When your life is based around the wants and expectations of your superiors, you begin to understand that life is an absolute waste of energy and start to blame others for your own misfortunes. After barely graduating high school, I was BOMBARDED by endless questions of 'When are you going to college', 'Have you applied for college' , or listening to enough stories about college to the point that I could have made an entire vocabulary about college.
I've even had to sit through a pointless lecture from my mom about her not even being able to finish college, I often wonder what would have happened if I told her "Well, that's your problem", to see if she would lose her mind because her younger son started developing the free will to figure shit out on his own. Sadly I didn't have the spine to tell her I knew life would throw me in a meat grinder so I simply told her the only sensible words to live by "Respect is earned" and when she demanded where I heard it I played dumb and said I didn't know. Have I mentioned that when I started to drift apart from her (as most teenagers do) she sent me to a shrink? It's almost sad I could see her doing it at the tender age of seven then when I started high school, I just stopped caring about anything that made other peoples life better than the person sitting next to them plus being a depressing outcast gives you a certain perspective in high school.
Fast forward the boring assemblies that insulted everyone's intelligence and rules that treated everyone like they were still in middle school I was able to graduate while saving up on reasonable funds, however a strange event happened that still makes me wonder if I'm high or dreaming. On September 25th 2015, a portal suddenly appeared ripping apart half of L.A. and sending the U.S. into another state of mass panic. Were we being invaded by aliens who were going to sue NASA for using their spaceship designs? Was it another earth were our evil twins dwelled? or perhaps the future United States wanting to warn us about an impending nuclear holocaust? Even my eyes were glued to the TV as a group of "People" walked through the bright doorway, declaring peace and apologizing for the disturbance as it was miscalculation from their scientists. Just when I thought I had a complete understanding of the human race, another race wipes out half of a cities inhabitants an apologized for it.
Though the seven manned group walked on two legs, they weren't exactly human, for starters they had tails, they weren't reptilian but were made of actual hair! And since they didn't have hazmat suits, they each had their own distinct features but I'm no good at describing shit so I'll settle for the crash course. Three had wings and were wearing the type of leather armor you would wear in Skyrim, the other three had horns on their foreheads and wore what seemed to be wearing lab coats but the striking figure of the group was the seventh member who was surrounded by the six but taller, had both wings and a horn but was paler than snow.
On the top of her head was a gold tiara with a diamond shaped amethyst in the center, she also wore a white dress equivalent to a wedding gown that hugged her slender figure and stitched in the center of the dress was a tribal orange sun, my guess she was the big cheese of whatever civilization that made the portal.
When the mass hysteria finally died down, Princess Celestia and her sister Luna were able to come to turns with the United Nations and allow humans to travel to and from Earth and Equestria so long as their criminal offenses were minor since I was a shut in, my record was pretty much nonexistent, sadly once my mom got wind I wouldn’t go to college let alone stay on the same planet as our family we had a falling out and the last thing I ever did before coming to Equestria was throw my old cell phone into a wood chipper.
It was December 22nd, 2016 when I entered the portal, all the new arrivals were herded into cubicles where a domestic agent would interview us, anyone who came to Equestria to live had their records looked over to see if we were worth the extra space sadly that meant that they would choose our jobs and were we lived since the only job I ever had was cleaning the toilets of doctors who never had a solid bowl movement because they ate the shit food we were told was unhealthy and to make matters worse I was selected to live in a city that resembled New York and for the past six years I’ve cleaned strip clubs while living in an apartment with paper thin walls.
“And how does that make you feel compared to when you cleaned clinics?” the shrink asks.
I turn my head from the window viewing the harbor to the scarlet unicorn who sits in front of a brick wall adorned with medical degrees.
“I spent half of my senior year cleaning the toilets of doctors who don’t know the meaning of health food and now I have to clean toilets of people who don’t even aim strait when they puke their guts out what do you think?”
She scribbles into her notebook… maybe I should have mentioned the glory holes.
“I can’t think for you Michael” she says.
“Of course you can’t, if you did I’d be talking to you wearing a straitjacket”
“There is no need for that kind thinking” she complains.
“Then why am I here?!” I shout she doesn’t flinch.
“The judge ordered you to; remember I can say the word and you WILL spend our sessions in a strait jacket but seeing as how relaxed you are when you stare at the harbor, it would be in your best interest to cooperate.”
“I think it’s time I looked for a new job” I sigh looking back out the window.
“You’ve made some progress but I’m afraid we are out of time I’ll see you next week” the shrink says, she walks to the door and opens it.
“Of course we are” I mumble and walk out of the office, down four flights of stairs then into the crowded frigid streets of lower
Manehatten, I reach into my trench coat, and put a cigarette in my mouth.
FLINK! FLINK! FLINK!
“I need to remember to refill this thing.” I grumble putting the lighter back into the right front pocket of my jeans.
“Need a light?” a woman asks holding up a grenade then pressing down on the lever igniting a bright green flame.
“You’re Highness” I mumble sticking the cigarette into the flame then look into the scolding, emerald, serpentine eyes of an onyx skinned bugmare.
“You know how much I hate being reminded of my failures, Mikey” she growls as she puts the grenade into a fur coat a Russian mob wife would wear.
“And you know how much I hate being called ‘Mikey’… plus if you didn’t want to be called ‘You’re Highness’ you should have picked a different stage name Chrys”
I inhale as much smoke into my lungs before she punches me in the gut.
“I hate that name too” she whispers.
“Do you have the money?” I gag as a large bag of gold coins falls at my feet.
“Next time you quit a job, don’t cry to the boss when you do it” Chrysalis scolds before walking off.
“We still meeting up later?” I shout putting the bits into my jacket.
Of course we are her voice echoes in my head… I shrug and walk to the subways when out of the endless drone of car horns, a race engine revs.
“Oi! Human!” someone shouts “How much?”
“I’m no fucking whore!” I shout turning to see gold 1969 Camaro with a she-Griffon at the wheel “Hello, Gilda”
“Dumbass” she growls opening the passenger door.
“Didn’t your parents ever tell you about getting into cars with strangers?” She laughs as I take put the seat belt on and push the car lighter.
“No, they told me about not copying the stuff I saw in video games at school.” I mumble putting two cigarettes in my mouth.
“You know that shit’s bad for you right?” Gilda chuckles.
“And how much pot do you smoke in a day?” I growl “Besides since the doctors here use magic, they can cure cancer as soon as it shows up” the lighter pops up; I light the cigarettes and offer one to Gilda.
“So did you finally accept Chrys’s offer?” Gilda asks taking the cigarette.
“No, she gave me my severance check”
“Hard to believe she owns the joint AND dances in it”
“A moralist? Gilda I never expected-“before I can finish, a talon strikes across my sleeve.
“Don’t think I won’t throw you out of a moving car” She growls.
“At least I’m moving up in the world” I sigh.
“Does that mean you can work for me now?” she asks
“Don’t know, will you let me fix the radio?” I mumble.
“No one touches my golden child” she growls.
After three hours in traffic, we finally reach our apartment complex; it looks like many of the tall twelve floor buildings compacted together likes sardines with chipping paint and corroding stonework complete with an underground garage. We get out of the car and enter the elevator, I press the third floor button and the elevator trembles and fills the outside with a rusty screech. When the rust bucket finally stops I walk to the last door to the right, I put my key in the door when I realize Gilda followed me.
“Aren’t you going to invite me in?” she smirks
Rule one on dealing with unwanted Griffon houseguests: Saying no results in a slow and painful death.
“Sure come in, hang your jacket and wipe your paws” I answer opening the door.
My apartment consists of the necessities of anyone living in a city might need, two bedrooms, one bathroom, and a main room that acts as a doorway to the kitchen complete with a flat screen T.V., an Xbox 360 and PS2 each accompanied with alphabetized shelves of their respected games, the difference between my apartment and others, is the fact that I replaced all the white fluorescent lights with red ones.
“You planning an orgy or something?” Gilda asks raiding the fridge as I take off my sunglasses and sit on the couch.
“Helps me see in the dark” I sigh unlacing my boots and placing them under the coffee table.
“Griffins and cat people can see in the dark dumbass, you can try all you want but the only way a human can see in the dark is with those clunky goggles you give your military. Why is your fridge empty? The only thing in here is an endless supply of rum, leftover pizza, plastic trays of fruit, and they’re all are starting to mold.”
“Well I have been in the pen for awhile.” I mumble as she jumps onto the couch, places her footpaws onto the coffee table takes a swig of rum then hands me the bottle.
“It’s been two years.” Gilda states, the demeanor of a schoolyard bully turning into a concerned older sister.
“Who was counting?” I ask giving the bottle back to Gilda.
“All of us, even that mailmare you live next to” she answers corking the bottle and putting it back into the fridge.
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! I look down at my watch 8:30:21p
“Are you going to-“I look towards Gilda in time to see the door slam shut and the fridge left open.
“Guess we’re walking.” I mumble to myself.
I put my boots back on, place the bits into a hallowed out wall, throw all the food into the trash compactor then close the fridge, walk into the hall and knock on door 3c. The door opens and a grey cross-eyed Pegasus gasps at me.
“Hello, Goldie” I chuckle.
“I hate that name a lot more than the other one.” She growls slamming the door behind her then locking it.
“Alright Ditzy-“I sigh “Let’s hurry before they decide to stick us with the tab”
“Repeat what you just said” Chrysalis whispers, her eyes shrinking under the dim red light.
“You don’t have to take on the form of someone I know to have my love” I say taking her hand.
“BULLSHIT!” she roars.
A flash of emerald light fills the room, then I feel her hand grab me by the throat then shove me onto the bed.
“DO YOU THINK THAT JUST BECAUSE I CAN WALK THE STREETS IN MY TRUE FORM MEANS THAT EVERYONE ELSE IS COMFTORBLE AROUND ME?!” she lowers her muzzle to my ear her hot breath claws its way into my ear. “Do you know what it’s like to have millions kneeling at your throne begging forgiveness for even the most miniscule of crimes then once everything falls around you and everyone you thought loved you abandons you and you have to BEG forgiveness from the very country you tried to invade. Do you think I expected them to forgive me? Would you find it strange that I hoped they would kill me? Well they didn’t kill me; they just let me spend ten years under their observation making sure I didn’t overfeed on their subjects but I think even you’re human psyche can fill in the blanks of the changeling queen turned stripper”
She lets go of my throat, I shove her off me and sit up.
“Are we going to get this over with or do you have any more sob stories?” I sigh.
“Have you ever fucked a woman before?” she scoffs.
“No” I mumble feeling the sting in my ears.
“Alright first lesson” She grabs my hair and shoves my face above her cunt.
“Lick” she growls.
I gingerly scrape the surface of her folds and she shoves me closer.
“Deeper”
My tongue slips into her… the taste and smell of spearmint crawl into my brain. Each lick makes her nails dig into my scalp, and each stroke on her walls make her moan in delight until she lets out a primal scream and her walls clamp down on my tongue sending a torrent of hot, thick, cum down my throat.
“That was… acceptable” she gasps as she lets go of my head.
“You’re welcome” I mumble making my way to the bathroom when Chrysalis grabs my coat.
“And where are you going?” she asks.
“To wash my mouth, you got what you needed so you don’t have to stay any longer and don’t start a ‘merciful queen gesture’ speech you already stepped over line thinking I was one of those shallow bastards.”
“Then perhaps you need a little… relief” she purrs sliding her hand to my collar.
“Woman… I have been telling myself that sex is a stress reliever for years! That falls next to figuring out that monogamy and marriage are
BOTH complete and utter bullshit!”
I try force myself out of her grip but as I do a bright green flash fills the room, burning off my coat and anything else underneath it.
“Jesus” she gasps.
“Doesn’t exist.” I grumble.
“How did this happen?” she asks tracing the scars on my back.
“The drawbacks of dating a masochist and asking her to flog me with a whip made of fish hooks” I turn around.
“When was this?” she asks tracing the long scar on my wrist.
“The day I thought God would forgive me-” I say coldly “-ya see Chrysee, I don’t think it’s strange to think about killing yourself, in fact I think killing yourself is the sanest thing anyone can do to themselves because at least you get to choose how you die instead of it taking you by surprise”
“And these?” she rubs her thumb over pinpricks on the back of my neck.
“Adrenaline… I didn’t sleep for a week once, then they found out I was responsible for stealing from the clinic but the judge thought endangering ‘innocent’ lives was worse."
I turn around; her emerald snake eyes are on the verge of tears.
“Do you want to know the worst feeling in the world is? You may have been the queen of an entire race even when you’re exiled but try being strapped to a wall in a narrow cell in nothing but darkness being alive with no one other than yourself is worse than anything you can experience. Being alone is worse than any hell some fat hypocrite preacher can shove down your throat. I didn’t ‘try’ to kill myself, I succeeded! And do you know what’s on the other side? Nothing… just darkness; that’s the day I decided to move to Equestria as soon as the doctors released me, my phone was being filled with names of random doctors or medication that would have killed me anyways, my family thought they were helping but they succeeded in making me throw my phone into a wood chipper”
Chrysalis blinks… a tear slides down her cheek. I tell myself it’s just another con even as she closes the gap between us and presses her lips on mine her thin forked tongue glides across my teeth and I allow it entry, letting it wrap around my tongue, she wraps her arms around my neck BZZZT!!! Doorbell. I rip her arms off my neck; take a red hoodie out of the closet, Chrysalis rips the hoodie out of my hands while I put on a black tank top and open the door to find Ditzy trembling like she’s about to kill someone.
