Pass the dutchie

On this lovely Tuesday afternoon Rarity decided to have lunch with Pinkie pie. She had called up the pink mare and made a deal to meet up in fifteen minutes at a pizza place. Rarity had been buried under so much work that her friends thought they would have to put out a missing ponies report, but it was nice that she finally had the time to get out of her workshop.

On her way there she took a short cut that brought her up to the back of the restaurant. Walking through the parking lot next to the building Rarity was delighted to see Pinkie's electric pink Caprice classic already parked. Rarity assumed that Pinkie was impatiently waiting inside.
When Rarity came around the front she was surprised to see Pinkie was still out front. She had her head in the window of a dark purple Ford Falcon XB with green racing stripes, Spike's car. "Ok Spike I'll have the other twenty for ya later." Pinkie said pulling her head out of the car. She placed a rather sizable plastic bag in the bucket hat she was wearing. "See ya later Spike." She said waving him off.

"Hey Pinkie." Rarity caught the pink one's attention. Spike passed Rarity trying not to make eye contact; Rarity wasn't too fond of the young dragon right now, not after what she caught him doing with Sweetie belle the other night.

"Oh, hey Rarity." Pinkie came bouncing up to her. "Ready to eat?" Pinkie asked. Before Rarity could answer she noticed that Pinkie's eye were completely red. "Are you alright Pinkie, you look tired." Pinkie giggled at her. "Yeah I'm fine," She reassured her "it's just a little wake and bake."
Rarity disapprovingly shook her head placing her hands on her hips. "I swear one day those drugs are going to fry your brain." She said rolling her eyes. "Silly Rarity, how else am I suppose to expand my mind." Pinkie laughed ushering Rarity into the restaurant.

When the two were seated and the waiter came over to take their order pinkie had a miniature freak out and almost fell from her chair. "Sorry about that you surprised her a little." Rarity told the waiter on Pinkie's behalf. He just wrote the whole thing off and went to fill their orders.
"Pinkie what was that all about?" Rarity shot her a stern look. "That guy totally turned into a vampire." She answered back straightening herself up. "Sweet Calestia." She said in an exasperated huff. Pinkie's high managed to mellow out a little as the waiter filled their orders, and spent the rest of their wait time completely blanked out. She didn't return to reality till their food arrived. While Rarity had a small plate of pasta and a bit of salad, Pinkie had an entire large pizza with pepperoni, anchovies, and olives.

"I'll never know how your stomach handles that." Rarity commented as Pinkie dowsed the whole thing in hot sauce and Worcestershire. "The fact that everything taste the same right now helps." She replied biting into a slice.

At the end of their meal Rarity decided to have a cigarette outside before making her way back home. "Now where did I put my lighter?" She rummaged through her purse. "I must have left it back in my work space." "You can use mine in the car." Pinkie ushered her towards the pink classic.

Rarity was reluctantly dragged across the parking lot; the rule of thumb with Pinkie's car was to expect a contact high the moment the door closes. "Hop in, I'll give you a ride home." Pinkie said pushing her into the seat.

Any doubt that the pink mare was a stoner would quickly die once one smelled the inside of her car. The mingling scents of manehatten deft, filly scouts, appaloosa red, and ponyville wowie made for the familiar scent that followed pinkie wherever she goes. Rarity felt she was sitting on something and shifted around to pull it out from under her. She found a small glass pipe. "Oh, I've been looking for that." Pinkie said sliding into the drivers seat and taking the pipe.

Pinkie reached into the armrest and produced a lighter and a zip lock bag of pre-rolled blunts. "Can you go five minutes without a joint?" Rarity asked with a roll of her eyes. "Ha, Joint," Pinkie laughed. "that's such a unicorn thing to call it." She added lighting up then passing the lighter to Rarity. Pinkie sat the blunt in the ash tray just for a moment to get the car rolling out of the parking lot.

While she pulled into the street to the red light Rarity got a call on her phone and sat her cigarette next to Pinkie's blunt to look through her purse. After finding her phone she reached down without looking to retrieve her cigarette.

"Hello," She answered. "oh sweetie belle," She said placing the smoke up to her lips to take a drag. "of course I can come pick you up." She said after taking a deep puff. "Alright I'll be right there." She assured her taking another long drag. "You mind running by the school to pick up Sweetie belle?" She asked not wanting to inconvenience her friend. "No problem." Pinkie said quickly glancing at Rarity but then having to do a double take.

"Rarity, I didn't know you like to get wet." Pinkie said now staring at Rarity. "Why Pinkie whatever do you mean?" Rarity looked to see Pinkie staring at what was in her hand wide eyed. Rarity herself had to take a look at what she was holding; this whole time she had be smoke pinkie's blunt. The whole car smelled like weed so she didn't even notice how it smelled.

"Pinkie pie what did I just smoke?" She asked the pink mare who was looking at her with her mouth open. "Rarity that's what Spike calls Pinkie pie," She informed her. "you know sherm, PCP, angle dust, hairy tail, puffy mane."

Rarity suddenly had a hard time hearing her over how loud her heart was beating. "Sweet Calestia." She said in a low hushed tone. "Sweet Calestia!" She burst out. "Hold on Rarity, calm down now." She had to keep her from freaking out.

"Pinkie I ain't ever smoked none of that stuff before man." Rarity's speech pattern started to change. "You'll be fine just think happy thoughts, keep the trip good."

Rarity smacked her lips together. "Mouth is dry, I'm choking." She said going into panic mode. "I need something to drink, I need something to drink." In her fit of hysterics she grabbed the Styrofoam cup in Pinkie's cup holder. "No Rarity don't drink that!" Pinkie screamed reaching out to take the cup away but was too late. Rarity had drank the whole cup down in one gulp.

"What were you saying Pinkie?" Pinkie just stared at her with the most astonished look Rarity had ever seen. "What's wrong?" Rarity asked. "That was a cup of peyote spiked with LSD." Pinkie stated. Pinkie usually just sipped it to help her mellow out, but she had drank the whole thing once before.

"Rarity listen to me," Pinkie began in a stern yet rather soothing tone. "You're going to have one hell of a trip but don't worry, I'll take care of you." Rarity was breathing hard now. She couldn't feel her body anymore as her sprit left it. She gave her body a wave before floating out of the car.
She floated out of the car and into the sky with the landscape melting and swirling together into a vortex of color. In a split moment she went from flying to falling, our rather slowly floating down, a void passing different colored doors. Her feet touched a tiled floor and she was faced with a long winding hallway with no doors.

"How Avant guard." She thought to herself.

Looking behind herself then forward again she decided it best to try and find the end of the hall. She began walking, the click clack of her shoes echoing off the walls. After three steps she almost tripped down a set of steps.

She looked down to see a set of three steps the same color as the rest of the floor that walked her right into a wall. Suddenly she wasn't in a hallway anymore; now she was on a moving elevator. She heard a ding and turned from the wall to the doors that opened as the elevator stopped.

Light peeked through the opening doors reveling a bright brilliant sun. Rarity stepped out into a meadow in the middle of nowhere. The elevator doors closed and she could find no trace of it.

While wondering where it could have gone she noticed a figure in the distance with a cloud hanging over it and made her way over to it. The closer she got the bigger the cloud got; it got so big it not only obscured the figure but also started to cover the land. She walked right into it and began to cough as she trudged through the thick smoke.

"Hello, are you there?" She called through the haze hoping to get the figure's attention.

"Please, I could use some help." She called again.

Her eye lids instinctively closed from the smoke stinging her eyes. As She felt her way in the dark her head made contact with something solid; another wall in a small closet like room with only one door.

"Now this is just plain ridiculous." Commented Rarity.

She opened the door not sure what to find on the other side. She was greeted to the site of a six armed Calestia puffing on a hookah with a two headed Luna doing the same. She felt something brush past her leg, a pink ball of curly fur that jumped into Calestia's lap and took the form of a giggling cat.

"Most unorthodox." Rarity mused walking forward into a smoke filled den and having a seat on the pillow next to Calestia.

Calestia blew a plum of smoke from her nose and turned to Luna. "How doth the crow spot it's tail upon the crocodile's wary sail?" Calestia asked.

"To bring upon that which is done for the treading of the bedding in which the straw is built." Replied both of Luna's heads in unison.

Calestia then turned to Rarity, "What meanest thou in thane own mind did thy walk upon the waning land in the tattered day stand alight with volition to tread upon the sky?" She asked with a puff of smoke.

"What sort of non-sense is that?" Rarity asked.

"We'll it's quite simple darling." Calestia replied with the voice of Sassy saddles. Calestia picked up the cat and dropped it in Rarity's lap where it turned into a pink paper swan. "Follow the land from where the green grass grows to find how doth the landamire rows."

"I've had quite enough of this." Protested Rarity who ripped the swan to shreds.

Both Calestia and Luna gave disgusted grunts and started taking fast puffs of the hookah. The smoke puffs filled the room becoming a black cloud.

"Not more of this." Cried Rarity. The floor came out from beneath her as she fell once more. "Oh, bother." She huffed.

Rarity landed firmly on her backside in an orange grass garden. Large plastic flowers of red and green loomed high over her head. Next thing she knew she was being pulled along by Twilight and Rainbow dash, who sprouted wings and carried her off into the air. They let go of her and she floated off into space.

All the stars turned pink and reshaped into Pinkie pie's head. "Great trip huh Rarity?" She asked as Rarity drifted pass. The stars began to fall and Rarity drifted down to a couch inside of an open rose.

"Ah, how lovely." She said in a relived sigh. The rose closed up and she drifted off.

Rarity's eyes flickered open and took it the familiar sight of her bedroom. She took a few deep breathes, "Does everything make sense?" She asked herself. Was she back in reality or was she going to trip again?

She sat up, taking in her surroundings and resolving to move. Her feet felt a little numb and her legs shook a little but she was still able to take a few tentative steps forward. Getting out the door and into the hallway was the easy part but the stairs on the other hand proved problematic.
Her legs gave out and she slid halfway down. Grabbing hold of the railing she managed to pull herself the rest of the way down. Once on more level ground she was able to get on her feet and stumble her way into the kitchen.

"Hey Rarity," Pinkie said to her as she staggered through the door. "glad to see you're awake." Rarity plopped herself down in the first chair she saw. "Everything is still hazy." Rarity rubbed her face. "Did you pick up Sweetie belle?" She groggily asked when Pinkie sat a coffee mug in front of her. "Yeah she's with her friends right now."

Pinkie poured her a cup of fresh hot coffee. "Yesterday was something." Rarity commented taking a sip of her coffee. "You mean the day before," Pinkie corrected her. "you've been tripping for two days." "Wow," Rarity said rubbing her head. "that was some heavy stuff."

Pinkie agreed with her knowing it first hand all too well. "Got anymore?" Rarity asked looking into her coffee cup, earning a raised eyebrow from across the table. "What," She looked up at Pinkie. "I didn't say I didn't like it." Pinkie giggled and pulled a blunt from her hair. "Ok, but we're gonna go for something a little more mellow." She lit up and took a slow drag then passed it across, happy to be sharing this with her friend.

"You know Pinkie," Rarity said taking a few short tokes. "I could get use to this whole stoner thing." The two of them laughed and Rarity recounted her bizarre adventure as the smoke carried them off.