Oh,The World!

"Yeah,I know that I could have started on a better story!"

"Then why the heck are you writing about this?"

"I don't know,because I think it's not always about the readers opinion,you know that-"

"Bro,just..."

"They are watching us speak imaginary me!Quick,hide!"

This is followed by me and my ghostly-imaginary friend jumping out of the window.However,we are humans.And we died,but not him....the end.

*Cough*

*Cough*

Nah,that was shit rubbish.Now I could just start writing about this bloody story wanka'.

Somewhere on...eerrrr.......Earth?

"Yo'." A dude greeted a another dude.

"Yo'." The other dude replied.

"So,wasup' homie?How ya' childrin' goin',how ya' waif goin',how ya dawg goin?" The uneducated dude spoke.

"Yo' man,shit ain't right man,stuff going bad,MAN,ma' children' ain't gud' man,how ya' doin' eithar' maaaan?" The second dude shot out.

"Yo',yo',stuff ain't gud' aithar' hiar maaaan.Ma' countre' iz' gettin' bawmbed maaaan."

"Awh,hell maaaaan."

"I kno' man."

"Goin' to git' a re-feel maaaaan."

"Okay man."

"Bai' dawg,got ta' go,militare' iz' kalin on meh'."

"Saim man'."

This is a usual conversation between human species,since the war has been going on...for probably 300 years,and we still didn't destroy the planet.And Gordon Freeman still isn't around,we can only hope for Black Mesa to explode,oh wait....we accidentally dropped a nuke on it..oh noessssss,such horrifying accident...waaaaaaaaaahhhh...*COUGH*,and what is the author doing you ask?I'm going to tell this loud and clear,He is in the bathroom,didn't come from it since he ate that Taco last week.Oh,I should get back on the story.Again,humanity has been waging war against itself for 17* years,every single nation managed to bomb each other,in that minute.But now that we accidentally hit some of the alien observers with nuclear weaponry and missiles.Hell,they think we want war.So we dragged in:The Combine,The Batman empire,The Atelian Empire,The Confederation of Admiral Douche,The Federation,The World Wrestling Federation,etc....And now,as Earth is being scorched by aliens who went ballistic on our asses,we managed to create a magical portal working on African voodoo and some stupid IPhone battery.Massive amounts of humans passed through the portal,as it was the size of my table.We didn't manage to get the sacred supplies in,we no longer have fast food restourants....horrible.....just horrible.So I was-The time stops,as the real Author is really sick of this and he teleports you in a more better place.

Ponyville,Equestria.

It was a ordinary,cheerful,happy day.Until a mine-table sized portal appeared,with humans starting to appear from it.Ponies started shrieking as panic filled up the air."Sweet Celestia,save us!"or "CELESTIA HELP ME!"or "DAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHH!"but one scream stood out."The illuminati are here!"  And as humans are always scared of aliens,and now.Cute,aliens.Most of the armed forces of Humanity appear,as the start beating ponies up with branches and leaves. ((That was the most advanced technology on Earth,no kid' bruh.))

"This is the promised land!Let's slaughter all the natives!"

A loud "YEAH" was heard from the still coming crowd.As the humans took over Ponyville,many were crying out for a medic.Severly hurt by tripping on a rock.

Some stoopid time later.

The humans have taken over Ponyville,they start to establish basic defenses,but.The portal was still pouring in humans,so in the town hall.The speech about how humanity rules everything,blah,blah,blah.Ponies are savages,blah,blah,blah, is occurring.

"My dear fellow citizens of our former land!" The assumed leader whom has stepped out of the crowd in the midst of the attention."These lands are ours now!And those savage equines and freak creatures deserve death by sticks and stones!",this was followed by a loud cheer,as sticks somehow shot bullets in the air."We are the supreme rulers of this land!I will lead us to victory!",another cheer occurred.

That day was known,as the cocainum feast.As the human forces prepared for war,battalions of branch-carrying troops massed,combined with Mount & Blade stone throwers turning them into ravenous legions ready to consume Equestria.

Canterlot,Equestria

"Oh,well shit." A guard had a annoyed face. While the neighbouring guard looked at him,raising his eyebrow."What is it?" He asks. "Look over there,at Ponyville." He handed the ultra-mega-giga-scope to his neighbour who dropped his jaw in the sight of the advanced human fortifications,the miniature mud walls were in a bloody good shape.Ready to defend the new faction whom has appeared. "We should report this to HQ...."

"Yeah,you are right." The first guard answered,as they both left their posts to report this odd case.Also ponies that ran away from Ponyville became suicide bombers and killed a few human guards in the name of Celestia.And Changelings tried figuring out how to launch stones back at the human legions.Oh well,that is life.And Appleloosa declared independence,they all sadly got killed by Buffaloes.That's life t-I get shot in the face by a sniper rifle.Shit is about to go up,and it ain't gonna be gud' m8.Yu kno' bruddah'.Shit always happens,also I am narrating crap right now,hope you enjoyed my freak show,dumb@ss.

The end of chapter 1.