Anon was in the Bahamas, lying on a lounge chair with the sun reflecting off his swag shades and the only sounds being the distant crashes of waves. Anon had the entire beach to himself, not a single cloud in the light blue skies or a bunch of little ponies to annoy him to no end. Yep, this was HIS time to relax, and soak in the sun's rays while sipping on one of those fancy cocoanut cups filled with red kool aid with one of those little umbrellas sitting in the beverage to keep the drink cool from the heat of the sun.

"Ah... This is the life Anon, just you and this little slice of heaven, all for you to enjoy..."

"On the contrary, my little human..."

Anon looked over to who ever was obviously planning to ruin his day and lowered his shades to get a better look at the bastard or bitch. She was an alicorn with a pitch black pelt and a mane and tail that literally shimmered with stardust, actual stars twinkled in her gaseous mane and tail like the night sky.

"Do you know who I am, little mortal?"

"No, don't care, now fuck off."

Anon raised his shades back up and turned his head back toward the ocean, obviously not giving a flying fuck about who she was. This infuriated her.

"How dare you talk to me that way! I am fear, I am the very night itself!"

"Your an annoying bitch who can't learn how to take a hint, now get lost," Anon flipped her the bird and continued not giving a shit, pissing off the pony even more than before!

"Learn your place, mortal!"

The demon pony's voice shook the very terrain, causing Anon to spill his kool aid all over his favorite shorts. "Okay now I'm pissed."

Anon got up from his lounge chair and jerked his muscles, they instantly turned into biceps and a steel hard six-pack. Anon then gave her a taste of his pimp hand, back-handing the mare so hard it knocked her off of her feet and sent her to the sandy ground in slow motion while the song 'mmm whatcha say' by Jason Derulo played in the background as she slowly descended.

"You better learn to back the fuck up before you get smacked the fuck up!"

"...You...You DARE touch the form of the all powerful Nightmare Moon!?"

Anon's muscular form had receded, turning his arms and abs to normal. Anon then laid back down in his chair, and refilled his cocoanut and... actually poored one for Nightmare Moon and handed it to her. Her telekinetic grip slowly took the item from Anon's hand.

"Listen pumpkin, do you know where we are?"

"Um... a beach?"

"Close, but no dice. See this is my dream world, I should know because first of all Lady Luck would NEVER grant me such a world all for myself. Now question two, who are you?"

The alicorn sat down and put a hoof to her barrel, then bowing to Anon. "I, my little human, am the all powerful and greatly feared incarnation of the night, Nightmare Moon."

"BZZZT! Wrongo, now try again." Anon said.

"W-what!? You do not believe me?"

"Would you like to buy a vowel?"

"Vowel? I'm fairly certain you cannot buy words... then again I did buy a lot of words from those diplomats from a thousand years back... Wait, don't change the subject!"

Anon frowned at her. "Party pooper."

"Now where was I... Ah yes, I am Nightmare Moon, the incarnate of night and ruler of shadow. My goals were to create eternal night throughout Equestria but my attempts were thwarted by-"

"Save the monologue, Queenie. Just tell me why the hell your ruining my lucid dream," Anon rudely interrupted. Nightmare Moon's expression didn't change and she simply shrugged at Anon.

"Straight to the point then? Fine, I've come to take your body to use for my own personal use." Nightmare Moon explained.

There was a short pause, then Anon began chuckling. "Ehehe, your reeeal funny there Queenie,-" Anon slowly started to levitate off of his chair, his smile turned into a small frown and his eyes pierced Nightmare Moon's being, staring into her very soul regardless of Anon's shades hiding them. "-but I think your in way over your head, simply look at the situation your in. Your in a lucid dream, that's when the dreamer knows he's dreaming."

"What's your point, human?"

Anon's smile returned but it wasn't a funny smile, it's the smirk you get when you know your gonna win without a doubt "Your in MY lucid dream, it's practically my own personal world where I rule over everything! In here, I'm a god while your just a little horse who's bitten off WAY more than she can chew."

Anon snapped his fingers and he instantly vanished, he was no where to be scene. Nightmare was a little worried but she still kept her demeanor and called Anon out. "You think you could frighten me? I am fear! One does not simply-"

"Frighten fear itself?" Anon was right behind Nightmare Moon as he finished her sentence, leaning forward so his face was visible to her from the side. He added to the creepiness by running his fingers across her neck and chin. "My confident little pony, I'm not here to frighten you..." Anon snapped his fingers and this time the hand under Nightmare's chin morphed into a very rugged edged sword, it hugged her neck threatening to slit it on the spot. Anon then spoke up again but with venom laced words. "I'm simply going to exterminate you... like glass, one strike and you'll be everywhere at once."

Then there was silence...

"Pffthahaha! Oh my god, you shoulda seen the look on your face! It was all like 'oh shit, he's really gonna kill me' Ahahaha, oh man that was some grade A funny shit." Anon was currently laughing at Nightmare Moon's blushing, confused form. She was completely thrown off gaurd by this sudden change of pace and immediately went to furious while Anon was still laughing at her.

"Enough of these games you hairless ape! I command you to submit to me or I'll take you by force!"

"Oooo, I'm so scared! Whataya gonna do, cuttle me to death-ahahaha!"

"Grrr, ENOUGH!"

The entire earth shook at Nightmare's sudden change in volume, even catching Anon's attention. She stomped up to Anon and held him in her starry mane by his neck. "I've dealt with things that weren't NEARLY as weak and pathetic as a bald primate like you! Yet you continue to pluck at my nerves like they're your own private lyre. Well news flash you stupid monkey, that was the final straw!"

Anon hung there in silence, then began to chuckle.

"What, you find it amusing to anger me-Aaaaah... Ohoho, myyy..."

Anon reached behind her ear and began to scratch, Nightmare shivered and fell to her belly with a stupid grin on her face. "About time you grew some ovaries, Queenie. I was afraid you were all bark and no bite!"

"Ohohoho...That feels so gooood... N-no! I won't fall victim to- Oh yes, right there..."

Nightmare Moon was in pure bliss, falling victim to the unbearable powers of human fingers like every other animal that's fallen victim to such tools of manipulation. As if it couldn't get any better, Anon rolls her over onto her back and begins to scratch the area between the lowest part of her barrel and the highest part of her belly, that's when her leg began to kick the air on it's own and her smile went full on stupid. "Aaahahaha, T-those fingers... even my magic can't scratch this goooood."

Anon stopped his scratching much to Nightmare Moon's hidden displeasure. "Are you ready to stop being so rude to me, or do I have to tickle you?"

"Tickle? What are you...," Nightmare Moon looked at Anon's fingers, then she slowly put the pieces together in her head. If human fingers brought such relief to a pony's itch spots she couldn't imagine what they could do to bring discomfort, so she vigorously nodded knowing better than to call Anon's bluff.

"Good! Then let's begin," Anon snapped his fingers and the world he oh so enjoyed literally shattered like glass, collapsing in on itself and leaving behind a void of pitch black nothingness.

"Where are we, human?"

"Oops, my mistake, forgot to turn on the lights," Anon clapped his hands twice, nothing happened for a few moments until a small glimmer of light could be seen rising up from the distance. It was a sun, Anon was making the sun rise on his own will alone, regardless of whether or not your dreaming that's an impressive achievment! The sun was just about to reach it's peak position when it suddenly stopped, then it quickly moved back to the ground but stopped half way giving the sky a cloudless hue of light blue. "Perfect! Now for everything else," Anon snapped his fingers and a light green orb of what Nightmare Moon guessed to be raw energy formed in Anon's open palm, he crushed it in his hand and a green shock-wave ring spread over the area and into the endless void, the force of the wave brought a gentle warmth to anyone hit by it including Nightmare Moon. "Blossom," like an arch of lightning a light green beam of energy struck the ground between the two, causing another ring to spread across the terrain. As it expanded outward it constantly shed a flurry of pink petals and the once nonexistent floor transformed into lush green grass as the wave past by. Once the wave hit Nightmare she was overwhelmed by the onslaught of petals and fell on her ass trying to cover her eyes. When she opened her eyes again she was now in a field of grass that seemed to go on forever, it also had a gentle wind that blew now and again that swayed the grass ever so gently. Anon gestured Nightmare Moon over to him then snapped his fingers once again, this time a small table rose from the grass with a tea kettle and two bowls of soba. "Alright Miss Nightmare Moon, let's begin with your story, shall we?"

(Twilight's POV)

Twilight had woken up a while ago but for an odd reason Anon wouldn't awaken. She tried spells, loud noises, even Spike used his claws to try to poke him awake but it was futile. After a while he started to give off an ominous aura, which scared Twilight a good bit. However she knew that the princess was going to arrive today, so it was only a matter of time before he would wake up. "Hang on Anon, help will arrive soon."

(Anon's dream)

"Ahaha, n-no more human, I can't take it-Ahahaha!"

"Hang on, I got another one. So we humans have these things called planes," Anon pointed at the sky and a small airport plane hovered over his finger "We use them for transportation across the sky."

Nightmare observed the large machine, it kinda reminded her of a bird. "I see, continue."

Anon starts his story with Nightmare Moon's word. "Kay, so I'm flying in one of these things to visit my father in a place called Ohio, once we were all seated the pilot greets the passengers and gives them the estimated flight time from point A to B. The guy forgets to turn off the intercom and says, and I quote 'Man, what I wouldn't do for a cup of coffee and a blowjob right now.'"

"Wait human, What is a blowjob?" Anon leaned into Nightmare Moon's ear and whispered an explanation, she blushed and then giggled as she realized how it played in Anon's story. "Oh, you humans are quite creative,"

"Hang on Nightmare, it get's worse. So after the good laughs me and the passengers had I see a flight attendant rush to the cockpit, which is where the pilot flies the plane, so she could inform the pilot that he's made a complete jackass of himself. Before she enters I flag her down and say 'Ma'am,you forgot the pilot's coffee!'"

"Pffhahahaha, oh you are a clever little monkey Anon." Nightmare Moon said in a happy voice she'd never brought up before.

"Yeah, wanna know the worst part though? They STILL forgot to turn off the intercom!"

Nightmare Moon gave him a questioning look "Yeah, so what?

"You ever heard really messed-up airplane sex through an intercom for two hours straight? I guarantee you there wasn't a single straight face that entire flight including my own!"

Nightmare Moon's face lit up like a Christmas tree, and the suppressed smile was really adorable on the mare. "A-Anon, ghk Y-you really souldn't talk to a lady like tha-Ahahaha I-I can't breath! I can't- Ahahaha!"

"Geez Nightmare, calm down! It wasn't that funny you know," Anon said in surprise.

Nightmare Moon recovered from the laughing fit and flicked a tear from her eye. "Whew, i have not laughed like that since I was a filly! I misjudged you Anon, I thought you were just another one of Celestia's flank-kissers but it takes real guts to act like a complete idiot then threaten to kill me in a span of five minutes... Your alright human, much more entertaining than those sun loving ponies."

"Thanks Nightmare, your not to bad yourself... Say, didn't you want my body for yourself?"

"I have no interest in stealing your body human, I wouldn't wanna kill something like you." Nightmare Moon said in genuine honesty.

"Well... couldn't we share my body? You know, two souls inhabit a single vessel?"

"You would... do that for me human?"

"Hey, What are friends for?"

A single tear slithered down Nightmare Moon's cheek, then a small smile formed on her face. "Friend?... I've... never had a friend before."

"Well, you do now Nightmare." Anon held out a hand for Nightmare Moon, accepted Anon's gesture and shook his hand starting a long living friendship.

(Twilight's POV)

"This is Anonymous the human, Princess Celestia. Normally he doesn't sleep for fourteen hours straight and this strange aura has been leaking from his body, can you help him?"

The princess was silent for a moment, then she spoke. "I'm afraid... I cannot help this one you call Anonymous. This aura is indeed far from normal, it is the same aura that corrupted my sister long ago... Anonymous must settle this in his mind, and we may never know when he will wake up or if he will awaken at all. I know this is a lot to take in but-"

The ominous aura receded and Anon woke up. He slowly sat up and then trudged to the coffee maker, which surprised Anon since a place that lacks printers has already invented coffee makers. Once his miracle elixir was made he was ready to wonder why an over-sized white unicorn-pegasus hybrid was in his sleeping quarters. "Uh, who are you?"

"I am Princess Celestia, and you must be the alien my student wrote about. Since you are awake I can only assume you defeated that evil entity known as Nightmare Moon without trouble, right?"

"Defeat? Not exactly, Princess. We sorta came to a truce over a nice bowl of soba and some good jokes," Anon explained while sipping his coffee.

"You... didn't defeat her?"

"We decided to share my body and be friends, if I'm correct she's currently NOT looking through my deepest memories."

"Aww, your no fun Anon."

"Hey, I got some private stuff locked up in there!"

"Anon? Who are you talking to?"

"Nightmare Moon. I told you she shares my body now didn't I?"

Nightmare Moon spoke up again in a sarcastic voice inside Anon's head."Anon sweetie, could you stop talking to the voice inside your head with your outside voice? You'll look crazy if you don't talk with your mind."

"Sorry honey, I'll try not to make an idiot out of ourselves." Anon retorted in his head.

Celestia broke the silence. "So Anon, would you like to tell me the story of how you arrived here?"

"Nah." Anon walked out the door, ignoring the large mass of curious ponies outside the library."I'll be visiting Fluttershy if you need my Twilight!"

Author's Note

Sorry this one took a bit longer than planned, but here it is! Welp, I'll see you guys and gals next time on... Anon's Adventures in Ponyland!