A Tiger in Equestria

As I walked on into the forest, I passed by that farm again. Not much had changed besides buckets being placed all around every single tree. What? Scared the apples will fall without you noticing? As I walked along the white fence, I heard a loud 'thunk' sound every once in a while, accompanied by a lot of individual 'thunks'. After passing the pathway in, I saw the orange pony from earlier, using her hind legs to hit the tree. Well, that tree pissed her off. Then the apples proceeded to fall from the tree and into the buckets below. That's a really efficient system, if used correctly. How does she even know how hard to kick the trees? Add to that, every apple is grown differently on the branches. They need different amounts of force to make them drop. Too hard and the whole tree falls down, too light and nothing falls out. It's a ridiculous method! I shook my head and continued walking down to the forest.

I saw a sign that named this the 'Everfree Forest' and someone had drawn a skull and crossbones on it. That's either the chemical warning for 'Toxic' or there's a pirate in there. Why not write 'Abandon hope all ye who enter here' as well? As I continued to walk in, the density of the leaves slowly increased, until the sun couldn't get in anymore. A fog had suddenly appeared out of nowhere, and the trees suddenly had scary faces on them. Well this looks familiar to all the horror movies I've watched. My natural Paranoia started to kick in, and I quickly turned my head all around the forest, extremely alert of anything. This paranoia's saved my life, so I'm not giving it up yet. While the fog grew thicker and the trees closer, I got more and more paranoid. There's something in that bush? No wait, just a branch. I noticed a bunch of blue flowers somewhere ahead. Biology lessons have told me that, the more colorful it looks, the more poisonous it is. Not touching that stuff. Something roared where I wasn't looking. I immediately went into a combat stance and looked where the roaring had come from.

Oh god what the bloody hell is that thing!? It had the body of a wolf, and it seemed to be made out of wood. It had glowing eyes and had a leaf where their eyebrows should have been. I grabbed my Luger and immediately fired seven shots into it. They all penetrated, and flew out the other side into the forest. For once penetration doesn't help me here. The wooden wolf looked down at itself and saw the seven bullet holes in it. It growled its teeth at the sight of it. Okay now it's just more pissed. Wait, it's made out of wood! I shoved the Luger into a pocket and grabbed the Flammenwerfer. It was confused, then it looked like it gave up processing and leaped at me. I barely got the nozzle up in time to shoot the fire into his face. The wooden wolf, being made out of wood, along with it being dry as wolves don't like being wet, The wood immediately caught fire and the wolf gave a giant loud howl of pain. Before his friends arrived, I immediately made a beeline towards the entrance. It appeared the howling had attracted something else as well, this time it looked like a lion, had what looked like bat wings, and had a stinger as its tail like a scorpion. I didn't even try to register it anymore, just immediately used the flamethrower on it, and when it stopped moving, dragged his corpse out of the forest. Took me a good ten minutes to do so. As I dragged the corpse down the street into Ponyville, every single pony gave me looks that were a mixture of fear and awe. The guards especially, whose jaws malfunctioned again as they saw me dragging the darned thing near the tank. I hammered on the hatch, and when Bernhard opened the hatch, something came to my mind.

If those darned ponies find the shell they could replicate it...

"Bernhard! Find the shell that was fired and bring it back now!"

He jumped up and ran off to try and find the spent shell. The rest jumped out to see what I was doing, their eyes looked extremely confused when they saw the lion-scorpion-bat hybrid, then they threw up their arms. Yeah, I know, what else can this crazy world throw at us?

"Anyone up for some roasted meat?"

They jumped off an began using combat knives to carve out pieces from the corpse.