All seven girls (And tortoise) sit in a circle, holding cards "... I bet two pistachios" Rainbow says, sliding the legumes forward.

Babs grins "Ah call ya bet, an' raise ya three."

Applebloom and Silver fold.

Diamond smiles "I stand."

Scootaloo and Sweetie nod in unison.

"Okay chumps, show 'em"

Scootaloo and Rainbow place their cards behind them and pull their shirts up.

"Not like that, ya morons!" Applebloom yells.

Both girls reluctantly lower their shirts and reveal their hands.

"Two pairs." Scootaloo says.

"Three of a kind." Rainbow says, grinning.

Sweetie grins "Flush!"

Diamond frowns "Darn, all I have is this... four of a kind!! All aces."

Tank taps the floor and shows his cards. Royal flush.

Everyone groans, the tortoise's pile of nuts almost as tall as his body.

"How on earth are we losin' to a turtle?!" Silver yells, running her fingers through her hair.

"Tortoise!" Rainbow yells, rubbing his shell affectionately "He's got an awesome poker face."

Babs nods "In dat he don't move 'is face at all, den yeah."

Applebloom grins "Yeah, he may be slow on foot but he sure is fast in smarts."

Silver yawns "How long has the generator been going?"

Sweetie checks her watch "About ten hours... which exceeds my expectations by at least six. I mean, the field generator is supposed to be energy efficient but not like this!"

Diamond cocks her head "Isn't that good? That means that when it's in use it'll be useful for hiding for long periods."

Sweetie shakes her head "I know, but it doesn't work when in motion so... what could be causing it to last longer?"

"Ah'm no smarty pants, but from wha' I understand, th' capacitors are all in a single connected circle wit' opposin' poles every other one, meanin' dat ya may have accidentally created a storin' power source dat creates an oscillatin' series of charges dat rather den bein' lost, are slowly discharged as energy from th' engine is captured by the capacitors pushes 'em out. But ya'd need a great way ta disperse th' heat."

Sweetie nods numbly "How... how do you know all that?"

"Degree in robotics and electrical engineering. My dad made me get it when ah was 13."

Silver rolls her eyes "Unfortunately. She could be using her energy and mind to making machines and the like but instead uses it to get herself shot at."

Babs grins "It helps me get in an' out of high security places."

Silver groans "Yes. She's stolen weapons, rations, experimental technology, and somehow, what looks like a functioning space ship."

Sweetie cocks her head "What model?"

"Uh... SP-SC 062 ah think."

Sweetie grins "That's the Rolls-Royce of space vessels!!"

Diamond shrugs "I'd prefer a type 40 but that's just me."

Rainbow scoffs "Why explore space when there's so much to find under the water? I mean, we could find Atlantis! Merpeople!"

"Aliens!" Scootaloo pipes up "Tiny glowing red eyes floating in the abyss that are monitoring humanity..."

Silver groans "Why is it that I'm the only one who isn't crazy, a nerd, or both?"

Applebloom shrugs "Personally, ah don't listen so much as spit back out what ah did understand. Works easier than actually listenin' an' understandin'"

Silver sighs "That works for you and- hey!"

Scootaloo grabs Silver's glasses and puts them on "Hey, I can see out of these... I thought these were prescription."

Silver takes them "They don't have lenses. They're just for show. Guys find glasses attractive so I wear them without lenses. I wear contacts for my vision."

Diamond snorts "And you call me the otaku. Next you'll have a pony tai- ha! You already have one! Oh my gosh, you're a walking kawaii meme!"

Sweetie giggles "She totally is! All she needs is a nekomata or something and she'll have every anime fan in the state swooning!"

VP Luna looked up from her multiplex movie screen, a girl riding on an electric guitar paused midflight "I... I have the sudden feeling... that I need to get to Ponyville..."

Silver glares at them "I am not cute!"

Diamond clutches her chest "MY HEART!"

Applebloom rolls her eyes "Drama queen."

Babs shrugs "I'm gonna go get some beer."

Rainbow stands "I'll take you, I'm of drinking age."

"So am I." Babs replies

Rainbow laughs "You're not twenty one!"

Babs roll her eyes and produces an ID "I'm four years older den th' others, dat's why I have so many guns."

Rainbow turns to Silver "She telling the truth?"

Silver nods "She's really young looking."

Rainbow shrugs "'At's cool. I need to go into town to get a new tracksuit and exercise my everything. Maybe I'll do free diving"

Scootaloo grins "And I can spot you! I'll go get the anchor and the stuck cast iron locks and chains!!"

Silver stares at Applebloom "Shouldn't you stop her?"

Sweetie shrugs "I'm going to go too, I have my submarine."

Applebloom grins "See? Nothin' to worry about."

Applebloom lays back in her bed, tired "Chores after tryin' to keep my friends alive... takes a lot outta me..."

Applejack walks in and lays next to her "What were they doin' this time?"

"Divin' off the pier, seein' how far down they can go before needin' air."

Applejack groans "Why are most of our friends complete morons?"

"Scootaloo is Rainbow's lil' sis. Ah don't know about the others though"

Applejack hums in thought "Pinkie's Pinkie Pie, Twilight is pretty smart, so's Rarity an' Flutters. Rainbow's as smart as a sack of mashed taters, an' I'm only good with practical things..."

Applebloom sighs "Same here, Babs is super smart apparently, Diamond is a... she's smart ah think. Sweetie's prolly in that club Big Mac's in, what's it called? MENSA?"

Applejack nods "For th' really smart, like Twilight Smart an' more."

"Silver is... ah'm not exactly sure, she might be like Twilight an' just book smart, an' Scoots is smart when she needs to be, which is avoidin' police or somethin'. An' me? Ah'm just like you sis, practical."

Applejack, grins "Eeyup, that's us Apple girls, practical an' meant to stand up to nature."

"An what about Apple boys?"

"Loud an' strong... or quiet an' strong like Big Mac."

Scootaloo sputters, sticky with sweat "Who's bright idea was it to drink booze upside down?

"Yours" Babs replies, reclining on a bench.

Sweetie shrugs, drinking her tea "I told you that it wouldn't work. But does anyone listen to Sweetie Belle? Noooo..."

Scootaloo swings and dismounts from the tree branch "I listen, but you're usually telling me I'll get hurt and I don't like that negative attitude."

Rainbow sets up a number of bottles in a row "Okay, who thinks I can knock all of these down without missing?"

Babs and Scootaloo raise their hands, Sweetie and Silver ignore the spectacle and hope there aren't any hospital visits.

"So... are you and Babs a thing?" Sweetie asks out of the blue, causing Silver to choke on her spit.

"Wh-what?! What makes you think that?" Silver asks, her face flush.

Sweetie shrugs "Well, You and her have been living together for a few years... she's a cool person and you look like the type who would enjoy the company of rough and tumble types like Babs."

Silver removes her glasses and rubs between her eyes "No... we're just friends and that's beside the point considering we're both straight."

Sweetie sniffs Silver's hair and skin "Uh... what the hell are you doing?"

"Smelling your pheromones... grassy... okay, I believe you!"

Silver stares "What? Of course I smell like grass, we're in a grassy park!"

Sweetie shakes her head "I know, but straight girls smell like freshly mowed grass... or earthy."

"And you base this on...?"

"Science and biological research. It's true! Now... Scoots! What does Babs' pheromones smell like?!"

Scootaloo pauses her cheering and sniffs Babs's shoulder, much to the girl's confusion "Burnt leaves!"

Sweetie smiles conspiratorially "She's Bi."

Silver closes her book "How did you come across this... olfactory system of orientation?"

Sweetie regales her with the history, and Babs stares at Silver "Whattaya think dey're talkin' 'bout?"

Scootaloo shrugs "Probably about how you're bisexual... or how I was able to smell it."

Babs blushes "Wh-what'reya talkin' about?! I ain't..." Scootaloo turns her towards Silver Spoon, deep in conversation with Sweetie and Babs' blush deepens "I... uh... muh..."

Scootaloo pulls her head back around, frowning "Sorry to say but... she's straight as an arrow."

Babs sighs, biting her thumb "I know... she told me when I first moved in wit' her."

Rainbow sits on the other side of Babs, concerned "What happened?"

Babs sighs "It was a year an' a half ago..."

Apartment mate needed
Must be a straight female at least 18 years or older, must split rent, and have steady employment.
Further restrictions and rules can be inquired upon showing up at the following address: ...

Babs shrugged, cases to her side as she looked up at the relatively tall building "Well, ain't got time to gawk."

After a number of flights of stairs, Babs knocked on the last door of the top floor "Hey! I'm here 'bout the ad!"

Several locks click and a slit between the door and the frame opened, three sturdy looking chains still locked in place "Oh? I was about to remove the ad since no one answer- Babs? Babs Seed?"

Babs nodded slowly "Do I know ya?"

The door closes and the sound of the chains moving and dropping followed by the door reopening.

Standing in the doorway is a slender, pale girl with thick light blue glasses and silver hair held in a braided ponytail Babs rubs her forehead and claps her hands as the name comes to her "Silver Spoon right?"

Silver nods "It's good to see you! I had meant to see if you wanted to hang but I kept putting it off, thinking you'd be pissed at me for what happened in Ponyville.."

Babs shakes her head "Nah, we're cool. We was kids then an' as far as I'm concerned, it never happened. So you th' one who put out th' ad?"

Silver nods and beckons Babs in "Yeah, I just arrived here about a week ago. Well, in this apartment. I just got a job at the college of art but unfortunately, the school doesn't pay for rent unless they garnish your paycheck so... I needed someone to share the rent."

Babs shrugs "S'cool. Anyways, why did ya want a straight girl anyways? Seemed like a predator thing to do."

Silver grins nervously "To be honest... I noticed that when they first ran it... I tried to change it but they wouldn't let me."

Babs grins "Guess I don't need dese right now." She pulls a .38 a .22 out of her back pockets "Boss lady says ta never leave home widout a piece or two."

Silver stares at the guns with a mix of curiosity and disbelief "Those are police issue... how-"

Babs walks over to the couch "I work fer a PI. She's th' kinda type from those... 'No-air'-"

"'Noir'?" Silver corrects.

"Yeah, dose. Don't smoke or drink... well, n'less 'er girlfriend's 'round... den it's time to get out 'cause she ain't got a problem wit' PDAs if ya get me."

Silver shrugs "That's cool. So, down to business. Answer these questions please..."

Babs picks up one of her guns and cocks the hammer, pointing at herself "Shoot."

Silver gives her a flat look "Are you straight?"

Babs nods "Last I checked."

"Do you have a criminal record?"

"Nope, well, never been caught."

Silver raises an eyebrow "Do you have any allergies?"

"Uhhh... 'sides police an' duck dander? None?"

"Duck... dander?" Silver asks skeptically.

"Yup, can't get near waterfowl widout sneezin'." Babs replies calmly "Found dat out when I went back ta Ponyville."

Silver notes this "Last one, do you have any other questions?"

Babs shakes her head "Nah, I'm good. So, when do I move in?"

Silver nods to the bags still in the hall "How about now?"

(Ten days later)

Babs rolls out of bed and walks to the bathroom when a whimper comes from behind the door. Babs slows and looks through the crack in the door and all the blood rushes to her head at the sight within.

Silver, fresh from the shower, sat on the toilet lid and gently fingered herself, stifling her moans by biting on her ponytail that shimmered with saliva and water from the shower. She moaned into her hair as she slipped another finger inside of herself, her blush intensifying as she slowly slipped another- the fourth, Babs noticed- and her hips bucked as she slowed down, obviously denying herself release "Mmmnnhh... th-three..." she moaned weakly, sweat sliding down her glistening skin, catching the light from above the mirror.

Babs bit her lip as she watched, trying to mimic her roommate's delicate movements as best she could.

Silver's hips bucked forward, a short squeak escaping her clenched teeth. Babs moaned too, biting her lip to the point of almost drawing blood.

Silver, oblivious to her audience, shifted forward a little, widening her legs to allow the index and thumb of the other hand spread her slick lips open before slipping, with a groan/scream, her thumb in with the other fingers of her first hand in.

Babs arched her back, slumping to the floor, her own fingers trembling in excitement "H-how... h-her who-whole h-hand??" she stutters silently, her eyes nearly slits as her own delayed climax tried to charge through the wall of her will.

Silver panted in ecstasy, her whole body rigid as the last of her hand slipped in, her slim wrist sticking out of her snatch "H-haaahh..." Slowly she closed her legs around her wrist, jaw open and tongue licking the air.

Babs' tongue slowly wormed its' way out from behind her lips and hung slack on her cheek, eyes glazed in pleasure.

Silver slowly flexed her fingers inside of herself, her other hand fondling her modest chest and she threw her head back, silent moans flowing from her throat as she came, spurring Babs to finish herself off, eyes rolling back and shuddering in pleasure.

Silver sat still before removing her hand "Five... five fingers, five times... now that's a good base line. Okay... can't feel my legs..."

Babs' mind roared to life like an apache helicopter Base line?! That's without raising her stamina?!

Silver groaned as she lifted herself from the toilet "Ugh, I hope I didn't wake Babs up..."

Babs scrambled back to her room, throwing her sheets over herself and pretending to sleep.

She heard the near silent steps of Silver walking past her room "Urgh... good thing today is my day off..." Babs remarked, her legs feeling like lead weights.

"An'... from den on I kept waking up early to try an' catch her doin' it and... she did every other day. It became a ritual, I guess... soon after I started fantasizin' 'bout her stickin' her hand inside me... her long fingers probin' me like one of dose aliens ya read about... her whole arm snakin' up my body an'... what?"

Scootaloo and Rainbow make cutting motions at their necks, slowly stepping away from Babs.

Babs blushed bright red "She's... she's right behind me, ain't she?" she bends her neck back and stares into the brightly blushing face of Silver Spoon "Ahhhh... Fuck me with a rusty knife..."

Silver's face is unreadable, as if unsure to be angry or mortified "You... you... you..."

Babs bows her head, pulling a berretta from her shirt and offers it to Silver "Try not ta kill me..."

Silver shuts her eyes "Why is it always that you want to be shot as punishment?"

Babs grins weakly, her eyes in shadows "I always feel better after shootin' somethin'."

Silver laughs weakly "No... that's because you're a brute... and an idiot... I'm going to go somewhere and think."

Before Babs can stop her, Silver is walking down the park's path, hands in her skirt pockets.

Babs sighs "Ugh... I am a complete and utter Dummkopf..."

Silver sighs, reclining in her secret hidey-hole "I can't believe nobody found this place... It's a pipe castle!"

Sitting on top of a foundation of steel girders planted in the earth, Silver Spoon sat on a throne made of repurposed crates, the water-proof PVC ceiling dark but pristine. The gate, made of bronze and steel piping, stood undisturbed and closed by all but Silver Spoon "I wonder if I should see who built this place..."

The sound of fingers snapping followed by a shocked gasp "What the- what on earth are you doing in my house?!"

Silver looked up at the source of the voice and saw a strange man with yellow eyes and blood red irises of different sizes glaring at her in mischief. On the man was a patchwork of clothing, some looking like they were grabbed from different eras, others that looked like they were old oily rags. The man had unkempt white hair and a raggedy goatee that he stroked while looking at her "Well? Why are you in my house?"

Silver blinked "This is your house? It's a castle made of pipes!"

The man rolls his eyes "And I built it. This is the third great castle of the lord and god of chaos and disorder. I laid the ground work, the foundation, and the walls! All by hand! And do you have any idea how long it too to dig and reinforce the bottomless ball pit of eternal Pink eye?!"

Silver blinks "The what?"

He waves his hand dismissively "Never mind. Anyways, why are you here?"

Silver sighs "I... I found out that my roommate fell in love with me... or maybe the idea of me."

The man sits, a chaise lounge with a confused Persian sitting on it appearing from nowhere. "I understand that kind of situation. In my professional opinion-"

"Are you a doctor?"

"No, I played one on TV though." he replies, grinning "Anyways, she-"

"How did you know it was a she?" Silver asks.

"Because reasons. Anyways, how do you feel about this? Act as if you weren't straight... tell me what you think of her."

Silver pauses "She's... she's got an effortlessly slim figure... she knows how to fix everything we own... and she always has my back no matter what... she's like a sister I guess?"

He strokes his goatee and grins "Well, It sounds like you find her friendship to be well worth the pain of her affection. Would you sever that connection in order to preserve your own conscious? Is that what you want?"

Silver shakes her head "No! I want her to... to stop liking me that much... oh god, I'm a horrible person..."

The man shakes his head, a small frown on his face "No, you are a good person, the fact that you did not strike out against her, berate her, or show disgust. That may mean little to you, but to her, it's a ray of light that she will hang onto. I once became so jealous about my first and best friend befriending someone else that I nearly ended that other person's life... not one of my finest moments, but I learned something that night. Never become jealous of your friends or their friends, and never, EVER act out of disgust or hate. I know that may not be... relevant to your situation, but it's a lesson I've taken to heart. Now, how about you get out of the pipe castle down in the dump, and go and apologize, who knows, it could just be infatuation or... or you may be afraid of reciprocating her feelings. Of hurting her because you don't know what to do... I don't know what will happen, all I know is that you need to go to her."

Silver looks up at him, eyes wide "Who are you?"

He grins mischievously "I am nobody of import. Just a spirit of discord and chaos still learning the intricacies of friendship. Now go, the longer you wait, the more strain she'll endure holding onto that ray of hope."

Silver slides off the pipe throne and nods to the man "Thank you!"

The man grins and snaps his fingers, the lounge and Persian disappearing in a puff of pink smoke "Well, I think this is a good reason to write to Fluttershy." The man snaps his fingers again and a piece of stationary and a ballpoint pen appear in his hands "'Dearest Fluttershy, how are you? I'm doing good and feeling well; I learned the difference when I met a very unique man at a party. I'm actually thinking about getting accordion lessons from Pinkie Pie consequently...'"

Babs polishes her semi-automatic silently on the Boutique floor. Scootaloo grabs her wrist "Babs, stop. You've been polishing the muzzle for an hour now."

Babs doesn't hear and stops, staring at her reflection in the polished metal and sighs, setting it down and picking up the hammer, polishing it.

Scootaloo shrugs "I can't figure out how to get her out of it. I've even tried dumping water on her. She just won't react."

Sweetie sighs "Oh how it must hurt to have a broken heart. I hope I never feel it with anyone..."

Rainbow groans, throwing a book across the room "Ugh, why are girls so dramatic? Why can't they just spit out a tooth, pull up their sissy pants and get back on track?"

Sweetie rolls her eyes "You're a girl too Rainbow."

Rainbow blinks and unzips her track suit, looking between her legs "Huh, when did that happen?"

Sweetie groans and walks over to Babs "Hey, I know it hurts, but you need to move on. I can't begin to imagine what it feels like but I know it's crushing."

Babs ignores her and continues her polishing, silent and unaware.

The door to the boutique opens slowly, a sweaty, pale hand opening it "Babs? Are you here?"

For the first time since she arrived, Babs looked up "Silver?"

Silver Spoon walks in, face flush with sweat "I... I'm sorry I reacted like that..."

Babs shakes her head "No, I'm sorry for doin' it-" Silver holds up a hand "Don't you dare apologize... is there somewhere we can talk privately?"

Sweetie nods "Go to the back room, just mind the spools of fabric."

Both girls walk towards it and when the door closes, Scootaloo and Rainbow grab cups from the kitchen and put them against the door to listen.

Or they would have if Sweetie hadn't used her static pause ray and dragged them out of the boutique "Let's go you two."

Babs rubs her arm nervously "S-so what did ya wanna talk about?"

Silver sighs "I... I wanted to say I'm sorry. You are too dear a friend to reject for something that isn't your fault. I... I'm so, so sorry. If you can ever forgive me..."

Babs steps forward and cups Silver's chin "'Ey, I'm too tough to get hurt by dat... okay, dat's a lie. I was crushed."

Silver's eyes water but Babs wipes at her eyes gently "Now don't ya cry. Ya may look adorable when ya cry, but don't cry over me. I know everythin' 'bout ya... even dat little fetish ya have 'bout original vampires..." she shrugs her jacket off and pulls a butterfly knife from her pocket.

Silver blushes intensely "N-no... don't you da-"

Babs pulls one side of her shirt over her shoulder, exposing her stitched shoulder "I am... why else do ya think th' stitches break so often? I'm-" she turns the blade under the stitches and winces "-Breakin' 'em to get ya close... so I can smell ya... an' ta try an' get used to th' pain but... never do."

Silver watches paralyzed as Babs presses the blade into the exposed skin, drawing blood "First I thought it was sadism... but you like blood, don't ya? You're fascinated by-" Silver jumps and presses her lips onto the wound, her tongue licking hungrily, teeth dragging across it.

Babs winces "Ow... dat feels... kinda nice..."

Silver, lost in her excitement, presses her canines into Babs' shoulder, moaning in ecstasy as the taste of iron sparks on her tongue.

Babs chuckles "Uh... don't drain me... kinda need blood ta live ya know?"

Silver removes her mouth, beads of blood already forming along the cut "I-I'm so sorry! I just..."

Babs grins "Eh, don't matter ta me. I've already came once."

Silver stares at her "What?"

Babs blushes "Uh... I may have read th' same stuff an' imagined myself as th' victim an' you as th' Vamp..."

Silver blinks, blushing nervously "I... but in those most of them..."

"Die? Yeh, I usually stop 'round dat time. So come on, I still got a bit left in me."

Silver cautiously licks up the dripping blood, moaning as she snakes her tongue up, blood pooling on her tongue before stopping at the wound, closing her mouth and digging her canines in again. Babs shudders as she licks up the blood, sucking it hungrily "Uh... glad I chose my shoulder... it'd be weird explainin' th' hickey..."

Silver nods and pulls Babs to a sitting position.

Babs moans, muscles spasming "Uhh... wow... feel.. warmer somehow..."

Silver grins, her eyes glazed with lust.

Diamond Tiara closes her laptop, sending the latest chapter of fanfiction out into the web "Whoo! Another one done!"

Author's Note

Yeah, I'm not dead! (yet)

So this is mostly centered around Babs and Silver, with an appearance by Discord. I figured that Silver would have an odd fetish to counteract her usually normal persona, and I came up with her blood fetish. Kind of deep when you think about it... taking the life of another into yourself.

Anyways, hope you liked it and now I need to go and break a melon with a bat.