Hey, Doc, to be completely honest with you...I did hug Applejack and cry in that story.

It's just...I don't know. I feel like I need to be tough and not let things get to me. I guess being raised with two older brothers does that. I feel like I have more in common with stallions than most mares. Especially that seamstress. Rarity, I think. Have you seen the size of those hats?

I don't know why I'm telling you this, Doc, since you already know the long and short of it. I guess I'm just talking to myself...er...writing. I guess I'm talking in my head and just writing it down at the same time. My Creative Writing professor at Canterlot University had a term for it. Let me check my old notes. One sec.

Stream of Consciousness! Good thing I took that class before I dropped out of school or my writing would suck. But, yeah, stream of consciousness or writing how you think. I like writing like that. I don't have to worry about thesis statements or references. Hell, I could have a whole sentence that is just the word 'awesome.'

Awesome awesome, awesome awesome awesome.

...that word sounds weird now.

Anyway, I think I'm gonna write about Derpy this time. I feel like I really should since last time I said I was going to and I wrote a story about Applejack.

Derpy is really nice and slightly clumsy. It's actually why she's called Derpy. Her actual name is Ditzy Doo, but she earned the nickname Derpy Hooves from her parents after she dropped everything she held for the first three years of her life. The name apparently stuck and now she finds it weirder when somepony calls her Ditzy.

We initially met over mail, which is kinda funny. She took part in something called Helping Hoof which was a kind of pen pal service for those that are really depressed or suicidal. My previous therapist over in Canterlot signed me up for it when I was going through a really rough patch. I was assigned "An Anonymous Ponyville Citizen," and that's all I knew. The first few letters were really boring. I learned that I was writing to a pegasus mare that worked for the post office but no name. All that introductory crap. But one day when I felt terrible with an extra order of shitty, I wrote a very emotional letter talking about what happened with Fluttershy and how I felt it was my fault. It ended up being a very long letter and my word choice was pretty shitty. I sent it before I lost my nerve or had second thoughts. I spent the whole day and into the next agonizing over it. I kept thinking up scenarios where she would talk to Helping Hoof to get a replacement because I was being too whiny, or that she would call me a murderer and call the guard on me. During the afternoon I got a reply. The exact content of the letter is very personal and I still treasure it. It was very uplifting and made me feel like I really mattered. I hope you don't mind, Doc, but I'm gonna keep the letter to myself. Anyway, I never found out Derpy was my pen pal until I first met her and she hugged me after learning my name. Apparently she had a hoof in arranging my transfer because she really wanted to meet me. I was supposed to be sent to Neigh Orleans but she swapped me with somepony being sent to Ponyville.

Anyway, back to talking about Derpy as a pony. I think the reason she's so clumsy is because of her eye. One of her eyes kinda...wanders. Like, her right eye will look right at you and the left eye will look at a squirrel outside. Apparently, it doesn't bother her but Dinky seems really sensitive about it.

Oh shit! I completely forgot about Dinky!

When I moved in with Derpy, she already had a foal named Dinky. Little unicorn filly that's a shade of purple. She's a pretty awesome little filly, super smart and quiet.

It took me a while (and a few cups of cider) to get Derpy to talk about the father. She said it was some earth pony that was a doctor. They used to travel together and kinda had a thing going. After that the drink must have hit Derpy kinda hard because she started to talk about a bunch of sci-fi mumbo jumbo. It took me a while to get her back to reality. I asked if they were still together and it took her another cup before she answered. Apparently after Derpy found out she was pregnant she left this doctor pony. She told him that she couldn't raise a foal with all the traveling they did but she couldn't ask him to stop doing what he loved.

For some reason this made me feel oddly happy, even though I should have felt bad. I blame the cider.

After Derpy told me all that, she got very sad and quiet. I did my best to comfort her and ~~we kind maybe did certain things~~ nothing else. Absolutely nothing happened after that. NOTHING. If you ask Derpy, I will deny everything.

Anyway, back to Dinky.

Dinky is insanely smart. Like it's a little scary how smart she is. I've had to go to parent-teacher conferences in place of Derpy (which was weird), and her teacher has said that the only thing keeping Dinky from attending college is her age.

Apparently her teacher, Cheerilee, noticed that she was getting perfect marks and thought she was cheating. So she gave her a different test from the rest of the class and she still got perfect marks! Like how sweet is that? But it gets better. Cheerilee wanted to see exactly how smart Dinky was, so she gave Dinky a harder test and she totally aced it! This surprised her, so she kept doing it. Eventually giving Dinky questions about stuff that she wouldn't have learned in class. When Dinky passed that, Cheerilee sat down the filly and talked with her.

Apparently after school Dinky had been going to the Golden Oaks Library to just read. I always thought she went out to play with friends, but according to that old librarian Dusty Tomes she's been reading about microbiology. I didn't even know they made biology in micro form! It must be really hard to read. Derpy says that she gets her smarts from her dad. She says he was like super duper smart.

So anyway, Cheerilee told Derpy that she was going to go to Canterlot at the end of the school year to see if Princess Celestia would be willing to let her into her School for Gifted Unicorns on just her smarts alone.

So yeah, Dinky is a super smarty flank.

She also calls me Auntie Dash, which makes me feel kinda weird. Like, I'm not related Derpy in any way, but Dinky thinks of me like her aunt. Not just her aunt, her FAVORITE aunt. Like her other aunt is just Aunt Daring but I'm Aunt-IE Dash...I don't know why I feel pride in that. I feel like that's wrong in some way, feeling good for being the favorite aunt over the ACTUAL aunt that she's related to.

Anyway, I really care about that kid. I almost feel like I AM her actual aunt. I've watched her grow from a foal to the filly she is today. It's not just that but when she accomplishes something I feel proud of her. I'm not sure if that's weird, Doc. Seems like something Freud would talk about, right? I don't actually know, but I've seen a lot of mind doctors and they love talking about Freud. Maybe he can explain this.

Heh...I actually waited for you to say something, as if you were really here and I wasn't just writing in a ~~diary~~ JOURNAL! Ignore that scratched out word. I didn't write diary by accident. Honest!

Anyway, I really do care about Dinky. She's really helped me get through some of the tougher days. She just knows how to lift my spirits, even if just a little, making the world a little less crappy. I'm not sure where I would be without that filly, or Derpy for that matter. They are both so kind and caring for no good reason. I feel like I could never do enough to show my appreciation. I love them so much.

But not like that, Doc. Especially not Derpy. Nope, not at all. Totally not. Derpy isn't awesome enough for me to like...like that.

...Um...I don’t feel like writing about Derpy anymore. It’s making me feel...funny. I think I’m just gonna drop this by your office now. See you next Tuesday, Doc.

Ms. Dash,

I’m glad to hear about the “stream of consciousness” style of writing - it helps me to understand how you’re really feeling as you write it more than a refined, edited entry could. And not only for me, but for you as well. The next time you write, try reading the last entry again and reflecting on it, and let me know if you find something there. Self-discovery is an important part of growing, not just as a teenager like so many ponies say, but throughout your whole life. I’m here, not to discover them for you, but to point you in the right direction and show you how to find them yourself.

Things you don’t really think about can actually show a lot about yourself if you look a little deeper, like the pride you felt for Dinky. Maybe that approval that you’re giving her was something you looked for from family or friends, since it sounds like you were quite the competitive filly. Thinking about why you react to certain things is a great way to help you better understand yourself, and understanding yourself helps you to be a better you.

And one more thing - don’t worry about me prying into your life. I may encourage you to share certain things with me or to be more open, but in the end, I’ll only hear what you want me to hear, and I’ll let you decide if and when you want to tell me about these things.

Until our next session,
Sanguine Script

Author's Note

(The following is the result of Skyping/Editing at 12AM on little sleep.)

Ms. Dash,

Ms. Dash, That really grinds my hips into sexy, cherry-flavored limestone dust.
I like your idea of callipygian stories, but this one is far too oblique.

Dear Doc,

What the hell are you talking about? Dinky doesn’t even know what those words mean.

Ms. Dash,

To put it in laymare’s terms, “You got the ass, but no word to back it up to.”

Dear Doc,

Who is this “laymare”? Is she the other mare you’ve been seeing?! I want a divorce, because you look like a horse

Ms. Dash,

We we’re never married; we are infact, one in the same thing. Born together in the sands of Duramir, separated by Celestia’s lightnings, and sewn back into individuals by Luna’s great pencil skirts.

DoCtOr ScRiPt,

I lOvE iT

-mRs. JoHnSoN

Ms. Djash,

…

-Sanguine Brit

Doc,

I am not DJ Ash and YOU know it!

Ms. Dashe,

Guten BLARG.

-Sanguine Shits