Chapters Feel The Game
Lost in my own sanctuary – multicolored wires and cables crossed the room, a thick entanglement crawling over the walls and furnishings as artificial snakes, fighting for space, fighting for a pray – an organized chaos; that's how I liked to define my secret shell - my enclosure. Here, hiding among the circuits, computers, and dusty vents – I was god.
Red lights, flashing LED's connected to a considerably old micro-controller board – those blinking dots were never a good sign - I sighed, spinning in my chair, the wheels annoyingly shrieking as I moved towards the board, not even bothering to stand up and touch the cold and potentially electrified floor with my feet.
The surface of a broken computer monitor reflected my face, and for a brief moment I stopped to check my look. When the only available source of light is a notebook screen, you rarely get a chance to see your own features. It can be quite scary to see yourself outside the digital world – I was oddly thin and my tapered chin was more noticeable than ever, my condition inside this electronic cave was complicated, to say at least.
The machines asked for a strong and continuous air flow, our main air conditioning system was supplied by dozens of nitrogen bottles, and the whole thing needed constant supervision and maintenance; bottles needed replacements, pipes were freezing all the time, pressure had to be checked hourly – In short, the workday in my little bitcoin mine was a frozen hell. Since the mining operation started – a few months or years ago, I can't say for sure anymore – I've got this terrible cold that simply refuses to go away.
The coffee maker was my only ally, and my wool jacket was the angel responsible for keeping this frail body of mine, alive.
My days were pretty much the same regardless of what the calendar said. My older brother Kaleb used to live with me – dammit, Kaleb was such a nice guy, you see? – He wasn't into mining though, the man got a job in a badass multinational company. He's responsible for keeping the web blimps in the air, rain or shine, he gotta maintain the system running. It's a high-responsibility job – one misstep, and half of the country goes offline.
Of course Life Inc. wouldn't hire a reckless jerk like me – That's why I'm still here; fixing a stupid red light in a stupid moldy basement, instead of saving the world in a glassy office building.
As you can see, my brother's life is different from mine in many ways – yet, as awkward as it may sound, we have the same point of view when it comes to ponies. We considered ourselves 'bronies', back then in the 10's – when being part of this weird subculture was a thing. I have to admit that we lived the happier, and crazier days of our lives – talking, drawing and writing about ponies.
And clopping, naturally.
God, we were such a pair of horny teenagers. It's ridiculous in a way, to keep fantasizing about that, after all those years... I'm not obsessed with that or anything – but I'm pretty sure that something – deep inside my foggy mind – still wants to cum inside Rainbow Dash. Last time I mentioned this wish to my brother, he just laughed his ass off. He wouldn't admit it – Kaleb never admitted anything – but I bet he thinks the same.
I still remember his face, when our father found his secret porn stash. It was priceless – that because dad was a sarcastic bastard, so he just printed one of the pictures; a silly artwork of Rainbow Dash showing her pussy or whatever – believe me, I've seen worse – and then dad asked Kaleb if he liked when a girl was on all fours.
I sincerely thought he would have a stroke right there on the couch or something – luckily, he just pretended to faint for a few minutes. When he finally 'came back' to his senses, dad gave him the paper, snorted, and walked away – not before pouring himself some scotch. He never talked about that again, but every time a horse appeared on TV, dad would look at Kaleb and laugh.
Anyway, I don't live in the past. Unfortunately.
I live in a place where red lights are constantly blinking here and there, where joy is measured by terabytes, and the city walls look eerily empty and colorless to the naked eye. Have you ever seen a real billboard? Lucky you – that's not possible without smart glasses or microchips nowadays.
It was a strange kind of satisfaction, to see that negligible light blinking one more time before disappearing in the darkness of the room. I leaned against my chair and breathed deeply, coughing a little as the cold air filled my lungs. I looked around, and gratefully stated that I was done for the day.
I shared the job down here at the bitcoin mine with my roommate, Neil. It was a Friday night, and Neil had just arrived from his part-time job at the local butchery. A disgusting job, if you want to know – but you probably don't want to know that – butcheries are gross as hell.
Anyway, this week was Neil's week at the mine, and my week on the couch.
I crawled out of our basement like a blind mole, flinching as the fluorescent light of the living room assaulted the back of my eyes. Neil was wearily resting some grocery bags over the counter, alongside with his blood stained apron.
"Woah, woah, woah – don't even think about leaving your filthy shit over there. You know this thing irks me out." I frowned at Neil in disgust, throwing the basement keys on the table. "Couldn't you find a stupid job at Taco Bell, or something? Crap... A butchery for Christ's sake!" I shook my head.
"Where am I supposed to leave my 'filthy shit' then?" He groaned, grabbing the stupid apron again. "It's not like you'd let me throw it into the dishwasher." He said, inspecting its white, rubbery surface.
"I don't care where you leave your bloody crap, as long as I don't see any of it when I sit down to have my coffee. Anywhere but the counter – or the living room as a whole."
Our apartment wasn't that big, and the living room surely hadn't enough space for his apron. Everything shrank, as most of the old houses and blocks got demolished and consequently replaced by buildings – in fact, I can say I was lucky to have my own basement – the building we lived was quite old, and the ground level apartments still had these small underground rooms.
Neil shoved his uniform into a plastic bag, and grumbled something about going to the laundry room. As he left, I resumed my walk to the kitchen, only for the sake of doing it, since there was nothing relevant to see inside the fridge. I checked it anyway, and to my disappointment, I couldn't find anything worth eating.
Sighing, I just opened an app on my watch, and in a few seconds the coffee maker started making that gurgling noise. It's funny how scientists are able to develop quantum processors, but can't get rid of a coffee maker buzz. Humans and their achievements...
As I sat down at the counter pushing the grocery bags aside to have some space, I couldn't help but notice a small package wrapped in plain white paper – it had my name on it, and was placed right next to my bills. Neil had probably brought it home from our mailbox, I presumed. For security measures, every package comes with a microchip, to help tracking your order, and also keep information about it. As usual, I just scanned it with my phone, but oddly, most of the information was corrupted.
It only said 'Sent from Belgrade, Serbia.'
I have to admit I was surprised – and somewhat scared – as I couldn't remember having ordered anything from Serbia – nor I knew anyone from Eastern Europe. Still, written in bold permanent marker letters, was nothing but my name. 'Spencer Rothenberger'.
I'd pay you a thousand bucks if you managed to find another Spencer Rothenberger in this world. Really.
I stood there, staring at the mysterious box, considering all the absurd probabilities. From poisonous chemicals, to severed body parts... Or something worse. The coffee machine beeped, forcing me back to reality. There was a creepy package from Serbia right in front of me, alongside with a hot smoking cup of cappuccino.
"Ah... Spencer?"
"Hmm?" I murmured, my body half turning on the stool to face my roommate. Neil was back, and by the look of his apron he had successfully cleaned it up properly – considering Neil's intelligence levels, washing an apron was something definitely worth noting.
"May I ask what the hell are you doing?" He said, closing the door with an elbow. I shrugged and finished sipping the rest of my drink, placing the empty cup aside. I was pressing the white box against my ear, slowly moving and inspecting it, trying to get a hint of what was inside. In a way, it reminded me of the night before Christmas – when I was a kid I liked to shake all my presents; louder noises probably meant toys, while lack of noises probably meant another pair of socks.
"To be frank with you, I'm not sure anymore. Do you by any chance know who sent this?" I showed him the package.
"Oh yeah... This thing. I forgot to tell you about it, my bad." Neil rubbed his neck. "I just found it in the mailbox, I thought it was another of those girly pony toys of yours, so I got it for ya." He leaned against the counter, looking for some other shit inside his paper bags. "Dunno who sent it tho." He finally found the bag of chips he was looking for.
"It came from Serbia." I stated.
"Dammit Spencer, why for Christ's sake would you want a Serbian pony doll?" He laughed, chips debris eventually flying from his mouth.
"It's not a pony doll you moron."
"Then what it is?" Neil insisted.
"I have no idea! Something messed up with the microchip, it just says it was sent from Belgrade. No tracking codes, no dispatcher – nothing" I sighed. "That's just-"
"Creepy." He added.
"Exactly..."
Silence devoured the room as we both stared at the package, as if expecting it to explode at any moment – only the crunchy sound of Neil's chips dared to defy the stillness.
"Why don't you open it?"
It was bound to happen.
"Ready?" I grabbed a broomstick, Neil just nodded, crouching behind the counter like a coward. "One... Two... Three !"
We both cringed, as I removed the cover of the mysterious package. Seconds turned into minutes, as we stared at the now open box over the table.
Slowly, I made my way towards the object, Neil was right behind me, holding his smartphone, ready to call the cops if shit happened. Luckily, it wasn't necessary.
The package was almost empty, except for a semi-circular metallic gadget, not bigger than the palm of my hand. I've seen many devices and instruments, but that was something completely different of anything I could relate. Hesitatingly, I removed it from the plastic case – it was surprisingly light to hold; the object had a thin plastic surface, which seemed to be covered with tiny suction electrodes.
As I brought it closer to my eyes, a green led started to blink on each side of the semi-circle.
"What the..."
"Hey Spencer." I looked back at Neil, who seemed to have found something else in the box. "I think the guy who sent this left you a note." He handed me a small piece of folded paper.
'My bad Spencer, things got really weird here and I was unable to deliver this package personally. Don't tell anyone about this, okay? People don't know they are already being tested.
I'm giving you one of the few development kits I have, please accept it as an apology for all the birthday parties I missed. This one is special for you, It's unique – I programmed it myself.
You'll understand as soon as you try it. Just sit down in a comfortable chair, and place the device on your neck. It will blow your mind, I assure you.
I hope you like it.
PS: Stay focused. Don't let the real world escape from you. '
"Okay, you go first." I tried to push the thing to Neil's hands, but he backed away.
"No way in hell dude. Your Serbian friends, your package, your responsibility."
I was already used to augmented reality stuff, but if the note guy was telling the truth, this shit was something else – something bigger. It could also cause some deep shit to my brain, and that's what scarred me the most. As far as I knew, I was dealing with some unknown, experimental device, who just happened to be addressed to me.
And the guy knew my birthday.
"Neil?" I rubbed my temples, pondering about the situation.
"Yeah?"
"I'm going to my room, If I don't come back in an hour, you can break down the door and pull this thing away from my neck" I somberly said, reading the note a few more times. My roommate just nodded.
"Here I go..."
'Stay Focused. Don't let the real world escape from you'
As Neil left to do his chores down there at the mine, I went to my room and closed the door. Following the recommendations, I found a cozy spot in my armchair, and leaned down against some pillows.
With a deep sigh, I closed my eyes, and placed the device around the back of my neck. Immediately, those tiny electrodes expanded, and adhered to my spine. I felt an odd tingling sensation in my extremities, followed by numbness. I was a little bit scared by the time a shiver ran down my spine, but in a split of a second, the world flashed and disappeared.
I tried to get up, but my body was nowhere to be seen. When I was about to have a panic attack, a second flash brought me back to reality. But not the real world – I found myself standing in an incredibly wide white room. A silvery glow emanated from the floor and the walls, filling the singular place with light.
"Welcome to your game, Spencer!"
I jumped, turning around abruptly. There, only a few feet away from me, stood a tall, gleaming pony. She had no horns, wings, or cutie marks, but was clearly taller than most of the show characters. The mare looked almost as artificial as the room around ourselves, and except for her contrasting red eyes, everything else was pure white.
"Who are you, and what is this place?" I asked.
"I am known by many names, but you can call me Ada. This reality is being configured specially for you; it features nothing but the deepest desires of your subconscious mind – I only present myself as a pony, because your mind asks me to do so. I'll be your guide through the game, and we'll slowly get used to each other's presence." She smiled.
"I promise."
"Ah..." I gaped.
"Okay then, if you say so." I rubbed my neck, observing Ada as she materialized a dark screen out of nowhere. "So, if that's a game... What's the final objective?" I raised an eyebrow at her.
Ada giggled, taking me by the arm as she led us to the dark monolithic screen.
"That's an intelligent question" She said. "We've been scanning your mind, and your final objective was already chosen – Aside from the secret achievements, cum inside Rainbow Dash is your last mission."
"I- I- W-what??" I choked. Why Ada, why? You looked so professional and innocent at first sight. "So this thing can like... Emulate... Everything? I mean, no mind blocks?" All the recent augmented reality gadgets come with dozens of blocks and prohibitions. It's not like you can buy an Oculus Rift from the store, and have virtual sex or something. The government says it's for security reasons – I say it's for mind control.
"Yeah Spencer, we can emulate absolutely everything!" She chuckled. "Still, there's no game without challenges, and to reach your final objective, you'll have to fight for it – or as I like to say – fuck for it." With a touch of her hoof, she lit the screen.
My jaw dropped.
Dozens, if not hundreds of pony silhouettes showed up on the screen, most of them were shadowed like locked characters in old fighting games.
"Where is Rainbow?" I asked.
"Very far from your reach, I assure you." She laughed. "And that's your fault, not mine. Everything here is based on your choices."
"You will make me fuck all of those ponies only to unlock my Rainbow Dash??" I gasped.
"Maybe... But there is a misunderstanding here, Spencer. Your game is not only about sex, it's about relationships. Something you never had a chance to experience in real life, being you . It's about – literally – earning an achievement." Ada stated. "There's much more to learn, and I'll help you. But keep in mind that this is nothing but a simulation. You're free to leave and return." Her tone suddenly changed from playful to serious. "There are rules, Spencer – and you can only play a level per day."
"Sounds good to me, where do I start?" I asked excitedly. Ada just sighed.
"Patience Spencer. This is just a brief introduction to the system, some things are still being configured. You'll start tomorrow, and your first mission includes taking Princess Twilight to dinner. If all goes well... You two may have some fun."
"Hey Spencer, are you alive bro?"
A deep voice echoed through the shining room. It was Neil, and he seemed to speak inside my head.
"What the hell do I do now?" I asked, staring at Ada.
"You better go. Just remove your Dream Device."
As I touched my neck, I noticed that even here in the virtual world, the device remained the same, meaning that I could simply shut it down if I wanted.
"I see you later Spencer."
"Don't let the real world escape from you..."
A flash, and a light dizziness later, I was back at home. Neil was sitting on the edge of my bed when I looked at him and started to laugh uncontrollably.
"The hell is wrong with you?" He scoffed.
"Dude, I have a date with Princess Twilight Sparkle. Tomorrow! "
***
Author's Note
Ada's concept art -
Feel The Game
I couldn't sleep that night.
With the Dream Device awaiting for me over the nightstand, and the avalanche of ideas filling my mind, sleep was utterly postponed. Following Ada's advice, I didn't tried to use the gadget again, but the billions – if not trillions – of possibilities it was able to provide, kept knocking my head in a rhythmic wave of thoughts.
I turned on the bed, writhed around, covered my face with a pillow. It was strange, after so many years, to be daydreaming about Equestria, the ponies, and the whole concept of getting there – even if virtually – in a few hours. All the fuss about the show was gone, people eventually mentioned it here and there, but that old spark was nowhere to be seen.
In a way, it was quite unsettling to return to this 'brony state of mind'. I still enjoyed ponies, I really did – but since I opened that package, my psychological state must have started a regressive healing process, installed after decades of forgetfulness.
The Dream Device, as Ada referred to it, could have chosen many other chunks of my subconscious memory archive – but it focused the game on my teenage years dreams. Dreams that naturally, were never fulfilled.
As the moon crossed the skies towards the horizon, I kept staring at the ceiling. A distant hum of traffic, ducts, vents, and all the technology scattered around the world unbalanced the quietude of my room. There was no noise, but electronic waves, artificial murmurs, of plastic organs and veins.
That package... It came to change me.
Whoever conceived such a thing, whoever sent it to me – knew its power. There aren't many augmented reality devices available to the general public; we have immersion glasses, high definition screens able to depict practically anything, but as far as I knew, nothing could get in your mind like that.
People have tried, of course – to trick their senses, fool their minds. Machines were built, haptic suits were created to emulate the touch – they were expensive, and I don't know many guys willing to pay thousands of bucks for a kinky sex toy. So much shit happened in the last decade; companies crashed, the virtual sex industry bumped against many ethical barriers.
The government is not very fond of the idea of fucking virtual little girls.
The world has changed a lot lately. As so people.
When the sleep elves finally dropped their thin curtain over me, all those worries and changes vanished into oblivion. I had a date with Twilight Sparkle, and that's what mattered.
It was half past noon when the growling of my stomach woke me up. I stretched my arms out, and yawned – my room had a musty wet smell, so I opened the blinds behind my bed to let some natural light flow in. I had a beautiful view of building's raw concrete backyard, and the endless emergency staircase.
I turned around to leave, but before I made my way out of the room, something caught my eye – the absence of this something – I stared in shock at the nightstand, realizing that my Dream Device was nowhere to be seen. I ducked under my bed, groping the floor in desperate sweeps, but found nothing but dust and porn magazines.
"No..."
I jumped, throwing my bed sheets around, scouring every inch of the carpet.
"No, no, no, no!"
I burst through the door, a smell of burnt toast filling my lungs as I made my way to the living room. The air was smoky around the kitchen, and the toaster lonely beeped over the counter, with some clearly carbonized bread slices sticking out.
"Neil?" I called out.
"Hnnnnghhh..." Something let out a grunt.
"What the-" I rushed towards the noise. "Dammit, what in the world has gotten into you?!" He was laying on his back, hanging from the couch, his eyelids half half opened in a creepy way. Neil's face was pale and expressionless, his soaked hazel hair was flat against his skull, shining with sweat. I worriedly tried to wake him up, but he wouldn't' move.
"Holy crap- Neil! " I grabbed him by the shoulders, and forced the guy to sit up. His hands twitched, but Neil's eyes were lost in a trance-like state. As he numbly fell back into place, I spotted those green familiar lights blinking on each side of his neck. Startled, I pushed his hair away – and there was the Dream Device, attached on his neck like a parasite.
I held on tight as I pulled it away from him. Immediately, Neil breathed for air like a suffocating diver, his arms trembling as he stared at me in surprise for a moment.
"Wow." He gasped.
"Wow? Wow, Neil? What the hell were you thinking?" I shouted, pointing at the device, as he leaned against the couch, panting. "It could have killed you!"
"I j-just... I just wanted to try it." He muttered. "I swear Spencer, I didn't-"
"What for Christ's sake happened here?" I asked. Neil just shrugged, rubbing his eyes.
"I swear dude, really – I have no idea. I just wanted to give it a try, but I don't think this shit works for me. I saw a light bro... a light at the end of a tunnel. It just scared the hell outta me."
"Bullshit." I said. "The Dream Device is not configured for your mind."
"And what do you know about this 'Dream Device' anyway? Who said it's not configured to my mind? Spencer, this thing came from Serbia in an unregistered package – god knows who could have sent it – and why ."
"I don't care if it came from Serbia, or whatever. Ada said it was being configured for me – then it was configured for me , not you." I placed the device back on its box.
"Who the hell is Ada?"
Sighing, I just got up from the couch. Arguing with Neil was not worth of my time at all.
"Probably the light at the end of your tunnel."
My roommate had finally disappeared into the basement to start his shift at the bitcoin mine, and the apartment would be finally quiet and peaceful for a few hours. I had a quick lunch at the kitchen – just a microwave lasagna and some toast – and then I headed to my room again. The air smelled of rubber, paper, and also a watery scent that escaped from the crack between the windows.
It was raining hard out there in the concrete patio, and all the guttering system of the building converged to the same place, right behind my apartment. Since I no longer had natural light to enjoy, I closed the curtains for the day.
I sat down in my father's old leather chair, feeling its cold surface with my fingertips. I took the device from my pocket, touching its small metallic features – for a second, I questioned myself for wanting to try it again, even after Neil's incident. – But the thought of having a potential date with Twilight, was simply tantalizing.
"Here I go..." I said to myself, pressing the device's gelid electrodes against my nape. Then the artificial grasp, the electric tingling, the shivers – the emptiness around my body, as reality was left behind. It was crawling through my nervous system, in my neurons, reflecting in each one of my synapses – then it was right there before my eyes.
Ada, the guide.
"Welcome back, Spencer!" She smiled, those striking crimson eyes staring into my soul, as she pulled me into an unexpected hug. It felt a little awkward at first, but I hugged her back anyway, surprised to feel such small nuances – my fingers digging into her pristine mane, the warmness of her breath against my neck, the touch of her hooves around my chest.
"Well I..." I said, parting from the brief embrace "I'm g-glad to be back as well" I rubbed my neck sheepishly.
"What?" She chuckled "Not used to sudden displays of affection?"
"Eh... Not really." I giggled, as I followed Ada through the futuristic white room, long windows filled with light, and bluish glass panels surrounding our path.
"Well, you better get used then. Equestrian ponies do these things all the time!"
"I think I can live with that." I said, considering the idea of hugging ponies at least twice a day. "By the way, what are our plans for today?" I asked, seeing that we had reached the chamber's extremity. "Will you teleport me into an upscale restaurant of Canterlot, and then throw Twilight Sparkle on my table, or something?"
"Ha! No... Not at all." She shook her head. "That would be far too easy. I said you would have to take Twilight to dinner – not that I would provide the dinner. Or the Twilight." Ada pressed her hoof against the wall, and it started to split, slowly revealing a large entrance to another room. "To start the day, I'll get you some new vests and money – You want to make a good first impression after all."
As we crossed the hall leading to the next chamber, I noticed a tall but minimalist sign carved on the wall. It read 'The Closet'. By the time the doors went open, those words made perfect sense.
"Wow..."
"Impressive, isn't it? And to think it's all inside your head." Ada chuckled.
The Closet was an enormous hangar-like place, and all around us there were thousands of aisles, forming columns of seemingly endless corridors. A strong light emanated from the roof, making it impossible to know if there was a roof at all.
"Wallmart owners would get jealous as fuck."
As we walked by the main corridor, I started seeing objects disappearing and being replaced by completely different items, the room was in a continuous state of re-arrangement, and not even the shelves remained the same when we turned around the corner.
"As you may have noticed, here in the closet you can find absolutely anything you may need. From the best Italian suits, to the sharpest Masamune swords. From elastic ropes to ball gags." Ada mischievously smiled at me.
"From elastic ropes to- what? "
"It's not like you're gonna need them anytime soon, anyway." She added. "But you definitely need some better clothes. Give the closet a try; ask and it will be given to you." With that, Ada materialized a red egg chair, and sat down on it, watching as I explored the shelves.
"Where do I begin?" I turned around, clueless. The white mare just rolled her eyes at me. "Ah... Well, uh... In this case, I guess I'm gonna start with a mirror."
As those words left my mouth, all the shelves around us started to change and deconstruct themselves, objects appeared and were replaced – in no time, a large wall made out of millions of different mirrors, of countless shapes and sizes, started to form right in front of me. Soon, a large golden-framed mirror reflected my full body.
"Well... That's a quite efficient system, isn't it?" I said, taking a look at my pale virtual figure. I couldn't help but feel pathetic. As if reading my thoughts, Ada stood up from her seat and walked to my side; we both staring at each other's reflections in the mirror.
"Don't worry Spencer, I'll fix you."
"Do you think it's enough?" I asked.
"It is more than enough."
The truth is that Ada was a freaking good stylist. Following her advice, I got myself a brown 'Burberry cashmere trench coat' – whatever a Burberry cashmere is – a pair of slim dress pants, and some classy leather boots. Fake leather , of course.
She also said something about taming my frizzy hair – which she eventually did, god knows how.
How surprised I was when looked into the mirror again. For the first time in years, I felt decent enough to be seen in public. Spencer Rothenberger was a presentable man again. Years in front of a computer screen can surely ruin someone's semblance.
"Thank you, Ada... I'd be looking like a tramp if it wasn't for you." I chuckled, playing with my new hairstyle. "Damn, you made me look like my brother."
"You just needed a little push!" She lied. "Can we go on now? You have some ponies to meet, and some achievements to unlock. Unless you prefer to stay here in the limbo level, appreciating the mirrors."
"Ops, my apologies, I am done with the closet." I said. "What is the protocol now?"
As we made our way back to the main introduction room, the closet started to vanish away, its entrance morphing into wall again while we returned to the start place. I couldn't help but notice that one of the bluish glass panels had turned into a swirly membrane of sorts, I extended my hand to touch it, but Ada restrained me.
"The 'protocol' is quite simple: As soon as you pass through this portal, I will be no longer able to help or contact you – until your mission gets done. Equestria will stay as an open world, meaning that you will be completely free to explore and interact with its citizens and creatures. Even if you remove the Dream Device – which I believe you'll eventually do – the world will resume its existence when you return." She stated. "If you have any questions, that's the time to ask them."
I had many, but only one came to my mind.
"I'm a human. How will they react to my presence in their world?" It was surely something to consider, because the last thing I wanted was a permanent stay in the dungeons.
"You don't have to worry about that. This is an alternate universe – humans have already made contact." She affirmed.
"Very well then." I adjusted my tie. "Show me the way to the pony butts."
***
The thunder roared in the skies again, electrifying the atmosphere, as if tearing the clouds apart.
Shortly after my pegasus ride dropped me on the crowded streets of the metropolis, clouds multiplied far above the city, not taking too long before releasing the first piercing droplets of rain. They fell like knives, and each wet drop penetrated the layers of fabric and wool as acid on thin paper.
The ponies were quick to open their umbrellas or seek nearby shelter. Luckily, Canterlot had many good places to avoid getting drenched.
I found my spot in a cozy coffee shop a few blocks away from the royal city gates. I picked an empty table by the window, and asked a large cup of tea with honey. From my place, I observed the flow of simulated life.
At least in the simulation itself, this part of Equestria seemed to have a quite unpredictable weather. It reminded me of New England and its crazy winters, with temperatures rising and falling twice an hour. Although here it was impossible to know if the sudden changes were all part of Ada's tricky program, or just a natural quality of this hilly environment.
The afternoon was already kicking in when I realized that so far, my progress in this stage had been pathetic. It also made me think of my real body, still numb in that leather chair. Time passed in the game, but also passed in real life, virtual food wasn't a good source of protein. I simply couldn't stay here forever, and the last thing I wanted was to wake up all stiff, with my pants pissed, and my throat sore.
That would definitely ruin the good moments.
I had to find Twilight, and soon. She couldn't be very far, she was a silly princess now, and these creatures leave in equally silly castles. I finished my tea, together with some crumbly almond cookies, and dropped a coin in the tip jar. Actually, considering I only had those golden coins in my bag, the tip was probably way more than the own bill.
The waitress was about to have a nice surprise, and so I.
"Crap..." I muttered, staring at the splattering rain outside, which soon would be splattering on my head.
The castle was only a short walk away from the shop, I could see its towers from here, and the front gardens slightly blurred by the fog. In a sunny day it wouldn't be a problem to get there, unfortunately it wasn't the case.
I had no idea if virtual colds were a thing, but I was about to find out.
"You're not stopping me again, Ada. I know you're listening!" I said to myself as I stepped outside, clearly eliciting some weird stares from a group of ponies passing by.
It didn't mattered. Ignoring the freezing showers pouring down over me, I walked fast, following the road, my boots adhering to the slippery sidewalks leading up to the castle. Carriages crossed the avenue in a hurry, puddles splashing back in my direction.
"Dammit!" I tried to dodge from the imminent wave of muddy water, my trench coat getting even more drenched, as if that was possible. I wish I could have opted for the leather jacket and hoodie, when I was given the opportunity.
Soon after I received the dream device I instantly expected many things from it; I expected possible side effects such as headaches, nausea, and maybe - and that's a big maybe - some realistic entertainment.
Certainly, I didn't crossed my mind the possibility of collapsing at the doors of the royal castle, after a long journey through a cobblestone road in the forest, an illegal pegasus ride, and a terrible tour via Canterlot. I was dripping wet and coughing like a sick dog with chronic tuberculosis.
It's a hell of a feeling.
I also wasn't expecting to find the gateways closed for me.
Now that I think about it, it made a lot of sense. It's not like the British royalty would let Buckingham palace doors wide open to every pedestrian, citizens or not of their country. It had to be a limit for fuck's sake. Why would Celestia allow such a thing in Equestria?
She wouldn't.
"What the heck- you must be kidding me!" I whined, standing in front of the gates, my arms open as the rain washed my hopes away.
Two guards approached from the inside, looking at me from behind the fences, spears by their sides. A clear sign of 'don't mess with our shit'
"Human my ass, I'm Lord Goodhart, you must respect me!" I shouted at the stallion, who raised an eyebrow at me, as if I was a dead thing washed ashore. I couldn't look more deplorable.
"How dare you, lord or not, to shout such profanities in front of the royal lands?"
"I dare, because so far, my arrival here has been a disaster! I have come from distant lands beyond the horizon of your planet, only to find Princess Twilight Sparkle." I said, pointing at myself, as the rain oozed from my coat. "You see this? All of this mess wasn't on my plans."
The stallions shared a look, and the unicorn guard spawned a parchment in front of him. When he finally passed his eyes over the whole thing, the paper disappeared, and he turned back at me. "There's no Lord Goodhart mentioned here, I regret you'll have to contact the royal diplomacy bureau again, and explain the situation."
"Look, I don't give a damn about your list, I need to see Twilight Sparkle. It's a very important... Thing."
"It doesn't matter, you are not in the royal list, so far, we can do nothing for you. Besides, Princess Twilight lives in Ponyville." He said, staring to walk away.
"Royal list... Royal lands- you know what, I'm going to shove my royal fist in your face!" The guards stared petrified at me as I jumped on the fence, and for two milliseconds or something between I thought I was about to show them my outstanding human strength, until there was pink.
Yes, a pink flash, and then generalized pain followed by darkness.
I had just been electrocuted by a magical fence. A fucking pony fence. And it hurts so bad, that my blood felt like electrified Gatorade. In lapses of conscience I felt my limp body being carried by creatures I could not see. I was dizzy and senseless. My ears still throbbed, and I couldn't move a muscle, nothing that could help me to get the dream device away from my neck.
It was real, fuck, it was way too real.
If for some reason I returned to my senses missing a liver in a dirty parking lot in Uzbekistan, I wouldn't be surprised.
But for some heavenly reason, that wasn't my final destiny.
When I woke up, a shiver ran through my spine, and not because I was truly awake in my apartment, but because I was still in the simulation. Equestria was running, and my face was planted on a dirt road, tiny rocks still stuck in my skin as I straightened my body.
"W-what the hell is going on?" I grumbled, struggling to get back on my feet. My hands still burned, and two vertical lines marked the place where the bars touched my skin, a painful reminder of my first experience with magic. Still I raised my arm to touch the Dream Device. It was on my neck, where it should be, and I thanked god for that.
A disaster, from everything I had tried, this simulation was the worst thing to ever mess with my nervous system. Not even my experience with LSD and Oculus Rift could've been worse.
I can't say Ada lied to me, but her promises were devil promises. She promised me Equestria, and shit, this was Equestria. Welcome to paradise.
I was ready to give up, go back to my room, eat something and go to sleep. Next morning I'd be ready to accept whatever Neil would have say, because I was stupid to try that shit.
When I was about to pluck the device out of my neck, and forget about Ada forever, someone happened to walk past me.
Yeah, another pony - but not any pony. And in that specific moment, I had the same odd feeling that I wasn't playing the game, it was the system playing with me.
"Sweet Celestia, are you alright?" Twilight Sparkle herself asked me, two saddle bags filled to the top with books by her side, a closed umbrella sticking out from one of them. The rain had stopped, but I was still in the mud.
I chuckled, laying against a tree. Oh the irony...
My trench coat heavy and dripping from water. Half of it covered in a thick layer of dirt.
"Not really..." I said. "But I'll survive."
Looking around, I understood I was no longer in Canterlot. The guards, or heavens knows who, had dropped me in a road near Ponyville. In fact, I could see the easily recognizable town hall rooftop.
"You look terrible, what happened? Are you lost?" Twilight asked, approaching carefully.
"My carriage crashed in the forest, somewhere near Canterlot." I repeated the same old story. "I was in a diplomatic mission- the wind... God it was so strong. A loud cracking noise filled the cabin, and suddenly nothing. When I woke up... Celestia- there were t-these beasts in the forest. I was so scared." I covered my eyes with an arm, cleaning the stains of water and dirt, pretending to wipe a tear. Damn, I was a good psychopath.
"Beasts? What kind of beasts?" She asked, her voice showing concern.
"I don't know... That thing dragged me down here- I'm so sorry... The day is over for me, I just want to go home, take these drenched clothes off, and have some sleep."
"You can't go home like this! You may be hurt, the weather is terrible. I doubt the portals are working in these conditions." Portals... What the hell she's talking about. I wonder if there's a parallel earth, with another version of me, and another Dream Device, leading to another Equestria. I think the idea just broke me.
The thought was carried away when Twilight grabbed my arm with a wing. "Come, I'll give you something to eat, and then we can decide what to do with you Mr..."
"Spencer, just Spencer." I said, happy, even after being humiliated, electrified, fooled, dragged, drenched, and misled. I finally had Twilight - or she had me.
Something flashed, and floating in front of me was a brilliant sign saying:
'Achievement Unlocked: Wrong Choices, Perfect Outcomes'
Author's Note
Sorry for the long hiatus, I hope some of you still remember this story. I'm starting to work on this thing again.
Short chapter, but I want to keep the story moving.
You Never Forget Your First Flight
Feel The Game
Ada disappeared along with the portal as soon as it closed behind my back, leaving me alone in the quietude of the early morning mist.
The dream device beeped, and the game had just started for me.
I turned around my feet, expecting to find an at least recognizable landmark – sugarcube corner, the royal castle, sweet apple acres – but no. Everything was completely unknown to me.
Tall pine trees flanked a seemingly ancient cobblestone road, in which small patches of moss flourished through the gaps between the rocks, the portal had brought me to the foothills of a small mountain range, and the only visible path zigzagged up the steep slope.
"You must be kidding me..." I muttered.
Ada promised me a trip to Equestria, and hey – I was there – but in the middle of nowhere.
With no other way out, I decided to follow the road – with some luck, it would lead me to the pony butts. Dammit, I was in their world for Celestia's sake – after decades of waiting, I could finally rub it in the face of my brony friends – that if I had any.
The golden coins in my pocket jangled recklessly as I strode up the hill, I ran my fingers through that small fortune of mine, saying to myself that in the worst case scenario, I would still be able to hire a high-end luxury escort to cuddle up with me. I guess I had a thing for pegasus ponies, and a cute feathered mare would be just perfect – heck, I'd love to play with her wings, feel my hand digging into her feathers until she started to moan and- What the hell was I thinking about anyway?
Those coins were made to be spent with a very special somepony – not some random pegasus slut.
Sluts and coins aside, my mind was focused on the road – and the road was empty as a graveyard at midnight – the path was full of ups and downs, and in some specific curves, the trees seemed to lean over my head like a huge wave at the sea. My trench coat wasn't heavy, but there were no credit cards in Equestria, and it was quite cumbersome to carry those coins around – slowly, I was getting tired from the constant battle against the slope.
So far, I hadn't seen any signs of being in the pony world. Heck, judging by Ada's sense of humor, she could have sent me to medieval Europe – and I wouldn't even know the difference until someone decided to burn me at the stake.
I never thought one could feel exhaustion in a simulated reality, but hell – my legs were on fire. The Dream Device was playing with my central nervous system – editing and deceiving my nerve terminals – and the result was a replica of sensations. The world perceived by my trickled senses, was just as real as the real world.
And this thought could be quite unsettling, so I pretended to ignore it.
After hours of tiresome wanderings, I realized that an open world game is not entertaining at all, when you find yourself stuck in the skin of the player. When I was about to sit down in a boulder and curse Ada for the rest of my day, the distinct sound of hooves clanking against stone resounded through the woods.
I stopped in place, observing as a pale white mare came trotting down the hill, a wavy scarf wrapped around her neck alongside with a purple saddlebag by her side. She was a pegasus – and unlike Ada – she probably had no idea as to why a strange man would interrupt her journey. In a crazy way, this pony was unaware of the real world behind this artificial veil – still – she was very real. The mare slowed down upon seeing me – and I thanked god for that – because she would be my ride to Canterlot.
"Excuse me-" I said, waving as she approached. The mare gave me an odd look when I got up from the boulder by the road, and I had no idea of what to expect. It wasn't a terrible kind of look by itself – but it made me feel like I had something green stuck in my teeth.
"Y-yes?" She replied, standing at a safe distance from me. It's not like I was about to force some struggle snuggle with her, anyway.
"May I ask... where am I, exactly ?" I forced a smile, shaking a drop of sweat from my forehead.
"S-sorry?" She cocked an eyebrow at me, while she probably meant 'what the hell are you talking about, fella?'
"Ah... My carriage – It crashed down there, a terrible accident..." I vaguely pointed at nowhere in specific, pretending to be worried about some other stupid consequence. "As you can see, I'm not an Equestrian citizen – but I have an appointment with a very, very, important somepony. Please, I just need to arrive in Canterlot as fast as possible" So I can dine, drink, and possibly have some sex with one of your princesses, that's it.
"Oh, but this road leads to Canterlot, sir. The city is just a few miles ahead."
"Is that so? Just a few miles , you say?" She just nodded. I stared at the mountain range for a few seconds, and my subconscious mind repeated that I would probably die before reaching the top. "Look... I give you two of these pretty golden coins if you give me a ride to the city."
The mare gasped, looking at me with a mix of awe and disbelief as I picked up my coin purse. Those were heavy bits, a pair of thick ornate coins, and they seemed to be made of nothing but solid, pure – gold. I soon realized that I had probably offered an absurd amount of money.
Ponies had such an old monetary system.
"L-look, I can't accept that – b-besides, I wouldn't be able to-"
"I give you five! Come on – five golden coins, for Christ's sake!" I pushed the coins into her saddlebag, even though she tried to walk away. "You're a strong pegasus, and I am nothing but an exhausted diplomat, trying to achieve consensus and build foreign relations – just let me hop on your back as you fly back to the city."
Looking at the money I had just forced her to accept, and then staring back at the poor exhausted 'diplomat', she sighed.
"Very well then... But keep in mind Mr- What's your name anyway?"
"Freeman, Morgan Freeman." I laughed internally.
"Very well, Mr. Freeman – keep in mind that I'm not used to carry living humans on my back. Take this as a disclaimer: I'm not responsible if you eventually fall to your death."
"I'm not even considering this possibility, honey pot." I said.
"Just for you to know, my name is not 'Honey Pot' – It's Sweet Thoughts." She pointed to her cutie mark, which looked like a crystallized silvery cloud, alongside with an equally crystallized parchment.
"Whatever Sugary Coat – let me ride you now, will ya?" She gasped as I grabbed her flanks, positioning myself behind her wings. I wondered; what kind of sweet thoughts was she able to evoke, anyway? "Ah... You'll not have a wingb-"
"No!" She yelled. "Shut up, for Celetia's sake, I need some focus to take off– It's not like I'm carrying an extra feather."
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry – I wouldn't like to see what happens when a pegasus gets one of those in mid air. I just don't want to be on-board of some sinking ship, if you know what I mean." I chuckled – Sweet Thoughts facehoofed, probably regretful for having accepted my cursed money.
"Just... Stay away from my wings, okay?" She impatiently said. "Keep your arms around my neck, this way you won't fall when I take off – and please, try to not suffocate me – I'm not made of steel."
"Alright, alright." Following her advice, I hugged her neck from behind, laughing a little as I contemplated such an unbelievable scene. Some people ride motorcycles, I ride flying ponies.
"Hold down now, this may be a bit bumpy."
"This wha-"
Too late.
"I said put me down!! Put me down, you suicidal chicken! " I screamed in panic, as Sweet Thoughts laughed, dodging from the trees and cliffs – doing pretty much everything to scare the hell outta me.
"Be careful on what you wish for, Morgan! You might get it!"
As she finally managed to fly high enough, there was nothing but silence. My heart still pounded inside my chest, and I could barely open my eyes because of the wind. I peeked through my eyelids, and the sight – it was unbelievable.
Standing miles above the multicolored plains of Equestria, perched in the mountains, was a city of marble and gold – all those shining rooftops emerged from the mountain, Canterlot extended its roads through the stone plateau, unlike the royal part of the city, which seemed to float in a world of its own.
Sweet Thoughts talked to me, but for the first time, I was speechless. My trench coat flowed in the wind alongside with Sweet's mane, I held on tightly, hugging her fluffy neck.
"... Hey, are you even listening to me?" She asked.
"Oh- Yeah – I mean, no, I'm sorry."
"Where do you want to stay – any specific place?"
As she started to slow down, I could catch a glimpse of the city life unwrapping itself. All the details, all the simple things, they shocked me – I was dealing with real shit – ponies walked in and out of their houses, golden carriages arrived at the castle, the streets throbbed with life. I can't say it looked like the show. It didn't looked like the show – It was... Alive. They were living things, with muscles, brains, blood – and you suddenly realize that the game is playing you.
"J-just... I'll stay at the main avenue. I don't know how you ponies call it, just leave me somewhere near the castle." Sweet just nodded.
She extended her hooves again, and galloped until we reached the street level, it was then, when everyone suddenly stopped. The ponies stared at me with the same look in their faces, whispering almost inaudible things to each other.
The Dream Device beeped again, and a message appeared in mid air.
[color=#3c26af]'Achievement Unlocked – You never forget your first flight'[/color]
"Ah... You can get off me now." The pegasus frowned.
"Oh! Yeah, sorry for that." I chuckled awkwardly, as I safely landed on the street, narcissistically checking my hair – it was a complete mess again.
Slowly, the ponies resumed their lives, eventually ignoring my presence again – I was in their world – I was a foreign, an alien. And this concept couldn't leave my head. What if I messed with somepony? What if a stallion kicked my balls for flirting with his mare – would it even hurt?
"Are you... Okay?"
I raised my head again, realizing I was staring at the ground, lost in thoughts.
"Yeah, I'll be fine." I replied hesitatingly. "I just need to sit down in a cafe or something – to think about... stuff" I forced a smile.
"You're a weird creature." She giggled, shaking her head at me. "It was nice meeting a human being, but I really have to go... You know, to deal with 'stuff'."
"Weird indeed, but thank you Sweet, you saved my day." I said "Just one last question – what's your special talent, I couldn't figure it out yet." I raised an eyebrow as I the white mare looked at me and bit her lips.
"You don't really want to know, honey." As she passed in front of me before leaving, her wing tips brushed against my pants, and my head was instantly flooded by mind-blowing thoughts. In a matter of seconds, it all disappeared, and I stared at her in disbelief.
"So long, and thanks for all the bits! Spencer "
***
Author's Note
What is Sweet Thoughts special talent?
