Jack in Equestria

Sunlight filtered through leaves. A bird chirped. I was at the edge of a forest, with a village in the distance. Well, nowhere else to go.

Walking toward the village, I saw a small chicken coop outside a quaint cottage. Shouldn't I be really disoriented right now? And shouldn't I also be a soldier or something, for some reason? There weren't enough cliches to make this seem right.

Then I heard the most beautiful singing I ever could have imagined. I stopped in my tracks as it brought a tear to my eye. There, in the distance, was Fluttershy. Carefree, gently flapping her wings as she made the rounds, feeding her animals. The sunlight glistened on her yellow fur, a gentle breeze rustling her long, pink mane, her matching tail happily swaying.

Mai waifu! I couldn't believe this was happening. The setup was so contrived and direct. The work of a fanfic writer, not realistic at all. And worse, a fanfic writer who didn't have the decency to check all the human-in-Equestria boxes. I bet the ponies won't even be freaked out by my hands. They'll probably just jump into bed with me. It was too good to be true.

I walked closer, hiding behind the coop and listening to her voice. She began flying toward the small outbuilding, eyes closed, and landed softly not ten feet away from me. She opened her eyes and addressed the chickens. "How is everybody doing this morning? I hope you're all well-rested."

I walked out from behind the coop and cleared my throat. She looked up at me in alarm, mouth open as if to scream.

"Wait! I'm not going to hurt you." I held out my hand in a non-threatening gesture, but her little legs trembled in fear. "My name is Jack. I'm not from here. This is going to be hard to believe, but I'm from another world. I was brought here by--" I stopped, remembering Discord's instructions. I can't reveal he brought me here. "I was brought here by magical means."

It didn't work. She screamed, and flew into her house. My heart sank in my chest. So much for "too good to be true." After a few quiet moments, the chickens looking at me quizzically, I decided to try again. I strolled up to the cottage door and knocked gently. "Fluttershy, I'm not going to hurt you. Really I just want to be your friend. Think of me as a lost creature who needs your help." Long moments passed before I heard her whimper behind the door. "Fluttershy?"

Well, if she wouldn't believe my words, maybe she could believe my actions. I went back out by the chicken coop, picked up a bag of feed, and began to spread their seeds around. The chickens rushed toward me and began happily pecking away, small downy feathers flying. Other birds and a few squirrels watched me from a safe distance.

Suddenly I felt hot breath behind me, and a deep snorting sound. I turned around to see a bear. A big fucking bear! I fell flat on my ass, nearly shitting myself. Its huge head moved in closer, sniffing at my chest and face, blocking out the morning sun. It smelled like a dog that's been out in the sun. Tentatively, I reached up to scratch behind its ear, and it licked my face with an enormous tongue.

"Well, I guess if Harry and the chickens think you're safe, then it must be okay."

The bear sat back on its haunches, revealing Fluttershy behind him, face pointing down, mane covering her right eye while she looked up at me with the other. She gently scratched at the dirt with a forehoof.

Sitting up myself, I got my first good look at her. In person, she is much more horse-like than she is in the cartoons. Muscles more clearly defined, but still with the same bright coloration. She sat down in place, wings folded at her sides, hoof still toying with a pebble. "Wha--what sort of creature are you?"

"I'm a human. I don't think there are any of my kind in your world."

"Oh," she stopped fidgeting and came up close to me. Her head reached just to my breastbone. Little pony, indeed.

"Well, I think you're kind of cute." Her eyes closed as her face lit up in a smile.

I smiled back. "I think you're really cute!" She blushed and looked away, nervously playing with her mane. Hoping to break the awkward silence, I offered, "I can help you with your chores. That way we can get to know each other."

She smiled at me, tentatively. "That would be lovely."