ne'er–do–wells of the night watch.

Across the apple orchard, there lay a single man. Sleeping, so calm and happy. Nobody to disturb him.

Except the apple that fell on his head.

“YOU SHITHEAD APPLE.” The man yelled, shooting up and stomping on the apple, squashing it and smearing apple liquids all over his shoe.

This, was Mike Schmidt.

After his little episode, Mike looked around. Noticing nothing familiar. How did he get here? Last time he checked he was sleeping in an office chair. Now he was outside surrounded by apples and nasty shit. A snap came from behind him as he picked an apple off the tree, flipping around and throwing the apple at the source of sound, he noticed what it was.

It was a tiny little yellow horse. With red hair or whatever and a bow tie. It wiped off its face and stared at Mike. Mike stared at it. Mike May have seemed like a tough asshole on the outside (which he really was mostly) but on the inside he was intrigued by the thing. Mike made it his mission to out stare the horse thing that was sweating profoundly.

Eventually he got bored.

“BOO!” He yelled right in the pony’s face, scaring the colours (literally) off it. It screamed so loud as it ran off. scared off all the birds… Mike’s eardrums were still ringing. He started walking off, heading down a path in the orchard. After a bit he started humming the tune to Freddy’s music box. It was a song he hear a lot. Mike almost died a lot on his early nights at Fazfucks.

Voices came from down the path, Mike assumed it might have been more horse things. Should he try to talk with them? They sounded like they were speaking English. At this range it was hard to tell. Playing it safe he jumped off the side of the path into the bushes.

2 pony things walked down the path. A butter yellow one with… Wings? And a regular orange one.

“What the hell…” Mike whispered to himself.

When they were gone far enough down the path he climbed out of the bushes onto the path.

“Hey I see it!” A voice came from the sky, Mike turned around to see what it was. He never saw it. A rainbow blur shot down towards him, slamming into his chest with enough force to knock him down. And unconscious.

.....

Jeremy woke in a forest that everybody could describe as “holy shit, this is spooky.”

He put on his hat and neglected the fact that he wasn't with his teddy bear and set off in or out of the forest, with barley and light he took the flashlight off his belt and started to walk through the forest.

“What would Mike do..?!” Jeremy continued asking himself, Mike was the brother Jeremy never had and they were almost polar opposites. Jeremy continued his fridge throughout the dark swampy rainforest until he found a small house with painted masks on the walls. Jeremy immediately thought the worst and imagined himself getting eaten by cannibals inside the house.

‘Better safe than sorry…’ He thought as he walked around the house and down a path that was connected to it. Eventually he heard a loud scream and ran towards were it came from. While he was running, the dark canopy of the forest cleared up and he found a smushed up apple at the edge of an apple orchard. Looking around he found a name tag that was face first in the dirt. Picking it up and brushing it off it became apparent at it was Mike’s name tag. Jeremy smiled, knowing that Mike was nearby if his name tag was here. He was also happy that he wasn't alone in a world with cannibals and spooky forests. He heard running coming from down a the path and looked towards it.

Colourful horses. Jeremy's worst nightmare.

“AHH!” He screamed and strayed to run, but was caught shortly after in what appeared to be a purple force field around his body. One of the horse things, a white one shot something out of it… UNICORN HORN?! OH GOD!

The sparkle touched Jeremy and his strength fell, albeit without a fight. Then He was sound asleep.

…..

Fritz awoke on a soft bed, not unlike his own. As his senses returned, his nose was flooded with the scent of flowers and green tea. He opened his eyes and found he wasn't in his bed, but instead in some sort of shaman hut, unusual but beneficial. He stood up and straightened out his glasses. He walked over to a window to check out wherever he was and did not like what he saw.

‘Oh gosh. This place is terrifying.’ He though to himself as he saw the surrounding dark swampy forest, until the scent of boiled potatoes filled his nose. Immediately drawn to the scent and away from the window he found potatoes sitting in the mixing pot in the middle of the small hut. Resisting the urge to eat the delicious foods, he looked around to tell him where exactly he was.

There was a note set down on a table across the room. Fritz made his way over to it and picked it up and read it;

‘Dear Zecora.

We request you return to the tribe for the summer, as it is a time for celebration and what celebration is wonderful without the village shaman? Please come home soon. The children would love to hear about Equestria as much as I would.

• Tribe leader Red Smoke.’

“Huh. I guess these potatoes are for me then.” Fritz said, taking the steamy potatoes out of the vat with care. Fritz brought them up to his face and took a bite.

Best potatoes he ever had. Fritz had a bad  habit of checking the cameras when he filled in for that other guy… Jeremy I thing his name was. I guess it also applied to windows because he continued looking out them. Eventually he saw Jeremy outside the window and almost choked on the bite of potato in his mouth. As he was about to yell out to get is attention, his body froze up and he fell to the floor, a note landing next to him that was inter the letter he read.

‘ P.S, don’t eat the potatoes. They have a temporary spell mixed in them to freeze up all muscles for about and hour.’

‘Dirty no good potatoes…’ He thought before falling asleep because he had nothing better to do.

Fritz awoke a few hours later to a familiar sounding scream.

…..

Scott was running full speed through a dark creepy forest. Turns out wolves made of wood hate phones. What a bunch of racists. The wolf pounced and clawed into his lower right leg, causing him to yell in pain and fall.

“AH FUCK!” He smashed his back off the dirt, popping the phone off his head. The wolf pounced on him again, ready for kill until a potato hit him in the head. Feeling around he felt a… Knife? Why was there a knife here? Picking it up and trying to stand he got a look at who threw the potato. Fritz. They met once.

The wolf jumped on him again, potato pelting was ineffective! Getting a grip on the hand of the knife, he swung it around into the wolfs lower jaw, going into the bottom and out the top. The wolf howled in agony until a purple blob tackled of into the bushes.

Scott stood back up and Fritz walked next to him.

“No…” Scott whispered to himself.

“What?” Fritz asked a little scared.

“It's him.” He said, dropping the knife on the ground.

“Hey mister ring ring…”

The wolf sappy shrapnel exploded out of the bush, along with a murderer. “Who's that?” Fritz asked.

“IT DOESN’T MATTER JUST RUN!” Scott yelled and grabbed Fritz’s arm and ran out of the forest.

Vincent grabbed the knife off the ground and ran after them.

They burst out of the forest, into the open sunny plains. Spotting a barn and farmhouse in the distance they made a full blown sprint towards it, Vincent just walking out of the tree-line.

Eventually they heard multiple sets of footsteps behind them, flipping around they saw a group of 6 horse things carrying Mike, Jeremy and Vincent, who were all unconscious.

“OH GOD!” Scott yelled, tripping and getting knocked out, while Fritz continued running until he was also hit by a purple bolt of light.