“Ya didn't have to come along with me, ya know,” Granny Smith grumbled while walking along the path that led from Sweet Apple Acres to the Ponyville hospital. “It's just a check-up. My hip is fine as a fiddle.”

“Ah know, Granny,” Applejack replied in a mollifying tone. “But ah was on mah way to Ponyville anyway, and we haven't spent much time together lately.”

“Hmph! And why could that possibly be? Perhaps because you and that husband of yours are bucking each others brains out, day in and day out?”

AJ chuckled in embarrassment. “Yeah, that might be one of the reasons.” Well, at least Granny had acknowledged Spike as her husband. That was progress. “Come on, now. Ya know Spike's a good guy. Is what we did really that bad?”

The older mare didn't look her in the eye. “That ain't the issue. Ah sent ya to Las Pegasus, because yer usually the most dependable out of all of us. Apple Con is our most important place to attract customers and find potential business partners.”

Hearing the disappointment in her grandmother's voice, AJ couldn't help but feel a little hurt. “It's not like ah was only playing around the whole week. Ah managed the stall at the convention, and ah even got some contracts for deliveries out west.”

Granny sighed, just as the pair had arrived in front of the hospital. “Ah know. But doing something like this on a whim … it just ain't like ya. But yer also stubborn. Since ya've made up yer mind, ah won't stand in yer way.”

With a hopeful expression, AJ asked: “So does that mean...?”

“No sex in the house,” Granny interrupted her before heading in.

“Oh.” She hung her head. This and that were two different things. “Ah'll pick ya up in an hour, Granny!” With a sigh, she continued along the path towards her own destination, steeling herself before opening the door and announcing herself with the jingle of a bell.

“Welcome to Carousel Boutique!” a cheerful voice greeted her.

“Hey, Rarity,” she said lamely.

The white unicorn turned her head, having been busy with making adjustments to a dress and not having looked up at the customer until now. “Hello, Applejack,” she said in a neutral tone that seemed somehow worse than a scathing remark, giving her a long look over the rim of her designer glasses. Then she returned to her work. “What can I do for you?”

“Ah tore mah saddle straps during work today. Ah was hoping ya could fix 'em up for me.”

Rarity pointed towards a table to the side. “Put them over there. I'll be right with you.”

Applejack did that, and then she waited. And then she waited some more, the silence getting more awkward by the minute.

Eventually Rarity came over and gave the saddle a long, hard look. “My, you really did a number on those straps. This happened during work, you say? What did you do? Move a mountain to give your trees more light?”

“Uhm, you see, well, …” She gulped. “It didn't happen at work. It happened while ah was having sex with Spike.”

The unicorn sighed. “Well, good for you, bad for the garment.” She began her repair work.

Applejack was poking her hoof at the floor while listening to the sound of Rarity's sewing machine, trying to think of the best way to say what she had to say. “Look, Rarity. How mad are ya at Spike?”

Rarity, stopping her work momentarily, raised an eyebrow. “Mad at Spike?”

“Well, yeah. The way ya stormed off at the train station, he seemed pretty hurt, don't ya think? He hasn't said anything, but... Can't ya just forgive him?”

Taking off her glasses, Rarity looked her straight in the eye. “Darling, I'm not mad at Spike in the least.”

AJ cocked her head to the side. “Ya ain't?”

“No. Quite frankly, I'm more put out with you, Applejack.”

“Me? Now look here, ya made it pretty damn clear that ya didn't want to be romantically involved with Spike. When he finally got up the nerve to ask ya out last year, ya friend-zoned him so hard, it technically qualifies as a war crime. So don't blame me if ya changed yer mind.”

“That's not it. If the two of you are happy together, then I'm happy for you.”

Applejack's confusion only grew due to that answer. “Then what's yer problem?”

“Well, I'd imagine it's the same one as Granny Smith's, don't you?”

“Granny's problem?”

Rarity glared at her, but then her expression softened as understanding dawned on her face. “You really don't get it, do you?”

“Get what!?” The farmpony was really starting to get irritated. “For pony's sake, Rarity. Just say what ya mean already!”

“Come with me.” Rarity led the way upstairs to her work room. She opened a drawer and, grasping a book in her magic, hovered it over to Applejack. “Take a look at this.”

AJ involuntarily shrunk back. “This ain't another one of yer trashy romance novels, is it? Cause ah still haven't recovered from when ya told me to read '50 Shades of Neigh' yet. Ah would have never pegged ya for this kinda...”

“Just open it!” Rarity told her with a blush.

To Applejack's surprise, it turned out to be a sketchbook. It was almost full, and certain types of dresses stood out, white dresses. The sketches of the ponies themselves underneath the dresses were clear enough to recognize them. Pinkie Pie, Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy. And there was one for her as well. “Rarity... When did you make this?”

“It's been an ongoing project,” the fashionista replied. “You remember when I designed our Gala attire, and the time I was called in to make Princess Cadence's wedding dress? I loved doing that. So I decided that when the time came, I'd be ready to make a wedding dress for each of my friends, so they could be just as happy. I've got ideas for the bridesmaids, too. Now do you see the problem?”

Applejack closed the book, handing it back. “We never gave ya the chance to use 'em.”

“Right. I wanted to make you a beautiful dress for your special day, because you're my friend.”

AJ shook her head. “And ah appreciate that. Really, ah do. But ya know that I hate this sorta thing.”

“Yes. But this isn't just about you,” Rarity told her sternly. “You're a practical pony, and so is Spike. Practical I mean, not a pony, of course. So you figured you'd just get the bare minimum. As long as the marriage is official, that's good enough, right?”

“Right.”

“Wrong! Did you ever stop to consider that there were ponies back home who would have liked to be part of your special day? To congratulate you and share in your happiness?”

Applejack was taken aback by that notion. “No, … ah didn't.”

“Well, consider it now. Because for a mare who values her friends and family so highly, it was a surprisingly selfish thing to do. That's what hurt. How many family photo albums does Granny Smith have filled with your pictures? Playing in the mud with pigs as a filly...”

“Ah get it.”

“Or that summer when you first started to work the orchard, got your mane covered in tree sap, and had to shave it because you couldn't get it out.”

“Ah said ah get it.” She didn't need to be reminded of that. It had been the reason she started wearing her trademark stetson.

“Or that picture of the first time you had hard cider, and you ended up taking a bath in the fountain in front of town hall.”

“Rarity!”

“And now she doesn't even have a wedding photo of you and Spike.” There was a long silence between them. “Come on. Let's get those saddle straps fixed.”

They made their way back down to the shop area, and once again the air was filled with the rattling noises of the sewing machine.

“Hey, Rarity,” Applejack finally said after several minutes of mulling over what had been said. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For opening mah eyes. Ah get it now. Ya asked Twilight if she could annul the marriage, because ya wanted us to have a proper wedding, didn't ya?”

“I'm glad you realized that.”

Applejack nodded. “Well, ah suppose we could have a late reception. Maybe even redo the vows. That … wedding dress design of yours. It would be a shame to let it go to waste.”

Rarity gave her a smile in response. As different as they were, and as much as they butted heads on occasion, this was just the way their friendship worked.

“Okay, now that that's settled. Ah'll let ya ask three questions about our relationship. Whatever yer curious about, ah'll answer it. Consider it mah way of apologizing.”

“Really?” The unicorn tapped her hoof against her chin thoughtfully. “Alright. Then, what do you love most about him?”

“The sex, of course.”

Rarity stared at her, a blush creeping across her cheeks. “That certainly was a quick answer.”

“Wasn't a very hard question.” Applejack gave her a grin, knowing full well how much her friend loved gossip. “Wanna know details? Ya got two questions left. Make 'em count.”

Rarity huffed at that. “Really, Applejack. A lady does not ask about such things,” she replied, lifting her chin. Nonetheless she gave her grinning friend a sideways glance. “What does … it look like?”

She shrugged. “Not that different from a stallion's. Little more pointed at the end, though, and it's got those little ridges at the top. Those are a treat, ah tell ya.” Her smirk deepened. “Jealous yet? Ya had yer chance with him. No going back now. Okay, last question.”

Rarity turned to look at her friend head-on. There were only two words on her mind right now. “How big?”

“Hold yer hooves up in front of you.”

“Like this?”

“Eyup, now move 'em a little further apart. Keep going. Little more. Almost there. That's it.”

The unicorn's eyes widened. “NO WAY!”

* * *

“I can't believe you told her that!” Spike complained as he sat under a tree in the west orchard, swapping stories with his wife about their respective days.

“Ah was bragging,” she admitted with a cheeky grin. “But can ya blame me? Rarity's just too much fun to mess with. Ahhhn! Oh, right there. That's the spot, Spike.”

Spike shook his head with a smile, continuing one of his famous back rubs. Seeing Applejack wiggle and moan under his touch was one of the things he'd come to enjoy the most. “I'm glad Rarity doesn't hate me. Thanks for going out of your way to talk to her, honey.”

“Mmmhhh.” She shifted her weight to lay a little more comfortably across his lap. “So what do ya think?”

“About what? Having another ceremony?”

“Yeah. Ah mean, ah don't regret doing what we did. But maybe we missed out on something. If nothing else, we owe it to our friends and family to do something. And ya know Pinkie will leap at the opportunity to organize a party.”

Spike chuckled. “True. Maybe then everypony else will stop thinking that we did it on a whim. And since we're already married, there's gonna be none of that hoof wringing or last minute drama involved, so we can have fun, too.”

“Good. That's decided then. But let's keep it simple, alright? Ah don't want this to turn into some major event.”

“Hm, fair enough. Close friends and family only then.” Spike let his gaze drift up into the evening sky, watching the first stars twinkle at Luna's command while Celestia prepared to dip the sun behind the western horizon. “What do you think we would have done if we hadn't gotten married?”

“I dunno. Had a date? Probably gone through all the motions. You know. 'Does he like me?' 'Does she find my Pony Trek poster collection geeky?' 'Is this gonna destroy our friendship?' Then, after two years or so of dating with all the anxiety that goes along with it, we would have ended up right where we are today. Ah'm glad we skipped all that.”

Spike looked back down at her. “Wait. You find my Pony Trek poster collection geeky?”

She peered back up at him from underneath the rim of her hat. “Uh-huh. But that's the great thing about being married. It means accepting the other as they are. If ah was just yer marefriend, ah probably wouldn't have let ya hang 'em up in our bedroom.”

“I'm glad you're my wife then.”

“So am ah.” Applejack repositioned herself in his lap into a straddling position. Giving him a seductive look, she leaned in closer.

Spike's lips parted to receive the kiss as he slung his arms around her waist to hold her in place. The sweet scent of her apple-based shampoo tickled his nostrils as they both closed their eyes. Emboldened by the romantic atmosphere, he made a move.

“Hm?” Applejack opened her eyes for a moment in surprise, but quickly closed them again, allowing his forked tongue access into her own mouth. The kiss lasted a long time. Every time one of them started to draw back, the other would move in again.

Feeling a fire grow in him, Spike began to rub her firm plot with his claws, squeezing every now and then. Meanwhile AJ ran her hoof along his belly, knowing that the soft scales there were one of the few actually sensitive places on his scaled body.

“Ya know what else ah'm glad about?” she asked, circling her hoof around the large scale that usually hid his private parts. “That we waited until we were married to have sex.”

Spike laughed. “True.” At the prompting, the scales shifted aside, letting his masculinity emerge. Since AJ was still in his lap, it rubbed up against her, and he could tell instantly that she was raring to go as well. “Granny Smith did say to take it out into the orchard. So how about we make some love under the stars?”

“Ah thought ya'd never ask.”

* * *

“That was some good aiming there in the final stretch, pardner,” AJ complimented her husband, licking her lips as they walked back towards the farmhouse.

“Thanks,” Spike replied in embarrassment at the dual compliment. “I'm glad I managed not to burn any of the trees down.”

“Ya think Rarity heard us?” she asked with a sly grin. “The west orchard is closest to town, and we were pretty loud.”

“Speaking of which,” he said while looking around in the darkness. “Isn't it awfully quiet around here?”

“Huh. Now that ya mention it, this is where all the fruit bats live. With dusk having come and gone, ah would have expected them to be more active. Maybe they're just sleeping in tonight.”

As the couple approached the house, they could make out the forms of Granny Smith, Big Macintosh and Apple Bloom waiting for them on the front porch. But there was something else off about the house.

The roof was lined with fruit bats, fruit bats shivering in terror, and the fallout from that was a lot of filth staining the walls underneath where they sat. Quite simply, they'd made a mess of the building. One particular fruit bat had sought refuge atop Granny's head, which made her glare even more intimidating.

“You think this is our fault?” Spike whispered to his wife as they stopped a short distance away from them.

“Well,” she muttered under her breath. “How many animals do you know that wouldn't give a dragon mating ground a wide berth?”

“Probably should have considered that sooner, huh?” They both gave the Apple family an apologetic smile, even though they knew it wouldn't help any.

As Granny's voice thundered across the whole of Sweet Apple Acres, a flock of frightened critters lifted off into the night sky. “BANNED FROM HAVING SEX IN THE ORCHARD!!!”

Author's Note

At this rate, Spike and AJ might end up running out of places in Ponyville to have sex at. How will they deal with this danger to their young relationship?