Clock Is Ticking

Twilight Sparkle didn't know what to think when she saw Pinkie Pie with ashes on her forehead. "Pinkie Pie, I don't know what to think," she said. "Why do you have ashes on your forehead?"

Pinkie giggled. "Oh, these? I just came back from the yearly book burning festival."

Twilight's eyes rolled into the back of her head, and then kept going. They spilled out onto the floor and began expanding like shaving cream coming out of the can. Pinkie began blowing party favors, slowly at first then gradually faster, creating ominous background music for the biologically inexplicable event.

Spike looked nonchalantly down at the happenings from upstairs, then went back to sweeping the floor.

Twilight's jaw fell off and took her tongue with it, so that her face was missing its lower half. Meanwhile her tail-hair stood straight out and became still, then sharp, and the individual tail hairs began firing off in all directions like deadly whisper-thin steel needles. At the same time, two counties away, Twilight's mother broke her back.

Pinkie chanted the ritual incantation as Twilight finally split longitudinally in two, exposing her spinal cord and internal organs for all to see in a perfect medical cross-section. Her ghost rose from the pile of weirdly decaying flesh, and just as it was about to pass into the ether, it shouted:

"You burned BOOKS!?"

Pinkie looked confused for a moment. "Oops, did I say book burning? I actually meant brick burning. You know, in a kiln. Gotta make that clay nice and hard so it doesn't let the weather in!" Pinkie grinned widely.

With that, Twilight's ghost vanished in a blaze of holy fire to the realm between dimensions, leaving behind nothing but a pile of ashes.