The Rift

CHAPTER ELEVEN

PINKIE AND THE BRAIN

"WE NEED TO COME BACK NOW!"

"Tony, calm down!" Steve Jack pleaded with Rainbow Stark "What's wrong?"

Stark takes a few seconds to breathe "Loki escaped" he says

"What?!" Thor shouted

"No, 'Discord' escaped" Spike says "His name is Discord"

"Shut up, Wally Gator" Stark snaps angrily at Spike "This is serious! Loki escaped!"

"How do you know that?" Steve asked him

"Lesbian Dash told me in the limbo" Stark said

"What?" Steve says, confused

"Wait, who's Loki?" Rarity asks

"He's our Discord" Stark answers

"He's my brother!" Thor replies

Rarity and Spike turn to Thor Sparkle

"…or… he used to be…" Thor says, sad

"Rainbow said that he killed Bruce" Stark continues

"That's impossible!" Steve says

"I know, I know" Stark says, exasperated "She doesn't know what happened to Pepper! God, Steve, if anything happened to Pep, I… I…" a single tear falls from his eye

"Nothing happened, Tony" Steve tries to reassure him "She's okay. You need to have faith in that"

"I need to go back! That's what I need to do!" Stark yelled

"STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" everypony in the room turns, surprised, at the basement direction, where Fluttershy's scream came from.

"Uh… what? Where's mommy?" Trixie mumbles, awaken by Fluttershy's scream

"Oh, dear. It's Fluttershy" Rarity says, worried "What could have happened?"

"Let's find out" Steve says, trotting down the stairs "Ms. Fluttershy, ma'am? Are you alright?"

Steve finds Fluttershy in the ground, an expression of fear paralyzed on her face.

"Fluttershy! Oh, my God! I need help here!" Steve yells to the others.

Meanwhile, at Sugar Cube Corner...

"Your cake is ready, Pinkie" Mrs. Cake said, while she and her husband came out of the kitchen holding the cake.

Pinkie, however, didn't turn. She was looking at her reflex on the glass counters, thoughtful.

"Uh, Pinkie?" Mrs. Cake calls her again "Your cake"

Pinkie kept reflecting at her reflection, lost in thoughts.

"I think she didn't hear you, honey" Mr. Cake says

"Pinkie, your…" Mrs. Cake begins to say, but stops, feeling tired all of sudden. Her knees falter, and she falls on the floor.

"Honey!" Mr. Cake says, worried

Pinkie finally notices them "Oh, my. Lady, are you okay?"

"I… I'm feeling a little tired, that's all…" Mrs. Cake said, trying to get up. Mr. Cake and Pinkie help her.

"She's been feeling tired often these last weeks" Mr. Cake says, still worried

Pinkie gives in a thoughtful look "When did you start feeling fatigue?" she asks

"I don't know… last month?" Mrs. Cake says

"I see. I think you should sit down" Pinkie says, pulling a chair. Mrs. Cake sits. Out of nowhere, Pinkie pulls a stethoscope and places it on Mrs. Cake belly.

Pinkie stops, looking at her stethoscope "Where did this come from?" she shakes her head, and places the stethoscope back into Mrs. Cake belly "Have you been feeling nauseous lately?" she asks Mrs. Cake

"Only in the morning" she answers

"I see"

"I didn't know you were a doctor, Pinkie" Mr. Cake says

"I have a minor in biology" Pinkie answered "It's not the same as a full medical education, I know, but it was good enough. All other necessary skills, I learned by practicing while I was on the run"

"On the run?" Mr. Cake asks, shocked "You're a fugitive?"

Pinkie looks at him "Uh… kind of…"

"Oh, my, Pinkie!" Mrs. Cake said "What did you do?"

"Look, I can explain, Ms…" Pinkie pauses "What was your name again?"

Mr. and Mrs. Cake stare at Pinkie, incredulously

"We're the Cakes!" Mr. Cake says, enraged "We gave you food, a roof, a job! And all this time you've been lying to us!"

"Carrot, please" Mrs. Cake pleaded to her husband "I'm sure Pinkie meant no harm"

"But, honey, we've been harboring a fugitive!" Mr. Cake says "We don't even know if her name really is Pinkie!"

"It's not"

"What?!" they turn the heads towards the pink pony

"My name is Bruce" Bruce Pie said

"Spruce?" Mrs. Cake said

"Is there anything true about you?!" Mr. Cake yells

"Carrot, calm down" Mrs. Cake pleaded

"Look, Mr. Cake, I'm sorry" Bruce said "I don't wanna cause trouble for the future parents"

"Wait, what?!"

"Your wife is pregnant, Mr. Cake" Bruce smiled "Congratulations"

Mr. & Mrs. Cake stare at Bruce before looking at each other, tears of joy in their eyes.

"Oh, Carrot, this is wonderful!" Mrs. Cake said

"We've been trying for so long" Mr. Cake says, kissing his wife

Bruce smiles at them. He always wanted to be a father, and since he can't, it's nice to see others fulfill his dream.

That's when it hits him.

"Excuse me, I need to talk with… uh…" what was her name again? "…Rainbow Dash. You know where I can find him… her?"

"She's probably on the library party, dear" Mrs. Cake said "That's where you said you were heading to"

"Oh, the library… alright" Bruce says "Where is the library?"

Mr. and Mrs. Cake stare at Bruce, confused.

"I'm not feeling myself today" Bruce explains

"The library is the big hollow tree in the middle of town" Mr. Cake said

They built a library inside a hollow tree? That's like storing shark oil inside the carcass of a Great White.

"Thanks" Bruce Pie said "I gotta go" and with that, Bruce left the cake store in a hurry.

"Wait, Pinkie! Spruce!" Mr. Cake said "You forgot your cake!"

But Bruce didn't pay attention to him as he didn't pay attention to the yellow filly who was just outside the door, eavesdropping everything.

Pinkie is a fugitive! Applebloom thinks as she watches 'Pinkie' rushing towards the library I need to tell the others

"You know, I should have suspected" Mr. Cake says "'Pinkie' did sound like a made up name"

"I don't care about her real name" Mrs. Cake said with a smile "She'll always be Pinkie to me"

"Well, what's in a name?" Mr. Cake chuckled

"Speaking of which" Mrs. Cake said, caressing her belly "If it's a filly, I want to name her Pumpkin"

Back at the library…

"How many fingers am I holding up?" Stark asks the disoriented Fluttershy

"W-what are fingers?" Fluttershy asks, her eyes rolling all over the place

"You don't have any fingers, Tony!" Steve says, annoyed

Stark shrugs and goes to the next usual 'concussion question' "What's your name?"

"Shutterfly…" Fluttershy answers still dizzy

"She's gonna be alright" Stark says as Rarity, Steve and Spike frown at him

"Can somepony untie me, please?" Trixie asks

"Fuck off, Harry Fraudini" Stark snaps at her "We ain't gonna let you go after what you did to Thor"

"What the hay did I do to him?!" Trixie yells

"What you did to him?" Stark says, angry "You broke his leg after playing squash with his body in the town square!"

"What? No, I didn't. I…" Trixie turns to look at Thor, sitting on his pillow, who looks back at her, angry "I… I…"

"You don't remember?" Steve asks her

"No, I…"

"Oh, come on, Steve" Stark says "She's just trying to save face. It's all she does: try to save face"

"I… I didn't mean to" Trixie turns to Thor Sparkle "I'm sorry"

"You didn't mean to? Oh, yeah. Your screams of joy were totally unintentional" Stark mocked, angry "Next you're gonna say the voices made you do it"

Trixie eyes widen "The voice… THE VOICE!" she shouts "The voice made me do it!"

"Jesus Christ, you're pathetic" Stark says. Trixie sheds a few tears.

"I'm not feeling very well…" Fluttershy moaned

"Tony, we need to take care of Fluttershy" Steve says

"She's fine! We need to find our way back!" Stark barked back "Don't you understand? With Loki free and we stuck here, everyone is in danger!"

"How do you know Loki is free?" Steve asked, annoyed

"I already told you! I…"

"Ahem! Excuse me?"

They turn their heads towards the door, where 'Pinkie' stands.

"Not now, Pinkie" Stark says "I'm sorry but we're in the middle of something important"

"Tony? Is that really you?" Bruce Pie asks

Rainbow Stark looks inquisitively at him.

"It's me, Bruce!" Bruce says

"Bruce?" Stark asked "Bruce! Oh, my God! You're okay!" Stark hugs his pal "But… Rainbow said you were dead… Pepper! Is Pepper okay?"

"Yes, Tony, she's fine. A few bruises, but nothing serious"

"Oh, thank God, Bruce" Stark hugs him even tighter "But… Loki? He…?"

"Escaped?" Bruce completes for him "Unfortunately"

"So… another friend of yours?" Rarity asks

"Oh, right. Bruce, meet the guys" Stark points at Steve Jack "This is Steve as a manlier version of himself" Steve glares at him "The one in the pillow is Thor who went from Norse God to Horse God. Except for the 'God' part. The tied one is Trixie the Traitor" Trixie frowns, her eyes red "The odd couple over here is Rarity and Spike, who live in sin. And the one drooling on the carpet is Fluttershy"

"Is she okay?" Bruce asks, worried

"I'm not feeling very well…" Fluttershy moans again

"She's fine" Stark says "She just caught a rare disease that makes her say 'I'm not feeling very well' over and over again" Steve, Rarity, and Spike frown at him "Hey, where's the cake? You were supposed to bring us cake! If you say the cake was a lie, I'll punch you in the face!"

Bruce ignores him "What happened, Fluttershy?"

"P-Pinkie?" Fluttershy asks Bruce with difficulty

"Almost" Bruce smiles softly at her

"T-the Elements…"

"Elements?" Bruce asks

"Elements of Harmony" Stark says "It's a stupid thing they have here. Apparently, it can cure cancer or something. The only thing it doesn't do is bring us back home!"

"So I've heard. Rainbow told me about them" Bruce turns to Fluttershy "Please, continue"

"The Elements… they were floating…" Fluttershy mumbles

"Floating?" Stark asks

"Light… an orb of light... it…"

"Swallowed you?" Bruce asks. Fluttershy nods.

"Does that mean something to you?" Stark asks Bruce

"It was how I was brought here" Bruce says "Loki opened a rift. It grew, swallowed me, and I woke up here like this"

"Wait, what?" Stark says "But… if what happened to Fluttershy happened to you… then she should have changed bodies with you, not Pinkie! Pinkie wasn't even close to the basement! That… that doesn't make any sense!"

"And what fun is there in making sense?"

"Wait, what?" Stark says, looking at the ceiling

"Oh, no…" Fluttershy whimpers

"Oh, dear" Rarity says

"Oh, now you hear the voice, huh?" Trixie says with scorn

"Oh, my. I'm repeating myself. How shameful" the voice continues "Then again, considering that only two of you were there the first time, is not that bad"

"Where is it coming from?" Bruce asks

"Over here, my little ponies"

They turn their heads towards a portrait on the desk. The portrait had Twilight and Spike smiling to the camera with goatees and glasses drawn on their faces. In between them was…

"Discord!" Rarity yells

"Wait… that's Discord?" Stark laughed "He looks like a kindergartener's imaginary friend! What's so scary about him?"

Discord snaps his fingers. Stark's mouth is stitched shut.

"Mmmf! Mffgh!" Stark panics trying to open the stitches

"Here, let me help you" Bruce says, pulling a pair of scissors out of nowhere, trying not to think where they came from or how he is able to use them without fingers.

"I'm sorry for that" Discord said "But I don't wish to be interrupted right now"

"What do you want?" Steve asks

"The same as always: Have fun!" Discord answers

"At others' expense?" Steve asks

"Is there any other way?" Discord jokingly asks

"Listen, mister" Steve says, serious "I've dealt with men who deemed themselves Gods before. Men who worshipped power, who put themselves above others, who brought misery to everyone in their path. They all fancied themselves so powerful and invincible, but as long as there's a single free spirit in the world, as long as there is someone willing to fight, the forces of tyranny will never prevail!"

"For Christ's sake, Steve" Stark, whose mouth had just been freed by Bruce, said "Stop talking like a Saturday Morning Cartoon" Stark takes a minute to stare at Bruce Pie. He then looks at Rarity and Spike, turns to Discord on the portrait and, finally, back to Steve "Actually, I think we are in a Saturday Morning Cartoon. Go on"

"The forces of tyranny will never blah, blah, blah" Discord mocks "You think I haven't heard that before?"

"I don't know" Steve says "Was it before or after you were defeated and turned into stone?"

For a fraction of a second, Discord's face seems enraged, but soon turns into a cocky smile "Nice one, Mr. Rogers, nice one. Just one thing, though: I only got defeated because of the Elements of Harmony which, get that, aren't working anymore" he then turns to Stark "By the way, I wish to thank you, Tony Stark. If wasn't for your natural knack on creating disharmony and contempt, I wouldn't have been freed"

All eyes turn to Rainbow Stark "Oh, fuck you all! This is as much as your fault as it is mine" Stark protests "Had you all agreed with me, there would be no disharmony!"

"Tony, please, shut up" Bruce pleads, silently

"We don't need the Elements!" Steve proclaimed, defiantly "We only need this kingdom's love for their freedom to fight you!"

Stark puts his hoof down his throat as if simulating vomiting.

"I guess you don't know these ponies like I do" Discord said "Yes, there are some ponies like Twilight and her friends who are willing to put on a little fight. But the majority of them? Spineless little wimps who panic at the first sign of trouble. Ruling them is so easy, it's almost laughable. You will never find enough ponies that are willing to face me. They're all too afraid"

"That may be true" Steve says "But humanity too has suffered moments of fear, weakness, and indecision. Many watched as dictators rose to power, too afraid to do anything to stop them, but all those people needed was for someone to take the first stand, to set an example, to give them hope. And I bet these ponies are no different"

"You bet, huh? Okay, tell you what" Discord said "Since I'm such a good sport, I'll give you 24 hours to rally the ponies of this town before I really start to spread chaos. I won't even interfere. If you all need me, I'll be at Ghastly Gorge. Good luck. You're gonna need it" with that said, Discord disappeared in a small puff of smoke.

"Jesus Christ" Bruce says

"We're doomed" Fluttershy cries

"Don't say that, Fluttershy" Steve says "We won't go out without a fight"

"I don't know, Cap" Bruce says "This guy looks very powerful"

"Bruce is right" Stark says "It looks like he could erase us from reality with just a thought. Luckily, he's either too proud or too stupid to realize that, so we have that in our favor. Exactly how much destruction he caused last time he was free?" he asks Rarity

"He turned this town upside down!" Rarity says "He turned the houses in cardboard cut-outs, he made clouds rain chocolate, and he made me mistake a big rock for a diamond!"

"That's it?" Stark asks "No one died? He just… joked around? And here I thought he was a serious threat…"

"Well, maybe once he makes you act like a duck, you will think it's serious" Rarity replied, angry

"Look, darling" Stark said "I woke up as a Pegasus in a world full of magic Technicolor horses who, just like the inter-dimensional Norwegian deity over there, all conveniently speak English. Even if he turns me into a talking hotdog, he can't make this situation more ridiculous than it already is"

"It is a serious threat, Tony" Steve says "He's trying to deny these ponies their freedom!"

"I know a lot of people who deny ponies their freedom" Stark quipped "They're called petting zoo keepers"

"Hello?" Trixie interrupted "I'm still tied!"

"So?" Stark asks

"So? So let me out!" Trixie protests "You all saw it was Discord's fault, not mine!"

"Sure it was" Stark said, sarcastically

"Actually, even though Trixie and we may have our differences" Rarity says "I believe she's innocent here. Discord does have the power to turn ponies against each other"

"Just like Loki did with Barton" Steve says "Let her go, Tony"

"Can't she untie herself?" Stark asked with a smirk "What kind of lousy magician can't untie herself?"

Enraged, Trixie concentrates hard until her magic forces the cork out of her horn, sending it flying towards Rainbow Stark's eye.

"Ouch!" Stark cries in pain "You almost shot my eye out!"

Without a second to lose, Trixie magically unties herself and then, ties Stark with the rope, turning him upside down and knocking his head against the floor, repeatedly.

"Ouch! Ouch! Quit it!" Stark pleads

"Why don't you untie yourself, huh?" Trixie asks

"Trixie! Stop it!" Steve says

"Why? He deserves it!"

"He's defenseless!" Steve says, serious "I forgave your attack against Thor because you were under Discord's control, but tormenting Tony like that makes you nothing but a bully!"

"Oh? And you don't like bullies?" Trixie asks with a raised eyebrow

"No, ma'am" Steve says, slightly irritated "I do not"

"Then, why are you friends with one?"

Surprised, Steve is left speechless by Trixie's question.

"Yeah. I thought so" Trixie says, releasing Stark from her magic "You can keep him. I'm sick of all of you. You can all rot as far as I'm concerned" she then leaves the library, without looking back.

"Trixie, wait…" Rarity said, but Trixie was already gone

"Awkward…" Bruce mumbles

"We can't worry about her, right now" Steve finally says "We have 24 hours until we face Discord"

"You can count on me to assist you in battle, my friends" Thor proclaims

"Thor, your leg is broken" Rainbow Stark pointed out

"It is?" Bruce asks, shocked

"Why did you think he was on the pillow?" Stark asks Bruce

"Why isn't he at the hospital?" Bruce asks

"There are no hospitals here" Stark said

"Yes, there is" Spike says

"Oh" Stark says "There is. Well, then, take him to the hospital, Yoshi"

"I don't need—" Thor begins to protest

"Thor" Bruce says "It's better"

"You heard it" Stark says "Doctor's orders"

"Take Fluttershy too" Steve says

"I'm not sure that's a good idea, Steve" Stark says

"And why is that?" Steve asks with a raised eyebrow

"Thor has a broken leg. A normal injury. Easy to treat" Stark explains "Fluttershy was engulfed by the magic elements of body-swapping and other fucked up things. I doubt the hospital will know what to do with her"

"So, we're just gonna let her here in pain?"

"She's not in pain" Stark says "She's just dizzy. She just needs to rest, that's all"

"I'd like to rest now then…" Fluttershy says, weak "If you don't mind, that is…"

"Here, I'll help you to go to bed" Steve says, helping her climb the stairs

"Come, Thor" Spike says "The hospital is not far from here"

"I'll help you, dear" Rarity says as the three leave the library

"Alone at last" Stark jokingly says to Bruce

Bruce chuckles.

"You know, I'm kinda bummed that Giggles got replaced by you. I'm gonna miss her" Stark says "But then again, you're my best buddy and, like the saying goes: Bronies before ponies"

"Brony is not a word" Bruce says

"Yes, it is" Stark says "It's 'Bruce' plus 'Tony'. It's our couple name"

"We're not a couple, Tony"

"We're not?" Stark says, pretending to be hurt "After all those special moments we had? Am I just a toy to you?"

"Tony, stop it" Bruce says, chuckling "You don't wanna make me an—" he stops mid-sentence and turns to Stark "Tony, make me angry"

"What?"

"Make me angry!" Bruce says "Punch me in the face! Annoy me!"

"Are you feeling okay?"

"PUNCH ME!" Bruce yells

Stark complies, punching Bruce hard in the face "A-are you okay? Was it too hard?"

Bruce snaps at Stark, a look of fury on his face. The look soon turns to joy.

"I can get angry" he says, smiling

"What?"

"I can get angry!" Bruce starts to bounce around the room, much like Pinkie used to do "Oh, God, it's been so long since I could get angry. It feels wonderful!"

Stark smiles "Yeah, you're free"

"I am, ain't I?" Bruce smiles back "I'm no longer the Hulk!" suddenly, Bruce shows an expression of dread "Oh, no"

"What is it?"

"Whoever is in my body now is the Hulk!" Bruce says, panic in his voice "I've spent years learning how to keep the Hulk in check! Whoever is in my body doesn't know how to control it! If she gets angry…"

Stark laughs "Pinkie getting angry? I don't think you should be worried about…"

"…or too excited" Bruce completes the thought

"Oh" Stark says "We're fucked"

Upstairs, Steve Jack had put Fluttershy in the bed.

"There you go" Steve says

"Thank you" Fluttershy says, weak "Wait, where you're going?"

Steve, who was just about to climb down the stairs, turned "I was about to meet the others. Why?"

"I… I don't want to be alone…"

"Want me to tell you a story?" Steve asks

"I'm not a baby" Fluttershy says, slightly annoyed

"I know you're not" Steve says "Is just something to help you sleep. I'm gonna tell you one of my favorite stories. It's about a lion who was considered cowardly, but together with his friends: Dorothy, Toto, the Scarecrow and the Tin Woodsman, he bravely defeated the Wicked Witch and they all became heroes of the Wonderful World of Oz"

"I… I think I'm gonna like this story…"

Back downstairs…

"We need to go back!" Bruce says

"I know that!" Stark says "But to do that we need to force the Elements of Stubbornness to cooperate!"

"And where are these elements?" Bruce asks

"Down"

In the basement, Bruce Pie and Rainbow Stark approach the inert elements on the table.

"These?" Bruce asks

"Yeah, I know" Stark says "Just a bunch of jewelry. It's stupid, really"

"They're glowing" Bruce says, pointing to the no longer inert gems

"What?"

"And levitating" Bruce continues "in circles…"

"Oh" Stark says, watching the phenomenon "That's new…"

Suddenly, the gems fly up in the air, spinning faster and emitting a bright light.

"Oh, shit!" Stark says, covering his eyes "It's gonna open another portal!"

Stark waits. But nothing happens. Slowly, he opens his eyes. In the middle of the room, Bruce Pie stood, holding a glass jar with the spinning Elements safely trapped inside.

"What did you do?" Stark asks him

"I don't know" Bruce answers "I kind of… acted on instinct…"

"Good instinct" Stark says, examining the jar "Trapped in a jar… like Loki! Glass trumps magic! It's so obvious now! Where did you find the jar?"

"I don't know…" Bruce says "I've been… taking stuff out of thin air lately…"

"Really?"

"Really"

"Holy shit!" Stark says "You got Pinkie's 'Fuck you, Universe, I do what I want' powers!"

"Pinkie's what?"

"Her reality warping powers!" Stark says "She can pull cannons out of her ass and other impossible shit!"

"How does she do that?" Bruce asks

"I have a theory" Stark explains "She's actually the Avatar of the Almighty God of Partying, sent to Equestria on a holy mission to purify all ponies and dance for their sins"

Bruce stares at him "That's the weirdest thing I ever heard you say"

"You're a pink pony" Stark replies

"Good point" Bruce replies "We need to study these things, see why they're acting like this"

"I'm pretty sure it has something to do with that Island of Dr. Moreau's reject" Stark says

"Obviously" Bruce says "But we need to understand how these things work, if we hope to go back home"

"Good luck with that" Stark says "There's an entire library about magic above our heads. I've read through it. But it's magic, Bruce, not science. Nothing we can do"

"I have a theory" Bruce says "By watching that blue unicorn levitating you, I gathered that magic seems to work by emanating some kind of radiation. Luckily for us, I have a PhD on that" he finishes with a proud smirk

"Bruce, have I ever said you're smarter than me?" Stark asks

"Wow, Tony, that… that means a lot coming from you" Bruce replies

"Because I'm so smart?" Stark asked

"No" Bruce replies with a smirk "Because you're so self-centered and arrogant that I never expected you to deem yourself inferior to anyone about anything"

"Ouch" Stark says. After a few seconds, both friends start to laugh.

"No, seriously, I mean it" Stark says after they stop laughing "You're so focused on your 'Hulk problem' that you don't realize how brilliant you really are"

"Thanks, Tony" Bruce says

15 minutes later…

"We're back" Rarity says, entering the library with Spike

They see Bruce Pie reading Twilight's magic books while examining the Elements with a microscope that Stark disassembled and then put back together again so it would be easier to use it against the jar.

Rainbow Stark is in another table, tinkering with the computer parts he took from Twilight's computers in the basement.

"What are you two doing?" Rarity asks

"I…" Bruce starts before being interrupted by Stark

"My armor is useless without a CPU and since Jarvis is not here" Stark says "I'm using this obsolete hardware to put together a Desperately Assembled System with Holographic Interface for Navigation Guidance. Dashing, for short"

"O… kay?" Rarity says "And you?"

"He's meshing magic and science together" Stark answers

"Technically, since it can be studied, observed and replicated" Bruce says "Magic IS a science"

"Magic is just science we don't understand yet, huh?" Stark laughs

"Actually" Bruce says, taking his eyes out of the microscope, a huge smile growing on his face "Magic is just science I understand now!"

"Come again?" Stark says, surprised

"Magic in this universe seem to work like the Tesseract back home" Bruce explains

"The zero point extraction theory?" Stark asks

"Exactly" Bruce answers

"I'm sorry, the zero what?" Rarity asks

"Zero point extraction theory" Bruce replies "It states that, theoretically, it could be possible to draw energy from the vacuum and convert it into a usable form"

"It's how we believed our little one-color Rubik's cube did its thing" Stark complements "Imagine the whole universe is full of untapped energy, energy that you can't tap because it is, quite literally, on nothingness. Now, imagine you could harvest that energy and—"

"They don't need to imagine" Bruce says "They do it all the time. The unicorns' horns work as a natural conduit for zero point energy extraction while the Elements work as amplifiers. It's how 'magic' works! It converts zero point energy into, in its most basic uses, concussive blasts and tractor beams. With the right training and/or apparatus, you could use it to transfigure matter and even tear the fabric of reality itself!"

"That's simply brilliant, Bruce" Stark congratulated his friend "You solved it!"

"Thanks"

"How come you couldn't solve it, Stark?" Rarity teased with a cocky smirk "I thought you were the genius…"

"We all have our fields of expertise, honey" Stark replies "I'm the machines guy. Bruce is the radiation guy. It's just like you and Twilight. You're both unicorns that can do magic, but you two don't excel at the same things with it. Twilight casts powerful spells, breaks the laws of physics, teleports, and, like Bruce said, tears the fabric of reality itself. And you… well, you sew"

Rarity shoots him a death glare.

"Still, knowing how this works is not enough" Bruce say "To go back home, we need to find a way to harness and control it"

"Control what? Magic?" Steve asked, climbing down the stairs

"Oh, hey, Steve" Stark said "Didn't know you were still here"

"Fluttershy has just fallen asleep" he then turns to Rarity "Speaking of which, how's Thor?"

"He just needs to rest for a few days. Nurse Redheart says he's lucky that it wasn't anything more serious" Rarity says "Though it took quite a while to discourage her from interning 'Twilight' in the psychiatric ward"

"Right" Steve then turns to Stark "And what are you doing, Tony?"

"I…"

"He's creating a new Jarvis to complement the armor that he hasn't built yet" Bruce answers for him

"How long will it take?" Steve asks

"Well, I need to recreate a complex artificial intelligence who answers to voice and thought commands, that can maintain my suit, and navigate it through an environment that is complete alien to me and, therefore, unmapped. All that using incredibly obsolete technology" Stark says "So, about 20 more minutes"

"You do that" Steve says, marching towards the front door "I need to make the ponies of this town stand up against Discord"

"This isn't gonna work…" Stark says under his breath as Steve leaves the library

In the middle of the town's square, Steve Jack watches the ponies, waiting for the perfect time to make his announcement.

"May I have a minute of your attention, please?" Steve declares. Some ponies stop their business to pay attention to Steve.

"Thank you" Steve continues "I must inform you that Discord has been freed again and…"

"DISCORD IS FREE!" a random pony screams and the entire town explodes in panic

"Wait! If we just stick together…" Steve tries to say but nopony is listening

"WHO'S DISCORD?!" a panicking pony asks

"I DON'T KNOW!" another mare screams nearby "BUT I'M SCARED!"

"People! People! I mean ponies… Please, calm down" Steve pleads "Discord is the creature who tormented this town with complete chaos not long ago, but if…"

"OH, NO!"

"HE'S FREE!"

"CHAOS AND MISERY WAITS EVERY ONE OF US!"

"No! We can fight him if we just…" but everypony was screaming unintelligibly

"Oh, Lyra" the pony named Bonbon whines "What we're gonna do?"

"We must go to my closet and hide" the cyan pony named Lyra answered her friend

"Your closet?" Bonbon asks. Lyra nods. Bonbon understands "Oh, right. We must go to your closet… to hide… because that's what we're gonna do there. Hide"

Lyra and Bonbon scan their surroundings to make sure nopony is looking and then rush to Lyra's closet. To hide.

"Hiding won't do you any good!" Steve protests

"HE'S RIGHT!" a pony screams "RUN FOR THE HILLS!"

Everypony starts running.

"That's no use! He can catch up to you!" Steve shouts "If you start running, he will never let you stop!"

"LET'S DIG A HOLE AND JUMP IN IT!"

"Seriously? WE NEED TO FIGHT!" Steve screams

But everypony already ran to their houses, locked their doors, closed their windows and drapes, and Steve could swear he heard the sound of a piano being pushed to block a door.

Steve is left in the deserted square, all alone.

"GODDAMNIT!" Steve shouts, then looks at the heavens "Sorry for taking your name in vain"

"So, tell me cap, where are our troops?" Stark asks Steve who has just returned to the library

Steve just stares at him.

Stark sighs "I knew it wouldn't work. You ain't gonna inspire these ponies to do shit. You're not Captain America here, Steve"

"Wait, you're a captain? A real captain?" Rarity asks Steve

"Uh… yeah"

"Oh, dear Celestia! This is wonderful!" Rarity beams "I thought Stark was just joking but… A real captain! I always wanted to meet a captain!"

"You get all moisty near princes AND captains?" Stark said "My gold-digger senses are tingling"

"Tony…" Bruce gives a look of disapproval

"Wait, Captain America?" Spike asks "I thought your name was Steve"

"America is the name of our homeland" Stark explains "United States of America. We have 51 states. The biggest one is called Canada"

"Canada is part of the United States now?" Steve asks him

"Tony!" Bruce says disapprovingly "No, Steve. Canada is not part of the US. Tony is joking"

"Oh, right" Steve says, frowning "So we're still 48 states"

"Uh, no" Bruce says "Hawaii and Alaska both became states in 1959"

"Anyways" Stark continues "The government decided to name Steve Captain America because he's the perfect embodiment of our nation"

Steve smiles proudly

"He's as old as Uncle Sam and as boring as Baseball" Stark concludes

"BASEBALL IS NOT BORING!" Steve snapped at him

"Yes, it is" Stark said "And, as I was saying, to fight Hitler and his idea of a nationalist Aryan Race, the government dressed a blue-eyed, blonde Übermensch in the American flag. An inspiration to us all"

"So, they dressed him in your kingdom's flag?" Rarity asks "To inspire ponies?"

"We're not from a kingdom and we're not ponies, but yeah" Stark says

"Idea!" Rarity sings "Steve, darling, would you give me the honor to confect a captain his uniform?"

"Uh, sure, but…" Steve says "I'm not sure we have time to take measurements…"

"Oh, darling" Rarity dismissed it "Don't worry about that. I know Applejack's measures by heart. Just stop by at my place later to see if you like it"

"We have a problem" Bruce says "I think I know a way to neutralize the swapping effects of the Elements and harness the power within the gems, but I need tools… and open space. Lots of open space"

"I know where we can find both" Stark turns to Spike "Which way is Old MacDonald's Farm?"

"What?" Spike asks "You mean Sweet Apple Acres?"

"Whatever" Stark replied

"You follow that road" Spike pointed "You can't miss it"

"Thanks, Shorty" Stark says "C'mon, Steve, I need you to draw those big chunks of metal, plus mine and Bruce's equipment, to the ranch"

"Why me?" Steve asks

"You're stronger" Stark says "Also, the farm belongs to 'your' family. And we need to talk to them, and it's better if 'Applejack' is there with us"

"Fine" Steve sighs, and starts to push the chunks of metal to the exit "Can you take care of Fluttershy?" he asks Spike

"You can count on me, Captain" Spike salutes. Steve smiles and salutes back.

"Remember to stop by later, darling" Rarity says and goes her way to design a uniform worthy of an Equestrian Captain.

A few minutes later, Big Macintosh was busy plowing the field, when he sees 'his sister', 'Rainbow Dash', and 'Pinkie Pie' arriving on the horizon, drawing a cart full of metal and equipments.

"Hey, Happy Meal" Rainbow Stark addresses him "We need to talk to you for a moment"

"What did you call me?" Big Mac asks him, confused and slightly irritated

"Happy Meal" Stark says "That's your name, right?"

"Enope!" Big Mac said, angry "It's Big Mac—"

"Same thing" Stark interrupts him. Steve shoots him a dirty look

"I'm sorry for my friend's behavior, Big Mac" Steve addresses him "But we need to use your property to build something that may…"

"Oh, now ya need us, Applejack?" Big Mac cuts him off

"I'm sorry?" Steve says

"We were dead worried about you yesterday" Big Mac reprimands him "Look, you may have your private life, and I respect that, even if I don't approve, but you should have warned us if ya were to stay all night out. You don't have the right to…"

"Oh, fuck!" Stark says, facehoofing "I lied, okay? She wasn't having sex! I just wanted you to leave the library!"

"What?!" Big Mac says, surprised "Why? Why did you lie? Why did she stay in the library all night?"

"We were trying to solve something, we're still trying, as a matter of fact, and explaining everything to you would waste precious time. Just like now" Stark says

"Solve what?" Big Mac asks "Is there something wrong with Applejack?"

"Well… yeah" Stark replies "Kind of"

"What's wrong with her?" Big Mac asks, worried

"Look, it's not easy to explain, ok?" Stark tells him "She… uh… there's someone else inside her body"

"What…" Big Mac says, before turning shocked to Steve "You're pregnant?!"

"What? No" Steve says

"Yes" Stark quips "And you're the father"

"WHAT?!"

"STARK!" Steve shouts at him

"Tony!" Bruce reprimands him "He's Applejack's brother!"

"Like hillbillies never committed incest…"

"Tony! Shut the hell up!" Steve snapped at him

"W-what's going on?!" Big Mac asks, confused

"I'm not pregnant" Steve says "And I'm not Applejack"

"WHAT?!" Big Mac shouts, getting more confused by the second "What do you mean you're not Applejack?!"

"I'm sorry, but I'm not really your sister, Big Mac"

"She's App-El, the Last Pony of Krypton" Stark quips

"Stark! Why do you keep making Superman references?" Steve asks him

"You know Superman?" Stark asks

"Of course, I used to read all his comic books"

"Nerd!"

"You're not my sister?" Big Mac asks, tears in his eyes "What's Krypton? How come I didn't know? We used to play together... My sister... just a lie?"

"None of us are who they look" Bruce says "My name is Bruce, Applejack here is actually Steve, and…"

"I'm Spirit, Stallion of the Cimarron" Stark says with a smirk

"…that's Tony" Bruce concludes "We're not from here. We ended up trading bodies with your sister and her friends. They are now in our world and in our bodies, and the only way we can prevent it from happening to anypony else is if you would spare us the barn and a little space of land for us to build our machines"

Big Mac just stares blankly at them.

"…and that's why we didn't waste time explaining to you" Stark says

"Wait, you're serious?" Big Mac asks

"Dead serious" Steve Jack says

"I… uh… this is a little too much…" Big Mac says "So… Applejack! She's okay? She's okay, right?"

"For the time being, yes" Bruce Pies affirms "But until we go back to our respective worlds, there's no way we can guarantee her safety. We trying to do everything we can to revert the effect, but we can't do it without your help"

"I'd do anything I can to help" Big Mac swore "Just bring my sister back"

"Great!" Bruce smiles "First, if you could just draw that cart of metal to the barn, so Tony could start building his suit..."

"Yes, yes" Big Mac says, strapping himself to the cart "What else?"

"Just point me to a good, big, open piece of land where I can build my machine and we're all set"

While Big Mac and Bruce were talking, Steve turns to Stark.

"You know…" he starts

"What?" Stark says

Steve pauses and turns away "Nothing"

"What?" Stark insists

"Nothing" Steve says again, frowning

"Was it something I said?" Stark asks

Steve glances at him.

"What was it?"

"It's nothing"

"Fine!" Stark gives up

"Big Mac is taking your stuff to the barn, Tony" Bruce approaches them "I will set my stuff there on the… is something wrong?" he says, noticing how upset they both look

"It's nothing" Steve says

"Steve is on his period" Stark said

"See? That's exactly the problem!" Steve snaps at Stark "You're unable to take anything serious!"

"We're in a word of talking dragons and unicorns!" Stark replies "How can you take any of this seriously?"

"You said that explaining the situation to Big Mac was a waste of time, and yet you waste our time interrupting our explanations to make some stupid joke that we in turn have to explain to him!" Steve was almost shouting "And could you please take your mind of the gutter and stop with the sex jokes? He was her brother, for Christ's sake!"

"I'm so fucking sorry for having a sense of humor!" Stark shouted "I didn't mean to hurt yours and these ponies' delicate little girly feelings!"

"Tony!" Bruce reprimanded

"Trixie was right" Steve says with scorn "You're nothing but a bully"

"Oh, so that's the problem!" Stark says "The great Captain Hypocrisy is friends with a bully! Oh, no! His precious image is tainted forever! If it makes you feel better, Cap, we're not friends! We're barely even coworkers"

Steve opens his mouth to talk but closes it "You know what, Stark?" he finally says "It does make me feel better"

"Steve, look, Tony didn't mean to…" Bruce starts to say

"No, Bruce, I did mean to" Stark says, angry "I'm tired of Gramps here with his tired 'Oh, things were so much better in the 40's than they are now. Kids today have no respect. We had honor back then. And also Nazis and cholera epidemics' You think you're so fucking special. That you're the paragon of virtue while I'm some kind of shit that's stuck in your pixie boots. Tell you what, Rogers, I don't care how many times you punched Hitler in your little stupid USO show. You didn't earn that power. It was given to you. So, stop with your Knight in Shining Armor crap and get off your high horse!"

"Tony" Steve says, with clenched teeth "Put on a helmet"

"What?" Stark asks before receiving a powerful blow from Steve right in the face

"I warned you. Like you asked me to" Steve says, and turns to Bruce "Find a way to revert the swapping process fast, Banner. I have to go to Rarity's to check up on the uniform"

"Yeah, go play dress up with your unicorn girlfriend!" Stark yells, holding his blackened eye, as Steve goes his way without even looking back. Stark then turns to Bruce Pie "Can you believe this guy?"

Bruce just stares at him.

"What?"

Bruce sighs, shaking his head in disappointment, and turning his back to Rainbow Stark

"Oh, c'mon!" Stark says "Et tu, Bruce?"

But Bruce was no longer there.

Stark sighs.

Congratulations, Stark!

You did it again!

You got the last word!

Totally worth it, huh?

Sighing again, Stark did what he always does when he feels overwhelmed with regret, self-hatred, and any other emotional burdens: He bottled it up and went to work.

Up in the clouds, invisible to all, Discord laughed with delight.

Humans and ponies. All the same. How easy it is to ruin friendships. They're so pathetically fragile. How can they not see that?

Now, Discord knows he said he wouldn't interfere, and he didn't! That was all Stark's doing. But he shouldn't be spying on them either. It's not fair. Like he ever cared about fair. But, he will leave them alone now. They won't be able to achieve anything substantial in 22 hours anyway.

But, first… maybe a little tiny bit of interference…

A few miles from there, a large figure dashes through the clouds. Its speed and acrobatics, a sight to behold. But nopony was seeing her. She is alone.

She's been alone for quite some time, now.

She lands on a cloud, staring sadly at the horizon. She looks at the ground. How many bones would she break if she falls? Sometimes this kind of thoughts occurs to her. She doesn't really know why. Would she be able to fly again? Would she be able to walk? There would be nopony around to help her, to see, to care…

Who would cry for the lonely griffon?

"You are Gilda, right?"

Gilda stops her musings to scan her surroundings "Who said that? Who's there?"

The cloud in front of her begins to take the shape of a small white Pegasus with yellow-red eyes and a little fang comming from under his lip.

"Who are you?" Gilda asks the mysterious apparition.

"Who am I? Oh, I'm nopony!" the mysterious Pegasus said "But you! You are somepony! You are Gilda, the wonder of the skies, aren't you?"

"Well, I don't like to brag…" Gilda said, ready to brag "So, you heard of me, huh?"

"But of course!" he answers "Every Pegasi worth their wings have heard of the amazing flying friends Gilda and Rainbow Dash!"

Gilda's confident smile vanishes from her face "Rainbow Dash and I aren't friends anymore…"

"Oh, that's right" the Pegasus says "Such a shame when a wonderful friendship like that falls apart" The Pegasus smiles, mockingly, but Gilda doesn't notice.

"Yeah, well, it doesn't matter" Gilda feigned indifference "Dash has her own new friends to play with…"

"What a very poor choice of friends" the Pegasus continues "She shouldn't have chosen them over you"

"Yeah, I know, but what can I…"

"Especially now that they have betrayed her" the Pegasus concludes

"What?!" Gilda asks him, surprised

"Oh, you didn't know?" the Pegasus asks, maliciously "The ponies of Ponyville exiled Rainbow Dash off this dimension, conjuring somepony else to occupy her vacant body"

"What?!" Gilda was shocked "But that's so… so evil!"

"I know!" the Pegasus smiled "I guess the ponies knew you would interfere with their sordid plans and save Rainbow Dash. That's why they turned her against you!"

Gilda pauses to think and then turns angry at the Pegasus "I don't believe it"

"I'm sorry?" the Pegasus asks, confused

"Dash's new friends are a bunch of Lame-Os but they're not evil" Gilda said "I can't see any of them being that cruel, let alone having the guts to do it. Sorry, but I don't believe it"

"Look into my eyes!" the Pegasus stared at Gilda's eyes as she fell into a trance "And you'll know it to be true"

Back at the Sweet Apple Acres, Bruce was building his 'Containment Field' to hold and study the Elements of Harmony with tools and materials that were given to him by Big Mac, always taking a moment to look at the jar which is working as a provisory 'Containment Field'.

Bruce assembles the pipes that will lead the cables to his generator. He soon finds one of the pipes to be a little too big…

"I need to find a shorter pipe" Bruce muses to himself "Or, maybe, I should just cut it. But where is…" he stops himself once he sees three young fillies in the distance "Maybe they know"

"I'm tellin' ya, girls" Applebloom says to her friends "Pinkie is a fugitive!"

"No way!" Scootaloo replies, skeptic

"I can't believe it" Sweetie Belle says

"I'm tellin' ya" Applebloom repeats "I've seen it with my own eyes! I mean, I heard it with my own ears! She confessed everything!"

"But this is Pinkie we're talking about!" Sweetie Belle said "What could she have done to become a fugitive?"

"I don't know!" Applebloom said "Maybe she ate the whole food supply of the place she used to work before and never paid for it. Y'all know how she is"

"And she would become a fugitive just because of that?" Scootaloo asked with a raised eyebrow

"Maybe she's saving her salary at the Sugar Cube Corner to pay her debt" Applebloom says

"Oh, oh" Sweetie Belle raised her hoof "Or maybe, she's a world-famous jewelry thief who stole the crowns of many queens and princesses!"

"Oh, please" Scootaloo rolls her eyes

"Or maybe she's a spy!" Applebloom said, becoming clearly excited with all the possibilities "Wanted for all the important secrets she stole!"

"Yeah, and maybe she kills ponies and eats them" Scootaloo said

The two stare at Scootaloo in horror "Ew! That's fucking disgusting, Scootaloo!" Applebloom said

"Yeah, that's ridiculous" Sweetie Belle said "Pinkie Pie would never do that"

"It makes just as much sense as what you girls were saying" Scootaloo protests

"And how would she eat anypony anyway?" Sweetie Belle continues "Ponies are too big to be eaten"

"She would cut them up, of course!" Scootaloo says, and then puts on a creepy smile "She would cut them in little slices and serve them for other ponies to eat in the form of cupcakes! Nopony would ever know they're actually eating their friends, family, and neighbors. Mwahahaha!"

"Scootaloo, stop it!" Applebloom said "Ya are scarin' Sweetie Belle!"

"I-I'm not s-scared" Sweetie Belle stuttered "I still say that's fucking ridiculous! Ponies can't be simply cut with knives. We have bones. Hard bones. How could she cut through that, huh?"

"Well…" Scootaloo starts

"Hi, little ones"

The three friends turn their heads to see Bruce Pie smiling at them

"Do you girls know, by any chance, where can I find a hacksaw?" he asks them

The fillies' eyes widen as they scream "AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

Bruce cowers back, surprised "Wait, what's wrong? Was it something I said?" but the Crusaders were already running away.

"Please, don't eat us!" Scootaloo screams as she runs "Eat Diamond Tiara! She's tastier!"

"Eat you? I just need to saw off a pipe! What did you…?" but the fillies had already vanished in the horizon

"Oh, great" he sighs "Now, where will I ever find a hacksaw?" he scratches the back of his neck and then looks at his other hoof which is holding a hacksaw

"What the…? Oh, right. Pinkie's reality bending powers. I need to learn how to control this…" and so he went back to work

Back at the library...

Spike was busy, putting all the books back on the shelves They take it out and never put it back. Never. It's always the dragon who has to put it all back. Every single one of them. Maybe Stark is right. Maybe I'm nothing but a sla—

"I'm sorry, am I interrupting something?"

Spike turns to look and sees Fluttershy smiling coyly at him.

"Oh, hi Fluttershy" Spike greets her, climbing down the ladder "Didn't know you were awake. Are you feeling alright?"

"I'm much better, thank you" Fluttershy smiled sweetly

Spike blushes. Weird. He never felt like that with Fluttershy before "So… uh… could you help me with these books?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I would love to" Fluttershy said, smiling unsure "But I was wondering if you could tell me where the others are?"

"Oh, right" Spike said, a little disappointed for not receiving any help "They're at Sweet Apple Acres"

Fluttershy smiles awkwardly "Could you… could you point me the way?"

"Uh?" Spike looks at her, confused "You don't know?"

"It's my head…" Fluttershy says, holding her head in her hoof, a pained expression on her face

"Oh. Of course" Spike kicks himself internally. How could he be so insensitive? "Just follow the road, Fluttershy. You sure you want to go alone? I mean…"

"Oh, don't worry" she smiles again "I'm okay. It's just my sense of direction that is a little busted"

"Uh… okay, then" Spike says, going back to the books.

As soon as Fluttershy leaves the library, her expression changes to one of austerity.

Calmly going her way, Fluttershy takes time to study her surroundings. Observing every building, every pony, with intense curiosity. Her mind assimilates every information she receives, saving it on the back of her brain, to be used whenever it may be necessary. No matter how ludicrous the situation may be, she knows how to blend in.

"Hey, Fluttershy!"

The yellow Pegasus is taken away from her thoughts by surprise "What?" she looks at both sides but sees nopony.

"I'm talking to you, you little wimp!" Gilda lands violently in front of Fluttershy, shaking the ground "What did you do to Rainbow Dash?"

"I-I'm sorry?" Fluttershy stutters

Gilda suddenly charges, grabbing Fluttershy with her talon and holding it against a nearby wall "Don't play games with me! I know what you and your friends were planning! Tell me where you're keeping Rainbow Dash or I'll put you in a world of pain!"

"Take your filthy talon off of me" Fluttershy said, dead serious

"What?!" Gilda couldn't help but laugh "Don't tell me little whiny Fluttershy decided to grow a spine! It's a shame that that's the only part of you that grew, you stupid, pathetic, little... OUCH!" Gilda screams as Fluttershy had bitten her hard.

In pain, she lets her go, caressing her talon "You little bas—" Gilda is unable to complete her sentence because Fluttershy does a flying kick on her beak, leaving a small crack.

Before she can recover, Fluttershy grabs her tail, wraps it around her hind leg and pulls it, making Gilda fall on her back. She turns to her side, trying to get up, but Fluttershy grabs one of her talons and twists it against her back.

"Ouch! You little…"

"Look, you overgrown chicken" Fluttershy says "I don't know what you think…"

"I'm not a chicken!" Gilda yells furiously, before Fluttershy gives another twist on her arm "OUCH! I'm a chicken! I'm a chicken! Bawk, bawk, bawk!"

"Oh, please, have a little bit of dignity" Fluttershy says, releasing her grip. Gilda crawls to the side, not knowing exactly which of her many injuries to caress first "As I was saying: I don't know what you think we've done to Rainbow Dash, but if you come around me or any of my friends again with that attitude, I will put you in a world of pain!"

Gilda stares at Fluttershy, scared. That Pegasus was right! These ponies are evil! How foolish has she been! How foolish has Rainbow Dash been! She needs to do something to save her! But she can't attack them upfront. It's suicide! If that wimp Fluttershy can give her a beatdown, what are the others able to do? She needs to rethink her strategy…

"Did I make myself clear?"

"Uh… what?" Gilda asked, sweating nervously

"I said: Did I make myself clear?"

"Yes, Ms. Fluttershy, ma'am!" Gilda says, taking flight "I promise you I won't bother you anymore, Fluttershy, ma'am!"

"Good" Fluttershy watches Gilda fly in a hurry

"And my name is not Fluttershy" she says when Gilda is already far away "It's Natasha"