Applebloom's body freezes, her brother and sister giving her incredulous looks

Diamond however waves enthusiastically, Sweetie being the only one returning it

Applejack breaks the silence "Ah said be her best friend... not girlfriend..."

Scootaloo shrugs "I think it's cool. This means that we can get super expensive stuff now. What could be bet- HEY!"

Big Mac lifts the smaller girl by the back of her shirt "Shush"

Pouting, Scootaloo raises her arms and falls out of her shirt, grinning "Feel like trying that again Mountain Man?"

Sweetie snorts "Big Mac isn't a man of the mountains, he's a mountain of a man!"

The man in question can't decide whether to be flattered or embarrassed by the girl on his shoulder so he blushes and bites his lip

Applejack sighs "Don't matter what he is. Now please explain what's been going on. because last time ah checked, you two were like... what're two things that don't react well to eachother?" she looks up at her brother

"Water and an alkali?" Sweetie and Big Mac respond in unison

Everyone stares at the pair "Did... did you plan that ahead of time?" Scootaloo asks, still shirtless (and braless)

Sweetie shakes her head "Nope! Great minds think alike"

Applebloom sighs "How come you know what that is off the top of your head, yet you can barely follow what pretty much everyone says?"

Sweetie shrugs "Rarity says I'm special; whatever that means"

Shaking her head, she rolls her wrist "Explain what happened"

Big Mac coughs "Maybe not in th' middle of town?"

Sitting in the apple family living room, Sweetie still perched on Big Mac's shoulder and drinking a box of juice

Applebloom inhales "Ah'm not sure how to explain what happened... ah guess it started last night when ah got a text from Diamond-"

Diamond looks up from a book left on the floor "I think I can tell it, no offense but I'm the one who did most of the talking and leading"

Applebloom nods, motioning for her to speak

"Like Applebloom said, I texted her that I had a cracked rib-" Applebloom winces "- and that I was okay otherwise. She said that you wanted her to be my best friend and I thought that she was asking me out-" she pauses "No... further back..."

Applejack groans "This is gonna be a long story ain't it?"

Sweetie nods "Most likely"

"After Applebloom knocked me out, I had a dream where she humiliated me, called me a cow and roughed me up several times. At her instruction, I got down on my hands and knees, my shirt and bra torn off by her and she began to milk my breasts-"

Big Mac stands up abruptly, walking out of the room, having forgotten Sweetie belle was on his shoulder

Sweetie's head hit the top of the door frame, falling back but still sitting on his shoulder, looking at everyone upside down "I'm okay!"

Everyone blinks "... Ah'm askin' Rarity what's wrong with her. She cannot be that airheaded yet be smarter than me at her age"

Diamond coughs "Anyways, shortening the dream I had, I found out that I enjoyed being humiliated by her. Then I woke up. Big Mac and Gold came in and we left after going to the clinic to get me checked out.

"Then I texted Applebloom and like I said, I thought she was asking me out. When she asked me if I wanted her to be, I said yes before losing my nerve and ending the conversation.

"I called my friend Silver Spoon and told her my dream and she said that 'The greatest love stems from the greatest hate'"

Applejack nods, muttering "What kind of dumb-ass love is that?"

Applebloom nods "Ah know, she texted me too, explaining what she thought and said some kind of nonsense about my shoes. It was about this time that Scoots decided to break into my room"

"You leave the window open, that's pretty much an open do- OW!" She grips her head, steam seeming to rise from it

Applejack looks down at the cringing girl "Ah've heard the exact same shit from Rainbow. Don't bring that perverted logic up again"

"Makes sense to me. I mean, she could have been a robber, you just need to have the habit of closing windows. It's not her fau-OW!" Applejack uppercuts the tanned athlete without blinking "You hush up too feather-head"

Diamond blinks "You know, I could give you the name of a security contractor so that this doesn't happen again. Heck, I'm sure my dad would pay for it himself"

Applejack smiles "Nah, we got a good system already, 'Punch first, then if they ain't down, punch and kick some more'"

Rainbow jumps and lands on her butt, legs crossed "Trust me, the system works. I can tell you that from exper-OW! What did I do?!"

"That's fer fillin' Scootaloo's head with yer nonsense" She slams her fist on both the girl's heads "That's fer nothin' so watch out*"

Both girls grit their teeth, trying not to tear up

Diamond shakes her head "Does this happen often?"

Applejack smirks "Let's put it this way, th' day aint complete 'less a feather-head is punched"

Rainbow winces "It's sad but true, last week she came into my house at like ten in the evening just to clock me"

"That's cause y'all raided mah refrigerator! An' stole a bottle of Mac's cookin' wine!"

Rainbow shrugs "A rip-off is what it was, tasted like that stuff Rarity drinks except sour"

Diamond coughs "May we continue our story?"

Bonking Rainbow and Scootaloo again, she nods

"After wrestlin' my phone from Scoots, ah got another text from Diamond sayin' that she was sorry for all those years she had been mean to me, said that she loved me an' that she wanted to pay me back for all the things she'd done. Then Sweetie came up and we talked for a few minutes until Scoots decided to regale us with one of her stories of drunken nights"

"So? I get drunk every Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday!" once again she receives a fist to her head

"Durin' the story Sweetie fainted and after Scoots made us watch one of her horrible porn movies-"

"Hey! I thought it was great!" Rainbow yells, dodging the oncoming fist "Hah! Missed me hayse-Urf" Applejack punches her, before making her sit up right "Stop talkin' less' ya got somethin' of importance"

"She apparently carried us to bed, ah havin' fallen asleep durin' the movie. Sweetie was still out cold so she put us both in my bed and slept on the floor

"Ah woke up the next morning and got another text from Diamond an' after Scoots took Sweetie to go meet with Rumble, ah suggested that we meet at Sugarcube corner where Scoots thought it was a good idea to spy on us from a bare tree.

After movin' out of sight, me and Diamond talked for a while, got some milkshakes-"

"I think you need to get your friend Pinkie checked out. She seems... eeehhhh..." Diamond shivers, lacking a word to describe what she saw

"We tried. She's just Pinkie Pie, and that's all there is to know"

Diamond nods slowly "Okay... I said that I would show her the gym I worked out at and after that we were walking and I started thinking about books I like and Applebloom was thinking about how pretty I am"

Both girls blush, Rainbow and Scootaloo silently fist bumping before receiving matching fists to their heads

"Ah was just wonderin' what ya'll were thinkin' about in that pretty little head of yours!" she blushes more "N-not that I thought you were pretty before- I mean you are! You are pretty! An'... please feel free to stop me"

Applejack nods slowly "That's when we saw ya... okay, so in th' span of less than a day, y'all went from punchin' and kickin' to huggin' and kissin'? I only know one person who can even begin to explain how that works, an' ah'm constantly dodgin' her traps so... to make sure ah don't come back covered in make up and glitter, ah'm takin' these two with me" she wraps both arms under the sitting girls' arms and carries them like someone would a barrel under their arm

"... Does super strength run in your family like the speed force?"

Applebloom blinks "th' what force?"

Diamond shakes her head "Sorry, something from a book" That was a close one, don't want her thinking I'm a dork... which I am, I am the undisputed queen of the nerds in several cities but still, don't need her to know that

Applebloom stares at her friend "You're not tellin' me somethin'..."

Diamond jumps "N-never mind! Want to go watch them get beautiful?"

Applebloom grins "Of course"

When they arrive, Rainbow and Scootaloo are strapped into chairs, Rarity wearing a white apron and lab coat, her hair pulled back into a bun, her usual glasses replaced by fashionable goggles.

"What is she supposed to be? The newest edition to S.T.A.R. labs?" Diamond asks

Applebloom once again stares at her friend "What are you talkin' about?"

"N-nothing! I'm not saying anything!"

Applebloom sighs "You know ah'll figure it out anyways right?"

Rarity turns, the girls' reflection in the goggles staring back at them "Hello girls, I'm a bit busy so unless you want to watch me operate, I'd suggest coming back tomorrow, It might take me all day to finish this. Maybe longer"

Rainbow's eyes roll "Yeah right! Applejack will free us when she leaves! Right Applejack?"

"You'll never get away with this Doctor Strange! I have something you don't, allies" Batman says, struggling to escape

Applejack grins, her eyes half open "Oh no, ah don't want to ruin this very delicate procedure. Continue Doctor Belle"

The Scarecrow grins down at the two of them, grinning under his burlap mask "Oh please continue with the examination doctor. I wish to see what they fear!"

Rarity smiles "Thank you Applejack, I was hoping that one of my traps would catch the dynamic duo, but it seems that my friends would deliver them wrapped up like Christmas presents!" She lifts a leg up and squeals "This is what I've been waiting for! The chance to work on these two! Let's see what's under that mask of yours, shall we Dashgirl?"

"Thank you Doctor Crane, I will see that I keep my end of the deal. You may have allies, but you also have more enemies! And to think that none of my traps could catch you, when I should have waited for one of my allies to deliver you two wrapped like Christmas presents!" Doctor strange grins at the struggling pair, their faces reflected in his glasses "This is what I've been waiting for my entire career, to finally see how the dynamic duo works!"

He looks down at the captured heroes, his grin still as wide as ever "And now let's see what's under that mask of yours, shall we Batman?

"No! Someone! Anyone! Help!" Scootaloo yells, writhing in her seat

"Oh be quiet you, I have special plans for you, oh faithful sidekick" Rarity says, smiling wickedly at Scootaloo

"You'll lose just like you always do. We may not have any allies here, but we are strong enough to beat you ourselves" Robin says, calm as a cucumber

"Be silent you child! I have a special 'Treatment' in mind for flightless Aves like yourself" Strange says, returning his attention to Batman

Applebloom waves her hand at her dazed friend, her eyes unfocused "Hello? Diomond? Ya in there?"

A worried looking Poison Ivy waves a hand in front of Magpie "Wait, Magpie was taken down a long time ago, and why would Ivy work with a guy like Strange? She'd want to torture Batman herself" Diamond mutters under her breath, the trance broken

Applebloom snaps her fingers, Diamond blinking several times "What? What happened to my comic book?"

"Comics?" Applebloom asks, Diamond's face heating up at the close proximity

"Uh, I said coronets! I thought I had coronets in my bag" Diamond says, leaning closer for a kiss

Applebloom shrugs "Haven't the slightest clue what those are an' don't wanna know. Come on, we don't wanna miss the show!"

After several hours of screaming and hollering, Rainbow and Scootaloo slump in the chairs, sweaty and exhausted

Rarity smiles sweetly "Feeling better having gotten rid of all that energy?"

Rainbow looks up and spits on Rarity's goggles "Screw... you... in the ear..."

Rarity shrugs, pulling the angry woman's shirt and off and wiping off her glasses, Rainbow clad in only a sweaty sports bra "Give me back my shirt!"

The elegant doctor shakes her head "I'm afraid that such an abhorrent article of clothing must be disposed of as hazardous waste. Oh Assistant~"

Spike walks out from the back room, a similar get up on "Yes my love?"

Applejack shakes her head "Still can't believe that Spike got Rarity's heart... this world don't make sense no more"

Kissing his cheek, she points to the shirt "Be a dear and bring the hazmat bin"

He walks away and returns to with a bright red barrel which the shirt is dropped into

Diamond stares at them, her eyes glazing over again

Thank you Kronk. Now stand to the side while I do evil"

"Riiiiight..." Kronk says, walking away

She shakes her head If she says 'Pull the lever' I'm gonna die

"And when you get done with it all, remember to put it down the chute and pull the lever to activate the incinerator" Rarity says, the tall, muscular man saluting

That's it, Imma gonna die now Diamond falls onto her back, laughing uncontrollably

Both Apples stare at the laughing girl, clutching her sides with tears going down her face "Is she gonna be okay?"

"From what ah understand, Diamond has a weird brain that makes her lose focus and say weird things. I think she just watches too much TV" Applebloom says, starting to get used to the girl's outbursts

Scootalo pants, her own shirt damp with sweat "Are... are we going to die Rainbow?"

Rainbow grins, trying to look cool "No way Squirt, We've got a friend coming to get us any minute now..."

As if on cue, Pinkie slams the door open, wearing a bright red spandex suit with "P!" on the chest, her hair standing on end with a lighting bolt going up it, and blue skin "Your torture of my friends ends now! And we'll get to the fight scene right after this message folks!"

The author is in no way responsible for nostalgia and asphyxiation caused by the references so far in this chapter
Seriously, We at Madcat comics and stories©®Ω♂♀☺♥♦♣♠ do not want any law suits, unlawsuits, business suits, casual suits, leisure suits, pan suits, pinstriped, or otherwise. We also do not want to be sued, sown, suede (Unless it's our blue shoes, in which case, we're cool with that), hemmed, reamed, patched, stitched, quilted, knitted, folded, spindled, bent, or anything else.

If you want to sue someone, Go after Spielberg, he's got lawyers so good that they might as well be cartoons (Trust us, we know)

And for the trouble of reading this message, I have picture of some boobies

Have a wonderful day and remember, we are not responsible.

AT. ALL.

Rarity gives the girl an incredulous look "What in the name of fashion are you wearing?"

She grins wider, and pulls back a gloved fist and punches the chair Rainbow is stuck in, denting it

Rarity gasps "How did you dent Titanium?! That's not possible!"

Pinkie grins and jumps over to Scootaloo's chair, winding back her fist when she is cut off by Spike with a pole "Oooo! Are we gonna fight? Are we gonna fight? Huh huh huh?!?!?!" she asks, jumping up and down

"I guess we are..." Spike says, thrusting the pole towards Pinkie

She pulls a banana out, one hand behind her back, chest puffed out "Bye bye!" she squeezes the end of the banana, the soft fruit splattering over his goggles, blinding him. Pinkie throws the peel under his feet, Spike flipping in the air before landing on his back

"Ooohh..." he groans

"Spike!" Rarity gasps, her face turning from concern to anger "You. Will. PAY!" her lab coat rips open, crystals from around the boutique flying towards her, giving her a giant pair of hands and feet that make her look like something right out of a video game "En garde!"

Pinkie looks at the towering woman covered in crystals, a smile on her face "OOOOOO!!! Neato! Can I have a High five?" she lifts her hand

Rarity grins, "Yes you can my dear" Pulling her hand back, she smashes Pinkie, but the blue girl quickly jumped up to Rarity's face

"Too high!" she chirps

Rarity swats at Pinkie with her other hand, the girl pulling out a giant iron weight and plummets, the weight falling on Rarity's foot "Too low!"

Roaring in pain and frustration, Rarity tries to sandwich the girl between her hands, but Pinkie dodged and runs up Rarity's arm and grabs her face "Kissy smoochie time!"

Rarity tries to pull the girl off, but Pinkie holds on, Kissing Rarity's forehead before head-butting her, the crystals falling apart as Rarity loses consciousness

After freeing Scootaloo she salutes and runs away, making "Whooshing" noises as she does

Applebloom stares at her friend who giggles before blinking "Wh-Where'd Pinkazoid go?"

Applejack inches away from Diamond, Applebloom offering a hand "Y'all had one of your distant moments..."

Diamond blushes, accepting the offered hand "S-Sorry, overactive imagination..."

Applebloom shrugs "It's cool, so what was that muttering about?"

"Uhhh... I imagined Pinkie Pie as a cartoon character and she beat up Spike and Rarity before freeing Rainbow and Scootaloo... Pretty stupid huh?"

Applebloom blinks "Uhhh... that is what happened"

Diamond sits up, taking in the carnage of the store

Spike staring at the ceiling in a daze, Rarity unconscious, nude, and covered in a few crystals, and Rainbow and Scootaloo massaging their wrists

Diamond rubs her eyes, the scene not changing in the least "I... I need to lay down... carry me"

Applejack chokes, laughing at Diamond "Ah'm not carryin' ya"

Diamond shakes her head "I meant Applebloom"

The girl in question blushes bright red "M-me?! Why would ah..."

Diamond pouts, holding her arms out

Must... stay... strong... Applebloom thinks to herself, steeling her nerve

"Please?"

GOD DAMNIT! Sighing, she lifts Diamond, the girl throwing her arms around Applebloom's neck

"Thank you" Diamond coos, nuzzling Applebloom's chest Huh, she doesn't smell like apples...

Applebloom's blush deepens "St-stop that... ah'll drop you"

Diamond looks up, an innocent look on her face "I'm just trying to be affectionate with my girlfriend"

"Girlfriend"? Applebloom pauses, the gears in her mind whirring "Girlfriend"? Am ah her girlfriend? I mean, she did kiss me earlier, and ah liked it... I liked it a lot. She says she's in love with me but I've also fought her for years! Am ah... are we even meant to be? Applejack doesn't seem to have a problem, neither does Big Mac... Sweetie says it's a good thing and Scootaloo thinks with her pants instead of her head. Do ah even like girls?

Duh, you kissed one and haven't been able to keep your mind of her since you met her! And you think she's th' prettiest thing ya ever saw! And she's honestly devoted to you...

Ah guess ah am her girlfriend... no, not "Ah guess" ah AM her girlfriend! But ah need to know somethin' first

I turn away from the door and walk over to Rarity

"Y'all still breathin?" Applejack asks, poking Rarity's side with a stick

Rarity moans "Fine darling, nothing damaged but my pride... and maybe my forehead..."

Applejack picks up a crystal "Now how in th' world did you do that thing with these crystals?"

"Reactinate. A special crystal that reflects the emotions of the one who placed the enchantment. Twilight said that she didn't have a use for it so she said that I could use it for some dresses' security. I think I may have lost my temper when Pinkie hurt Spike"

"May have?"

She squeaks "Okay, I did lose my temper... how is Spike by the way?"

"Urgh... sore... and I smell like bananas..." he groans, sitting up

Applejack shrugs, helping them both up "Now, about that question I had..."

Rarity cocks her head "Oh dear, I never gave you the chance to ask did I? I was so happy that I got both of them at the same time I completely forgot! Please forgive me Applejack"

Applejack waves a hand "Nothin' to be ashamed about. Now My sister and Diamond... 'parently they love each other"

"Ah do not! I mean- OW!" Diamond nips Appleblooms boob, flush with surprise "Wh-what?"

Applebloom sighs "Sorry, habit"

Diamond snorts and pulls herself closer to Applebloom's face "Kiss me and prove it"

She shrugs and kisses Diamond's nose "See?"

Diamond huffs and lowers herself, nuzzling into Applebloom's breasts again

Applejack gives them a confused look, an eyebrow disappearing into her hat "Like ah said, love each other"

Rarity claps her hands, a few more crystals falling off "That's wonderful! Finally that petty rivalry has turned into something good!"

Applejack sighs "That's the problem Rares, this change happened pretty much overnight. Ah'm just worried this is a hormonal thing that'll blow over and when it does, th' rivalry will come back worse. You're th' only love expert ah know and ah wanted your opinion"

Spike groans "Why not me? I spent most of my childhood chasing her, I have more experience in love, no offense Rarity"

Rarity chuckles "He's right you know, now if you'll excuse me, I need to nurse this headache"

Applebloom walks over to Spike, Diamond still burrowing into her chest "'Sup?"

Spike nods "'Sup?"

"Now as you can see, she's tryin' to dig into my chest, not that ah mind. Ah just wanna know what you think about this"

Spike looks at them, then Rarity, then Applejack, then himself, then back at them "I kinda saw this coming in all honesty. Especially since I tutored both of you in middle and high school. So I'm happy to see that we were right"

Applebloom stares at Spike, Diamond looking away from her eskimo kissing "What are you talking about?"

"Me, Babs, Silver, Cheerilee, Granny Smith, Filthy Rich, Big Mac, and Gold Key. After you two graduated from Middle school, everyone who had an idea of what to do gathered in the basement of Sucarcube corner. Me, Babs, and Silver had the idea first, Babs always on speaker phone because she couldn't be there. Silver let slip to Cheerilee its existence and she invited Big Mac with her. After the first meeting, Granny found out because she can read Big Mac like, as she put it, 'The farmer's almanac' And I've read that and even I have trouble sometimes, but I digress. She went to Mr. Rich and when he couldn't come, Gold came in his place. After maybe a year of meeting once a week, we decided that you had a volatile love-hate relationship that would end up with either both of you realizing you love each other, or one or both of you six feet under"

They all stare at him "Babs' words, not mine"

Applebloom clears her throat "So all of ya knew?"

Spike nods "In a sense, and we all kept on hinting at it all through High school but both of you were too oblivious. So Gold came up with a last resort plan. If neither of you could get the hint, we would manually push you two together"

"Wait, yesterday?!" both girls ask, Applebloom having forgotten about Diamond in her arms and nearly dropping her

Spike nods "We pooled our money and rented a small house far away from the town. Big Mac Decided that it was 'do or die' time and they took you to that house. You know the rest. We actually had a meeting last night. but in the middle of it, Silver put the recording of you on the speaker... needless to say, I was surprised that your imagination was that vivid and depraved. Babs however was laughing like a maniac and Big Mac and Cheerilee, were speechless. So after Babs stopped laughing, she said that they were texting both of you at the same time. She read off the texts, we told her what to say. You know the rest... I sense both of you want to punch me"

Applebloom sighs "Later, when you least expect it... Diamond? What are you-" Diamond stretches one arm and clocks Spike, sending him flying "Ow... I deserved that... I'm just going to lay here until I can feel my face again... or when my teeth stop rattling, whichever comes first"

Applebloom walks out of the shop, Diamond still in her arms "Ya didn't need to punch him"

"I know, I just wanted to. So... what are your fetishes?" Diamond asks, resting her head on Applebloom's chest

"... Ain't those the things nuns wear?"

Diamond laughs "Yes, but that's not what I meant. What turns you on? Get's you wet, hot under the collar... tell me, and I'll do it"

"Oh..." Applebloom blushes "Girls ah think"

Diamond sighs "Not what I meant again, but getting closer" She rubs her cheek on Applebloom's breasts "I like to be humiliated by you... I also like improvised toys and firm breasts, big enough I can hold them in my hand yet small enough that your back doesn't hurt. That's what I meant"

Applebloom's face now matches her name "F-feet... ah like feet. Ah don't know why, but ah do. Ah get aroused from foot commercials sometimes... I even have a subscription for magazine about feet... but ah use Sweetie's address for it" she looks down at Diamond "That's not weird is it?"

Diamond stares, wide-eyed "That is... one of my fetishes too... but I've always wanted to be the one being footed. Wait, which magazine? 'Leg sex', 'Leg show' or 'leg world'?"

Applebloom stops "Th' fact that you know the exact name of three that ah never heard of scares me"

Blushing, Diamond shrugs "I have a lot of time, a lot of money, and no one to hang with in the real world. Don't judge me"

"... Shoe sale catalogues, Sweetie and Scoots think I'm looking for cheap shoes"

Diamond stares "M-me too... and 'Leg sex' has the closest thing to actually good feet pictures by the way"

Applebloom grins weakly "So... wanna go-"

Diamond grins, hugging Applebloom (Or her neck rather) "I'll go anywhere with you... And I have a few ideas of how we can both have fun..."

Applebloom gulps "Ah sure hope ah don't regret this"

Author's Note

*My host's dad does this a lot
The return of Diamond the nerd!

I wish I was making up those magazine names, I really wish I was, but alas, I am not
Also, I am working on a comment driven story: Here's a link