The spell-binding tales of NAH, The Non-Adventerous Human.

At least I’ve taken a nap first.

That was my first thought as I looked down at the box that couldn’t have been more in the way of my front door if it had tried.  I can only imagine the stupidity I would unleash if I was still sleepy.

The box seemed somewhat out of place if only because it was intact. Remarkably so for sitting on the sidewalk for who knows how long.

It was at this point that a passing by neighbor let me know that I was standing there sans pants. Pants are very important. It’s hard to deal with life without pants.

I returned quickly, now sporting a ridiculously awesome pair of pants, and opened the box.

This is where I stand: ridiculously awesome pair of pants, box in my way containing a small baby technicolor winged horse-thingy, and instructions on said box to “Give to a good home.”

Fortunately I had my nap so my brain was rather refreshed and knew exactly what to do.

I dialed a number into my phone. “Hello? Animal Control?”

Some undisclosed amount of time later

At least I’ve put them on speed dial first.

That was my first thought as I opened my closet to find a cyan colored unicorn, of all things, staring back at me. I could only imagine the amount of stupidity that could have been unleashed in the ensuing shenanigans that would have occurred if I had not reprogrammed my speed earlier that day.

The unicorn and I shared a studious glance at each other before the mythical creature looked down and took notice of my lack of pants. Which, to be fair, was not my fault this time. I had just come from the shower and had opened my closet to get my ridiculously awesome pair of pants. So I couldn’t be blamed for my pantsless state as I wasn’t even able to get to my pants yet. But I digress.

After taking an uncomfortable note of my lack of pants the unicorn looked back up at me.  I immediately reached for my phone and hit 5 on the speed dial.

“Hello? Animal control? Yeah I got another one. And could you do me a favor and hustle? This one is staring at me and my hands funny.”

Even more undisclosed amount of time later

At least I put on some pants first.

That was my first thought as I went to answer a knock at the door. I can only imagine the amount of stupidity that would be unleashed if I had answered the door lacking pants. The only downside was they weren’t my ridiculously awesome pair of pants. Those were in the wash. It was laundry day after all.

Anyways I opened the door and found myself nose to nose with a full sized horse-thingy. This one came in a white coat with a horn and wings and weird ethereal pastel blops instead of hair for a tail and mane. It was also sporting some pretty expensive looking jewelry for some odd reason as well that just screamed “Royalty!”

I closed the door, pulled out my phone and hit 5 on the speed dial.