Clock Is Ticking

Rainbow Dash was partying all night long. You would think that it would have been Pinkie Pie doing the partying, but you would be wrong.

She was partying to celebrate her latest acquittal. Tonight's party was especially unique, given the gravity of the charges that had been lain against her.

"Can you believe it, Tank? They called me a domestic terrorist! Ha-ha, what a laugh. Good thing the judge called the police raid 'unclopstitrutional' and dismissed the charges."

Rainbow danced for what seemed like forever with her sleepy-eyed pet.

And it was forever.

For, unbeknownst to Rainbow Dash, her trial was actually a facade and she had actually been sentenced in absentia by a secret court to an eternal sentence in magic purgatory, which is not at all like real purgatory -- more like limbo -- but, you know, linguistic conventions are hell to change. Her punishment was to continue doing forever what she had been doing when she was killed by that freak meteor strike.

Yeah, they sentenced her post-mortem. Celestia is basically the pope. She can bring a corpse to trial if she damn well pleases, goddammit!

Anyway, if you've played Bioshock Infinite, you basically already know how this story ends.