Cortana? This has got to be a prank... Right?

OMNOMOMNOM

"Why are you so ravenous?"

"Bjsoap, aljkd paj jdo"

"Swallow."

GULP

"Because, I just got out of a 1000 year imprisonment."

OMNOMOMNOMOMNOM

"Right."

~1 Hour later~

"Finito!"

"Just say finished normally."

"Fine."

"Hmmmm... I see enemies on the radar!"

He pulled out a magnum just as the 300 royal guards came out of the foliage surrounding them.

"I think you should try to use Charge or use Quick Vehicle."

"I think... Both."

"Mongoose?"

"Hmmmm... Yea."

VWORPLE

There you go!"

There was a mongoose with a green color scheme and Charge sitting on the seat of it.

"Let's do this!"

He got on the seat and started driving when...

"HALT, FOUL CREATURE!"

Luna was hovering in my way. I charged through her and threw a frag grenade behind me so I can get rid of her.

KABOOM

"Hopefully that worked."

"Yeah."

The guards were still chasing us so I used Charge to fire holy lightning at them which electrocuted a unicorn and then the lightning passed to every unicorn except the one with purple armour which had a magical shield up.

"Heh. What he doesn't know is that magic is a conductor for holy lightning... And it attracts it." Whispered John

The unicorn with a shield up was then electrocuted by the holy lightning. John used water blast and quickly stood up on the mongoose and blasted the guards, he quickly sat back down and steered out of the way of a tree and a manticore which was picked up by a lot of pegasi and threw at me. I responded by using an air blast which sent the manticore at the pegasi which picked it up. Poor fella's. I then activated promethean vision to see if their were any ambushes waiting for me. I saw one with Luna and some... Bat versions of the guards? Whatever. I used the brakes and drifted around to face the 300 and then drove forward. I used Charge to clear a path for me and drove through the guards. I turned my head around and saw a guard on my mongoose who was using magic. I grabbed Charge and shot him but was too late as the mongoose exploded and sent me flying into a tree, knocking me out.

"Thou shalt face punishment fit for your crimes..."

~???~

"Yeeeees..."

~Interrogation room~

"Wake up!" Screamed a voice.

"Wha..."

"We are questioning you! Wake up!"

"Ok..."

I woke up and saw Celestia standing in front of me, with a purple pony standing by her with a note pad.

"I won't answer anything unless you fix Cortana!"

"...Fine."

Her horn flared to life and I felt a tingling in the back of my neck.

"Chief! It worked!"

"YES!"

Twilight suddenly appeared in front of him and asked, "So why are you evil?"

"I am not."

Twilight then asked, "Then why did you kill a pony?"

"That bearded one?"

Twilight started shaking, "You killed Starswirl the Bearded?"

"It was an accident! I appeared on the moon and jumped!"

Twilight calmed down. A little. "Well... Celestia!"

"Yes Twilight?"

She whispered something to Celestia, to which Celestia's eyes widened and she said, "If you think so Twilight..."

"What?" Asked John.

Twilight answered John by turning to him and saying, "We will let you stay with me as long as you answer my questions and don't do anything bad."

"...Deal."

"Hey Chief!"

"Yeah?"

"Master Chief and Twilight, sitting under a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"

"SHUT UP!" Shouted both John and Twilight.