IDKFA

The bald, shotgun-wielding pony, Former Sergeant, laughed at the green-maned pony, Former Human.

"You fucking pissed your pants?!" Former Sergeant wheezed.

"The marine had a BFG 9000." Former Human said with a blank face.

Former Sergeant stopped laughing. "I apologize for my behavior."

Heavy Weapon Dude laughed at the two soldiers.

"Cowards!" He barked. "You two are weaker than Heavy Weapon Dude. He could kill marine with three bullets!"

"Hey. That motherfucker punched three chaingunners to death with his fists. Without that red medkit."

Heavy Weapon Dude stopped laughing. "Heavy Weapon Dude apologizes for his behavior."

"So what do we do now?" Former Sergeant asked his two companions.

"I guess we just find some civilization or something." Former Human replied with a tired look on his face.

"Three newcomers are looking for civilization? You are in luck, for I know the location."

Former Human, Former Sergeant, and Heavy Weapon Dude turned to their left, seeing a female zebra with a brown bag full of potions.

"Who are you?" Former Human asked.

"Zecora is what you may call me. Who are you three?"

"I'm Former Human." The green-maned pony answered. "The bald one is Former Sergeant, and the bit one is Heavy Weapon Dude. Nice to meet you, Zecora."

"Why are you rhyming?" Former Sergeant asked Zecora.

The zebra frowned a bit. "It is how I speak. It does not make me a geek."

"Just saying." Former Sergeant said as he threw his arms in the air. "So, you were saying about civilization?"

Zecora smiled as she pointed to her right. "Ponyville is over there. I am heading there to meet a mare. Do you wish for me to lead you to the town? It will save you a frown."

The three ponies looked at each other before letting out a shrug. They turned to Zecora and nodded with a smile on their faces. Zecora signaled them to follow her as she walked to Ponyville, the three ponies following her.

"By the way, what is that on your back?" Zecora asked Former Human. "You know, the thing that is long and black?"

Former Human let out a small sigh.

"I see da light!" Lost Soul Number Two said as he flew to a source of light. The other two Lost Souls and Pain Elemental flew to Lost Soul Number Two.

To their joy, they found a bright sunlight. Pain Elemental squeezed through the small hole. The Lost Souls followed him, not having trouble squeezing through the hole. They were greeted with the sight of the green plains and nature.

"Fuck yeah!" Lost Soul Number One shouted.

"Unce, unce, unce!" Lost Soul Number Three sang joyfully.

"Thank God we got out of that stupid cave!" Pain Elemental groaned as he sat down and began to rub his aching hooves.

"Allow me master!" Lost Soul Number One said as he flew to Pain Elemental's hooves and began to massage them.

...Only to set Pain Elemental's hooves on fire.

"FUCK!" Pain Elemental yowled as he flew to a nearby river and dunked his hooves in the water.

"Ahhh...yeah." Pain Elemental sighed. "That hits the spot."

The one-eyed pegasus heard some giggling, but it did not come from the Lost Souls. In fact, it sounded like female giggling.

He turned around and saw a gray pegasus with a yellow mane. One thing that stood out the most was her crossed eyes.

"Hi!" The pegasus greeted happily. "I'm Derpy Hooves."

Pain Elemental raised an eyebrow before waving at Derpy. "I'm Pain Elemental. These flying guys are Lost Souls."

"HOLY SHIT!" Lost Soul Number Three yelled as he stared at the river's reflection. "I'M A FUCKING TALKING SKULL ON FIRE!!!"

"Awwww..." Derpy said as she stared at the Lost Souls with a adored smile. "They look sooooo cute!"

"They what?" Pain Elemental said in disbelief.

"The gray one likes us!" Lost Soul Number One said as she flew to Derpy, making a kissing face. "Kissy, kissy, kissy!"

Derpy just giggled. "I would love to, but you're on fire."

"HOLY SHIT!" Lost Soul Number Three yelled as he stared at Lost Soul Number One. "HE'S A FUCKING TALKING SKULL ON FIRE!!!"

Pain Elemental groaned as he put a hoof on his forehead. "Listen, Derpy. I have a problem. I'm lost and I have no idea where I am. Think you can help me out a bit?"

Derpy thought for a moment. "Maybe Princess Twilight would know what to do. I can take you to her."

"Great!" Pain Elemental said as he got up. "Well, come on! Let's go!"l

Derpy smiled as she flew to her left. Pain Elemental nodded at the Lost Souls and began to follow Derpy. The Lost Souls shrugged and followed their master.

"By the way, why do you have one eye?" Derpy asked Pain Elemental.

"This coming from a cross-eyed pegasus..." Pain Elemental mumbled to himself.

"Are we there yet, fellas?" Revenant asked as he leaned against a tree. "Ah'm bored. Ah'm tired."

"Couldn't be more happier for you Revenant." Mancubus mumbled as he stopped to stretch his arms.

"Remember that we don't know where we are, Revenant." Arch-Vile said as he stopped to let out a small yawn. "But I'm sure that we'll come across someth-"

"Ah hear footsteps." Revenant interrupted.

Immediately, Arch-Vile prepared his fire spell by lifting up his arms in the air, Mancubus readied his flamethrower arms, and Revenant stood in position to fire his missiles.

Without warning, Revenant was tackled by an invisible being. Arch-Vile quickly clapped his hooves, creating a fire explosion at the creature, which made a familiar death scream.

"HOLY FUCK!" Revenant shouted as red blood and a piece of brain splattered on his skull. "YA KILLED SPECTRE!!!"

"Thin Guy killed Spectre!" Demon yowled as he appeared out of nowhere, running to the invisible remains of Spectre. "Meanie pants!"

Arch-Vile blinked as Demon cried over Spectre's body. Arachnotron walked up towards Arch-Vile.

"OK, first off, one, hello Arch-Vile. And two, RESURRECT SPECTRE NOW!" Arachnotron shouted at Arch-Vile.

"Alright, alright!" Arch-Vile said as he stood next to the remains of the invisible creature and began his resurrection spell.

The blood and brain piece disappeared from Revenant's skull as Spectre's transparent body was fully revived.

Demon smiled and began to lick Spectre. Arachnotron turned to Revenant.

"Hi Revenant."

"Howdy Arachnotron."

Arachnotron turned to Mancubus and let out a smirk.

"What's up?!" Arachnotron greeted as he trotted towards his friend.

"Oh, not much." Mancubus replied with a sly smile. "Just feeling...dead simple."

"That joke sucks and ya know it, Mancubus." Revenant said as he got up.

"Oh, suck a flesh-filled dick." Mancubus said to Revenant.

"Lose weight, fatass." Revenant retorted with a smile.

"Guys. Now's not the time." Arachnotron said as he stood between the two creatures who were about to start a fistfight. "Right now, we have a problem."

"Other than fact that we not know where we are?" Demon asked with puppy eyes.

"And that we may no see our friends: Green-Hair, Baldie, Fatty, Brownie, Demon, Spectre, Fire Head, Red Head, Knighty, Pink Guy, Archie, Fire Head's Dad, Skeleton, Manny, Thin Guy, Big Spider, Big Demon, Nazi, Little Boy, Giant Face, and Stupid Green Guy?!" Spectre whimpered.

"Spectre." Arch-Vile groaned. "Demon, Archie, Skeleton, Manny, Thin Guy, and you, Spectre, are here, remember?"

"Don't care me Archie." Arachnotron retorted.

"Where the fuck did he get the name Manny..." Mancubus mumbled as he facehooved.

"Either way, me, Demon, and Spectre were heading to a castle we saw not too far away. Maybe we'll find some civilization or something.

"We're coming too." Arch-Vile said as Revenant and Mancubus nodded. "You could use some extra protection and I'll take care of what happens when one of you gets killed."

"Agreed." Arachnotron answered as he, Demon, and Spectre walked to their destination, Mancubus, Revenant, and Arch-Vile walking behind their tail.

Both Celestia and Luna were in the integration room with Baron of Hell and Hell Knight, who were both chained to the wall.

"You two almost killed the ponies of Canterlot." Celestia said as she glared at the two ponies.

Baron rolled his eyes. "Oh sure! Defend the horses who called me a girl!"

"That's not the point, Baron." Hell Knight said as he faced towards his pink friend. "She just wishes that there coulda been a more reasonable alternative."

Celestia and Luna took note of Hell Knight's calm manner and his understanding of this situation.

"So, why did you aid him in his attack?" Luna asked Hell Knight.

Hell Knight shrugged. "He may be annoying as fuck..."

"Fuck you." Baron muttered.

"Language please." Celestia said firmly.

Baron grunted as Hell Knight nodded at Celestia. "But he's tougher than me, and when he's pissed, you better do what he says. Besides, I love destroying things with my fireballs."

Celestia and Luna looked at each other before facing toward the two ponies.

"You two are going to clean up the mess."

Hell Knight let out a small smile. "Fair enoug-"

"NO GODDAMN HORSE HERE CARES THAT I WAS CALLED A GIRL!!!!" Baron roared in fury. "HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF SOME FUCKING HORSE CALLED YOU A...um...Hell Knight, what could she look like?"

"She could look like a reasonable being that is being fair, instead of the pink pony that's next to me that could be a moron. Oh wait. She is a reasonable being that is being fair. And you're a moron."

Luna couldn't help but let out a tiny giggle.

"YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY?!" Baron barked at Luna with a twitching eye. "FUCK YOU! FUCK YOUR SISTER! FUCK YOUR KINGDOM! FUCK YOUR PONY SUBJECTS! FUCK YOUR LAND! FUCK YOUR CASTLE! FUCK YOUR UNICORN HORNS! FUCK YOUR GIANT WINGS! FUCK YOUR-"

Celestia and Luna just stared at the shouting Baron and then at the quiet Hell Knight.

"Is he always like this?" Luna asked, ignoring Baron.

Hell Knight chuckled. "I can tell you stories, Princess Luna."

"Please. Just Luna, if you don't mind." Luna replied with a smile.

Hell Knight let out a friendly smile as Baron continued his rant.

"FUCK THAT HAT STAND! FUCK THAT-"

"Umm..."

Twilight and her friends were all pale-faced. Cacodemon and Imp smiled sheepishly.

"So...you tried to kill a green being, only for that green being to massacre several monsters who are like you?"

"Correct." Imp answered.

"And each of you have a special power. Imp can shoot fireballs out of his hooves and Cacodemon can shoot fireballs from his mouth."

"Yup." Cacodemon answered.

"Wait." Rainbow Dash asked. "If you're pure evil, then why aren't you killing each other or us?"

Imp and Cacodemon looked at each other.

"I think the fact that we were in Hell is what made us evil." Cacodemon answered. "Now that we're in a fucking pony world and we're fucking horses, we don't feel evil."

"Please don't curse." Twilight said.

"I do's what I wants to do." Imp replied with a frown and crossed arms. "But we have no idea what to do now. Our comrades could be dead or somewhere out there or something."

Twilight put a hoof on her cheek. "I suppose I can contact Princess Celestia about this. Spike, take a letter!"

Imp leaned next to Cacodemon. "You think that green motherfucker is in this world?" He whispered.

"No doubt." Cacodemon replied with a frown.

A white unicorn dressed in a Royal Guard uniform stood next to his wife, a pink alicorn princess. Together, they ruled over the Crystal Empire. Recently, they heard that there was something weird that appeared in town. Both the unicorn and princess arrived to see what it was.

They stared at what all the other Crystal ponies are staring at:

A pale skin colt wearing a yellow helmet that had a green and white stripe painted across it, who was hanging from a streetlamp, a noose was tied to his neck. Despite the fact he is being hanged right now, he seemed to be completely alive and healthy. He was observing his surroundings with crossed arms and a firm look on his face. He did not care about all the ponies gawking at him.

The pink alicorn walked carefully towards the small colt.

"Who...are you?" She asked quietly.

The human stared at her dumbfounded.

"I'm Commander Keen. By the way, what are you?"