Half Empty

Where can I turn for peace? What happened to my friends? I thought I knew them, but I was wrong. Loyalty, Kindness, Magic, Laughter, and Generosity are all words that have lost meaning to me. Honesty is the last hope I have. It's the last policy that I'm hellbent on upholding. I cannot let that virtue go to waste.

My name is Applejack. My family owns Sweet Apple Acres on the edge of Ponyville. My home. It's the last place I've been able to find comfort in. My family has become my life now. I walk my little brother to school, I work the farm with my sister, and I do my best to take care of my grandpa. My family is important to me. I value them above all else in this world. I'm glad to have them. They help me cope with what's happening to my friends.

No one ever seems to think that I can see beyond what I am meant to see. I know when something is wrong with my surroundings. It's a natural gut instinct. I can sense when someone is hurting, afraid, or lost. Others say I'm just a simple farmer that doesn't  know anything beyond apples. Well, I ain't stupid. I never have been, and I never was.

I believed my friends to be part of my family. So, naturally I loved and cared about them all. It hurt deep down inside to see my family begin to fall apart. My family of friends spiraled out of control. Everything went wrong. I began to see them less and less. They became ghosts of a life that I once knew.

Something happened to them. I know it. One by one, my friends seemed to become pessimists. They all went negative. Why?

We all started out so great. We were young when we all met, and we took on the world together. We did things that no others had done before! With the exception of the princes, we were incredibly powerful. Wielding the Elements of Harmony, we defeated villains that could easily have destroyed us. We stood up against the worst of the worst. We saved Artemis from the nightmare spirit, we stopped the changeling king, and even reformed the mistress of chaos. Then we grew up.

After Lady Tirek was defeated, everyone changed. That's where the true problem started. The young adults became adults. My friends lost the faith. The elements were what brought us together, but times change, and so did we. They drifted apart.

I still visit them, or rather, I try to. Sometimes I get a chance at conversation, but they never seem to last as long as they used to. Sometimes I'll knock at their doors only to be greeted by silence. Sometimes I see them avoid me and each other.

Regardless of how we all fell apart, I still have hope. We aren't in misfortune. Dusk Shine carries on with his studies and duties as a prince. Butterscotch has extended his animal care services to where he has dozens of paid workers. Bubble Berry is now the most revered party planner in Equestria and is highly favored by the citizens of Las Pegasus. Elusive runs a multimillion dollar fashion industry with his wife Barb. And Rainbow Blitz is the highest ranking wonderbolt. Me? I'm still working the old family farm and selling what most still consider the best apples in Equestria.

My friends got everything they ever wanted. I'm still doing what I love the most. I love working my farm. Aside from that failed quest of serving treats at the gala, I don't believe that I have any other ambitions. Well, maybe expand the family. Grandpa is always on my back about that saying that an unmarried stallion my age is a menace to society. He tells me, “You gotta start pulling your weight mister, need to repopulate the planet.” I do want a family of my own someday, but my little brother still needs some guidance. I still have to take care of him. My sister, she's been around. I see her talking to the school teacher sometimes. They're just friends though.

My little brother is still young and innocent. I'm happy for him. He gets to enjoy being young a little while longer with his friends as they still crusade about and around having their own adventures. I hope it lasts.

My immediate family is what I'll focus on for now. Since they are at peace, I can be at peace. I'll just relax here against the side of the barn and watch the sunset with a nice serving of cider. I always liked watching the sunset. It was so surreal. The purple, the red, the orange, the pink, and the yellow all swirled into a strange illusion that was both magical and uplifting. Sipping the cider away, I try to remember the good times I shared with my friends. We used to be the tightest bunch you ever did see. I dream about the adventures we used to embark on. I dream about the day that there will be no more contentions in the world. I dream about everyone forgetting about their sins and moving on to do better things and be better ponies. I dream about the day my friends will be there.

What I learned from Elusive, is that generosity can only go so far until you're sick of it. I knew that he could be hard headed at times and a bit selfish, but he wasn't a bad guy. Well, I guess I was wrong. I never knew he could ever get this low...

A quiet knock at the door brought Applejack to a stop from putting away the empty zap apple jars. "Hold on second!" Quickly he set aside the jars and raced over to the door, opening it to reveal Barb standing there with her son, Geode, cradled in her arms. "Well howdy Barb. What's up-" He stopped when Barb began to shake. "Barb? What's the matter? Why are you crying?"

Barb struggled to talk through her sobbing. "It's Elusive. He, he filed for a divorce."

"What?! Why'd he do that?" Applejack could see Barbs tears grow as she shook her head. "Come on in, please." He guided her into the house and into a chair. Acting quickly, he brought her a box of tissues. "Take your time if you need to." After Barb had calmed down a bit, Applejack got enough courage to ask her what exactly happened. "Barb, why is Elusive leaving you?"

Barb looked up with a blank stare. "Here." That was all she said when she held out her arm. In her claws there was a crumpled note that was covered with stains from her tears.

Applejack took the note and began to read it out loud, "Dear Barb, I know that you don't want me to do this, but frankly I don't care. I don't want to be with you anymore. I have already filed the papers for our divorce," Applejack paused as he looked up to see Barb cradling her son in her arms, "and don't worry about the dispute over who gets to keep Geode. I never wanted him." Applejack set down the paper angrily. He couldn't, no, he wouldn't read any more of it.

"He doesn't love me." Barb cried. "He at least told me that in person."

For the longest time there was just silence in the room. Neither talked. Barb just kept cuddling her son while Applejack contemplated in silence. Applejack was the most confused of the two of them. Barb was almost content with knowing that Elusive didn't want to be with her anymore, but Applejack just couldn't take it. Why? Applejack kept asking himself that same question over and over, again and again. Why would Elusive just leave her all alone with nowhere to go? Where would she go?

"Barb, do you need a place to stay?" Applejack nudged her shoulder, being careful not to wake her son.

"I'm sorry, but I didn't know where else to go. I know Dusk is always moving back-and-forth between the castles and doesn't have the time to help me. I'd hate to be a burden to you..." She trailed off shaking her head in frustration.

"It's alright. Come on I'll show you to the guest room." Applejack picked up Geode and lead Barb up to the room in the back of the house that was always open for guests, should they ever arrive. After setting Geode carefully on the mattress, Applejack went to go fetch some sheets for the bed. Barb picked geode back up and watched as Applejack put the sheets on the bed and fluffed the pillow. Applejack also pulled out his little brother's old cradle out for Geode."

"Thanks Applejack." Barb gave a weak smile.

Applejack began to head for the door. "Anything else that you need?"

Barb let out a big sigh. "I just need some sleep. It's been a long day."

"Okay then," He began to close the door, "I'll be downstairs if you need anything."

Applejack walked back down the staircase and into the kitchen to finish putting with the zap apple jars. He couldn't stop thinking about what had just happened, how Barb turned up at his doorstep and how Elusive had just left her like that. It wasn't like Elusive, his generous nature would be against anything of this manner. But, then again, Applejack had known Elusive to be selfish at times regarding personal needs. A dark thought crosses mine when he pictured Elusive cheating on Barb.

A knock at the door brought applejack out of his train of thought. After putting the last jar away in the cupboard, Applejack walked to the door and opened it. Standing there on the doorstep was Elusive. He looked different. He looked tired. Good, Applejack thought, he should be tired.

“Well, hello Applejack.” Elusive straightened a hat that covered his mane.

Applejack had to restrain every ounce of his will from striking Elusive across the face. “You got some guts showing up here with what you did to Barb.”

“Is she inside?” Elusive looked up at the house as if expecting to see Barb’s face in one of the windows.

“Yes, and you’re not going to see her.”

“I wasn’t going to ask to see her.” Elusive was distant, very distant. Something seemed to be jabbing at him inside.

“Then why are you here?”

Elusive let out a heavy sigh. “I came to apologise to you, even though I know Barb won’t be a burden to you. It’s just that,” Elusive cleared his dry throat, “there is no one else I would trust, more than you, to take care of her for me.” Steadily his face began to shake as his breathing became rapid. With a rushed goodbye, he turned and left through the gate to the farm that had seen many over the years both living and dead. Applejack shook his head, still angry at Elusive in some way that could only be forgotten by time. As he turned to go back into the house, Applejack could almost swear, he saw a small tuft of purple mane sitting in the dirt.

Loyalty is only good if it’s to the right people. Rainbow Blitz lost what was important to him. It ruined him. That’s all I have to say about my poor pal.

“Is he in here?” Applejack stood as a nervous fit ever since he heard what happened.

“Yeah, he’s in the corner.” The bartender pointed to a side of the room where Rainbow Blitz sat.

Rainbow was in quite a state. His mane was matted and dirt ridden, his wonderbolt uniform was stained from the cider glasses he had inhaled, and his hoof had pickled into dragging a cider glass back and forth as he mumbled on to himself. Applejack approached him with caution.

“Haven’t seen you in a while buddy.” Applejack gave a half hearted smile to the former wonderbolt.

“What? Cider that-you? No does no matter-no more…” Desperately he tried to down cider from an empty glass that mocked him with a drip that fell into his eye. He had just one eye. The other was still bandaged up from the last bar fight Applejack knew nothing about.

“I’m sorry about what happened. It’s a shame the wonderbolts had to lose such a great flyer.” Applejack sat down next to him.

By now Rainbow had seen Applejack, but was too drunk to acknowledge his presence. “I wasted my time with those,” a sludge of various incoherent curses escaped his mouth as he tried again to drink from the empty glass. “Dishonorable discharge!” He threw down the glass, cracking it in two. The handle stayed in his grip only long enough for him to lose it. “I try save him! Not-my fault… Not my…” Applejack placed a comforting arm around his shoulder. “Fastest flyer working for a buch of,” more incoherent language flew out to the wonder bolts. Not too much of what he said was coherent at all, but Applejack listened as he deciphered the drunken story of the life he tried to save that only killed others. Dedicated to leaving no one behind, Rainbow had disobeyed an order to save a child. The child was nothing more than a trap. It was really a changeling disguised as a child. “I was dreaming to be a part of the wonderbolts! I waited, and for what? To be burned by that stupid dream.” Rainbow blankly ripped out of his chair and struggled to stand. “Loyalty ain’t worth being a slave to what makes you question your morals. If I was on my own, no one would have gotten hurt.”

“It was just bad luck. People still need you Blitz.”

“NO!” Rainbow slipped on his hooves and collapsed. With what was left of his humility, he stood up. “No one needs a broken bolt.”

Applejack tried to approach him, but he initially stopped when he saw the bartender shake his head as if to say, “Let him be.” Applejack watched as Rainbow forced his body to cooperate in traversing the way to the exit. Carefully, Applejack followed him out to the street.

A colt had run up to Rainbow Blitz, “Please they’re gonna get me!”

Rainbow Blitz looked on and saw, surely enough, a group of older colts frozen in place when they saw who their victim had run to. “You better leave this one alone, or else I’ll send you home crying to your mommies. Now scram!” The bullies obeyed and high tailed it out of there. Rainbow looked down at the still scared colt. Though he was drowsy, Rainbow still recognised the colt. His orange fur and reddish purple mane. “Scooter. Didn’t your dad ever tell you to pick your fights more carefully?”

“What dad?” Scooter almost had a tinge of anger toward the subject.

Rainbow coughed a bit. “What about your mom?” Scooter didn’t respond but held a different expression of emptiness. “Sorry kid.”

Applejack watched from a distance to make sure Rainbow didn’t do anything stupid in his drunken state. He stayed long enough to watch Rainbow clumsily buy scooter an icecream.

Famous People never get a brake. If anything they’re paparazzied to death. Their privacy is gone and all of tartarus breaks loose. The dreams of laughter and happiness for everyone can quickly shatter by the hand of a printing press, some hurtful words, and anyone dumb enough to believe them. Pain and damage don’t usually come on the warning label for fame.

“Mister Applejack?”The very calm voice of a mare woke up Applejack. He had fallen asleep in the waiting room of the hospital. “Bubble will see you now.”

“Thank you kindly, Doctor Stable.” Applejack proceeded to the room where Bubble Berry was resting. His mane was flat as he stared out the window. Next to his bed was a tray holding a small bottle of antidepressants and a half eaten bowl of jello. Strange, Applejack thought, he always had room for jello.

Bubble heard Applejack coming and turned to face him. “Hey there AJ, how’s it going?” A sad smile found its way to Bubble’s face.

Applejack tried his best to smile, but he couldn’t hold it for long. “Is it true? Did you really try to do what the Cakes told me?”

Bubble lost the smile. He could no longer hold the tears back. “I’m sorry.” He cried. “I was so tired. I was losing my…” He stopped and stared off into what seemed to be empty space over Applejack’s shoulder.

Applejack realized someone had been standing behind him. It was a mare with a brown mane and yellow fur. Her polo was unmistakable. “Cheesy? What are you doing here?”

“Is he okay?” Cheesy demanded.

Applejack blinked. “He’s fine now. You might want to be gentle with him.” Cheesy ran past him and pounced on Bubble. “Or not.” Applejack decided to just watched from then on.

“Don’t you dare scare me like that!” Cheesy cried as she held Bubble in a desperate hug. “Why would you want do that?”

Bubble slowly wrapped his unbandaged arm around Cheesy as he rested his head against hers. “I guess, I forgot what I had. I forgot that anyone wanted to smile.”

Applejack stood in the hall now and was about to leave, but a little filly with a box blocked his way. It was Pound Cake. “Can I help you,” he asked politely.

Pound lit up with a smile and opened her box which was full of clown noses. “Would you like to buy a clown nose in honor of my uncle Bubble Berry?”

Applejack raised an eyebrow. “Where’s the money going?”

Pound held up a nose. “All the money goes to helping my uncle Bubble recover.”

Applejack looked up. All along the hallway and as far as he could see, everyone was wearing a red clown nose in honor of Bubble Berry. Nurses, doctors, and patients alike had all bought a nose. Applejack hadn’t noticed that in the box of red noses was a tin can full of bits. He read the label on the can, “For Bubble.” Smiling Applejack pulled some bits out of his hat and placed them in the tin can. “I’ll take three.” He took three noses and tried one of them on. “How do I look?”

Pound laughed at the sight. “Robin would be proud!”

“What?” Applejack didn’t understand what she meant by that.

“Oh, it’s something I heard Bubble say when me and my brother wore clown noses.” The filly smiled. “Thank you.”

Applejack watched as the filly met up with her brother, Pumpkin Cake, to continue earning bits to help with Bubble’s recovery. He smiled. “Kids.” Applejack turned around and headed back into where Bubble and Cheesy were to give them their new noses.

Kindness is spent where it is returned. There is only one person I knew that would give more than he would take. I’m sad to say I’ve seen him run out of what made him who he was.

“Butterscotch! Please open the door.” Applejack knocked again.

“Just leave me alone!” Butterscotch’s voice was a lot louder than usual.

“Come on! I’m sorry for whatever I did.”

“What makes you think it’s just you? It’s everyone! Why won’t you all just go to TARTARUS!!!” Butterscotch’s voice faded away behind the door of his cottage. Multiple workers, that had been feeding animals, started to stare at Applejack.

“Boss hasn’t be very nice lately, has he?”

“I just got here, the stallion isn’t as kind as some ponies told me.”

“Something’s either eatin’ him up, or he decided to be a jerk.”

Applejack looked on and started walking away from the premises. This wasn’t like Butterscotch. Not at all. Like many things as of late, it made no sense to Applejack.

A whisper came from behind. “What fun is there in making sense?”

Applejack let out a sigh. “Reading minds again, Eris?”

“Is he still mad? Butterscotch I mean.” The mistress of chaos played with her paw and claw nervously.

Applejack turned to face her. “What did you do?” When he saw Eris become even more uncomfortable he grew angry. “This is your fault isn’t it!”

“Please,” the draconequus said defensively, “I didn’t know he would react this way.” Applejack wasn’t sure how to react to that. “He told me he loved me, but I told him I couldn’t love him back, at least not in that way. I told him we shouldn’t be together.”

“I can think of reasons why you’re right, but Butterscotch could probably think of a million reasons why you’re wrong. Why wouldn’t a relationship with a pony like him work for you?” Applejack just wanted to understand why Eris was so content with breaking the heart of someone as innocent and kind as Butterscotch.

“I don’t even see what he sees in me. I’m not exactly Miss June in the Pony Boy magazine. Bad joke? Sorry.” Eris took a deep breath to steady her emotions. “I know Butterscotch doesn’t care about looks. But, I’m a monster. He’s the furthest thing from a monster, so he could never understand me really. His kindness drove hatred and anger out of my heart, but I almost wish he didn’t. It’s too cliche, like those medical drama’s where the doctor’s fall in love with their patients. I’m glad I didn’t tell him about Solaris.”

“Solaris?” Applejack was a bit surprised. “Isn’t he far cry from a monster.”

“Obviously you don’t understand immortals,” Eris reprimanded. “It’s the crazy ones that can live for that long and stay as calm as they do around others. I’m surprised no one noticed. Those flowers I gave him weren’t exactly apologetic. And, don’t you dare think I’ve come to love Solaris over Butterscotch because of looks. I always had this dream of being with another draconequus, ever since I was a little one. Solaris is completely different in that way, but I know what he’s been through. He’s had it rough. Maybe I can use the kindness Butterscotch gave me to help Solaris.”

Applejack shook his head. “What about Butterscotch?”

“What about him?” Eris said rather coldly.

“So what, that’s it? You suck him dry of kindness and just move on?!” Applejack couldn’t believe this.

“I know you don’t understand, but, I’m crazy. No one will ever understand.” Eris wiped away a tear for that thought. “If Butterscotch is ever willing to talk, please tell him I’ll always be grateful for the kindness he showed me.” And with that she vanished into thin air.

“I know you can hear me Eris.” Applejack muttered to the air. “You better not waste my friend’s kindness.”

Dusk was too busy, to even see me or listen to what I had to say about Barb. It’s been months since Barb came, and Elusive was nowhere to be seen, and Dusk was too busy to care, it seemed. But through it all, nothing fuels stress better than an empty stomach. Dinnertime became the beginning of my best escape.

Applejack continued cleaning up the dining table and the area round about. From the doorway , his grandpa watched him. Applejack didn’t even see him standing there. He jumped when he finally noticed him. “Boy sonny, I’ve never seen this place so spiffy before. What’s the occasion?”“I don’t know.” Applejack simply continued cleaning. “I just felt like it had to be done sooner or later.”“And uh, who’s cooking up that delicious smell?” The old stallion sniffed the air. “Smells mighty nice too!”“Oh, I cooked dinner too. I’m just cleaning while the desert is baking” Applejack went back to polishing the table with a rag.“Wait a minute sonny… Macareina isn’t cooking like usual?” Grandpa Smith was getting his facts straight.“Yeah, I think she’s in her room. And, If you were wondering Applesprout is sleeping over with the other cutie mark crusaders in their little club house.” Applejack kept on polishing with the rag. He’d run into a particularly tough spot.Grandpa Smith smiled. “So, you did the cooking, and you cleaned.” His smile grew wider. “You must really like that pretty dragon friend of yours to go and impress her.”Applejack’s polishing came to a squeaking halt. “What?”“Oh,” Grandpa Smith pretended to act innocent, “it ain’t really any of my business, but I’m perfectly fine with a dragon coming into the family.”“Grandpa, she our guest. Understand?” Applejack finished up with polishing the table.Grandpa Smith hummed a bit. “So that’s what they call it these days.” He laughed at his grandson’s discomfort. “I know I pester you now and then about getting married, but I’m just telling you what I know from experience.”Applejack looked incredulously at his grandpa. “She was just married and has a foal.”“She’s not married anymore,” Applejack’s grandpa put an arm around him before he could walk away. “I know you think I’m a crazy old coot, but listen to me when I say this. When I married your granny, it was the best decision I ever made. I’ve heard from Macareina. She tells me about all these problems you’re going through with your friends. You can’t spend your whole life worrying about your friends all the time. You gotta have time to worry about you.” With a pat on the back Grandpa Smith headed to the kitchen. “I’ll take it from here.”Applejack watched his grandpa walk through the kitchen door. “Not dragon, dragoness.” He mentally chastised himself for actually correcting that terminology. Spotting the red nose from the hospital he picked up, he set down his rag and began to play with the rubbery nose. Giving it a little squeeze it squeaked. He laughed at it for a bit and wondered if Barb’s son would like it. Almost as if on cue, Applejack could hear crying from upstairs. Quickly, he made his way up the staircase to the guest bedroom. As soon as he entered, Geode stopped crying and just stared expectantly at Applejack. “Hey there little buddy. Where’s your mom at?”Baby Geode threw out some half cried syllables that ended in, “Mama.” He looked around the room as he mumbled again, “Mama.”Applejack remembered the clown nose he had been carrying when an idea popped into his head. “Hey, watch this.” Putting on the clown nose, he squeaked it. It made little Geode laugh. Applejack kept up the act by throwing in numerous goofy faces and funny sounds. Pulling his hat off, he played peekaboo with him. “Where am I?” He covered his face and little Geode looked around desperately to find out where his entertainment had gone. “Here I am!” The hat came off and Geode erupted into a blast of giggles and contagious smiles. The little guy reached up, trying to grab Applejack’s hat. “Here you go little bud.”Geode yelped a bit as the hat slid completely over his head. Lifting it up, he began to smile and laugh. “Mama!”“He likes you.” Barb had been watching the whole scene.“What makes you think that?” Needless to say, Applejack was downright embarrassed. Acting like a goofball wasn’t exactly part of his repertoire. That was usually Bubble’s job, but he was still adapting to his new medication. Though embarrassed, Applejack figured it wasn’t so bad if he was just trying to entertain Geode.Geode decided he wanted to give Applejack his hat back. After putting the hat back, backwards, he decided he also wanted to give Applejack a hug. “Daddy.” The utterance earned a silent gasp from Barb. Before Applejack said anything, he just wrapped an arm around Geode and picked him up.“How about dinner?” Applejack looked to Barb in question. After a smile and a nod, they headed down to eat dinner.

I don’t think I ate any of the food that was my dinner. I was too distracted. I can’t believe I was actually thinking about it. But, something just touched me in my heart when saw her there feeding her son. He wasn’t my child. And when he called me daddy, I didn’t know what to think. Geode’s real dad asked me to take care of Barb for him. I’m not sure why he’d expect me to be better than anyone else. At least, we were friends. We still are. Friends care for each other, that’s what friends do. I hated my predicament.Two questions kept dragging my train of thought back and forth. Would she ever marry anyone after Elusive? Would she ever consider someone like me? I’m not exactly the image of charm and looks that Elusive was. Hay! That was what drew Barb to him in the first place. And, I still can’t believe I’m thinking about this. But, I wasn’t thinking of all the things that had gone wrong with my friends as of late.Maybe that was a good thing. With Barb around, I became less worried about what was happening to all my friends. It was a peace that I figured I had been needing for a while. Maybe that could be a reason to love her. She was always one of those friends that’s just nice to be around. You don’t find too much folk like that anymore. Now I can’t help but to look at her from that perspective. I gotta be totally honest with myself, since I usually give it all to others. For a dragoness, she really was kind of pretty in a her own way. Her eyes were the prettiest. I can’t help but wonder if those eyes of hers were the reason Elusive saw beauty in her. I don’t care too much for outside beauty, but Barb’s eyes did speak profound meaning I would never understand from anyone else. Goodness, I’m really thinking about this.Barb caught me staring once or twice staring at her during dinner that night. Everytime she smiled. A voice in my head screamed about her not being the same race. Another voice rang truer in the fact that being a different species never stopped Barb from loving a pony before. Maybe I was thinking too much. On the bright side of things, I wasn’t stressed about all the troubles that seemed to go around this time in life. Maybe I’ll think some more.After dinner was over, I headed outside to sit on the porch bench. Looking up at the stars, I wondered if my parents could see me now. I wondered how they were doing. I wondered if this was what it was like for them. Barb came out to the porch as well. She carried a sleeping Geode and a slice of apple pie. I guess I had forgotten dessert. It was a surreal moment. It almost seemed like a dream. After sharing that apple pie with me, she just scooted up to me on the bench with Geode still asleep in her arms. We watched the stars together then and there. We didn’t talk, but I might have heard her whisper a thank you.I thought about my situation. My glass was half empty. That wasn’t bad though. A half full glass would only ever be half full. My glass was half empty, which means I already drank the first half. I had a whole glass and lived a half of it. But now, I have a whole other half to go. And, as Barb sat next to me, I thought about how great it would be to spend the next half with her. I dared to dream about the future when she rested her head on my shoulder.