CODE ORCHID

I set the sub down in a pen and popped the hatch. "Fucking twelve kinds of ridiculous." I climbed out and dropped down against the concrete walkways that ran up and down the massive pen. Orchid peeked her head out of an adjacent pen and groaned. "Don't!"

Orchid dropped into the water and gargled. "I mean...I could--"

"And I could take a bat to your ass and make a pretty clear point!" I kicked at her and grunted loudly. "Get the hell out of here...go to bed."

Orchid blew bubbles into the water. "Why are you mad?"

I held my hands out to the giant. "I'm tired, I've got a lot of work tomorrow, and I need some time to sort things out. Orchid, you're a fucking teenage girl, you're fucking exhausting!" I held my hands out to her. "Just go, just go hoof yourself, go to bed, if you really need me tell Sparkler." I turned towards the doors into the facility.

Orchid grumbled at me. "I just--"

"Use me!" I held my hands up. "That shit is not okay!"

Orchid lifted herself up. "Well I don't know--"

I held my finger up. "Things that are not okay! Your family, fish, squid--"

Orchid slammed her hooves down and crushed one of the walkways. "I like the squid!"

"Orchid!" She reeled back into the water and stared at me. "We'll talk more later, for now you listen to me...you go relax, we'll talk tomorrow. Okay?"

Orchid floated over towards me. She didn't say anything and looked directly down into the water. She bumped into the walkway I was standing on and looked at me. She patted her muzzle with her hoof. "Please...?"

I ducked down and scratched at the edge of her plate. "I'm not mad, just frustrated." I dug my nail into the fresh blue flushed skin around her plate. "Seriously, life lesson." I stood up and stepped back from the edge. "You don't touch your family like that. Inbreeding ends up spreading around some bad genes, and with you I have no idea how bad it would be to have a severe mutation in your offspring." I shook my head. "And no offense...but Orchid, I don't want to hear about your vagina. I had to fucking clean you with a broom."

Orchid covered her face and slowly sank down into the water. "Okay...no family." She sank down and blew a thin spray of water into the air. "Sorry."

I sighed heavily and walked off towards the doors into the facility. "Don't be. Just a really weird day." I rubbed the back of my neck and thought back to Eureka. "Just a fucking weird day." I scratched my scalp and walked to the massive metal doors. I felt a deep knot in my stomach. I turned back to the water swirling around the docks. "God damn i--"

Orchid peeked out of the water. "Sorry."

I stared at her. "...Yeah, me too." I waved at her. "It feels bad, right?"

Orchid leaned her chin up on the edge of the dock. "Yeah.... I'm sorry I said that."

I sighed heavily as the door opened up. "It's not your fault...completely." I shrugged. "Just get some rest, we'll go hunting tomorrow and we'll see if we can't go shopping for you over in Fetlock, okay?"

Orchid growled. "Hunting day?"

I nodded sharply. "Hunting day, we've been getting them good, and Sparker's been saying there aren't many big ones left." I smiled at her and walked into the doorway. "Be nice and calm after that, lots of fishing I guess."

Orchid growled loudly and showed off her teeth. "Hunting...sounds good."

I looked up and spotted a big black patch on her teeth. "Orchid--"

"They're squishy!" She snapped her teeth at me. "Stop it! I just wanna--"

"Orchid, stop."

"But--"

"No."

"I just--"

"No squid."

Orchid snapped her teeth at me again and started growling. "I hate you!" She spun around and dove down into the water. She popped up a few meters away and grumbled in the corner. She sat there like a crocodile, watching me from afar. "...I don't hate you...but I do...."

I nodded. "Oh don't worry...I get it." I walked on deeper into the facility. A few ponies were waiting and watching as I walked towards them. Sparkler had the look of death hanging under her eyes.

She walked up to me and sighed. "It's happening, isn't it?"

"Yep."

Sparkler groaned loudly and shakily pulled a pack of cigarettes out of her side bags. "The sea ponies started showing up too.... I think we did it." She sighed heavily and laughed as she levitated a lighter out. "The ocean's safe-ish." She laughed with the most haggered smile I'd ever seen. "I don't think we were ready for this."

I shrugged. "This is why I just take care of the kid. By the way, how are the new ones coming?"

Sparkler laughed. "Stopped production, there's fifty waiting in artificial wombs.... I just don't know where we're gonna put em."

"Do you want to fuck?" I rubbed my neck. "You seem a little stressed out."

Sparkler's cigarette few low in her mouth. "...Yes, yes I would." She looked around the lobby and walked up towards a small intercom. She pressed a bright red button with her hoof and whispered something into the panel. The ponies standing with her seemed a bit uneasy.

A loud buzz came over the intercom. "Attention...all personnel, work will end in five minutes, pack up and settle in...we're uh...taking a holiday." The intercom worker sounded extremely disinterested.

Sparkler walked back over to me, her cigarette still burning gently. "Your room...ten minutes--"

I held my hand up. "Can I bring the sea pony?"

Sparkler looked around. "Sure.... But no kissing, no talking, don't make it weird." She groaned to the floor. "Spring is here...." She laughed nervously. I joined in laughing. Sparkler frowned hard and stared at me. "Don't you fucking patronize me."

I held my hands up. "Okay...."

Sparkler looked around at the ponies. "...I'm bringing more stallion." She rolled the cigarette into the other side of her mouth. "...I'm just-- It's gonna be an orgy...in the mess hall, you're invited."

I coughed into my wrist. "Uh, I'd rather not get chlamydia."

Sparkler looked me up and down. "Alright.... Sorry, you're not worth missing out on an orgy."

I shrugged. "You're not really worth getting an STD, so I think we're about even."

"Alright." Sparkler looked around and took a deep drag. She blew smoke out her nose and coughed softly. "I'm so tired, Chris, I'm so friggin tired."

I nodded. "I think we all are--"

"Don't try to one-up me." Sparkler looked over towards the docks. "I'm gonna go smoke...."

I looked up at the far of ceiling. "This is why I took a vacation, you go fucking crazy otherwise." I sighed and looked around. "Where's Mici?"