ne'er–do–wells of the night watch.

Mike woke up, apparently being the last to do so because Jeremy was awake next to him, Scott was trying to break down a door with fritz or whatever his name was and Vincent was in a corner. After examining their surroundings they established they were in a barn, left with some apples and they have been captured by flying wizard horses in horse land.

“It's not the weirdest thing I've ever seen.” Scott said, looking over to Vincent, who just did his trademark smile. Jeremy fumbled around with the flashlight and eventually every just sat down up agains a wall in a line. Fritz bit into an apple, the flavours exploded in his mouth as his tastebuds each had an individual orgasm.

“THE APPLES ARE SO GOOD.” He said as if eating the apples would save their lives. He handed one to everyone and they sat in scilence, eating apples.

“Did anybody notice and escape route?” Mike asked, tired of sitting on hay already.

“The lock on the window is almost broken. If we has some sort of large object we could break it.” Scott said.

Everybody looked at Fritz.

“You guys are assholes."

…..

The ponies sat at a table outside of the barn, the princess had told them the guards had noticed an unmarked building inside the city and searched it for any owners or employees. In their minimal search of the building they found employee files for 4 staff members. Joke of which were ponies. Tracking them using and elaborate spell, hey were located around Ponyville and sent to ‘acquire’ them. The princess didn't want to take any chances and made sure they had to be locked in the barn and left with some food.

“What even are they?” Rarity asked Twilight, who was madly flipping through a book. “There outfits were nice. Except the purple one…” Rarity shivered at the thought of the purple uniform Vincent wore.

“Not sure. They appear to be humans.” Twilight said, sounding a bit unsure of herself.

“Aren't those extinct?” Fluttershy asked, being the animal whisperer and best friend she is.

“That's the thing. The aren’t anymore of those are humans.” Twilight said. “We should probably do a double check of the barn.” Twilight said closing her book and receiving a huff from Applejack. She assured Twilight the barn was safe as the Canterlot vault, but Twilight had to make sure. The mares circled the barn until they heard a countdown from inside. Above them was a window on the side of the barn.

“3!”

The ponies stepped back. “That doesn't sound good…” Fluttershy said.

“2!”

The ponies stepped even further back.

“1!” They all yelled from inside, louder than before.

“AAAASSSS-

The window smashed open and someone flew out like a sack of potatoes.

“-HOOOOOOOLLLLES!”

Fritz hit the ground and didn't get up. He wasn't in pain, well… He was. But he just didn't want to get up.

Everyone else climbed out the window and jumped onto the dirt. A few feet away from the ponies.

Mike helped Fritz up and they got in a line, put on the angriest faces and poses possible and waited for the ponies to make a move.

Mike cracked his knuckles.

Jeremy got his flashlight in whacking position.

Fritz grabbed some apples and readied his arm.

Scott took the phone off his head and held it like a sword.

Vincent drew a knife.

Then Chris walked up.

“What's going on here?” He asked.

“Chris shut up and help us beat up horse things.” Mike said, pulling Chris into the line.

“Okay.”

Chris got his mop in the light-sabre position.

The ponies gulped, but nevertheless were ready for a fight.

Twilight stood across from Scott and readied her magic.

Applejack stood across from Mike and reader her hind legs for bucking.

Pinkie stood across from Fritz and aimed a cannon of confetti at his face.

Fluttershy stood across from Jeremy and they waved to each other.

Rarity stood across from Vincent and readied a barrage of needles. Vincent immediately paled at the sight.

Rainbow Dash stood across from Chris, and readied for an air assualt.

They all readied their weapons and waited for a move… Anything for a reason to attack.

And then AJ pawed the ground. Everybody took this as a threat and collided with each other.

.....

Mike and AJ were rolling around in just… A ball. Sucking in anything around them just for the point of beating the crap out of one another.

Chris was swinging his mop (what a fucking amazing weapon by the way) blocking every kick Rainbow sent at him, shocking and making Rainbow more determined.

Pinkie aimed her part cannon at Fritz, who had no idea it shot confetti. “OH JESUS!” He yelled, tossing an apple at Pinkie with some much force it launched her back into the orchard. Fritz looked down at his arm.

“Too bad I don’t play baseball.”

Rarity continued poking Vincent with needles. He was curled up on the ground screaming in fear. Strong traits for a murderer.

Scott was charging Twilight, who would occasionally fire a blot of magic back at him.

And through it all…

Fluttershy and Jeremy were sitting down, hugging without even knowing.

…..

Eventually everyone ended up sitting at different picnic tables. Eating apples again. Drinking apple juice. Bleeding.

Mike took of his hat and everyone gasped.

“What?” He asked. It looked like everyone was looking over him.

“What?!” He demanded, looking at everyone.

“Mike… T-theres b-b-blood coming out of yo-your stitches…” Jeremy said.

Mike wiped the frontal part of his head, smearing a ton of blood on his sleeve. It didn't really matter, his uniform was already caked in dirt.

“Oh boy.” He said, going back to eating an apple.

Fluttershy hopped off the table the ponies were seated at and walked over to Mike. She was the only one who seemed to think they weren't the bad guys. And for good reason. They got locked in a barn.

“Um… Excuse me…” Fluttershy tried to remember what is name was. “Mike..?” She said, Mike looked over to her.

“Yeah?” He said, seemingly calm.

“Why do you have stitches?” When she said ‘Why do’ all the guards lost their shit, trying every gesture to get he to stop.

“My best friend murdered me when I was a little kid.” He said with no emotion and went back to eating his apple.

Fluttershy was extremely saddened by the fact that someone's best friend tried to kill them. Unfortunately, none of the other ponies heard him, so Fluttershy will probably have to tell them. She went and at back down.

“What about his stitches Fluttershy? Why does he have them?” Rainbow immediately asked when she sat down.

All the ponies were eager to hear Mike’s amazing tale of the bite of 87’.

“His best friend killed him when he was a just a child…” She said, making everypony confused.

“Wait… If he got murdered as a kid why is he alive right now?” Twilight asked.

“I don’t know…” Fluttershy said.

Twilight went over to Mike to ask him.

“Hey. How are you alive if you got killed?” She said in the most ‘in your face’ tone.

“Because the soul of a little girl HE murdered,” he pointed at Vincent “and possessed me and kept me alive. I'm like her dad.” Mike said, scaring and making Twilight almost cry at the thought.

She went back to her table and told everypony.

Mike felt around his pockets until he felt the soft lump on his right pocket, pulling out his toque and putting it on his head to cover up the stitches without wearing that hat.

“What are we waiting for again?” Scott yelled over to the ponies table.

“The princess!” Twilight yelled back.

…..

Earlier…

A letter popped in princess Celestia’s face and she caught it with her magic, unravelling it she was furious at the words on it.

‘Hey princess. No time for formalities. Send help. The employees are human and they escaped and there standing with weapons in-front of us. Help.’

“Assemble a chariot and a squad of elites.” She said, closing her eyes and dropping the letter.

“May I ask why?” A servant asked.

The princess opened her eyes with newfound Agnes at the thought these people could hurt her student.

“Were going to Ponyville.”