A Crusadin We Will Go

In a Juvenile Hall courthouse, a case was going on to prosecute two colts and a filly. Who identified themselves as Cutie Mark Crusaders.

"Your honor" the prosecutor said to Judge Gavel "these three should receive the maximum punishment. Their guilt is proved by the evidence, and their evasive attitude. Just look at them."

Three young ponies stood on the stand, Snips, Snails, and Babs Seed. Snips and Snails stood still, stone faced, while Babs stood between them a few steps back, and looked off in the distance.

"Remember you have sworn to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth" the prosecutor told the ponies "Now were you or were you not, on the night of June the thirteenth, in Ms. Fluttershy's chicken coop?"

"Sointly not" Snips said after turning to the prosecutor "I was in the house."

"What house?"

"The dog house" Snails replied, which produced a nyuck, nyuck, nyuck, nyuck from Snips.

Babs knocked the two colts heads together in annoyance before they resumed their evasive stances.

"Mister prosecutor, you have not proved that those three were ever in that chicken coop" Judge Gavel said "Your evidence is purely circumstantial and insufficient to warrant a conviction."

"What's he talkin about?" Snips asked in a hushed tone.

"Quiet, he means we ain't guilty" Babs said.

"Oh boy!" Snips said as they all stood to go free, before pulling out a hat that released a large amount of chicken feathers.

Snips panicked before taking any feathers he could gather and putting them on his head.

"Dandruff" he lied.

"And in the future Officer Sentry" the Judge continued "Don't come crawling to me with flimsy charges against law abiding ponies. Dismissed."

"Mm" Snips said as he gave the officer a dismissive wave.

Babs walked up and gave Sentry (Yes. Brad Sentry) a snap of her hoof before leaving. Hooves. How do they work? Snails soon did the same. Snips followed, but no snap came. He put his hoof to his ear and shook it, which produced a dice shake sound, and ended in a snap. He attempted to give Officer Sentry a snap again, only to have the same result. He started shaking his hoof again, but was given a soft annoyed kick in the rump by the officer, making him leave.

For the sake of the story, Fla- I mean Brad is wingless.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders were involved in their next crusade. Fishing.

Babs held the pole, while Snips and Snails stood behind her. Babs smacked away Snips' hoof when he tried to hold the pole as well. Babs finally got a bite from one of the large fish in the display tank in front of the pet store.

Officer Sentry was walking by across the street and caught sight of this. Babs brought back the pole and put the fish into the net Snips was holding.

"Hm. A barra-cutey. And what a cutey. Now go get me a freckled trout."

Officer Sentry began to make his way over tot he other side of the street after they placed the fish into a picnic basket.

Babs turned her attention back to the display tank, when she noticed a store employee close by.

"Jiggers" she said, alerting her cohorts to hide against the wall of the store.

Snips ended up bumping into a pony mannequin dressed as a cop. He felt it's chest and felt the fake badge. He turned around with a nervous face and was startled back when he saw it was a fake.

"Oh a cop ay?" he said before shoving the dummy, causing it to stumble forward and hit him.

"Oh. Pushing ponies huh? You see that?" he raised an arm to flex, and then used it to punch the dummy. He then flicked it's tie away with a chuckle and turned back to Snails and Babs, not noticing Officer Sentry arriving.

"Ya know? All my life I've always wanted to sock a cop right in the nose. Watch this one."

Snails and Babs turned around and became nervous upon seeing Officer Sentry. Snips turned back around to repeat his last action, not seeing Officer Sentry's face.

"You see that? Ah, I showed you that before. Well I've got another one." Snips turned Sentry's head and pulled back his arm, only for Sentry's head to turn back with the pull. Snips repeated his action, still not getting it. When Sentry turned his head back again, he bonked Snips on the head before he could throw a punch. Snips finally got it, and he and his friends ran off.

Sentry began to chase after the Crusaders.

"Come back here!"

On a stage outdoors, The Great and Powerful Trrrrrrixie was giving a performance using two cabinets and her assistant, Diamond Tiara.

"Yes, yes, come one, come all. Step right up everypony. As you can see, the little filly is in this cabinet. Trixie shall now close the door, and crossing to the other cabinet, she will fire the magic beam."

Trixie shot off a beam of magic into the air.

"And what have we in here? The little filly" Trixie opened the door of the second cabinet, revealing to Snips and Diamond Tiara standing on either side, facing each other, which made everypony laugh. Snips' head was swaying left and right as he stared at Diamond Tiara dreamily. DT had her eyebrows knitted in confusion and slight discomfort as her eyes shifted left and right.

Trixie looked inside the cabinet in surprise. And Snips finally took notice.

"Hey this is private. MMM" he said with a dismissive wave before closing the door to the cabinet.

"Well, ha-ha, it looks as though the little filly has picked up a coltfriend" Trixie said after getting over the surprise "Well Trixie will take him away from her. Again firing the magic beam" she said as Officer Sentry arrived.

Trixie shot off another beam.

"And now we have in here" she opened the door, revealing all three Crusaders in place of Diamond Tiara.

"Don't yell at me!"

"This is the safest place!"

"Shut up there's no room for an argument in here!"

"Oh there you are!" Officer Sentry said before coming to the stage.

"AaaaaaaaH!" the CMC said nervously as they closed the door. Sentry got up on the stage and tried to open the cabinet door.

"Come on out you three, you're under arrest"

The CMC emerged from under the stage, behind the cloth covering the stage, and ran off.

"What is this nonsense?" Trixie demand "Trixie paid a license so that she may present her amazing magic skills to the public" she was cut off as Sentry pushed her aside slightly after seeing the CMC and running after them.

The CMC skidded to a halt in front of a carriage and bumped into each other. The carriage read "Mario's Plumbing", ha-ha.

"Quick. Into the back of the carriage" Babs told Snips and Snails before getting into the front. She whipped the rains of the two driver stallions that were waiting, sending them into a run.

Officer Sentry jumped onto the attached wheeled ramp of the carriage, and had to steady himself.

Snips barked at Sentry before Snails pointed to the connector bolt.

"Let it go."

Snips pulled out the bolt with a nyuck nyuck nyuck. The ramp continued to move from the momentum, and veered off course. it eventually hit a curb, throwing Sentry off and crashing into a stack of paint cans, releasing red paint all over him.

Babs pulled on the rains, signaling the driver stallions to stop. The stallions skidded to a halt in front of a rich pony's house. The momentum of the stop caused Snips and Snails to fall out of the carriage. Babs got out of the front and walked up to the boys.

"Why don't ya call ya stops?

"This is far enough I guess"

"Where are we?"

"Who cares? So long as we're not in Juvie."

"Hey!"

The CMC reacted alarmingly to the shout of an older butler pony behind them.

"I sent for you plumbers an hour ago. Now get in there and fix that leak before it gets any worse."

"Who told you we're plumbers? How do ya like this guy?"

Then the CMC saw a red painted Sentry coming towards them on a bike.

"NYA!"

"We're plumbers!" Snips said nervously as they all got bags of.

"Three of the best plumbers that ever plumbed a plumb!"

Snips magically gripped a bag full of long pipes, and didn't watch where he was turning them. The butler got a knock to the head.

"Whoow-w-w-w-whoo"

Randal lead the three into the house.

"Nice joint you got here; where's the leak Jeeves?"

"In the basement"

"Where's the basement?"

"Upstairs"

"To the basement!"

"To the basement!"

"To the basement" Snips knocked over a flower pot when he turned, which the butler thankfully caught.

Randall looked worried when he heard a crashing sound ahead.

The CMC corrected them selves and went downstairs this time.

"To the basement!" "To the basement!" "To the basement!" "Whoowhoowhoo, whoo, whoo"

They began running in a circle once they reached the bottom and slipped on the wet floor before noticing the leaky pipe.

"Hey. Here it is."

"All right. On the tips of your hooves colts"

Snips released his magic hold on the bag of pipes, causing them to land on Babs' front hoof.

"Ow! Not my hooves.

"What do you know about plumbing?" she asked Snails.

"Nothing"

"That's fine, gimme a hoof."

Snails held out a hoof, earning him a slap from Babs.

"A simple job for simple ponies"

"How can you fix it while it's leakin?"

"I wonder where you shut the water off?"

"I got an idea"

"What is it?"

Snips began to move his hoof up and down in the air, Babs following its movement.

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of water. That's it" Snips finished. He put his hoof down but Babs continued looking up and down by Snips' lead.

"That's what?"

"Water always runs down hill"

"........On your way"

"Where?"

"Up the hill and shut off the water"

"O-o-o-o-okay" Snips said while nodding rapidly, which Babs repeated. She shifted in anger once Snips left.

"Gimme a wrench for the pipe" Babs told Snails.

Snails complied and gave her a wrench while he took a hammer in his magic grip. She reached up and gripped the pipe with the wrench, but the pipe didn't budge.

"Give it a tap to get things started"

Snails lightly tapped the pipe a few times.

"What's the matter muscles, ya weak? Hit it."

Snails brought the hammer back hard and hit the pipe, accidentally punching a hole in the steam pipe behind them, releasing smoke. Snails looked back in alarm and saw his mistake.

"Hey, you smokin?"

"No but the pipe is"

"What the eh" Babs said in surprise at hearing this and seeing for herself "Why you snail brain. You wanna get us suffocated? Put some tape on it"

"We forgot the tape"

"Well we had to forget somethin or we wouldn't be plumbers. Now go on and find somethin to wrap around it."

Snails went off in search of something while Babs put a hoof to the pipe, burning herself.

"Ah!"

Snails returned and stretched out a corset in his magical grip.

"Look, a straight jacket."

Babs momentarily looked startled before narrowing her eyes at him.

"Where did you get that?"

"Found it in the trunk"

"Oh. Well get it up there"

Snails threw the corset over the pipe and laced the bottom while Babs helped.

"Huh. Perfect thirty-six. Hook it up. I wonder what you do with these?" she said indicating to some square tassels.

"Swing on 'em you know?" he said before he grabbed hold of them with his hooves.

"Don't you" Babs said as Snails was about to attempt to swing. She quickly discouraged him by pulling back a hoof with a mean face.

Upstairs, Snips with the pipe bag in tow, came to the bathroom door where he heard the shower running. He assumed this was the water to shut off and entered. The shower curtains were closed, and Snips knocked on the non-existent door behind them.

"Anypony at home?"

"I say there" Fancy Pants said as he poked his head out through the curtains.

"Oh you've got an upper ey?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Why? Whatcha do?"

"I'm taking a bawth"

"Taking a bath?"

"A bawth"

"Bawth, bath, bawth. You've gotta get outta. I'm gonna shut off this water. Now get goin." he finished as he pulled back the curtains, forcing a toweled Fancy Pants to leave.

"Arf! Left over from New Year's ey?"

Snips turned the knob of the shower, but the water continued to flow in a smaller amount.

"Mm. Stubborn ey?

And he didn't bother to try the others before taking a wrench to the one he had turned all the way. This caused the knob to fall off, and a stream of water to come out of the hole. Snips nervously covered it with his hoof, stopping it. Then he dropped the wrench in the tub and removed his hoof while looking around for it. He noticed that no water was emerging.

"Oh"

He looked in the hole, only for the stream to start again and hit him in the face.

"MMM "

This time he used his hat from earlier to stop the stream, and got the same result when he peeked. But now the stream was coming without end.

"MMM Arf!"

:facehoof:  Snips sat down on the edge of the tub in frustration and tried to think of a solution.

Back in the basement, the pipe continued to trickle water.

"I wonder why that egg head don't shut that water off"

Snips picked up a shovel with his magic.

"Hey I saw a guy shut the water off once in the front yard."

"When I want your advice I'll ask for it. Now go out in the front yard and shut the water off."

Snails turned, not looking where the shovel was, and hitting Babs in the flank, causing her to stumble foreword and hit her head on the furnace.

Snails looked at her nervously, when she picked up a pickax and began to approach him.

"Why you"

Snails quickly ran upstairs.

Snips was about done screwing a pipe into the faucet hole and chuckled triumphantly, only to see the other end of the pipe releasing water. He grabbed another pipe only to get the same result, with the other pipe pointing in a different direction, now outside the shower. He muttered frustratingly every time.

Snails began to dig into the yard while Babs worked on the pipe.

In the kitchen, the cook was washing the dishes, when the sink faucet suddenly turned upside down, startling him. This was the result of Babs finally turning the pipe with the wrench. The cook looked on curiously, only for the faucet to start turning continuously, which he attempted to stop by grabbing hold of it, only to accidentally break it off.

Babs accidentally caused the pipe to detach from the one it was conjoined to, releasing a large amount of water.

"Whoa!"

She attempted to rejoin them, causing a stream of water to shoot into the cook's face twice.

"Nyuck nyuck I got it" Snips said as he removed his hooves from either side of a double opening in a  pipe over his head.

"Nya ah ah!" he said when water began to flow out again. Then he saw that he had somehow managed to build a cage of pipes around himself.

"Ah Ah! Hey Snails! Hey Babs! I'm-I'm surrounded." he then saw a solution if you want to call it that. He picked up a hoof drill and crouched down to the floor.

"I gotta get this water out!" and he started drilling into the floor.

The butler arrived at Snails' location and was outraged. Snails had dug up to his knees.

"Stop it! Stop it! You're ruining the lawn."

"Don't tell me how to run my business. Beat it" he said before resuming his shoveling.

"Put that sod back where it belongs" which got him a solid piece of sod in the face from the oblivious Snails. Making him leave in frustration.

Babs gave one last tight turn on the reattached pipe, finally stopping the leak.

"Who said you need brains to be a plumber? Hahaha!" she said before she felt a stream of water hit her head.

She moved out of the way to look up at where the water was coming from.

"Hey!"

Snips continued to drill holes.

"Turn it off! Plug it up! Of-" another stream forced her to move away.

"Don't you hear what I tel-" she threw down her wrench in frustration after another stream, and moved to the other side that didn't follow her.

Drill, drill, drill.

"This ain't a house; it's a sieve!"

Snips suddenly fell through with a large amount of water, taking the other half of the pipe with him, that hadn't been the problem.

"Why you lamebrain, you" Babs said angrily as she picked Snips up.

"Look what'ya did to the pipe!" she said after noticing the damage. She gave his muzzle a turn of the wrench.

"Whoa-ow!"

"Go on and get another piece of pipe"

"I resent that!"

"What are ya gonna do about it?"

"Get another piece of pipe I guess" he said casually, earning him a knock on the back of the head when he turned.

"OW! ARF!"

Snips went to a vertical pipe attached to a box on the wall, and didn't see that on the side it said 110 volts. He pulled the pipe away and saw wires coming out of it, leading to the box. He began to pull them out and realized they were rather long.

"Hey, no wonder the water don't work. The pipe is plugged up with wires."

"A fine place for wires. Well pull 'em out and get that pipe over here" she replied before attaching a small extension to the end of the remaining pipe.

Snips began to pull out the wires with his magic, and became frustrated when they still didn't end.

"Mmm M!" and he began to pull and pull and pull.

Back in the kitchen, the cook was stirring something and gave a cautious glance at the sink. He then heard a clinking sound and recoiled in surprise when he turned to see the light bulb in the ceiling moving up and down.

Snips continued to pull, the wires still not ending.

"MM! :facehoof:" and pull and pull.

A clock was above the cook on the wall, when it's arms began to spin rapidly while changing directions. The cook glanced up at the sound momentarily, and recoiled when looking at it again. The arms spun until the clock fell off the wall into the cooks bowl, splattering him with the mix.

Pull and pull.

"This has gotta end some place!"

Pull and pull.

"Neh eh!"

Pull

:ajbemused:

Pull faster and faster.

Out in the yard, Snails was no longer visible as he continued to shovel dirt onto the large pile he created.

A large amount of wire was piled up beside Snips, when he finally reached the end.

"Oh. The end of the line. Ha-hah!"

"Hurry up with that pipe!"

"Okay" he said in a sheesh like manner before pulling the pipe over. He held it up as Babs screwed it in.

"Straighten her up so I can line her up"

"Here we go! Ha-ha-ha-ha! Yeah!"

Back in the kitchen, the cook was looking around to attempt to figure this all out. He switched on the light, and the light bulb was filled with water until it burst. The cook looked up in surprise at the pop and saw water running out of socket.

"This house has sure gone crazy!"

"If it wasn't for me where would we be?" Babs asked as she finished screwing in the pipe.

The cook suddenly had his face hit by a shower stream coming out of the top of the stove. The knobs didn't seem to help as he attempted to stop it. The floor now covered in water, he slipped and fell  numerous times on his way out of the kitchen.

The cook reentered now in a raincoat and hat to fight the water. He made it to the stove and tried all the knobs, which did nothing. He placed a pot upside down over the stream, only for it to get pushed off. He finally decided he had enough, and made his way out whilst slipping and falling.

To those who know what this is, I'm sure you can identify when I say it was this scene that ultimately had me put Snails in this role.

Out in a separate part of the yard, Snails' head emerged from the ground and looked around.

"I'll find this thing or else" he said before retreating into the ground.

In the spacious living room, the mistress of the house was holding a get together, and was about to show off her new T.V.

"Now friends, I know you'll enjoy a demonstration of my new television receiver. You'll not only hear the broadcast, but actually see it on this screen."

The guests all murmured excitedly as she turned on the set.

"This is station WX-12" said an announcer "making a television broadcast direct from Neighagra Falls. Are you ready Neighagra Falls? Let her go.

A visual broadcast of the Falls appeared with sound, fascinating the guests.

"Isn't this thrilling?"

When suddenly a large wave of water burst out of the set, pushing a mare to the ground, alarming the guests.

"What is this? What's happening?" the mistress asked the butler.

"It's the plumbers madam. And they're wrecking the house."

"Well I'll put a stop to that. I'll call Mario."

The mistress picked up the telephone receiver, only to put it down when a jet stream of water hit her face.

Back in the basement, Babs and Snips were finishing up.

"Gimme the torch"

"Right." Snips picked up the torch and turned to Babs, accidentally unleashing a stream of fire on her flank.

"Owow!"

Snips put down the torch and ran off in fear.

"Why you dummy you"

"Whoop whoo"

Snips made for the stairs just as the mistress opened the door to the basement with the butler in tow. Babs grabbed, Snips' waded up, wet hat to throw at him.

"Nya ah ah ah!"

"You imbe-cyle!" she threw the hat, only for it to hit the mistress in the face after Snips had ducked.

The mistress closed the door and leaned against it in frustration.

"This is terrible"

"Get those hoodlums out of this house" she told the butler "I'll take my guests to the garden."

She was suddenly pushed forward into the butlers arms as a result of Snips opening the door.

"Don't mind me I'm only the plumber" he said before running off.

Snips ran into the bathroom and skidded to a halt, turning around the door after avoiding the large hole he had made/.

"That thing's dangerous" he said before using the bathroom rug to cover it up. He exited with the empty pipe bag.

Judge Gavel arrived, dressed casually.

"What's going on here?" he demanded of the butler.

"It's the plumbers sir. And they've completely wrecked the bathroom."

"They have?! " he said before proceeding to the room.

In the basement, Snails had rejoined his fellow crusaders.

"Nice job guys"

They all looked hopefully at their flanks, only to see them still blank.

"Oh"

"Well at least we gat paid. Let's go up and collect for the job."

Above, Judge Gavel was outraged by the scene in the bathroom.

"Just look at this place! I whoa!" he said, not knowing the rug was covering a large hole before stepping foreword.

Gavel fell through and took out a large portion of the steam pipe on his way down.

"Who is that?! What's the matter with you?! Why you dummy! You ruined a hard days work!" Babs said as she and the boys picked him up.

"Nya ah ah! The Judge!" Snips said, sending the three off into a run while being chased by the angered judge, who now held a piece of pipe.

"Why you!"

The mistress and her gusts were outside, with a new and previously seen form of entertainment.

"My treat for the afternoon. The Great and Powerful Trixie, the great and powerful magician."

"Officer!" the butler called out to the policemen as the CMC rushed past him, causing him to stumble to the ground.

"WHOO W-W-W-WHOO!"

"Get those three officer!" the judge yelled. Two officers soon joined the chase.

The CMC skidded to a halt in front of the large hole Snails had dug, knocking their heads together. Officer Sentry arrived and recognized the three, alarming them.

"Quick! Gophers in the hole!" Babs said before they all jumped in.

The judge and the cops arrived, and they all jumped in to follow the trio.

"Crossing, Trixie shall fire the magic beam *choom*" Trixie repeated her routine "And opening the door, what have we here? The little"

"AIIIIII!"

Diamond Tiara ran out and moved to the side as the CMC emerged and ran off. The judge, six cops, and two cops on motorcycles emerged, one after the other, chasing the CMC into the distance.