A Tiger in Equestria

I woke up with a giant pain in my back, my spine seemed it was in 5 different places in my body, and my neck felt like it had already snapped. In hindsight, sleeping on the floor of a metal tank wasn't the best of ideas. My back decided that it wanted to give up at that second, and I fell back onto the floor of the tank. Scratch that, worst idea ever. After doing a little stretching, I woke up the rest of the crew. Their sleeping schedules meant that they would've woken up a few minutes later anyway. I opened the tank hatch and stepped onto the turret. How did I get here, I was a good soldier, fighting valiantly against the Communist and Allied scum. I was stopped from walking into the town by a magenta barrier. What the? Oh you idiots have the balls to surround me and my soldiers?!

I walked up to the nearest pony I could find. This was one of the males, a stallion I believe, from the shape of its muzzle. He was wearing golden armor, which also seemed to only protect half of his body. Whoever designed these is an idiot, and he should be fired for using something so valuable as gold for armor.

"You! Stop!"

He seemed to jump up six feet in the air with that, and it would have been very funny if the circumstances were different.

"What is the meaning of this!?" Gesturing towards the giant dome around my tank.

"Royal Guard Captain Shining Armor made it."

"Well, bring this Shining Armor to me then!"

He ran off as if the Communists were after him in a mass charge.

I inspected the shield as I waited. Besides being a dome shape, it seemed to be translucent, allowing us to see through and others on the other side to see us too. Then they're not trying to conceal us then. The dome thing was magenta, which made me want to punch Shining Armor for making it in such a girly colour. If he erected this dome over us in a night, then could he have at least made it something less girly? No wait I'm in a world with talking ponies, never mind. It seemed to be pretty thin, at best half a centimeter thick. When I touched it, it felt cold and hard, as if I was touching metal.

That guard I talked to brought Shining Armor as fast as possible. Shining Armor quickly dismissed the guard, who ran away at the speed that looked like another charge was on its way. Shining Armor narrowed his eyes at me from the reaction of the guard. I was not taking any of it.

"What in the name of the Fuhrer compelled you to make a shield around us?"

"You are a threat to Equestria."Not this trash again. I'm getting tired of having to answer the same question over and over again.

"For the last time, we are not a threat to Equestria!"

"We are not lowering the shield for you, unless ordered by Princess Celestia."

"Well where is she?"

"She is currently in Canterlot, dealing with important business." Why do I have a feeling that you made it so?

"Fine!"

I stomped back to the tank and went back in. But I was not giving up without a fight, oh no. I'm gonna break this shield of yours, see what happens then.

"Albrecht, Bernhard, stop whatever it is you're doing. Those assholes out there decided that a shield would stop us. Let's prove them wrong."

Both quickly got to their feet and went back to their positions. They worked like a well oiled machine.

"Target fifty meters, at seventy degree slope." Albrecht was aiming the gun.

"Alright, this calls for a PzGr 40/43" After checking the shells, Bernhard grabbed one of them and shoved it into the turret, slamming the door shut.

"Loaded!"

"Aimed!"

They both looked at me for a second, and I opened the hatch to see before I gave them the order.

"Fire!"

The tank rattled as it fired off the Armor-Piercing shot. It produced an immensely loud bang, but we were used to it. As for the ponies... In the split second I saw them, their ears were all flat on their heads, they were all flat on the floor, with their front hooves over their heads. Then the shell hit the shield. Even with the angle, the shell easily penetrated the dome, and it shattered like glass. I closed the hatch before some of the pieces could get into the tank. When I couldn't hear the sound of the dome's pieces clattering around. Which sounds surprisingly similar to glass. I opened the hatch to find all the ponies in that weird crouching position, except for the guards and Shining Armor, who were looking at us while their jaw muscles malfunctioned. I gave them a victorious smile before patting Albrecht and Bernhard on the back.

"Nice job, now, I'm going to see about getting us some meat. Hand me that Flammenwerfer."

Stepping out of the tank and onto the street, it appears that they were in shock, as they had been in that position for the last minute or so. I couldn't care less as I walked off to the forest to find us some nice meat. And roast it in the process. Shining Armor and his guards hadn't moved and were just looking at me, their jaws still malfunctioning. I walked over to the nearest stand that sold food. I snapped my fingers in front of him, and he jumped seven feet in the air. We could have a high jump competition at this rate. He looked at me and quickly threw his hooves in front of his face.

"I'm sorry, please don't hurt me with that giant loud thing!"

"All I want is just some food buddy."

He lowered his hooves and then looked at me.

"What do you want then?"

"Do you have some meat?"

A look of pure horror came over his face while running as fast as possible. why are they all athletes? Now why was he scared when I mentioned meat? He didn't think that I would have... oh. You idiots thought I would eat you, didn't you. Facepalming, I went over to the next stall which sold food. This one was run by a female pony, and she had the same reaction as that earlier stall owner. The conversation went about the same way, but this time I asked her one more question.

"What do I pay with?"

"Oh, you pay with bits."

"What are bits?"

She gave me an incredulous looked before grabbing a bit from somewhere in the stall and showing it to me.

"Is this gold?!"

"Yes, why?"

You've got to be fucking kidding me, a race that uses the most precious metal for a currency?!

"Would these work?" I asked as I grabbed a few silver Reichsmark and showed them to her. Her face lit up at the sight of silver. A race that uses the most valuable metal for currency, and silver is the most precious metal. What have I gotten myself into.

"Oh yes, silver would do just fine, what would you want?"

"I would like some meat please."

She had the exact same reaction as the stall owner before.

Guess I'll have to hunt for them myself.

I walked towards that creepy forest before, hoping that I get lucky and get some meat to roast.