Fifty Shades of Niegh

After my three visits to the Homosapien world, I've noticed many strange, strange things in comparison to our Equine world. Once I was introduced to the Internet, I almost never got off. So much computer data compiled in to one large server powering an entire system of binary coding! I enjoyed studying computer science, and bringing all of this knowledge back to Equestria really helps everypony! We now have many different technologies that assist us in our daily work. Powered by self-replicating magic, we're always ready to work hard and there's nothing in our way. The magic and technology combine to make a certainly flawless machine that does all of the work so we don't have to.

There is however...something strange about the internet. When more people found out I was an Alicorn Princess from Equestria, some started to give me awkward looks and sweat a bit. Most just tried to run away as fast as possible! I didn't know why, until human Rainbow Dash showed me something that changed my life forever.

The Cloppers.

At first I wasn't sure what to make of such an onomatopoeia. Just the contact of hoof to a solid surface wasn't something special. I then found out what it was in reference to. Another onomatopoeia, referred to as 'fapping' is one describing the audible contact of skin on skin. When talking to Dash, I assumed it was as much as clapping, or maybe something worse, hitting. I shortly found I was very wrong.

On that day...

"So...clapping, or hitting?" I asked, naively. Dash face-palmed, letting out an audible sigh of disappointment.

"NO TWILIGHT." She blurted. "Have you never been on the Internet?!"

"Yes, many times." I replied with a confused expression.

"Did you have the safety filter on?" Dash asked again, with a dull frown.

"Yeah, that keeps the computer from blowing up doesn't it?" I asked.

"Yes, Twilight! That's exactly what it does!" Rainbow shouts in a frustrated tone.

"So I was ri---"

"No Twilight!" Rainbow shouted again, interrupting me. "It protects the innocence that everyone lost at the age of 12!"

"What do you mean?" I ask once more. I felt my inquiry was getting a bit annoying, but I had to know what she was talking about. I couldn't wrap my head around the point...That could have been worded better...

"Twilight, do you know why people have been looking at you strange?"

"No, why?"

"Look." Rainbow Dash said, she opened her laptop and showed me a page that had a colorful GOOGLE logo. "I want you to type in, "Twilight Sparkle.""

"Okay...Why?" I asked. Rainbow Dash didn't respond, so I just continued to type my name.

"Now press enter." She says. So I pressed enter...and thus my innocence fell.

"WHAT IS THAT!?" I said, looking at the most terrifying picture of myself. I seemed to have more elaborate...parts..and for all I knew at the time, an oddly shaped stick in between my waist!

Thus I returned to the princesses and informed them of the issue.

I was charged to write about this strange behavior. A book to be ready to read before everypony begins to freak out.