How to get from Virginia to Equestria
The beating of a lifetime
I was returning from my job at Taco Bell. Minding my own business, I earned my pay for the week, Nothing special about that job, But it is better than nothing, I have never went as far as Florida on any trip, I was walking around the corner when I saw them, First guy was about 6ft 5 carrying a metal baseball bat with razor wire wrapped around it...
"This can't be good..." I mumbled, knowing what trouble lies ahead
Baseball sees me, 'YOUR DEAD PONYBOY" he yells
"Oh shit" I said.
It did not take me long to figure out why they intend to beat me to a pulp. You see. I live in the part of Virginia where you cannot throw a rock without hitting a redneck in the face, or worse, hitting his can of chewing tobacco... (note. don't mess with a redneck's snuff. he will make you see the face of god). And these rednecks, you see, I messed up their orders and did not give them the refund, which is why they intend to either beat me to death. Or at least half way there, before I could react. Baseball was on me, and he laid his weapon of choice right into the side of my head, Knocking me to the ground and giving my head a nice bloody gash. Damn. I'm going to need stiches. I manage to grab the first thing I can to fight back. A 2x4 wood beam, I sweep Baseball's legs out from under him and get a good hit to his chest, But before I can double back and get his tower of a brother, I get his nightstick square in the nose, It's broken, Bleeding badly. Baseball then gets up and pins me to the ground.
"What the fuck are you doing this for" I roared.
"You have already tried this once, and I stomped a mud hole in your asses" I yelled at them.
In truth, these guys had tried this before and I had mopped the floor with their faces, but that was when they did not have weapons, currently pinned to ground. I manage to get one final strike in before the real beating begins; I get Nightstick right in the face with a well-aimed kick. He doubles back in pain.
"You just signed your death notice faggot", I hear baseball say right before he begins to lay his fist into my face and stomach.
His brother then joins him. I'm getting the shit beaten out of me, just because I screwed up some rednecks burrito, and this is what I could die for.
"So many dumb reasons to die", I start to say before I get my face stepped on, Breaking my jaw.
I endure several more blows to the face before it ends my life flashes before my eyes; I see everything that has happened to me. and that may or may not happen to me now, Then next thing I know, They have grabbed their weapons and proceed to finish their job, Thankfully one of those dudes land a nice headshot and I am KO'ED, Lights out, Naturally, They think I'm dead, Last thing I see them do before I pass out is take my wallet, And take all the money out, Damn it I earned that money well, Then they throw down the wallet and walk away, Last thing I hear is these words...
"Die faggot" Baseball says as he gets in one final blow to the side of my head
After that, it was lights out
How to get from Virginia to Equestria
Good Morning...wait. how am i here
I wake up in a forest. I try to stand up but I fall right back down after several attempts. I get on my hooves...wait a minute...HOOVES. DAFUQ, I calm down and run to a pond. Where I see my fears confirmed. I went from lying injured in an alley in Virginia. To a Pegasus pony in Equestria, I also know where I am now. The Everfree Forest, I see my cutie mark. It's a thundercloud with a single yellow lightning bolt. Nice and awesome. But still. How did I get here? And if I can find somepony...I said that. Damn. I start to walk out of the Everfree to find some help when I remember that I'm a Pegasus. In other words, I can fly.
Before we get to the flying, I got to describe the pony I have become. I am solid white. With a black Mohawk with green at the tips of my mane, green eyes. And nice white wings,
Now back to my first flight. Mu first attempt puts me into a tree. Second attempt, I get very personal with a boulder. 3rd try, I nailed it and I'm flying. I'm flying pretty fast. I mean Fighter jet fast. Soon enough I'm out of the forest pretty fast. And you don't go that fast in ponyville without getting noticed by a certain cyan pony. I look to my right and there she is. Flying right beside me, is Rainbow Dash. She does not know me.
"What's your name" Dash asks
"Hmm", I have not got a pony name yet. So I make one. I look at my cutie mark and get a name from it. "My name's Thunderhead" I say with nervousness in my voice.
"Nice to meet you Thunderhead" she says with a tone of cockiness in her voice.
I know where this is going already. So I up the ante. "Listen to me. I have to tell you something and you have to trust me that I'm not telling a lie" I say.
I get the challenge I was expecting. "Only if you beat me in a race first Thunder" she says.
"You got a deal" I say with confidence.
Now you got to remember who has just challenged me. The fastest Pegasus in all of Equestria, Rainbow Dash, and I just became a Pegasus today. So I think I'm going to lose and not get to tell her my problem. We line up at the edge of the Everfree. Dash is to my left. The course is simple. One lap around ponyville and back, easy right...Nope, not for someone who was once in the USA and not able to fly
Before I can react Rainbow Dash yells "GO"
And all I see is a rainbow streak in my path. I take off and I am right beside her in moments. It's a tight race until we reach Sugercube Corner. Where we round behind the store and I take the lead. She tries to catch up to me. But it is too late. We have one of those close as hell NASCAR finishes. Me wining by inches, we land in front of Twilight's treehouse and I begin to state my problem.
"Listen. I am not from Ponyville. Equestria or even your world, I am actually a human named James who was beaten up and left for dead. When I came to, I was here in Equestria. So please. I need some help"
I notice that Rainbow dash is not only not laughing but enthralled by my story. And is not alone either, Standing beside her is a pony I know automatically. Twilight Sparkle,
"Hmm, I think you need to come with me umm...”
"Just call me Thunderhead for now" I say calmly.
"Ok Thunderhead. Follow me" Twilight says with concern in her voice.
I hope she can take me to someone I know can help me.
In a while we are flying to the unknown destination and she asks me "Now explain to me how you got here" Twilight asks.
"All I can remember is getting beaten half to death and waking up here. I'm sorry" I say. Wishing I could help her more.
Twilight turns and looks at me with deep concern etched on her face. I never thought I would say this about a pony. But she is beautiful. Her eyes are strikingly amazing. And if I had lived here, I'm sure I would have made my move on her long ago. After a couple of miles we reach the Destination. The royal castle, I realize who I'm about to meet. The princess of the sun herself, Celestia, The Royal Guards notices me with Twilight and begins to run toward me. Weapons drawn,
"Oh no not again" I mumble under my breath.
"Stop, he is with me. He needs to see Celestia" Twilight says fast.
The guards back down and let us inside. In moments we are at the throne and there stands Celestia. I don't know what to do. Until Twilight whispers in my ear
"Bow" Twilight whispers in my ear.
So I bow. Not knowing what else to do
Celestia says in a booming voice "Rise and explain your situation"
"We’ll all I can remember is being beaten half to death on my home world. Left for dead, and when I came to. I was somehow in Equestria. Other than that, I can't remember anything else Princess". I say with a bit of nervousness in my voice
"You can call me Celestia" she says in a much more soothing voice
"Do you have a name" Celestia asks.
"Well. In my world, my name is James. But here I took the name Thunderhead". I say calmly. Waiting for an answer to if I can go back home or not.
"Well Thunderhead. It is a pleasure to meet you. But sadly, there is no way back to your home that we know of. Because you’re the first being from another world to come here, we cannot send you back. I'm Sorry" she says. Obviously not wanting to say those words,
I am broken. I cannot return home. I sit down and begin to cry. And that's major. Because I don't cry, I begin to think about all the things I have left behind. My Friends, my Family. My job and the worst of it to me, my two cats, Cheech and Chong, (yes, I have cats named Cheech and Chong). I suddenly get angry without even knowing it.
"YOU HAD BETTER FIND SOMEWAY TO SEND ME HOME". "I NEED TO GET HOME" I yell
I collapse on the floor of the castle. Knowing that I might not see home again. I then realize that I exploded in the face of the Princess of the sun. But when I try to get up, I am swept up into a comforting hug by Celestia.
"I am so sorry Thunderhead. If there was a way we knew of. You would be home right now. But sadly there is not. I promise to help you adjust to your new life here in Equestria as best as I can. And I'm sure that Twilight and her friends will be glad to help you adjust as well" Celestia says. Trying her best to calm me down,
I have calmed down now. And I look at Twilight. She looks back at me and smiles warmly
"I will gladly help you adjust Thunderhead. And you’re welcome to stay with me until you’re ready to start your new life here" Twilight says.
We have left the castle. On our way back to the Treehouse, when I land for a moment, I watch the sunset. Possibly the sun setting on my past life, and I await the start of my new one. Twilight lands beside me. And wraps me up in a hug,
"I promise. You will love it here. And I will work on finding a way for you to get home. I promise"
I look directly at her. My eyes locking with hers, And. without thinking, I kiss her. She starts to fight it for a moment. But melts into it, our lips stay locked for about a minute before we stop.
"I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me. It's just you have all been so nice to me and I did not think about what I did...”
Out of nowhere, Twilight has started to kiss me again. This time with some more passion in it, her tongue tries to enter my mouth and I gladly let it. We share a passionate kiss that seems to go on forever. But only lasted for a couple of minutes, once we stop our sudden tongue war, she looks at me with those beautiful eyes of hers.
"It's ok. Things happen for a reason. You had the reason. And that's fine with me" Twilight says lovingly.
She looks at me. Blushing, after a couple more minutes, we are back in the air. Wow. I went from half dead. To a wonderful new life in about 4 hours, then I look back at the sky.
I say to myself. "I guess this isn’t so bad after all"
Then Twilight and I take off to the treehouse. Holding hooves as we begin a new life, Possible even a new love.
