A Tiger in Equestria

Well, since we're drunk, I decided it would be best if we didn't hang out in the streets where we could, in our drunken stupor do some stupid things. Like flirt with the tank, and get into a fight over who would get to marry it. That was one of the weirdest days in my life. My solution was to get back to our rooms and sleep until we were sober again. Damn Gerhard, the lucky bastard, has this weird innate ability to not have hangovers, even when intoxicated into unconsciousness. The rest of us weren't so lucky. Now, here are some weird things about the wedding that I've noticed. It's an open wedding, meaning anyone could just literally walk into the palace, which is stupid since you have the Captain of the Royal Guard, lots of local nobles, two Princesses, Twilight and her friends. Their security awareness was about non-existent. Other than that, is how snobby the locals are. I mean, one even said "Monsters like you should be locked up in the dungeon!" It took my crew and my guards to restrain me from just unholstering my Luger and blowing a hole in her face. To prevent myself from causing more diplomatic incidents, I went back to my room and waited until it was time for the wedding.

"Midnight?" She slightly cocked her head to the side.

"Uh, yes?"

"My tank is still in the parking field right?"

"Yes?"

"Great." I stood up and grabbed all of my gear. She unfolded her legs, which were tucked into her, making her look like some sort of tortoise, and stood up.

"Where are you going?"

"To get my tank." I had slung the STG-44 over my back.

"Why?"

"Because, it's the only thing I'm comfortable with? My only part of my homeland left?" She gave up and walked next to me.

"Time's up sleepyheads!" The response were a lot of thumps coming from the rooms. I had a nice mental image of Gerhard falling off his bed. They came out a while later with their weapons.

"Alright, let's get this over with." We got back into the tank, and weirdly enough, I started to hear someone start singing, "This day is going to be—" I closed the hatch. I am not listening to some sappy song. Though, I barely was able to hear it over the giant rumbling of the tank anyway. Eh not complaining.

So, someone who would want to appear modest, would've have left his or her tank, then walked on foot into the wedding hall. I am not someone who likes appearing modest. Besides, our projection of power has only helped us so far, it's apparently enticing literally everyone to try and find out our secrets. And, it's helping me learn more about them. So far,what I know of them, is that the nobles are absolute pompous pricks, their spies are horrible at stealth, their army, based off their armour, is impractical. Generally enough, the ponies are also racist and extremely suspicious of strangers. This is world isn't too happy to be living in as an alien is it?

Now, imagine their faces, when we drove the tank into the wedding hall, and parked up in a side of the hall. Oh it was Gerhard's greatest day I imagine. The giant grin he was sporting after gluing his face to the driver slit would also be another indicator. Alright, who's here. The Elements of Harmony, minus Twilight, Princess Celestia, Shining Armor and Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, that dragon. Huh, usually Twilight's always right next to a combination of the above ponies. They were going through some rehearsals that I wasn't paying attention to, because... No offense, but it's kinda boring to anyone not involved. I did start to pay attention when that dragon... Spike, I think, accidentally flung a toy onto the tank, making a giant clang sound which made me snap back to full alertness.

Shining Armor was saying, "Hey, has anybody seen Twilight?"

And speak of the devil here she is... Using magic to slam open the door.

"I'm here! And I'm not going to stand next to her! And neither should you!" Wait, what? Okay, this has been the most entertaining thing so far.

Shining Armor made an embarrassed face and told Princess Mi Amore — You know what, I'm going to call her Cadenza. "Im sorry — I don't know why she's acting like this."

Princess Cadenza looked about ready to rip Twilight's head off at that point. "Maybe we should just ignore her."

Twilight, probably hearing that, said "You have to listen to me!"

That pale yellow one... Uh... Fluttershy? went over to her. "Goodness, are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

Then... Okay, this one has apples, Applejack, also joined Fluttershy, "You're sure about that?"

Twilight used magic to lift her hat and cover her face with it.

"I've got something to say." She strode purposefully down the carpet, while doing so, I sneaked a glance at  the two guards wielding spears. I think I don't need to repeat why this is dumb okay? My crew, although not really understanding whatever was being said, knew something was going to happen.

"She's evil." I facepalmed at that. Wow. I know your security was bad but, this is on a whole new level. Either Twilight was insane, which I'm quite inclined to believe right now, or someone had managed to infiltrate the fucking capital of a giant nation, through the guards that guarded the palace, take the appearance of a fucking Princess, and manage to fool everyone close. Yeah, I'm going to lean towards Twilight being insane, or at least wrong about this somehow. I normally would intervene, but the personal affairs of others, of the royals of a country no less, is not my jurisdiction. Seeing as I won't be much of a help, we got back into the tank, the guards assigned to me watching the drama unfold. This was gonna be a very long rehearsal.