From Human To Pony

Humans... We're the most intelligent race that we know of on the planet, right? Except for of course, dolphins, I mean, those guys are pretty smart. They'll probably take over the world soon... They're planning something with that freaky dolphin language of theirs, I'm telling ya!

Anyway, we should be grateful that we get to be a cool species, like a human, or a dolphin. Not something stupid, like a freakin' cow, or a feminist. But what if that privilege of intelligence was suddenly taken from you? What if, you were not only reduced to a farm animal, but a pretty pastel colored one? One that lives in a magical kingdom filled with other pretty pastel colored farm animals? What if all of those farm animals, including you, were ponies?

Well, that is exactly what happened to me, Euan Gilmour. I remember it all; It's not exactly the sort of thing you can forget easily. Picture the moment: June 20th, It's been an exhausting day, and you just want to get some sleep, and prepare yourself for another exhausting day. You climb into bed and try to let a relaxing wave of slumber drift over you... Nope. Gee thanks weather! No no, it's absolutely fine for you to brew up a storm when I'm severely sleep deprived! You toss and turn, trying desperately to block out the thunder and lightning. Now you could choose to be boring and scientific about things and believe in the real cause of a storm, but I like to be a little more creative about things. I mean sure, I do know the true meaning of things, and if I was asked, I would answer in the scientific way, but in my head, it's always more fun to make up your own reasoning for things. I have several explanations for storms. I mean, the vikings had their theory that it was Thor, rolling along in his pimp chariot, pulled by goats, and striking his hammer against metal. I like to think it's just an evil flying creature, kicking clouds. Anyway, as I was saying: You stay up all night, the sound of the storm deafening, but at the same time, mystifying...

This doesn't sound like any normal storm... No, this was not Thor at it in his pimp chariot again, this was no storm. You speculate for a few minutes, you can't quite describe what it sounds like, but you don't need to think about it any longer; you lose all consciousness, and collapse. Well, I suppose you got what you wanted!

And that, is what happened to me, on the night of June 20th. What date it was when i woke up was uncertain, for when I did, I found myself in a clearing of a very strange looking, dark forest. Perhaps the more important point to bring up however, is the fact that i was a pony. A pretty, pastel colored pony.