Der Metzger Herr Messer

I stood up and fixed my coat. I rubbed my face and took a deep breath. The floor of my room bore a bright pink ribbon tossed across the wooden links. I cringed hard and took a few seconds to collect myself. I sighed heavily, what was left of my scratchy voice echoed about as I suffered the deep pain in my throat.

I stepped out of my room and down my plain beige hall towards my kitchen. I slipped through the still plain apartment and into the dusty cream colored kitchen. I slowly wandered over to a bleach white card table and pulled out a folding chair. I sat down with a loud creak and rested my cheek against my palm. I let my fingers rub up across the side of my face and sighed.

"..." I made a strange noise of agitation and pinched my brow.

A soft set of steps slowly creeped up behind me. "Good morning."

I didn't turn around, I just sat there rubbing my forehead. Aryanne walked around by my side and looked up at me. She said nothing and lowered her head. "It doesn't feel good, does it?" She walked around the table and sat in the seat across from me. She wore just about as shameful a look as I was probably wearing. "I'm sorry...."

I huffed and leaned back in my chair. I grabbed the edge of my table and let my fingers press hard into the cheap plastic. I relaxed and went slack. I could see the smear in her lipstick, and it sent a deep weight into my gut. Her tail was tucked between her legs, it only added to the shame washing over me.

I took a deep breath and stood up. I walked over to the grocery list on my fridge door and took a scrap. I walked back over to the mare and wrote down one question. Why?

The mare looked at the note. "Your writing is beautiful...." She looked up at me, bright blue eyes buckling under my stare. She looked away and sank into her seat. "I don't know. You didn't turn me down."

I sat back down and ran my thumb across my tattoo. I took a deep breath and looked at the table. I cleared my throat and looked up at the ashamed mare. She looked up at me and nodded. "Should I leave?"

I shook my head gently and rubbed my brow.

Aryanne's frown remained. "What happens next?"

I ran my tongue across the inside of my lower lip and popped my eyebrows up. I stood and went over to my coffee machine. The process was utterly silent aside from the gravelly pour of coffee into a filter. And when the water started to drip through, it was deafening. I stared at the girl from my spot by the counter. "Lukas." My voice was completely torn and each breath caused a deep burning pain in my throat, but I got the word out. I rubbed my throat, the deep scars running from my chest to my neck felt old and smoothed out over time.

Aryanne sighed through her nose and laid her head against my table. "You're an animal, regardless of what happens." She stood up and walked up to me. She pressed her chest against my lap and stared angrily at me. She went quiet and nuzzled my stomach with her chin. "...I'm sorry...." She let out a soft whimper and pressed herself against me. "I'm sorry...."

I cradled the back of her head against my stomach and rubbed the base of her ear. She would call me a pig, she would call me a monster, she would sit and glare at me as I worked, yet she would come back every night from here on in, like a mare addicted to poison, and I would stand like a man with nothing left to do but try and steer her away from the cursed life she was trying to emulate with that mark on her side.

The coffee dripped noisily into the pot as Aryanne cried against my stomach.