CHAPTER TWELVE

YOU WOULDN'T LIKE ME WHEN I PARTY

"HE ESCAPED?!" the councilman yells at Fury "You allowed Loki to escape?!"

"This is inadmissible, director" the councilwoman said "Your constant screw-ups are testing our patience"

Count to ten… Fury thinks to himself

"We are tracking their Quinjet" Fury finally says "There's something jamming the sign, but we're still able to pick up something…"

"Oh, you're still able to pick up something?" the councilman says "That's very comforting, Director Fury"

Fury raises an eyebrow, surprised by the councilman's unprecedented use of sarcasm "Our response team will be on pursuit as soon as…"

"We don't care about your freakshow circus, Director" the councilman interrupts

"Give us just one good reason why we shouldn't discharge you right now" the councilwoman told him

"How about: We're in the middle of a crisis, and we don't have time to waste appointing a new director and briefing him, or her, about the situation until our runaway demigod is safely contained once again, or else, said runaway demigod will take advantage of our lack of leadership and organization to cripple our defenses more than they already are?" Fury answers

The council hesitates "Give us a moment, Director Fury" one of them says as the four screens black out and a message saying PLEASE, WAIT TO SPEAK WITH THE WORLD SECURITY COUNCIL appears.

After a few minutes, they're back.

"Very well, Director" the councilwoman said "We will give you leeway for the time being, but as soon as this crisis is over you will be held accountable for the consequences created by the faulty decisions made under your command. The council will meet in private to discuss your future in this organization. I will warn you now, Director: it doesn't look good"

"I can hardly wait" Fury replied, deadpan, and ceased the communications.

Faulty decisions under my command… Fury thinks to himself, as he walks towards the bridge I wonder if they are ever held accountable for their 'Faulty Decisions'

But then again, he shouldn't judge them so harshly on their hypocrisy. After all, let's not kid ourselves, they're on the game of hypocrisy, lies, and deceit. And Nick Fury holds the High Score on that game.

One fine example of that would be how he told them that there was absolutely no time to brief someone about the situation, and yet, that's exactly what he's gonna do: Brief three Inter-Dimensional Alien Horses not only about the situation at hand, but everything that led up to it, so they'll know what's happening, why it's happening, what they'll have to do, what they can do, and how they can do it, so they won't fuck it all up.

It's necessary to instruct these ponies before releasing them on the battlefield.

Meanwhile, 40 miles away, 37.400 feet down, and a little bit to the left from the Helicarrier…

On the R&D department of the Stark Tower, two bodies lie unconscious. One on a couch; the other on the floor.

The body on the floor, the one who used to belong to Dr. Robert Bruce Banner, starts to move. Pinkie blinks her (new) eyes, confused. She scans her surroundings. Why, this isn't Sugar Cube Corner!

Indeed, it isn't. She's in a completely new and strange place. And in a completely new and strange body too! What happened? Quickly, her brain comes up with three possible possibilities!

She's dreaming! Not likely. If this was a dream, she would be having underwater adventures as a Mermare with Major Jellyfish and his troop of Sea-Monkeys fighting the evil hordes of Emperor Grumpy Pants to discover the legendary treasure of Captain Seahorse, whose caramel ship was stranded on the Cheese Mountains of the Fondue Kingdom, guarded by a benign Spirit of the Watery Forests, played by Fluttershy making a Special Dream Cameo. Obviously.

This is some of Discord's shenanigans! Also not likely. Discord's Shenanigans™ are much more amusing and entertaining than this. Of course, he could be trapping Pinkie in this dull environment devoid of joy and laughter as an ironic punishment/torture. But, as diabolically clever as that would be, such display of boringness is below him and she knows it.

This is Tony Stark's world! She's been swapped with one of his friends! BINGO! We have a winner! Really? What did I win? What did I win? Nothing. Aw…

Pinkie Banner takes a second look at the room she finds herself in. So, this is Stark's world? Ever since meeting him, Pinkie imagined many ways of how different, alien, and exciting his dimension could be. She's disappointed. There are no dancing piñatas anywhere. The room, however, did have an atmosphere that seemed to scream SCIENCE at her: Metal tables full of unused flasks and equipment; flickering screens; glass doors; cables everywhere; etc. She would probably be fascinated, if everything wasn't so booooooooriiiiiiiiiiiiing!

But wait! Something catches her attention. Above one of the metal tables hovers a small ball of alluring light. Pinkie becomes mesmerized by its shine "Ooh, shiny!" as she puts it.

Pinkie approaches the small sparkle, her hoof (hand) extended, eager to touch it.

Wait! Pinkie stops to think What did Granny Pie used to say?

Get off my lawn!

No. She never said that. What was it?

Never trust a pony who likes math

Hum… She did say that once… but no. It's something that she used to say to me all the time…

Giggle at the ghostie

Yeah, she used to say that a lot. But I don't see how this applies to the situation at hoof…

For goodness' sake! Pinkamena Diane Pie, you stupid filly, DON'T TOUCH THAT!

That's it!

Remembering the valuable lesson that Granny's wise words and the 33 Near-Death Experiences she had during her fillyhood had taught her, Pinkie refrains from touching the small dot of light.

"Ha! Nice try, sparkly thingy! But you're not smart enough to trick this pony" Pinkie turns away, proud of herself. Not one second later, she turns back, giggling "Just one touch won't hurt…"

But before she's able to satisfy her 'touching' curiosity, Pinkie hears a faint moan coming from the other side of the room. She stops what she's doing and turns to look.

Near the opposite wall, resting on a sofa, lies a strange creature. Pinkie had seen her before during her first scan of the room, but her figure was so alien to her that Pinkie mistook her for an adornment of the furniture, like a big plushie. But now that she was moaning, moving, and waking up, Pinkie finally realized what that thing really was…

A NEW FRIEND!

Pepper blinks her eyes, slowly returning to consciousness. As soon as her vision turns to focus, she is greeted by the sight of Bruce Banner smiling ear from ear at her.

"Uh… Bruce?" she asks "A-are you okay? What happened?"

"YAY! You're awake!" Pinkie Banner bounces in the air "I'm so glad you're awake! Now I have somepony to talk to! This place was getting kinda boring…"

"Uh… what?"

"I said I'm glad I have somepony to talk to!" Pinkie repeated, overjoyed "I love talking! And I love making new friends! Now, I'm doing both! We should have a party to celebrate!"

"You… You're not really Bruce, are you?" Pepper asks her

Pinkie shakes her head, smiling

"I'm Pinkie Pie! You're glad to meet me! I mean, I'm glad to meet you! Heh, heh, heh. Oh, wait! I haven't met you yet! What's your name?"

"Uh… I'm Pepper" Pepper answers "Pepper Potts"

"Pepper! You're Stark's marefriend, aren't you? That's so great! I'm so happy to meet yWAIT A MINUTE!" Pinkie suddenly yells, surprising Pepper "Pepper… Potts? You… You… You have the same initials as I! PP! Oh, my gosh! That's so cool!" Pinkie Banner starts to bounce around the room, much to Pepper's confusion/amusement "Tony and Twi also have the same initials! Now, you are my 'Initials Friend'! I always wanted to have 'Initials Friends'! But none of my friends share my initials… It would be so funny if they did! Can you imagine? Painbow Pash, heh, heh, heh… or Pwilight Pparkle! HAHAHAHAHA! Oh wait! Twi and Dashie! They're here, right? Where are they?"

"I… I don't know, sorry" Pepper says, caressing her head She's right. Where is everybody? "I think is just us here…"

"Aw… Well, that's okay! We'll have party with just the two of us!" Pinkie said, gleefully "I once had a party with just me! It was a crazy party! Because I was kinda crazy too… I can't just stand and do nothing, though. So, I made up some guests and start to act on their behalf! It was so funny! And a little lonely… But that's okay! Because my friends were there to have a real party with me!"

"Uh… well, that's great, Pinkie" Pepper answered, unsure "I guess…"

"That lone party was good for something, though" Pinkie continued "It taught me that if my friends aren't available to have fun with me, I can just made up some temporary friends and talk to them! I love talking! Did I mention that already? I think I did"

"Yeah, I…"

"So every now and then I look at the mirror and talk to myself! I say 'Hi, Pinkie! Beautiful day, isn't it?' 'Sure is, Pinkie! Do you have plans for today?' 'You know it! I'm gonna make a surprise party for Stark and the girls on the library! They won't even know I'm there until everything is ready! It's gonna be great!' 'That sounds so cool! You always throw the best parties, Pinkie!' 'Thanks, Pinkie' 'Hey there, Pinkies! What's going on?' 'Oh, hi Pinkie! I'm just telling Pinkie about the party I'm gonna throw for the girls at the library!' 'Cool! Can I go?' 'I wouldn't go without you, Pinkie'"

"Uh… okay…"

"Sometimes, I give them distinctive personalities to make things more interesting! Like Pinkamena and Diane, for example! Diane is a little silly, but Pinkamena is a real pain! Don't tell her I said that!"

"I…"

"Speaking of her, I was just having an argument with her before I woke up here! She was saying that Sugar Cube Corner was lame and that it stinks! She can be really rude sometimes, I just don't know what to do with her! So, I was telling her she was wrong when I passed out and was brought here! Good thing too! Can you imagine if Mr. & Mrs. Cake caught me arguing with my reflection on the glass counters? They would think I'm crazy! Hahahahaha!"

"…"

"Don't worry, I'm not crazy! I'm just happy! Hahahahahahaha! Like the author said in the first chapter! Or should I say typed?"

"Wait, who?"

"Who are the Cakes? Oh, right! You don't know them! Duh, silly me! They're my employers! They're really nice! You should check up on them once you're swapped too! They live on Sugar Cube Corner. Ask for directions!"

"I… really don't think I'm going to be swapped, Pinkie" Pepper replies

"Heheheheheheheh… Of course you won't" Pinkie winks "As I was saying, I hope they and whoever is inside my body are getting along well. It must be so weird for them! I hope they don't think I'm schizophrenic! Hehehehehehe! That's such a funny word! Schizophrenic! Schi! Zzzzzzzo! Phrenic! So many Zs! Well, there's only one Z, but…"

"You're quite a talker, aren't you?" Pepper smiled

"Oh, yeah! I do talk a lot! I love talking! I'm pretty sure I already said that! Like twice! I don't mind! I love talking! I love talking about how much I love talking! I don't know what I would do if I didn't have a mouth! I wouldn't be able to talk! Or smile! Or eat delicious cakes! What a nightmare it would be! I shudder just to think! Luckily, nopony would ever, like, erase my mouth or something! It would be so funny if somepony did! And horrible! But also funny! And horrible! I like my mouth! I like eating cakes! Not THE Cakes! I would never eat the Cakes! But I love eating cakes! I love eating!"

"Uh, Pinkie… could you… stop for a moment?"

"Oh… uh… sure… I do talk a lot, don't I?" Pinkie Banner smiles, embarrassed

Pepper laughs "It's okay. So does Tony. It's almost impossible to make him shut up! You two are very similar in that aspect. And in the eating aspect too. Donuts, cheeseburgers, tuna sandwiches, you name it"

"Does he like partying? Because I love partying!"

"He used to. Now, not as much. I guess he's trying to be a 'responsible boyfriend'. Maybe trying to make up for his womanizer past"

"What's a womanizer?" Pinkie asked, curious

Pepper raises her eyebrow, smiling unsure "Uh… well… a womanizer is someone who, uh… flirts with a lot of girls"

"Oh, right!" Pinkie smiled "That does sound like him!"

Pepper's smile fades "What do you mean?"

"Tony was flirting with the girls a lot!"

"He was?" Pepper says, her fists subtly clenching I f#&$ing knew it!

"But Thor was flirting more!" Pinkie continues "Kissing everypony's hooves!"

"Kissing… hooves?"

"Yeah, like this" Pinkie proceeds to hold her own hand and kiss it, before laughing out loud at herself

"Oh, right. Heh, heh" Pepper laughs, relieved That's what she meant by flirting. Tony wasn't flirting. He was just being courteous.

…

Wait…

Since when is Tony courteous?

Pepper turns to Pinkie again and finds her in the middle of another monologue...

"…hooves are full of bacteria because we walk on dirt all day and usually don't wear shoes! Or horseshoes. We actually just throw horseshoes at stakes in the ground in a very silly game that's probably very strange and alien for you. We also use them for decorative purposes. We never actually wear them! Makes you wonder why we call them shoes! Anyways, you shouldn't kiss hooves very often! It's not hygienic! But it's a nice gesture! You're sacrificing your oral health for a display of courtesy! Very noble and selfless!"

"You know…" Pepper says "After dealing with Tony for so long, I thought I had become immune to people who can't stop talking, but you… you are something else entirely"

"Yeah! I'm a pony!"

Pepper smiles "Yeah, right. Well, I guess I can't really blame you for talking a lot… This whole body-swapping/dimension traveling thing… That seems to have made you very excited"

"That's my secret, Pep: I'm always excited!" Pinkie laughs "Is it okay for me to call you Pep?"

"It's okay" Pepper smiles and lifts herself from the sofa "Jarvis? What happened? Where is everybody?"

There was no answer

"You talk to yourself too? That's so cool!" Pinkie said

"Jarvis is still not answering" Pepper says to herself "This is not good"

"You need to talk in front of a mirror for better effect!"

"No, this is not right" Pepper grabs her phone, just to find it completely cracked, probably from when she was thrown against the wall by Loki Fuckity fuckity fuck fuck fuck "Oh, that's just great! No communications" If there was just another way that she could send a message. Something involving magic fire, maybe. Oh, well… "Uh, Pinkie? I'll need to go out for a sec to see if I can find some way to contact someone to find out what the hell is going on. I'll be back soon, stay put"

"What? NO!" Pinkie pleaded "Take me with you! Take me with you! Pleasepleasepleaseplease!"

Pepper looks at Pinkie. God, it was so weird seeing 'Bruce' behaving in that manner (P.P. Note: 'manner' rhymes with 'Banner'! Heheheh!)"I'm not entirely sure that's a good idea…"

"It's an excellent idea!" Pinkie exclaimed after writing her note in the previous line "This is a new and exciting world! Sure, I said it was boring just a few paragraphs ago, but that was before I met you and realized that this is an entire new universe full of friends that I haven't met yet! I have to meet them! And they have to meet me! Also, I need to meet up with Dashie, Twi, and AJ! You can't leave me here! Pleasepleaseplease again! Let me go with you!"

Pepper sighs "Fine, Pinkie. You can come along"

"YAY! THIS WILL BE SO EXCITING AND FUN!" Pinkie Banner began to bounce in the air, overjoyed "Are you excited? Because, I'm excited! Who else is excited? Raise your hoof! A new world full of friends, wonders, and possibilities! So exciting! There's still hope for dancing piñatas! I'm excited! I'm really, really excited! I don't think I've ever been this excited! I've been close to this level of excitement, but not quite this excited! At least, I don't think I… I… I'm not feeling very well…"

Pepper turns and sees Pinkie slowly bending over, her hands tucking at her heart, which was pounding at a very high rate "Pinkie! What's wrong? I—" Pepper's question is cut short once Pinkie turns her head up, showcasing a pair of glowing green eyes.

"W-what's happening to me?!" Pinkie asks with difficulty.

Pepper knew what was happening to her. Or, at least, she thinks she knows. And it's not good. She slowly begins to step away, fearful.

"W-what's happening? T-this… this hurts!" Pinkie cried, one of her hands touching the floor for support, the floor which is subtly cracking under the pressure of her fingertips "W-where are you going? No! Please, help me! Please! It h-hurts… so much…"

Pepper is torn. Her common sense and self-preservation instincts urge her to get out of there as fast as possible, but she just can't bring herself to ignore the crying pleas of the little innocent pony trapped inside the dangerously volatile body of Bruce Banner.

"Pinkie, try to stay calm…" she says, giving a few cautious steps towards her.

"Why is this happening?" Pinkie cries, as her clothes begin to rip "Make it stop!"

"Pinkie! Please, try to fight it! You must…"

"Help me!" tears were rolling from Pinkie's eyes as she screams in agony

"Pinkie… oh, my god… Pink—"

"Why are you NOT HELPING ME?!" Pinkie roars and, with a sudden move of her arm, she hits Pepper violently, throwing her to the other side of the room, right into the small inter-dimensional rift.

Pepper screams. The rift's energy takes hold of her body, running through her very veins, intoxicating her brain, as the space-time continuum itself begins to converge at her very being. The world blacks out for a second and then flashes begin to pass through her eyes at mind-numbing speed. She starts to see things… little fragments of past events from both dimensions…

A white unicorn falls from the skies. Her blue Pegasus friend saves her in the nick of time.

An armored man falls from the skies. His green monster friend saves him in the nick of time.

A blue unicorn in a purple hat and cape stands on a stage, boasting herself amidst fireworks. She says she's the only one able to defeat an Ursa Major and there's no one who can challenge her. That turns out to not be true.

A man in a red and yellow armor stands on a stage, boasting himself amidst fireworks. He says he's the only one able to build a functional Arc Reactor and there's no one who can challenge him. That turns out to not be true.

A Griffon and a Pegasus were best friends ever since they were little. They have a fallout. Hurt with the loss of her friend, the Pegasus finds comfort on her new friends.

A Sniper and a Captain were best friends ever since they were little. The sniper falls out of a train. Hurt with the loss of his friend, the captain finds comfort on his new friends.

Three dogs are in a cave with a white unicorn held prisoner. It does not end well for them.

Three Russians are in a warehouse with a redhead woman held prisoner. It does not end well for them.

An orange pony and a blue Pegasus have a heated argument. The pony says that the Pegasus only won because of her wings.

A billionaire and a soldier have a heated argument. The billionaire says that the soldier is only special because of his serum.

A purple unicorn refuses to take her pink friend's claim of precognitive powers at face value. She's sure she can find an explanation that conforms to her beliefs. She doesn't.

A scientist refuses to take a blonde stranger's claim of mythological divinity at face value. He's sure he can find an explanation that conforms to his beliefs. He doesn't.

A blue Pegasus is excited to finally meet her idols (though she kinda already met them before). She's ignored.

An agent is excited to finally meet his idol (though he kinda already met him before). He's ignored.

A purple unicorn refuses to use her 'special skills', afraid that her friends would hate her for it. She's left with no other choice once an Ursa Minor begins to attack Ponyville.

A fugitive refuses to use his 'special skills', afraid that people would be hurt by it. He's left with no other choice once the Abomination begins to attack Harlem.

A Princess tries to talk sense into and reconcile with her disgraced younger sister. They can rule together, she says. The sister gives her a hug and asks for forgiveness.

A Prince tries to talk sense into and reconcile with his disgraced younger brother. They can stop them together, he says. The brother stabs him and mocks his sentimentalism.

A purple unicorn sits on her bed, trying to ignore the music from the obnoxious party thrown at her behalf. She insists she doesn't need any friends.

A man in armor sits on a donut, trying to ignore the memories of the disastrous party thrown at his behalf. He insists he works alone.

A blue Pegasus shoots a red beam from her chest by, what seems to be, sheer accident. She's now the man in red.

A man in red armor shoots a blue beam from his chest by, what seems to be, sheer accident. He's now the blue Pegasus.

The flashes last no longer than a millisecond, as the portal seemingly implodes, releasing Pepper and dissipating its energy in the air.

Pepper tries to recover. All she hears are cries of pain mixed with roars of fury. Her vision is blurry. She manages to glimpse something green leaping through a hole leading to the city where a wall used to be, just before passing out again. God, this better not turn into a habit.

"ARGH!"

"What's the matter?" Twilight asks Clint, as they wait for the Quinjet to land on the Helicarrier.

"Nothing. Is just…" Clint caresses his head "A sudden headache. Like someone just shot an arrow in my brain"

"Who would've guessed?" Natasha gives a pained smile "Headaches are contagious"

Clint smiles back.

Hill frowns.

"You two must report to the medical bay as soon as we land" she tells them "and you won't leave until you are in perfect conditions again"

"I am in perfect conditions…" Natasha protested

"No, you're not" Hill replied

"Hill… it's just a headache…" Clint tries to argue

"It's a liability" Hill insists "Look, you two are the best operatives we have, but that will mean nothing if you two are bumbling through the battlefield like you just woke up with a hangover"

"Maria…"

"It's an order, Agent Barton"

Clint stays silent, giving a simple nod of acknowledgement.

"Sweet Celestia…" Apple mumbles for the third time on the last two minutes, ever since she saw the Helicarrier for the first time through the window "I just can't believe this..."

"You'll get used to it" Twilight laughs "Or, maybe not…"

The Quinjet lands. One by one, their occupants start to exit, with Hill already ordering Clint and Natasha to go straight to the Medical Bay. No excuses! Twilight notices that Tony Dash is still on her seat, kind of rocking back and forth. She moves towards her.

"Hey, Rainbow! We already landed" Twilight Odinson says "Are you alright?"

"…not a finger not a finger not a finger not a finger oh my gosh I touched that not a finger not a finger I feel it touching my thighs not a finger…"

"Hey, hey!" Twilight gave her a little shake "Snap out of it!"

"Uh... what?" Dash says, as if waking up from a trance "Twilight?"

"We arrived" she says "and you're babbling"

"Oh, right. Right…" Dash replies and begins to stand up

"Don't forget your helmet" Twilight says

"What? Oh, right. Right…" Dash retrieves the Iron Man helmet from the seat next to her and disembarks the Quinjet, holding it under her arm.

"Welcome aboard. Again" Nick Fury greets them as they arrive on the bridge "Where's Barton and Romanoff?"

"Agents Barton and Romanoff have been compromised, sir" Hill addressed him "They checked in the medical bay"

"Under whose orders?"

"Mine, sir"

"Very well, then" Fury replied and then turned to the ponies "What I need to discuss with you three doesn't concern them anyway"

"And what is it that you need to discuss with us?" Twilight asked him

"Hi there, I'm Applejack" Apple Rogers extended her hand for Fury to shake "Nice to meet ya face to face"

Fury looked at her hand and then at her. He finally gave her a very brief handshake and said "I'm Nick Fury, Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. As I was about to tell your friend, we need to bring you all up to speed about the situation with Loki, the Avengers and the Tesseract"

"Deputy Hill" Agent Jasper Sitwell whispered to her "We have a situation"

"What is there to bring us up to speed?" Dash asked Fury "That jerk tried to kill us all, took the cube and Dr. Selvig, and then flew away to Celestia knows where. Do you know where he's going?"

"Not yet" Fury answers "We hope to have the exact location and direction of the stolen Quinjet soon"

"Then there's nothing you can tell us about the situation that we don't already know!"

"There is plenty that I can tell you about the situation that you don't know!" Fury replied "You ponies haven't even scratched the surface of the mess you found yourselves in! That's why we need to brief you about the Avengers Initiative as soon and as quickly as…"

"I'm sorry, sir" Maria Hill interrupted "But I think you need to see this"

"What is it?" Fury asks her

"Put it on the screen" Hill tells Sitwell who complies, sending the newscast to the main monitor.

"…only a few days ago, he was heralded as a hero by the thankful citizens of New York City for his contribution to the victory against the invading alien forces" anchorman Ethan Edwards said "but it seems that these accolades were given prematurely as the Incredible Hulk was seem rampaging throughout Park Avenue in uncontrollable rage"

"SHIT!" Nick Fury exclaimed

"What's happening?" Twilight asked

"These images from the Hulk's destructive attack were recorded just a few minutes ago by an anonymous bystander who posted it on his YouTube channel" anchorwoman Patricia 'Trish' Tilby said before the screen started to show a shaky footage of a humungous green monster stumbling through the streets, flinging cars out of its way.

"GET OUT OF MY WAY!" the creature in the screen roared "S'IL VOUS PLAÎT"

"Dude, did you get that? I think he spoke French!" a voice is heard off-screen

Apple Rogers, Twilight Odinson, and Tony Dash stared at the images in disbelief.

"What… what in Celestia's name is that thing?" Twilight asked

"That thing is Bruce Banner" Fury replied

The three ponies immediately turn their heads towards Fury, dumbfounded

"Come again?" Twilight says

"That… that monster is Bruce?" Dash asks

"That monster is what Banner turns into if he gets too angry, nervous, or excited" Fury explained

The ponies slowly turn their heads back to the monitors, watching the savage monster that was once Bruce Banner roaring incomprehensibly while leaving a trail of destruction on his path.

"Oh… my… gosh" Apple mumbles

"This is so messed up…" Dash says

"This… this was his condition?" Twilight asks, unable to believe what she has just been told

"Pretty much" Fury answers

"Here we see a military jeep trying to intervene… unsuccessfully" Tilby continues to narrate the coverage as the Hulk destroys the military vehicle with the soldiers running for their lives.

"So" Fury asks them "Do you girls still believe there's nothing I can tell you that you don't already know?"

Twilight shakes her head slowly, without taking her eyes from the monitor nor changing her facial expression.

"I just… this can't… I… but Bruce seemed like such a nice guy…" Dash mumbled

"Oh, but Banner really is a nice guy" Fury replied "The Hulk, on the other hand, tends to be a very nasty piece of work"

"Nice and Nasty… sharing the same body…" Twilight whispers to herself "Like Princess Luna and Nightmare Moon…"

"I… I tackled him…" Apple began to babble "He opened the door and I tackled him… and I yelled at him… I was makin' him nervous… he told me I was makin' him nervous… he told me to stop… he said I shouldn't make him nervous… that it's a bad idea to make him nervous… I didn't listen… I kept pushin' him… until Twilight talked to me… I almost… I… I almost… almost…"

Another explosion is shown on the screen as the Hulk roars.

Apple Rogers faints.

"Applejack!" Dash yells

"Oh, dear Celestia! Somepony! Bring her some water!" Twilight pleads

"You heard her! Bring us some water!" Fury orders some agents

"Sir, General Thaddeus Ross is on the phone" Hill says "He wants to…"

"Tell him to shove it!" Fury interrupts her

"Here, Applejack. Drink it" Twilight Odinson held her awakening friend's head so she could drink the glass of water the agents had brought them.

"Reanimate her quicker" Fury tells Twilight "We need to neutralize the Hulk before Ross and his military thugs try to make their move and turn the situation worse than it already is"

"The World Security Council is on the line" Hill says

"Pretend we lost their signal" Fury replies before turning to Apple who was already able to stand up "You better get dressed. We don't have time to waste"

"The Captain America uniform is still on repairs, sir" Hill informed

"Is it? Well, in that case, just the shield will have to do"

"What shield? The one yer director of?" Apple asks "Why are ya Director of a shield anyways? What does that even mean?"

"No. I'm talking about your shield. Or Rogers' shield, to be more precise. The 'shield' I'm Director of is this" Fury motions to the bridge "We are S.H.I.E.L.D. It's the name of our little organization. It stands for Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement, and Logistics Division"

"That… is quite a mouthful" Twilight replies

"I know" Fury says "And that's why we just say S.H.I.E.L.D."

"Hey! Hold on a darn second!" Dash chimes in "Don't you girls see what's happening here? He's gonna send us down there to capture… that!"

"Yes, that's exactly what I'm doing" Fury says, nonchalantly

"Us against that?" Dash repeats "You can't be serious!"

"I'm always serious" Fury replies with a stern look, which quickly turns into a smirk "Why, you're scared?"

Scared? What? Of that unstoppable giant mass of angry muscles? No… I'm not scared. I'm freaking terrified!

"Pfft! Of course I'm not scared! What do you think I am? A chicken?" Dash answers back, avoiding eye contact "It's just… why don't you send some of your guys down? I mean, this is your mess, not ours"

"First of all, the Hulk is everyone's mess. Second of all, sending soldiers his way will only make him angrier" Fury says "The only way to stop him is to make him calm down. A couple of friendly faces may help that. Now, let's get moving. I'll brief you on the way"

"…all hands on deck. This is not an exercise…"

"There seems to be some commotion" Clint says, lying on his bed in the medical bay, after hearing the intercom "I wonder what we're missing"

He turns to Natasha and sees that she's fast asleep.

He sighs. He feels tired too, but he doesn't want to close his eyes. Something on the back of his mind tells him that if he does sleep, he just might not be himself once he wakes up.

He turns aside to look at a door on the other side of the medical bay. The access to that door is restricted. Very few know what's behind that door. Some agents speculate it's some kind of secret weapon or experiment. Why is it on the medical bay though? Beats them. But Barton is security Level 7. He knows exactly what is behind that door. Clint smiles to himself. Laughing at their little private joke. He then faces the ceiling, trying not to fall asleep.

Little creatures running away. Little creatures afraid of Pinkie. Pinkie not afraid of little creatures. Little creatures little. Pinkie big. Little creatures can't hurt Pinkie. Pinkie can hurt little creatures. Pinkie can't hug little creatures because Pinkie hurts little creatures. This makes Pinkie sad. No. This makes Pinkie angry. Pinkie wants to hug. But creatures not want be hugged. Pinkie frustrated. Pinkie lots of things. Pinkie especially big. Pinkie likes being big but not when Pinkie makes potential friends afraid of Pinkie. Pinkie likes explosions though. Explosions fun.

A news copter follows the trail of destruction left by the green goliath. Inside it, reporter Chess Roberts is ready for her big break as her crew is ready to go live.

"…with Chess Roberts on the sky" Chess listens to her cue

"Hi, Ethan" Chess begins her report "We are now flying above Times Square where the Hulk seems to be oddly awestruck by his surroundings. The streets in the area are deserted, thanks to the citizens being notified of his rampage. This would be a perfect opportunity for the National Guard to do their move. There is, however, no sign of military or even police forces anywhere. We have yet to receive any kind of information about why the military is not intervening"

"I've contacted the National Guard Commander and told him to stand his troops down so our team, that is you, could take care of the situation" Nick Fury informs the ponies over the radio "Remember: the key to detain the Hulk is to make him calm down. He has the mentality of a very aggressive five year old. Do not attack him unless you deem it absolutely necessary"

"Understood" Twilight answered the radio

Sitting next to her on the Quinjet, Apple Rogers was wearing a spare S.H.I.E.L.D. agent uniform, flipping the red, white, and blue shield on her hands. It's a nice shield, she thinks, very nice indeed. On the seat across her, Tony Dash sat in full armor, except for the helmet which was on her lap, as she keeps tapping on it nervously.

"Ya okay?" Apple asks

"Uh… sure. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Right…" Apple replied, unconvinced

"This television thing is magnificent!" Twilight exclaimed, holding the tablet showing the newsfeed of the Hulk's rampage "News being updated on the spot! With image and audio! Oh my, if we could bring this kind of technology to Equestria…"

"Yeah, it would be wonderful" Dash cuts her off "Now, if you're done geeking out, could you turn the volume of that thing up, so we could know what's going on?"

"Oh, right. Sorry" Twilight said, and turned the volume up

"…the Hulk seems to be staring at us. God knows what's going through his head at this moment" the voice of Chess Roberts came from it "I just hope he doesn't throw a car at us, or something… can we fly this thing higher? Just to be safe"

The Hulk squints at the helicopter.

Stupid flying machine following Pinkie. What they want? Nopony follows Pinkie! Only Pinkie follows ponies! Pinkie not like flying machine!

The Hulk turns around, looking for something to throw at the flying machine… a car, perhaps, but something catches his attention: the Jumbotron, which was broadcasting the news. The Hulk couldn't hear anything, because the Jumbotron doesn't have speakers, but he could watch it… Some stupid-looking green monster in the middle of some street.

Who's stupid looking green monster? Pinkie no like stupid looking green monster! Monster green and stupid looking! Monster…

The Hulk seems to notice that the monster is copying his movements…

…monster is Pinkie!

This realization seems to make something click inside the hulking creature's child-like mind. The Hulk falls on his ass, laughing.

"HAHAHAHAHA! PINKIE SILLY! PINKIE MONSTER! PINKIE LOOKS FUNNY! PINKIE LOOKS GREEN!" the Hulk then looks at the helicopter, then back to the Jumbotron, then back to the helicopter again "HEY! FLYING MACHINE FILMING PINKIE!" the Hulk begins to wave at the news crew "HEY THERE! LOOK WHAT PINKIE CAN DO!"

"The Hulk seems to be waving at us, Ethan. I think he wants our attention" Chess Roberts tells her anchorman "He stopped waving. He… Ethan, I'm not sure I can trust my eyes, but I believe the Hulk is tap dancing"

Apple, Dash, and Twilight all raise their eyebrows at the news.

"Uh… the Hulk is tap dancing" Twilight says on her radio "Is that normal?"

"…no" Nick Fury answered with a little hint of confusion on his voice, something that is very rare for him.

"Then why he's acting so…" Dash starts to say, before realization begins to creep in "…random?!"

Apple and Twilight's eyes open wide as they begin to realize it too. The three friends look at each other before turning back to the screen.

"He's now doing somersaults" Chess Roberts continues her coverage

"PINKIE!" the three yell in unison

"YAY! THIS IS FUN!" the Hulk laughs "PINKIE JUGGLE TOO! WANT TO SEE PINKIE JUGGLE? PINKIE GRAB PUNY METAL CARTS AND… And… and… Pinkie feel weak…"

The Hulk feels his strength slowly fading. His vision blurs. Mildly panicking, the Hulk looks at his surroundings. He sees something that seems familiar to his confused brain.

Trees… woods… Everfree Forest… HOME

Using all the strength he has left, the Hulk leaps towards his new destination.

"The Hulk is on the move! He looks wounded" Chess Roberts says "He's going up the 7th Avenue. I think… I think he's moving towards Central Park! Yes! He's entering Central Park now! He… he... the trees! We lost visual! He's trying to hide. A little hard for someone like him, but it appears he's succeeding. We'll be patrolling the area for any sign of him. Back to you, Ethan"

"You need to bring us to this 'Central Park'!" Twilight told the Quinjet pilot after she finished watching the news

At Central Park, a young couple is taking one of the traditional Central Park carriage rides. The man fancies himself lucky. Thanks to the recent events, the rides' fees decreased. Now, before you call him a cheapskate, remember: The economy wasn't exactly wonderful before a bunch of aliens blew up part of New York, and it sure isn't running smoothly now that they did. Plus, they may even see, during their ride, one of those dead giant space snakes if they haven't all been cleaned up by now. Chicks dig dead giant space snakes.

Suddenly, the woman points forward "Honey, look!"

Ahead on the road, a shirtless, shoeless stranger with his pants in tatters, was lying down, breathing heavily.

"The poor man!" the woman says "He looks like he's been through hell! Let's stop to help him"

"What?! Are you crazy?!" the man protests "We don't know this man! He could be dangerous! What if he tries to mug us?"

"He looks like he's just been mugged himself" the woman replies "He could be a survivor of the attacks who just now managed to dig himself out of the wreckages. It's at these times of need that we should exercise our solidarity"

"I… but… fine" the man sighs

"Coachman" the woman says "Please, stop so we can talk to that poor man"

"The one that is waving frantically at us?" the coachman asks, pointing to Pinkie Banner who's now up, waving and bouncing, a huge smile on her face.

"Hey! Hey! Over here!" Pinkie yells

"He seems a little bit… cheerful for a homeless guy, don't you think?" the man says

"He learned to keep his spirits up. It's encouraging" the woman replies and then turns to Pinkie "Hello, my friend. What happened to you?"

But Pinkie didn't pay attention to her. She'd rather talk to the horse that was drawing the carriage instead.

"Hey, there! I didn't think I would find another pony here! This is so great!" Pinkie said to the horse "Say, you're a big guy! Are you related to Princess Celestia?"

The horse just stares at her.

"Oh, you're the quiet type, aren't you? It's okay. Fluttershy is quiet too and we're great friends!" Pinkie says "I know I can sometimes be a little too forward and that that can be a little intimidating. But trust me, you have absolutely no need to be shy around me!" Pinkie winks and giggles

The coachman and the woman stare at Pinkie, bewildered. The man can't hold his laughter anymore.

"BWAHAHAHA! Are you… are you related to Princess Celestia? BWAHAHAHA! This is priceless!" the man turns to the coachman "What is this? Some new feature of the ride? This is all an act, right? Because it's brilliant!"

"Sir, I swear" the coachman said "I don't know this man. I have no idea what's going on"

The horse begins to sniff Pinkie, curious. She blushes and smiles uncomfortably.

"Oh… Heh… you… you're kinda invading my personal space there…" she says "Then again, I tend to invade other ponies personal spaces all the time too… so… I guess it's okay if you do too… I mean…"

The horse then licks her face.

"Ew! Pervert!" Pinkie cries, slapping the horse in the face

The horse neighs and prances, startling the passengers and the coachman

"He… he just SLAPPED the horse?!" the man says, alarmed

"You should be ashamed of yourself, mister" Pinkie reprimanded the horse "Just because a girl is nice to you doesn't mean she's hitting on you! What would your mom say?"

"This hobo is crazy! Get us out of here!" the man yelled to the coachman, who nodded and whipped the horse which dashed off with the carriage, leaving Pinkie Banner behind.

"Wait! Don't run away! I didn't mean to be rude! I know making friends can be hard for some ponies but, if we just talked a little longer, I'm sure we could work things out! You look like a nice pony! You're even kinda cute!" Pinkie yells but the horse and carriage were already far away "Call me!" she shouts as a last resort.

"There she is!"

Pinkie turns her head to see three men moving on her direction. One was blonde with armor and cape. The other was black-haired in a red and gold (with a little bit of grey) armor, holding an also red and gold helmet on one hand. The last one was blonde like the first one, wearing a dark blue jumpsuit and carrying a red, white and blue round shield with a star on the center.

"Yay! A costume party! Can I join? Can I join?" Pinkie Banner jumps up and down "I don't have a costume though… oh, wait! Yes, I do! I'm costumed as 'Not A Pony'! Heheheheh!"

"It's her alright!" Dash says to the others before turning back to Pinkie "Are you okay, Pinkie? Are you hurt? Do you feel sick or…"

"Hey! You know my name! That's great!" Pinkie says cheerfully, but then squints suspiciously "Wait… how you know my name?"

"Pinkie, it's us!" Dash says "Twilight, Applejack, and me, Rainbow Dash!"

But Pinkie keeps her suspicious stance.

Okay, Pinkie she thinks to herself No time for fun & games now. This is important. These creatures claim to be your friends.

Do you believe them?

a) Yes

b) No

c) Chocolate

"Chocolate!" Pinkie Banner said, cheerfully "Definitely chocolate!"

Dash, Apple, and Twilight exchange confused looks "I'm sorry, what?" Dash asks

"I pick C!" Pinkie replies "Now, gimme some chocolate!"

"Uh… we don't have any chocolate, Pinkie" Twilight says

"Aw… Oh, well, what you're gonna do?" Pinkie shrugs "Nice to see you girls again! Even though you're boys now! Heh heh heh! How's it going, Applejack?"

"Uh… I'm Twilight" Twilight answers and then points to Apple Rogers "She's Applejack"

"Oh, ok. Sorry. Heh, heh, silly me" Pinkie laughs "So, anyways, you girls are going to a costume party, right? Can I come too?"

"No, Pinkie. I'm afraid we don't have time for a party" Twilight explains "We need to come back to the Helicarrier so we can be instructed and proceed to locate and pursuit Loki"

"Ooh…" Pinkie says, intrigued "That sounds fun! Can I play?"

"Pinkie!" Twilight says "This is not a ga—Oh, what the hay. Yes, you can play"

"Yay!" Pinkie cheers "I pick Dashie to be on my team!"

"Yeah, alright" Twilight says "Now, let's get going to the Quinjet, so we can return to the Helicarrier and start our 'game'"

As they go their way, Dash turns to Pinkie.

"So… you're sure you're alright?"

"I'm great!" Pinkie answers "Why? You're not feeling alright?"

"What? Me? No" Dash laughs "I'm fine. Especially now that we didn't have to fight you"

"Fight me?" Pinkie asks, confused "Why would you have to fight me?"

Dash looks at Pinkie She doesn't remember anything… Good. It's better that way "No reason, Pinkie. No reason" Dash smiles

"You're all so silly!" Pinkie laughed "Hey! Did you girls know I met another pony in the park just before you arrived?"

"No, we did not" Apple answered

"Yeah, he was tall, strong and brunet! I think he really liked me! He liked me a little too much… then again, he ran away, so I guess he didn't like me that much… He was sending a lot of mixed signals... Oh my gosh! I just realized I never got his name! Darn it, Pinkie, you idiot! It's because of stuff like this that you're still single!" Pinkie frowns at herself, but then laughs "Ha! What I'm talking about? How can I be single if I have you girls with me?"

"I still can't believe that she was that thing" Apple whispered to Twilight "I mean it's so… so… incredible! How's it possible?"

"I know" Twilight whispered back "but we all saw it"

"I don't know" Apple replied "I still find it hard to believe…"

Now, this is the part where some readers may say: 'Oh, c'mon! They're from a land where dragons feed off gems and burn letters so they can be magically transported and restored on some horse Prince's castle, so she can read about someone else's friendships for some reason! Why would they find the Hulk hard to believe? It's just as fantastical as anything else in Equestria! Hell, if anything, the Hulk is actually more plausible than all that retarded shit!"

That's a very common and understandable complaint/opinion/point of view. It's also very wrong.

You see, you're taking an outsider point of view. Everything in both the Avengers and My Little Pony worlds requires that the audience accepts that certain things we know to be impossible can happen. So, we automatically assume that the characters should also accept that. Except that no, they shouldn't. The Nightmare on Elm Street characters accept the existence of Freddy Krueger, because that's a normal thing for them: it's part of their reality. Santa Claus, while just as fictional and fantastic, does not. So, if Old Nick arrived in Springwood delivering presents on his magic flying sleigh, the characters would be totally justified in saying 'WTF?' because his existence does not agree with their perception of reality, even if that perception may already be ridiculous in itself for outsiders (us).

Let's take another example: Let's say you're a character in a 1960's comic book set in the 'futuristic 21st Century'. Your cousin (another character in the comic) comes to your house and says he turned his bathtub in a time machine using old computer parts. You, obviously, say that that's ridiculous!

Now, this would be the part where those 60's readers would say: 'Oh, c'mon! They're from a future where little computer-phones can give you all kinds of information just by sliding your finger randomly in its completely flat glass screen, so you can throw birds at pigs and play with a useless fake lighter for some reason! Why would they find the Bathtub Time Machine hard to believe? It's just as fantastical as anything else in the 2000's! Hell, if anything, the Bathtub Time Machine is actually more plausible than all that retarded shit!"

So, I hope we can put the 'Arbitrary Skepticism' Fallacy to rest.

"Look, sis! Iron Man, Thor and that shield guy are escorting some homeless dude"

Apple, Dash, Pinkie, and Twilight turn their heads to see two siblings pointing at their direction.

"He must be either very important or very dangerous to be escorted by the freakin' Avengers" the girl said to her younger brother

"Take a picture! Take a picture!" her brother tells her

"Hey, look!" Pinkie said "New friends! I think they want to talk to us! Let's go!"

"Pinkie! No! Wait!" Twilight pleaded, but Pinkie was already skipping happily towards the confused duo

"Who wants a hug?" Pinkie cheers

Seeing Pinkie charging at her direction, the girl did what every sensible 20 something female New Yorker would do if a half naked hairy strange man came running, asking if you 'wanted a hug': Tase the fuck out of him!

"Ooh, what are tho—AWERGH!" Pinkie is unable to finish her inquiry about the little flying electrodes as said electrodes hit her central mass, leaving her jerking on the road

"Oh, no! Pinkie!" Apple cries

"Back off, you creep!" the girl says wielding her Taser gun. Not one second later, Pinkie Banner pulls the wires, taking the Taser gun out of the girls' hands. The gun falls on Pinkie's hands, who crushes it on her clutch to everyone's shock.

"You… hurt… PINKIE!" Pinkie raises her head, her eyes glowing green with anger (and gamma radiation) "NOW PINKIE HURT YOU!"

"Oh, God" the girl gasps, protecting her little brother behind her back

"Ya two get out of here!" Apple yells and they comply

"Why you hurt Pinkie?" Pinkie moans, trying to fight back against the transformation… and losing "Why would anypony hurt Pinkie? Pinkie just want hug"

"Pinkie" Dash tries to approach her. Gosh! She's turning green! "Pinkie, can you hear me? I…"

Her mind fogged by the pain, the change, and the anger, Pinkie can't hear what she's saying. All she hears is noise. And noise pisses the Hulk off!

"RAWRGH!" Pinkie-mere-seconds-away-of-becoming-the-Hulk roars and backhands Tony Dash away.

"Rainbow Dash!" Apple and Twilight cry in unison

"Ow… I think it's about time I put my helmet back on…" Dash says, dizzy

Twilight and Apple turn back to watch, in horror, as Pinkie's body begins to grow larger and green. With every little convulsion, Pinkie cries and roars, as the painful transformation keeps going, until the once small figure of Pinkie Banner had fully turned into the massive figure of the Hulk, much to her friends' astonishment.

"Holy sh…" Dash, with her helmet on, mumbles

"PINKIE SMASH!"

"It's amazing, Ethan!" Chess Roberts on the sky reports to the station "We have just caught the Hulk transforming on tape! The man who turned into the Hulk after what appeared to be a sexual assault attempt is, as of yet, unidentified. We still have no clue about what lead the Hulk to attack the city. Let's hope that the rest of Avengers can put a stop to their colleague's rampage. Back to you"

"Incredible" Trish Tilby says "Who would've thought that the Hulk would turn rogue so soon after defeating the alien armada that threatened our beloved city?"

"Honestly, it's not that surprising, Trish" Ethan Edwards says "The Hulk is a mindless beast prone to equally mindless destruction. He simply smashes anything he sees. And the first thing he saw was, of course, the nothing subtle attack of those particular alien troops in Manhattan. I mean, frankly, it's no wonder they failed. Coming all out? Spray-and-pray? Trying to show off and get as much attention as possible? That's not how you invade a planet! To be truly successful, an invasion must be subtle, secret. You must begin infiltration years in advance! Slowly putting agents on positions of power in the government, the military, and the media, so once they're all ready, a wave of panic, mistrust, and misinformation will be created to make the planet ready for seizing. And the stupid natives wouldn't even notice it was happening. Of course, I would never expect the Chitauri to be competent enough to pull off that perfect strategy for they lack the sophistication and finesse of the glorious Skrull Empire"

"Uh… what? The Skrull Empire? Chitauri? What are you talking about, Ethan?" Tilby asks

"Uh… Those are just two hypothetical alien races I made up on the spot to illustrate my point" Ethan answered "Yes, that's it. They're totally hypothetical, fake, made up, and not real. At all"

"Oh. Okay then" Tilby says "Just one thing, though: in this 'secret invasion' you proposed, how would the aliens be able to infiltrate among humans? I mean, they kinda stand out in a crowd"

"Oh, but you see, Trish" Ethan says with a smirk "The completely hypothetical aliens in question happen to know how to alter their form"

"Oh. You mean, like changelings?"

"NO!" Ethan yells "I mean like shape shifters! Changeling is a very derogatory term and I take offense in it! I mean… I would take offense in it if I was a shape shifter. Which I'm not… and neither is Kate Middleton"

"Sorry, I… wait… Kate Middleton?" Tilby says

"Exactly!" Ethan smirks "Impersonating a beautiful female of the dominant species so she can convince a prince to marry her and infiltrate local royalty is standard shape shifting invasion procedure. You always target monarchy first because, differently than other government models that experience only temporary leadership changing every other election, monarchic systems are long-lived and hereditary, so our infiltrated agents can have influence in the kingdom for eons, thanks to whatever cross-species offspring they have with the royal blood. It's also important to never directly try to impersonate the big leader, the Queen in this case, for whatever important decisions she makes will have everyone's attention and can compromise the whole mission. You need to infiltrate a 'lower tier' of the royal family so you'll have less influence and, therefore, less chances of being busted, but still enough insight on what's happening inside the palace. Of course, that's all hypothetical! Ha, ha! There is no such thing as shape shifters impersonating brides in royal weddings! Not in this planet, or any other planet, or even any other dimension! The whole idea is so absurd! The concept of shape shifters in itself is so ridiculous, impossible, and unreal! Like Bathtub Time Machines! That's how inexistent shape shifters are!"

"Wouldn't the Hulk technically count as a shape shifter?" Trish asks "I mean, he basically…"

"SHUT UP, HUMAN!"

WE ARE EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES

PLEASE STAND BY

"WHERE'S SHOCK GIRL? PINKIE SMASH SHOCK GIRL"

The Hulk begins to flip all the cars parked on the street, searching for 'shock girl'.

"Sweet mother of Celestia, what we're gonna do?" Apple asks out loud

"Whatever we do, we mustn't attack her until we have no other choice" Twilight says "We need to try to calm her down"

"But she's gonna destroy everything!" Apple insists "We need to stop her somehow!"

"We need to talk to her" Dash says, and with that, flies on Pinkie/Hulk's direction.

"Hey, Pinkie!" Dash says "You need to stop! Please!"

The Hulk looks at her. The Hulk then throws a car at her.

"WHOA!"

"Executing evasive maneuvers" Jarvis says, as the Iron Man armor swiftly moves away from the flying automobile which turns into a neat new wall adornment on the building behind Tony Dash.

"Pinkie, please! Stop!" Dash pleaded "This is not like you!"

"PINKIE NOT STUPID! PINKIE KNOW PINKIE NOT LIKE THIS!" Pinkie/Hulk roared "PINKIE WAS PINK, LITTLE, AND CONJUGATE VERBS CORRECTLY! NOW PINKIE GREEN AND BIG! NOW PINKIE SMASH!"

"Pinkie, please listen…"

"PINKIE GIVES NO FUCKS ABOUT FLYING TALKING RED CAN!" the Hulk roars again "PINKIE SMASHES CAN FOR RECYCLING!"

The Hulk grabs Dash by the leg, and smashes her in the ground.

"Ouch" Dash moans as she turns and sees, through her visor, the Hulk's foot read to crush her head "Whoa!"

Instinctively, Dash turns the repulsor thrusters on her boots on, flying away from the Hulk's stomp which cracks the asphalt. Dash turns back, hovering near the Hulk's face. She opens her faceplate.

"Pinkie, please, we're not your enemies. We're your friends! We're a team: Pinkie and Rainbow Dash, remember?"

"Rainbow Dash?" the Hulk asks, seemingly calmer

"Yes, Pinkie" Dash said, relieved for being recognized "It's m…"

"DASH RHYMES WITH SMASH!" the Hulk roars, and punches Tony Dash sending her flying through the air and into a building.

"Rainbow Dash! How dare ya?!" Apple yells and out of instinct, anger, impulse, and an 'I'm the only pony allowed to hit Rainbow Dash' attitude, she threw her shield at the Hulk.

"Applejack! No!" Twilight Odinson screams "We need to avoid conflict!" but the shield already hit the Hulk in the face and ricocheted back.

Wait a darn second! Why the hay did I throw the shield? SHIELDS AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE THROWN! Apple thinks to herself, before the shield bounces back, hitting her right in the face, causing her to lose some teeth and some consciousness.

…or that is what WOULD have happened, if she, by virtue of being in Steve Rogers' body, didn't have Super Soldier reflexes and didn't catch the shield right before it could hit her face, without even noticing it was coming back at her.

"Whoa…" Apple says, surprised at her own feat

"AJ THROW STUPID FRISBEE AT PINKIE!" the Hulk roars "NOW PINKIE SMASH AJ!"

"No! Pinkie, stop!" Twilight pleaded "Applejack didn't mean to…" but the Hulk wasn't listening, charging right towards Apple Rogers

Apple gasps and crouches, hiding behind her shield, scared. Just waiting for the fateful moment when she'll go from Applejack to apple sauce…

KLANG!

That's it. It's over. She's dead. Her only regret is not being able to say goodbye to her family and friends… Well, that and throwing her shield at the Hulk's face.

KLANG!

Wait, what? Again?

KLANG! KLANG!

Are those the bells of pony heaven or something?

KLANGKLANGKLANGKLANGKLANGKLANG….

Apple opens her eyes. She's still alive! She peeks over to see the Hulk relentlessly punching the shield over and over with no effect. This is a good shield, she thinks, this is a very, very, very, very good shield

"WHY PINKIE NO SMASH FRISBEE?" the Hulk roars "FRISBEE MAKING PINKIE FRUSTRATED! PINKIE ANGRY!"

"Ya don't say…" Apple says from behind the shield

"AAAARRRRGH!" with his eyes glowing green again, the Hulk stops punching the shield, and decides to grab it instead, with a single hand. Pulling it over in the air, with Apple being carried too, he throws shield and pony against a surprised Twilight.

"Ooof!" air escapes from Twilight's lungs as Apple and her shield collide with her.

"Ouch…" Apple moans and lifts herself up "Twilight, are ya alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine" Twilight says as Apple helps her stand up

They barely have time to recover when the Hulk breaks a fire hydrant off the sidewalk and throws it at Twilight's face, who staggers backwards. Before Apple can see if she's okay, the Hulk puts his feet over the pressured stream of water that came from the hole where the hydrant used to be, directing it towards Apple Rogers who's knocked back by the pressure.

Twilight looks at the barely conscious Apple Rogers. She touches her nose. It's bleeding. She's lucky she is in an Asgardian's body so that a nosebleed is the only injury she's sustaining. Had Pinkie thrown that hydrant at Applejack, who knows if she would have survived it? Pinkie is out of control. And she's dangerous. Really dangerous. Nick Fury said that they should avoid fighting her unless it was absolutely necessary. Well, Twilight supposes, it appears that that's the case.

"Ma'am… ma'am? Ms. Dash, please wake up"

Tony Dash wakes from her trauma induced stupor to see two young children, a boy and a girl, staring at her.

"Uh, what? What happened? Where am I?" Dash asks, sitting up

"You're in our room" the boy said

"You made a hole in the wall" the girl points

"Really? Did I fly through it?"

"You were punched through it, Ms. Dash" Jarvis said "Your encounter with the Hulk, I'm afraid, was less than amicable. I've already taken note of this family's residence information so Stark Industries can pay for the damages later on"

"Hey, you're Iron Man, right?" the little boy asks "The real one?"

"Uh… but of course!" Dash thanks Celestia that those kids can't see her bad poker face through the helmet "Who else would I be?"

"Told ya!" the girls tells the boy

"That's so cool!" the boy says "Mr. Iron Man, we are your biggest fans!"

"Oh, are you now?" Dash says, smiling

"Yeah! I have all your action figures!" the boy grabs some dolls (ACTION FIGURES!) from inside a toy chest and shows it to Dash "Look!"

"Ooh, nice!" Dash plays with one of the dolls (ACTION FIGURES!)

"I have a scrapbook" the girl shows a notebook full of news clippings of Iron Man. Dash looks at it, amazed. Wow, Stark really is loved around here.

"We made a drawing of you!" the boy says, holding a drawing of Iron Man fighting what looked like some kind of giant flying snake. Those kids have such imaginations Dash thinks, smiling Giant flying snakes… what's next? Bathtub Time Machines? "Hey! Do you think you could sign it for us?" the boy asks

"What? You mean, like an autograph? Sure" Dash grabs the drawing and a pencil "How are you two called?"

"My name is Louise" the girl says "But everybody calls me Lou"

"I'm Scott" the boy says

"Alright. 'To My Biggest Fans, Scott & Lou…'" Dash begins to sign the drawing

"Hello? Hello? How does this stupid thing works?" Apple's voice comes from the radio inside Dash's helmet "Rainbow Dash, can ya hear me? Where are ya?"

"Hey, Applejack" Dash answers her radio "Yes, I can hear you. I'm just signing some autographs"

"Signing autographs?!" Apple's next few curse words were muffed by radio static "I was dead worried that ya were hurt and yer signing autographs?!"

"Yeah, why? Is it a crime?" Dash asks annoyed "Besides, you shouldn't worry. I'm not hurt. Wait… I'm not hurt, am I?"

"A minor concussion" Jarvis answers "Nothing too severe"

"GET YA BUTT OVER HERE!" Apple yells "We need ya!"

"Fine! Fine!" Dash says and finishes her autograph "Sorry, kids! Gotta go" she flies away

"That was so awesome!" Lou says "The girls at school will never believe I met Iron Man!"

"Well, we have the autograph to prov… wait a minute!" Scott says "He signed 'Rainbow Dash'! And he misspelled our names as 'Scoot & Loo'!"

"Hmm" Lou mumbles, disappointed "…he's probably drunk"

"Yeah…" Scott sighs

Back at the streets of New York, Dash witnesses Twilight Odinson and Apple Rogers fighting the Hulkified Pinkie Banner.

"About time ya came back!" Apple yells, while dodging the Hulk's furious attacks

"What's going on?!" Dash asks "I thought we weren't supposed to attack her!"

"Yeah, well, the plan changed" Twilight, who was blocking one of the Hulk's punch with her arms, said (she was quite thrilled about discovering her new Asgardian strength, by the way. Made her feel more useful) "Dash, your armor has more firepower than us! You need to detain the Hulk before he causes more damage to the city!"

"But…"

"Now, Rainbow!" Twilight yells, while jumping and kicking the Hulk in the chin. The Hulk gives a few steps back, slightly disorientated

"PINKIE HATES TWI NOW!" the Hulk then roars "PINKIE WON'T INVITE TWI FOR PARTIES ANYMORE!"

Twilight dodges the Hulk's attack in the nick of time.

"Rainbow Dash!" Apple yells, urging her to do something

"Alright! Alright! What do I do?" as if answering her question, the plates of the armor open up revealing all sort of weapons, locked and loaded at the Hulk "What the…?"

"Arsenal ready. Target acquired" Jarvis informs "Waiting firing command"

"What are ya waitin' for?" Apple says "Shoot!"

"I… I… I can't" Dash says "That's Bruce… and that's Pinkie too! I can't bring myself to hurt them… any of them…"

"She's hurtin' us!" Apple yells "And she's gonna hurt a lot of other folks too if we don't stop her now!"

"We just need to calm her down…" Dash says "If we just talked to her…"

"We tried that!" Apple yells again

"THEN TRY HARDER!" Dash yells back "I'm not gonna attack her! She doesn't know what she's doing! There's gotta be a way to calm her… something… anything…"

"The way I see it, Ms. Dash" Jarvis says "You only have two courses of action available to you. You either attack the Hulk as your friends are urging you to or you back off, hoping that he would revert back to Bruce Banner soon. I would warn you though, that it can take hours for the Hulk to revert back to his normal state without interference, and, I'm afraid, the probabilities that there will be no interference of the military or others are microscopic. The Hulk then would probably run away and we wouldn't be able to localize him, at least not in time to pursue Loki. So, inaction, while favorable in your emotional perspective, could result in additional collateral damage and, very likely, in your friend waking up in some other country, not knowing how to come back or how to contact us. I can't decide for you, Ms. Dash. It's your choice"

Dash bites her lip. This is not a choice. This is torture.

Well, Dash, what are you going to do?

a) Attack your best old friend and best new friend wrapped in one, which will probably just piss her/him even more.

b) Nothing. Don't attack her/him. Let her/him go so she/he can destroy even more stuff, hurt even more people, and vanish into the horizon to get lost and never be seen again.

c) Chocolate

That's when it clicks.

"Chocolate!" Dash says, as if having an epiphany "Definitely chocolate!"

"I beg your pardon?" Jarvis says, as confused as a computer can be

"I pick C!" Dash said, smiling "Now, gimme some chocolate, Jarvis"

"Chocolate, ma'am?"

"It will calm her down, Jarvis" Dash explained "Please, trust me on this"

"The nearest chocolate store in your current location is the Lindt Chocolate Shop at 692 Fifth Avenue" Jarvis replies "I'll show you the directions"

"Alright! Let's go!" Dash says, as all the weapons go back inside the armor "Hang on, girls! I'll be back soon!" and she flew away

"WHAT?!" Apple yells, dumbfounded

"Where the hay is she going?" Twilight asks

The Hulk takes advantage of Twilight's distraction to hit her with a traffic light post.

Twilight gets a little dizzy. The post breaks in half.

"Hey!" Apple shouts and throws her shield at the Hulk's face (again)

"PINKIE HATES FRISBEE!" the Hulk roars "PINKIE MUST SMASH FRISBEE!"

"Come and get it then" Apple taunted, grabbing the bouncing shield back

The Hulk gets ready to punch her into the asphalt, but Apple dodges, jumping into and then running up the Hulk's arm, stepping on his face, and shield-bashing the back of his neck, before falling and rolling back in the ground.

Furious, the Hulk made a sound reminiscent of the Tasmanian Devil.

"Oh, keep it quiet, ya big oaf" Apple says "And while yer at it… Give us our friend back!"

The Hulk's answer comes in the form of a fist coming down on top of Apple, who blocks it with her shield.

With the Hulk unceasingly pounding the shield, Apple becomes trapped under it with nowhere she could possibly move.

He would keep going, but a traffic light box hits him in the head. Angrily, he turns around, and sees Twilight waving at him.

"Pinkie! Stop, please!" seeing that fighting it wasn't bringing any results, Twilight tries to reason with it again. It may be too late for that though "Look what you're doing! I know you're still in there somewhere… That there's still a part of you who despite of all this anger, all this rage, all this… whatever it is that turned you into this thing… I want to believe that there's still a part of you that can see that what you're doing is wrong…"

"PINKIE NOT WRONG! PINKIE RIGHT!" the Hulk steps forward, menacingly "MEANIES HURT PINKIE SO PINKIE HURT MEANIES!"

"I'm sorry we attacked you, Pinkie. We were just trying to defend ourselves" Twilight says and calmly puts her hands up "I ain't gonna hurt you anymore, see? No weapons, no 'Frisbees', nothing that I could use to attack you… I'm clean"

The Hulk stares down at Twilight "GOOD!" he says and then punches Twilight so hard that her body breaks the asphalt.

The Hulk is ready to give her another punch while she's still dazed, maybe to put her down for good, when he hears someone calling his 'other name'…

"Hey, Pinkie!" Tony Dash appears on the sky carrying a bag with her "Over here!"

The Hulk turns and roars "PINKIE NOT WANNA TALK! TALK BORING!"

"But Piiinkiiiieee…" Dash says with a teasing voice "I brought chocolate…"

Suddenly, the Hulk's expression changes and a huge smile appears on his face "CHOCOLATE?! PINKIE WANT CHOCOLATE! GIVE PINKIE CHOCOLATE!"

"Ok, but first you need to calm down…" Dash says

"CALM DOWN BORING! GIVE CHOCOLATE NOW!" the Hulk starts to get angry again "GIVE PINKIE CHOCOLATE OR PINKIE SMASH!"

"No, Pinkie! No smashing!" Dash says in a 'disapproving mother' tone "I won't give you chocolate unless you stop smashing"

"BUT PINKIE LIKES SMASHING! SMASHING FUN!" the Hulk protested "PINKIE SMASHES EVERYTHING! PINKIE DONE NOTHING BUT SMASH EVER SINCE PINKIE GOT HERE! PINKIE MAY HAVE ADDICTION PROBLEM!"

"Well, then we should do something about it, shouldn't we?" Dash says "That's why we're here, Pinkie. To help you stop smashing, so you can go back to being that sweet, fun pony we all know and love. Right, girls?"

Apple, who was helping Twilight stand up from the little hole in the asphalt, turns at Dash and says "What? Oh, yes. We just want our old Pinkie back"

"See?" Dash says

"PINKIE NO NEED INTERVENTION! PINKIE CAN QUIT WHENEVER SHE WANTS! FRIENDS SHOULD MIND OWN BUSINESS!"

The Hulk smashes a nearby parked car as if to emphasize his point "NOW GIVE PINKIE THE FREAKIN' CHOCOLATE"

"Pinkie, I'm very disappointed at you!" Dash says, reprovingly "You shouldn't treat your friends that way! We're just trying to help!"

"NO! REAL FRIENDS NOT ATTACK PINKIE! REAL FRIENDS GIVE PINKIE CHOCOLATE! YOU NO PINKIE FRIENDS! PINKIE HAS NO FRIENDS!" as soon as those words come out of his mouth, the Hulk stops. His shaggy hair falls down, straight, and his eyes begin to tear up "P-Pinkie… PINKIE HAS NO FRIENDS! BWAAAAAH! NOPONY LOVES PINKIE!" the Hulk sits down, and cries on his hands

The three friends exchange uncomfortable looks. Seeing that giant pile of muscles bawling his eyes out was heart breaking.

"Oh, Pinkie… Ya know that's not true" Apple says "We're yer friends. We love ya"

"Yeah" Twilight agreed

"NO! EVERYPONY HATES PINKIE!" the Hulk kept sobbing "EVERYPONY PINKIE MEETS RUN AWAY OR TRY TO HURT PINKIE! PINKIE WILL DIE LONELY AND UNLOVED!"

"Unloved? Pinkie, please!" Twilight says "Everypony, I repeat, everypony loves you. I don't think there's a single living pony who's as loved as you"

The Hulk didn't answer. His sobs, however, seemed to become quieter.

"Darn, Pinkie, you're breaking my heart" Dash said, opening her faceplate "Here, take the chocolate bag. It's yours"

"No! Pinkie no want chocolate anymore!" the Hulk turns his head away, then quickly turns back and puts the entire bag into his mouth. After swallowing it, he cries again "PINKIE ASHAMED! PINKIE SORRY PINKIE HURT FRIENDS! PINKIE LOVE FRIENDS! PINKIE PROMISE TO CHANGE!"

And she does.

To everypony's amazement, the Hulk begins to shrink, to change, slowly turning back to the fragile, and weary figure of Pinkie Banner.

Pinkie lifts her head, a sad and regretful expression on her face "Did… did Pinkie hurt friends?"

Apple, Twilight, and Dash all look at each other, a tired little smile on their faces "Yeah, but nothing Dashie, AJ, and Twi couldn't shake off" Dash says, winking at her

Pinkie gives a brief, little smile.

"Does Pinkie feel calmer now?" Apple asks, smiling

"Yes, much calmer" Pinkie smiles back

"And can Pinkie use pronouns again?" Twilight asks, raising an eyebrow and smiling

Pinkie giggles "Yes. Yes, she can" her still straight hair then puffs back to normal "I'm so happy we're friends again! C'mon, girls! Group hug time!"

Pinkie stands up, her arms engaged in 'Hug Mode'. Her pants, however, were unable to survive the strain of two Hulk transformations and dropped dead on the ground, revealing, for everypony to see, Pinkie's brand new gender-defining attribute.

Twilight and Apple blush. Dash closes her faceplate, points and screams.

"NOT A FINGER! NOT A FINGER! OH MY GOSH! IT'S STILL BIG AND GREEN!"

"What?" Pinkie asks, and then looks down "Oh, look! I have a penis!"

"You know what that is?" Dash asks, still mid-panic

Pinkie Banner raises an eyebrow and crosses her arms "Dashie, please. I wasn't born yesterday"

"Wait…" Twilight turns to Dash "That's the 'finger in the middle of our legs' that you told me about? You really didn't know what that was?"

"I… uh…" Dash began to blush, luckily they couldn't see it because of her helmet "…maybe?"

"Oh my gosh! Seriously?" Twilight said "Didn't your parents had 'The Talk' with you?"

"What parents?"

"Ooh, I'm feeling chilly" Pinkie rubbed her arms "Hey, look! It's shrinking!"

"I DON'T WANT TO LOOK!" Dash covered her eyes

"You've never seem a penis before, have you?" Twilight asks

"Have you?" Dash asks back

"Well, yeah… I mean, on my books… anatomy 101"

"I DON'T READ BOOKS!" Dash yelled "I especially don't read books about penis! Gross! What's wrong with this world? Why are… those things just dangling out of the body? Why aren't they kept inside like in normal, modest ponies?"

"Heh, heh, Dashie, you're so silly" Pinkie giggles

"AUGH! I SAW IT AGAIN!" Dash covered her helmet's eye openings with her hands

Twilight rolls her eyes "Rainbow Dash, I don't want to sound rude but grow up!" she then ripped her cape off her shoulders (hoping that Thor doesn't mind) and moved towards Pinkie "Here, Pinkie. Cover yourself with this"

Pinkie complies, wrapping herself with Thor's cape, while Dash, against her self-control and self-respect, took one last peek.

"Heh, heh. I'm feeling so regal!" Pinkie laughed

"This is just a provisory solution until we can find you some clothes" Twilight says

"Why do I need clothes?" Pinkie asks "I mean, yeah, I was feeling kinda chilly, but…"

"They wear clothes all the time here, Pinkie" Twilight explains

"Really?" Pinkie asks

"Yeah, I used to wonder why… now I know" Dash says

"Rarity would make a fortune here!" Pinkie says with a smile "Hey! I know! I bet Pepper has a lot of clothes back at her place!"

"Ya met Pepper?" Apple asks

"But of course! She was there when I… oh my gosh!" Pinkie gasps "Pepper! She was near me when I went green!"

"Is she hurt?" Twilight asked, worried

"I don't know!" Pinkie answered "I don't remember!"

"Jarvis! Is Pepper okay?" Dash asks him

"I… I'm afraid I don't know, Ms. Dash"

"What do you mean you don't know?" Dash replied "She's in the tower and you're basically the tower itself!"

"Whatever Loki did to my programming disabled me from being in two clients at the same time" Jarvis explains "When I downloaded myself into the suit, I was no longer in the Stark Tower mainframe. Until I find the error and fix it, I'm afraid I'll need to be physically uploaded back to the main server to run the Stark Tower again"

"And you only told me this now?" Dash asks "This is the kind of stuff we should know in advance! What if she's hurt?"

"I'm deeply sorry, Ms. Dash"

Jarvis was a very advanced computer, but he wasn't perfect.

Despite all his amazing advancements, he wasn't human. He still relied on protocols and commands, like any computer. If there wasn't a protocol for it, if nobody gave him an order, then there was nothing that he could, scratch that, there was nothing that he would do. That's why he didn't warn Stark about Stane when he paralyzed him and stole his Arc Reactor or why he never warned anyone about Mr. Stark's predicament while he struggled to reach the spare reactor, almost dying on the floor. Stark had only installed security protocols on his workshop area, and he never made a protocol for what to do in case he was about to die, since Tony, until that trip to Afghanistan, was always so sure of his own immortality.

Stark was never overly concerned with security, so, by consequence, neither was Jarvis.

But now, it's not Tony and his Devil-May-Care attitude that may be in jeopardy thanks to Jarvis' lack of protocol enforced oversight. It's Pepper…

Computers can't feel regret.

Jarvis can.

"Never mind, Jarvis" Dash sighs "I'll go see if Pepper's okay. Meet you girls in the Helicarrier"

"No, we'll meet you at the tower" Twilight says "We too want to see if Pepper's alright and we still need to get Pinkie some clothes. From there, we go to the Helicarrier together"

"Fine by me" Dash says "See you girls there" and with that she flew away.

"I hope Fury doesn't mind our little detour…" Twilight says to herself

At the Helicarrier's Medical Bay…

Clint is still staring at the ceiling. Clint is still afraid of going to sleep. Clint is still bored to death.

That's when he hears a soft little moan coming from Natasha's bed. She's waking up, Clint thinks, gets out of his bed, and pulls a chair to sit near Natasha.

"Hey, Tasha" Clint says "You're awake? How do you feel? You're feeling fine?"

Without opening her eyes, Natasha smiles softly and says "Yes, I'm feeling much better, thank you"

"You're welcome" Clint smiles "You need something? Water or…"

"Oh, no. You've done a lot for me already" Natasha says, her eyes still closed "I don't wanna be a bother…"

Clint raises an eyebrow Tasha doesn't talk like that then again, she went through a lot these last few days "Bother? Tasha, please, you know me. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you"

Natasha smiles again "I love you, Steve" she moans

"I'm sorry, what?!"

Natasha then opened her eyes, fully awake, her face turning red "Oh my. D-did I say that out loud? I-I didn't mean to…" she stops once she turns and sees Clint, her face turning pale and her pupils dilating.

"Uh, Tasha? Are you…"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…" Natasha screams, pushing Clint out of her way, and running out of the Bay.

"Ouch. Tasha, wait!" Clint says, but she was already gone

"…AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…" her screams could be heard throughout the corridors

What the hell is wrong with her? I've never thought I would see Tasha panicking before…

Clint moves toward the exit of the Bay, but before he can make it, Natasha appears past it again, running on the opposite direction, flailing her arms around.

"…AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…"

On the bridge, Nick Fury caresses his temples. This mess after mess shit is taking a toll on him.

"…aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…"

And all this screaming is not helping his headache!

"What the hell is going on in there?!" Nick Fury shouts, and goes inside the lower levels of the Helicarrier. Down there, he is presented with the sight of Natasha Romanoff running in panic, towards him

"…AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" Natasha stops on her tracks when she sees Fury "AH! A PIRATE!"

"What?!" Fury yells, as Natasha threw herself in the ground, cowering in fear

"P-please don't hurt me, Mr. Scary Pirate" Natasha stuttered

Fury looks inquiringly at Clint who has just arrived in the aisle, almost out of breath.

"She… she woke up like this, sir" Clint answered Fury's silent question, catching his breath.

Fury looked at Natasha again and asked "What's your name?"

"F-Fluttershy, Mr. Pirate, sir" said Fluttasha

"I'm not a pirate"

"So, she's one of them ponies now?" Clint says "How? She didn't touch the portal!"

"We'll have time to figure that out later" Fury says "Now, we need…"

"Director Fury, sir?" Maria Hill interrupted through the radio "Do you copy?"

"Yes, Hill. What is it?" Fury says

"I think we've just pinpointed Loki's location and direction"

"And?"

"You're not gonna like it, sir"

At the tower…

Dash was giving the now awake Pepper a glass of water, when Twilight, Apple, and Pinkie entered the room.

"Oh. There you are, girls" Dash greeted them

"Hey, Dash" Twilight greeted and then turned to Pepper "Are you okay, Pepper?"

"Yeah, I'm fine" Pepper smiled "I just a have a few bruises and a headache"

Pinkie feels guilty "I'm sorry, Pep…" she apologizes "I didn't mean to…"

"It's okay, Pinkie. Now I can get myself an 'I've survived the Hulk' T-Shirt" Pepper joked

Pinkie giggled

"Speaking of shirts" Twilight says "Do you have some clothes that we could use? Pinkie, well, you know…"

"Sure! Tony and I have plenty of spare shirts and pants on our room" Pepper gesticulated with her arm "Go ahead. Knock yourselves out! I'll stay here for a while"

"Thanks, Pep" Pinkie said as she, Twilight, Apple, and Dash moved towards the bedroom.

Before entering the room though, Twilight couldn't help but notice that the rift was gone. What could have happened to it? Well, it's probably better this way…

On the bedroom, Pinkie was rummaging through the piles of t-shirts on Pepper's drawers, had already put on the first pair of pants that was given to her (as Dash had begged her to do). Wow, Pepper had a lot of funny t-shirts. Each one nerdier than the other…

'I Lost an Electron''Are You Positive?'

3.14 Is But a Slice of Pi

Don't Let Gravity Bring You Down

C:/DOS C:/DOS/RUN RUN/DOS/RUN

Friction Is a Drag

Bromine Osmium Before Holmium Einsteinium

Physicists Do It With Charm

Pinkie finally finds one that she really likes. Even though she really liked the other ones too.

"Hey, what you girls think of this one?" Pinkie showed them the shirt

There are only 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary and those who don't

Twilight giggles. Apple and Dash tilt their heads confused.

"I don't get it" Dash says

"Me neither" Apple says

"It's actually quite clever, girls" Twilight begins to explain "You see…"

"The binary code is a numerical system consisting of rows of zeros and ones assigned in strings or 'bits' of eight binary digits" Pinkie said "Each combination of these strings can represent a letter, as regulated by the Equestrian Standard Code for Information Interchange, or a number in octal, decimal, or hexadecimal notation. In the joke in question, the number 10 actually translates to 02 in a binary-hexadecimal table, so the sentence actually reads that there are only two, not ten, types of ponies in the world: Those who understand binary, and therefore the joke, and those who don't"

Apple, Twilight, and Dash, stare at Pinkie, their jaws slacked with surprise.

"Pinkie?" Twilight says "How… how did you know all that?"

"The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma" Pinkie answered with an expressionless face. A few seconds later, she giggles "Heh, heh, milk"

"This is stupid!" Dash protested "What's the point of telling a joke that nopony understands?"

"It's not that nopony understands, Rainbow" Twilight says "It's only that a few ponies, those who are knowledgeable about the subject, get it. It's a niche joke"

"It's pedantic elitism!" Dash, who had a very good vocabulary for somepony who never read a book, said "I'll say it right now: People and ponies who make jokes that you can only understand if you know binary are nothing but stuck up idiots who think they're way more clever and funny than they really are. That's right! Whoever makes binary jokes is a stuck up idiot!"

Before Dash could continue fighting for the laughing rights of the less knowledgeable, Jarvis interrupts them.

"Director Fury of S.H.I.E.L.D. wishes to talk to you. Should I put him on?"

"Hey! Is that my conscience?" Pinkie asks, after hearing Jarvis for the first time

"Hey, Jarvis!" Twilight said "You're back at the Tower mainframe!"

"Yeah, he connected the armor back to the server while I waited for Pepper to wake up" Dash says "He says the glitches are fixed now. We'll take the call, Jarvis"

"Glad to see you're all mostly okay" Nick Fury appears on the bedroom's screen "We have some news for you bunch. First, I need you all to come back to the Helicarrier"

"But what about Pepper?" Twilight asks "Can we leave her here alone? I mean, we're not even sure if she's really okay…"

"You need not to worry, Ms. Sparkle" Jarvis says "I'm contacting Lieutenant Colonel James Rhodes. He will be arriving soon to keep Ms. Potts company"

"And who's that?" Apple asks

"Colonel Rhodes is a jet pilot and Aerospace engineer of the US Air Force, and former liaison of Stark Industries with the Sector of Weapons Development" Jarvis answered "He's also Mr. Stark's best friend"

"Oh, ok" Apple said "Ya could have saved us some time if ya started with that last part, don't ya think?"

"Huh. And here I thought Bruce was his best friend" Dash said

"So? He can't have more than one best friend?" Pinkie asked, and then hugged her friends "Why, I happen to have five!"

Somewhere, a Sitcom live audience just went 'D'aww'

Nick Fury frowns "Is there something about Dr. Banner you three aren't telling me?"

"Uh… I… I thought we had told you, but…" Twilight says

"He was swapped too, right?" Fury says

"WHAT?!" Clint's voice is heard on the background

"Yeah… meet Pinkie Pie" Twilight introduced her

"Hi!" Pinkie cheered "Hey! Are you a…"

"I'm not a fucking pirate!"

"Oh, okay… gee, sorry"

"The pirate doesn't like when we call him a pirate, Pinkie" Dash whispered to her

"But I was gonna ask him if he was a spy!" Pinkie replied

"Banner's a pony too?!" Clint says off screen "Shit! This means I'm next, doesn't it?"

"This brings me to one of the news I had for you" Fury ignores Clint "Agent Romanoff was, too, swapped with a pony. She's called Fluttershy. I take that you know her?"

"Fluttershy?! Yes, of course!" Twilight says "How is she?"

"She's fine" Fury says "She's back at the Medical Bay, drinking some tea for her nerves…"

"Hey! Who else is left in your group?" Clint chimed in "Who's gonna be swapped with me? Please, say is someone manly… or at least not too ladylike! Maybe someone with a gender neutral personality, yes? Yes?"

The four exchange glances before Dash begins to say "Well…"

"FUCK! I'm so fucked!"

"Get a hold of yourself, Barton!" Nick Fury pushes him out of the way, so he can talk to the friends again "Now, for the other news: We located Loki"

"Great!" Dash says

"No, not great" Fury says "Great would be if I had a capable team to deal with him. Great would be if he had never escaped to begin with. I used to have three geniuses on my team. Now, two of them were replaced with equine aliens of average intelligence and the third one is brainwashed and helping the enemy. Again"

"Hey! Whose intelligence you're calling average?" Dash yelled

"Oh, I know! I know!" Pinkie smiled "It's mine and Dashie's, right?"

"When you put things that way it does sound kinda bad…" Twilight mutters

"Oh, c'mon, guys! It's not that bad!" Pinkie says "You know what I always say: As long as there is ice cream, there is hope!"

"What… Pinkie, you never said that!" Twilight points out

"Well, I said it now!" Pinkie laughs and hops toward the kitchen "Don't worry girls, I'll bring us hope!"

"Anyway…" Fury says, after Pinkie left the room "We need you here more than ever. We must begin your briefing of the full situation ASAP"

"Alright, then" Twilight said "We'll be on our way"

"Good. Over and out" Fury said and the screen turned off

"Oh, no! We're out of hope!" Pinkie's voice came from the kitchen "Oh, wait. Nevermind. Found some hope behind the 'Frozen Fish Sticks' whatever that is"

Author's Note

Author's Notes (Please Read):

I apologize in advance for the delay the next chapter will most certainly have.

You see, the next chapter will be a little different... Rather than being about the Mane Six or The Avengers, the entire chapter will be centered around Certain Minor Characters that have no freakin' idea of what's going on, but will go to (relatively) great lenghs to find out.

So, since the chapter will be about an outside point of view of events yet to happen, first I need to map out said events, so I won't fuck up the fic's continuity.

This fic's summary is 100% true! I have no idea where I'm going with this! I only know who'll be swapped with who and a faint idea of how I want it to end. Everything else is pretty much done on the fly. So, now, for the first time ever on this fic, I'll have to plan many events ahead and in what order, making sure I won't add anything in the later "normal" chapters that contradicts what the next chapter will present.

It's gonna be a challenge, and it's gonna take a while, but I think it's gonna be worthy it.

See you there.

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