond said
"We didn't do anything! Besides, what the hell were you doing in my house?" I said
"You gave me a key and told me to come over whenever I wanted. I was trying to do something kind, to celebrate." Diamond said
"Ge-"
"Mares come and go, but family lasts forever. We are family. I don't care what any damn birth certificate says, we are family." Diamond interrupted me.
"Get o-"
"I have done everything for you, now would you just li-"
"GET OUT!" I shouted, no longer wanting to hear his words. They were too perfect, made too much sense, but it contradicted my beliefs. I knew how this worked. The seed had been planted, and doubt is the only plant that could emerge. If I got him away, there would be nobody to tend to this seedling of hell.
"I know what you're thinking. I'm not trying to push you apart, I'm trying to make sure you don't get hurt again. I've already lost you once, I'm not going to lose you again. I'm leaving now, but I want you to remember what I said. I don't want to see you hurt." Diamond said. He waited a moment for me to say something, but when I didn't he sighed in disgust and left the apartment.
"Everything was going so perfect."
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I sat down on my bed, ready to write. I picked up my feather and dipped it into the inkwell and I wrote. I decided to write a theory. A theory about life. And so I began.
"Life: My Theory on What Life is
In life, there are ups and there are downs. We all know this. No one has had everything go right just as no one has had a life go all wrong. If you see all good events as a number from 1-10, 1 being the least exciting and 10 being the most, and then you see bad events as a negative number playing by the rules for a positive event except with negative numbers, then add all of the numbers together, you will notice that almost undoubtedly you will come out with a negative number. That is where I get the base of my theory. Or this equation is the result of much thought of my theory.
In life, there are good things and bad things. The key to dealing with bad things is accepting that bad things happen, that everything will go wrong eventually. How to deal with good things is to not get too attached to them. They don't last forever and if you get to attached, you will constantly pull towards this one event, throwing everything towards it, not caring about what you lose as long as" I stopped writing. I understood what he was saying. It made sense. I was just throwing everything at Colgate and I ended up with her, but how long would that last? I had lost nearly everything and lost what mattered most. I just hope he was willing. No, he was willing. He understood. It didn't matter how much I studied, I would never be as wise as Diamond.
"I've been so horrible. Is this all it really takes? Just to write a theory on life and get sidetracked from the main idea. It can't be that fucking simple. It's never simple." I said, complaining about how easy it was.
Should I go now? Or tomorrow? I asked of myself. I knew I would never come to an agreement with myself.
I laid down on my bed, where a lay awake for the next few hours. Staring at the clock as it ticked the time away, I felt myself slip away near 5. Before I slept, I came to decision. Talk to him tomorrow.
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I got ready for the day, brushing my teeth, then combing my main just to ruin it by shaking my head to wake up. I got my saddlebag on and walked to school. Teleporting was too off-putting to me and I couldn’t manage many distances because the strain on the mind was hard for me and the change in environment threw me off.
I approached the gaping doors that welcomed thousands daily. I knew where Diamond would be. He was in the library in the mornings, never breaking from his pattern.
I went to where he normally sat, but I did not see him. Or did he not want to see me?
I headed to Science Class which was taught by Mrs. Light, a former student of the school. I sat down in the back corner, hoping that Diamond would sit back here, but once the class settled, I saw that he was seated in the front.
“You’re back Ember. I have a full list of homework I expect to see on my desk by Friday. I shouldn’t give you even that, but I know that things go wrong in life.“ Mrs. Light said
“Thank you Mrs. Light.“ I said
After class ended, Diamond disappeared from the class, using his wings to propel him away.
"Math Class. He can’t avoid me there“ I said
Getting to math class, I felt a great relief to see him in his usual spot, behind Colgate. They didn't speak or look at each other.
I sat down next to Diamond, who didn't even look up.
"You were right." I said "I'm sorry." Colgate looked back at me, wondering if I was talking to her. She saw that I was looking at Diamond and looked back to her paper.
"I just didn't want you to get hurt, I hope you know that." Diamond said
"How was he going to get hurt?" Colgate said, once again turning her attention over to the conversation.
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Sorry about the abrupt ending, I just don't know how to continue it from that point. More will be up... eventually.