"Cross the Brooklyn bridge

To the place where the mortals live

Where they wear their hearts

On a sleeve of metal and stars

And I call them friends

Stand beside them right to the very end

And I feel at home"

Rainbow Bridge, Kirby Krackle

CHAPTER SEVEN

THORSE

"Angel! Come back here!" Spike yells to the unruly bunny "Don't make me come after you!"

Angel doesn't comply. He keeps running around the library, throwing books at Spike.

"Ow, quit it!"

"ANGEL! STOP THIS RIGHT NOW!" Fluttershy, who had just entered the library, shouts, but quickly goes back to her old coy self "I-I mean, if you don't mind… I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled at you… You're not angry, are you? Please, don't be angry"

The bunny just shrugs and happily hops towards her owner.

"Oh, Fluttershy, thank Celestia you're here!" Spike says, relieved "I don't know what I would do…"

"Is she back here?" Applejack asks, bursting through the door, making Fluttershy jump in the air

"Who?" Spike asks

"Twilight!" Applejack says "I can't find her anywhere"

"I don't know. I didn't know she had left. I was too busy taking care of Angel" Spike answers "As a matter of fact, I didn't know you left either. I thought you all were still in the basement"

"So, Stark isn't here either?" Fluttershy asks "I've found a mine. I wanted to ask him to check it out to see if it was what he wanted"

"Who cares if it is what he wanted?" Applejack says "I still don't know why we're doin' him any favors"

"FOR CELESTIA'S SAKE, STARK!" Twilight shouts as she enters the library "SHUT UP!"

"You know, as someone who has the pink motor mouth as a friend, I expected you to be more tolerant with talkative types" Rainbow Stark says, following Twilight "Especially, considering that love and tolerance seem to be the whole shtick of this place"

"Oh, I'm tolerating you" Twilight hisses "I'm tolerating you so hard right now…"

"Twilight!" Applejack says, hugging her friend "Are ya okay?"

"Uh, yeah... Yes, I am" Twilight says "Thank you for your concern"

"Oh, Twilight, I was so worried" Applejack says "I looked everywhere for ya"

"Did you try walking in a straight line? That's what I did" Stark provokes "Maybe you got distracted by pretty lights… That's why horses in my world have blinders. Maybe I should give you a pair for Christmas"

"Maybe I should give ya a kick in the teeth" Applejack replies, angry

"Bring it" Stark says "I'm not afraid to hit a girl"

"No problem" Applejack replies "Ya ain't gonna get a chance to land a hit on me"

"Doubtful, if your moves are as slow as your thought process…"

"Ya insulting my intelligence?"

"No. First you need to have intelligence for it to be insulted"

"That's it, Stark! Ya are goin' down!"

"I hope is not too hard to pick up fruit with a couple of ribs broken"

"STOP!" Fluttershy shouts with tears in her eyes "P-please... Stop fighting... please..."

"Look what you did" Stark said "You've upset Steve Irwin"

"WHAT I DID?!" Applejack yells, furious

"Shush!" Stark says "You're gonna make our baby cry again"

"Stark! Stop insulting my friends or I won't help you" Twilight says

"We've been through this before, Sparkle. You're in no position to negotiate" Stark simply says "Now, if you may excuse us, Roy Rogers, we have work to do"

"Ya are tryin' to get rid of me?"

"Well, you already brought my tools and you already saw Twilight. So, there's no reason for you to still be here" Stark says "Why don't you go back to the Clampett family farm, Elly May, get drunk with your hillbilly friends, and sing songs about how the South will rise again?"

"I… have no idea what any of that means, but I'm pretty sure it's an insult" Applejack says "And I'm not moving one hoof until I'm sure ya won't bother Twilight anymore!"

"Jesus, you're needy" Stark says "Ok, you can stay here with Hiccup and Toothless, while Gwen Tennyson and I go to the basement for magic science and stuff"

"I'm goin' down with you" Applejack insists, following them to the basement

"Sorry, this is the thinker's zone now. Where thinkers think" Rainbow Stark says, blocking the way from Applejack "Only ponies who know how to spell their own name allowed. Sorry" and with a smile Stark closed the basement's door on Applejack's face.

The room fell silent. Applejack stays immobile, staring at the door, without moving a muscle or making a sound, her back turned to the other occupants of the room. Fluttershy and Spike exchange concerned glances.

"A-applejack? Are you okay?" Fluttershy asks, unsure

"I CAN SPELL MY NAME!" Applejack explodes, scaring Fluttershy "It's A-P-L-E… No, wait. Darn it. It's A-P-P-E-L… ARGH! It's A-P-P-L-E-J-C… FUUUUU…"

Down in the basement, Twilight addresses Stark "Okay, Stark, let's get over with this. What do you need my help for?"

"Well, you remember our little portal-laser-device-thingy, right?"

"Yes…?"

"Well, you remember it didn't work?"

"Cut to the chase, Stark" Twilight says, impatient

"Well, I know what went wrong" Stark says "Science won't work. We need your magic abilities for this"

"Okay, so what do I do?"

"You do the same thing that the laser did, except you'll be using your horn beam of fun, sunshine and happiness to power up the gems"

"That's it?!" Twilight asks, angry

"Simple, isn't it?" Stark replies "I didn't even need to use GameShark"

"You just want me to shoot a beam?!" Twilight says, outraged "You said you knew nothing about magic. You said that you were stuck. You said you needed my intellectual help!"

"No, I said I needed what's in your head" Stark says, tapping Twilight's horn "So, when can you start?"

"You're not asking for my help! You're using me! You just think of me as a tool!" Twilight yells

"A very useful tool"

"A Tool?!" Twilight insists "Is that all I mean to you?"

"What the hell? 'All you mean to me'?" Stark says "You want the divorce? Did I take the magic out of our relationship? Goddamn it, Sparkle. We're not a couple. We're not even friends. We're just two guys after the same thing! It's very simple: You fart your magic shit on the gems and we all get what we want. Now, I'm sorry if this all seems like a banal use of your amazing abilities and you would rather be cracking the Da Vinci code or something, but could you swallow your pride for one day in your miserable life and do something useful without complaining for once?"

"You know nothing about me!" Twilight yells

"And I don't want to!" Stark yells back "We're very close to never have to see each other again, so, please, Gandalf, JUST DO IT!"

Twilight scowls at him "This better work"

"Tell you what, Charlie" Stark says "If this doesn't work, me and the pink one will take you to the Candy Mountain Cave for consolation. We promise you we won't steal your kidney. What do you say?"

"The same thing I said before: shut up!"

"Okay, then"

Twilight closes her eyes and concentrates. She wants Rainbow Dash back. She wants Stark OUT! She puts every single drop of strength, of rage, of her body into this. Her horn glows and glows, until it finally shoots an enormous beam towards all the Elements.

"Whoa!" Stark says "We want to energize them, not to vaporize them!"

"They seem pretty energized to me" Twilight says

And they were. The Element of Loyalty was bright and pulsing.

"Gotta hand it to you, Kristen Stewart" Stark says, patting Twilight in the back "Good job"

But then, the Element of Loyalty shot the beam back towards all the elements, until it finally reached the Element of Magic. "I take that back" Stark says "You suck"

Before Twilight has a chance to frown at Stark, the Element of Magic shots the beam back into her face, knocking her to the other side of the basement, unconscious. Rainbow Stark laughs out loud "I'm sorry! Sorry. You had to see the look on your face. Do you still have a face?" he asks, approaching her inanimate body.

"Hey, Stephenie Meyer, are you alright?" he asks again "I don't want to deal with a dead unicorn. It's bad luck"

Twilight shakes her head gently, dissipating the fogginess of her mind. She sees Rainbow Stark staring at her, and she looks slightly suspicious and confused "Hey, Rod Serling, I'm glad you're okay" Before Stark could continue, Twilight leaps and immobilizes Stark on the floor, holding his hoof against his back.

"Stand down, your demonic creature, or feel the wrath of…" Twilight stops, as if she was shocked by the sound of her own voice.

"Okay… I only know one guy who talks like that" Stark says, his face still pressed against the floor "Thor?"

"How do you know my name, talking horse?" Twilight asks, still holding Stark's hoof against his back

"Look who's talking" Stark answers

Thor Sparkle looks at his hands or, better yet, his hooves "I'M A HORSE!"

"Yes, you are" Stark says, finally free from Thor's grip "And to answer your first question: It's me, Tony. Welcome to hell, buddy"

"Stark?" Thor says "What kind of sorcery is this?"

"Beats me" Stark answers "But I'm trying to reverse it"

"So were Banner and Selvig" said Thor

"We did great, didn't we?" Stark asks, sarcastically

"Where are we?"

"Hell, Neverland, the mind of a little girl high on acid, I don't know" Stark says "Here, they call it Equestria"

"Equestria?"

"Yeah, everyone, sorry, everypony here is a horse and they live happily forever in their gardens full of color and rivers made of chocolate"

"So, there's a tenth realm we were unaware of? Incredible" Thor says "Although I was hoping this was a jest"

"You and I both, buddy" Stark says "So, how's things back home?"

"There's someone who calls itself Rainbow Dash occupying your body now"

"Yeah, that's who I am now" Stark says, spreading his arms "Apparently, I'm a mix between Usain Bolt and a weatherman. And you're Twilight Sparkle. Her life story can be abridged by playing Supertramp's The Logical Song backwards"

"I'm not sure I understand"

"Don't worry, buddy" Stark says "We just need to find another source of magic so we can go back… You don't happen to know how to use that, do you?" Stark points at Thor's horn

"I… I don't think so"

"It's okay. I don't know how to use these either" Stark shows his wings "Well, we better break the news to the others"

"Others?"

Stark opens the basement door to find Applejack, Fluttershy and Spike waiting "Well, I've got good news and…"

"A-P-P-L-E-J-A-C-K!" Applejack shouts at Stark

"What?"

"I can spell my name!"

"Good job. You want a sticker?" Stark replies completely deadpan "As I was saying I have good news. The machine worked"

"What machine?" Fluttershy asks

"If the machine worked" Applejack says "Why ya are not Rainbow Dash?"

"Well, that's the bad news" Stark says "Instead of bringing Rainbow Dash in, it sent someone else out"

"What…" Applejack says, before realization struck her "TWILIGHT! What ya did to her?" she presses Stark against the floor.

"What is this? Pin Stark Down in the Ground Day?" Stark says "Do you mind if I stay on top?"

"What ya did to her?" Applejack insists

"She's fine" Stark answers "Unless Thor was flying when the switch happened, of course"

"Thor?"

"Yeah, isn't this exciting?" Stark says, pressing his cheeks together and mocking a cute voice "You got to meet a new friend! You love meeting new friends, don't you? Yes, you do"

Applejack turns her head to see Thor Sparkle coming out of the basement "Twilight? Please, tell me he's lying… Tell me ya are still ya…"

Thor gives in a sad look "I'm deeply sorry, orange pony"

Applejack sheds a tear "Why? Why is this happening?" she cries

"Okay, now I'm feeling uncomfortable" Stark says, crawling away from the crying pony

Applejack paid him no mind, and kept sobbing in her hooves

"Maybe we should introduce you" Stark tells Thor "Jackasses, gecko. This is Thor. Thor, these are Lumberjack, Ace Ventura, and Puff, the Magic Dragon"

"MY NAME IS SPIKE!" Spike yells

"You know, for a dragon, you don't have a very thick skin" Stark says "Besides, you should consider yourselves lucky that your friend got replaced by Thor. If it was his brother, you all would be in serious danger of being molested right now"

"Stark!" Thor shouts "I told you, the Midgardian account of the origins of Sleipnir is grossly innacurate"

"Yeah, right" Stark says "Anything to preserve the family honor, right?"

"IS EVERYTHING A JOKE TO YA?" Applejack shouts, her eyes still wet

Stark laughs "You know, I just noticed you have your pony tail on a ponytail…"

"Two of my best friends are gone, and ya just keeping make jokes! Don't ya see how awful this is?" Applejack yells "Of course, ya don't! Ya don't have anypony that ya care about but ya' self"

"YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ME!" Stark shouts, startling the ponies

"My friends, this is no time for fighting" Thor chimes in "We need to focus on the ordeal at hand"

"Princess Bride is right. We need another horny pony" Stark says "Where's Scarcity?"

"Rarity is still working on your stupid suit" Applejack said with contempt

"Oh, yeah, the contingency plan" Stark says "We may need that, now"

"About that" Fluttershy says "I've found a mine. Could you…"

"Not now, Horse Whisperer" Stark says "We need to talk to Equestrian Dior. Come with me, Thor"

"I'm coming with ya" Applejack says

"Do I need to fill out a restraining order against you?" Stark asks

"Listen, Stark, I don't trust ya" Applejack says "The last time you were alone with Twilight you sent her to 'I-don't-even-know-where'. I'm not gonna let this happen to Rarity. I'm coming with ya, whether ya like it or not"

"Pfft. Whatever. Just don't hold us back"

A few minutes later, Rainbow Stark, Applejack, and Thor Sparkle were on the doorstep of Rarity's home/store. "Before we enter, Thor, I want you to be careful" Stark says "Rarity doesn't seem dangerous, but she sells clothes in a place where everyone walks around naked, so she's either crazy or stupid"

Applejack frowns at Stark

"Do you know any other facial expressions?" Stark asks her, before entering "Hey, Edna Mode! Where's my super-suit?"

Rarity turns her head to meet her friends "Oh, hi, Stark. Twilight! Applejack! I'm glad you came too!"

Applejack looks sad "I'm afraid that's not Twilight, Rarity"

"What do you mean?"

"She means like I'm also not the pony version of Speed Racer" Stark says "We had another body swap"

"Oh, dear… So, Twilight is…"

"Meet Thor" said Stark "Thor, this is Rarity"

"Enchanted to meet you, Lady Rarity" Thor Sparkle holds and kisses Rarity's hoof

"Lady?" Rarity says, blushing "Oh, my. How gallant"

"Ya could learn a few things from him" Applejack tells Stark

"Meh. I have fame, looks, brains and money. I don't need manners" Stark says "Besides, Thor's a prince. That's how they act"

"He's a prince?!" Rarity asks "Darn! Why did you have to be Twilight? Why couldn't you be a stallion?"

"I'm sorry" Thor said, not exactly sure what he's apologizing for

"Ahem!" Stark coughs "My suit?"

"Oh, right" Rarity says, grabbing a piece of paper from her table "I worked on it all day. You're gonna love it. It's simply divine"

Divine? Stark's not sure if he likes where this is going.

Stark takes the paper and looks over it "Okay, it's good… Just a few questions"

"Yes?"

"What's the deal with the hat?"

"It's marvelous, isn't it?"

"Yeah, sure, but you see" Stark tries to explain "This is a high speed flight suit. The hat would be lost the very first…"

"We'll just add a cord" Rarity interrupts

"Okay…" Stark says, rubbing the back of his neck "and the cape?"

"Capes are in this season, darling"

"But, you're Edna Mode!" Stark says "You shouldn't like capes!"

"Who's Edna Mode?" Rarity asks

"It's just a character from The Incredibles" Stark says "You'd like that movie, by the way. There's a character named Dash on it. Okay, let me see… I'm strangely okay with the turquoise ornaments, but why did you change the red/gold pattern for purple/white?"

"The red and yellow were clashing with the hat and cape" Rarity answers "Purple and white make a much better match"

"I see…"

"You didn't like it…" Rarity says, a disappointed tone on her voice

"No, no, I loved it" Stark says "You did a good job, Harriet"

"It's Rarity"

"What did I say?" Stark replies, rolling the paper and putting it in a bag he was carrying "Anyway, this wasn't the only reason we came here. We would like to know if you could follow us back to the library to power up my machine with your magic"

"Couldn't Twilight, sorry, Thor do that?" Rarity asks

"Thor can't do magic" Stark says

"Maybe he can" Applejack says "He's in Twilight's body; he has Twilight's horn and her magic abilities too. If he puts his heart into it, he can do it"

"You hear that, Thor?" Stark says "If you believe really hard and clap your hands really fast, the magic fairies will drop pixie dust and…"

"STARK!" Applejack yells "You're not helping!"

"Fine, fine" Stark said "Okay, Thor, let's give it a shot"

Thor Sparkle closes his eyes and concentrates. My friends are counting on me. I must not fail them. He sweats. He concentrates harder and harder and harder and harder and…

FART!

Thor, Applejack and Rarity blush, while Stark tries his best not to laugh "Damn, Thor! What did you eat? Or should I ask what Twilight ate?"

"A thousand apologies, fair lady" Thor Sparkle lowers his head in reverence to Rarity, which happens to heighten his butt in Applejack's direction, who turns her head away, trying not to breathe "A delicate damsel like you shouldn't be submitted to such treatment. I have never been so ashamed"

"It's okay, darling" Rarity says, waving her hoof to dissipate the smell "It happens to the best of us"

"See? That's all the 'magic' he can do. And it stinks. Literally" Stark says "Will you follow us now?"

"Oh, dear" Rarity sighs "Look, Stark, I only ever use my magic for practical uses, like sewing, grabbing objects, and detecting gems. I don't know how to do fancy spells like Twilight does"

"We understand, Rarity" Applejack says

"Besides, I worked on this design all day. I'm exhausted" Rarity says "And it's almost time for my beauty sleep too"

"Yeah, looks are important" Stark says "I never had a beauty sleep, but then again, I never had to work hard to look decent"

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?" Rarity says, offended

"Nothing. Bye"

"Farewell, Lady Rarity"

"Honestly" Applejack said to Stark once they were outside "Are ya tryin' to make everypony hate ya?"

"Rest assured, Jack of Apples" Thor said "The Man of Iron may be aggravating sometimes, but he has the best intentions in his heart"

"Yep. I'm a little cutesy flower at heart" Stark mocked with a wry smile

"I believe the 'aggravating' part" Applejack replies "Why did ya call him 'Man of Iron'?"

"It's because I eat a lot of red meat" Stark quips "Anyway, do you know any other pony who can pull a rabbit out of a hat or something?"

"A rabbit out of a hat?" Thor says, confused "I don't understand…"

"He's mocking magic" Applejack explains, frowning at Stark "Pullin' a rabbit out a hat is not real magic, just a stage trick…" Applejack pauses, suddenly remembering something "Actually, I do know a pony that can pull a rabbit out of a hat…"

"Great!" Stark says "Take us to her. I say her because I'm starting to doubt the existence of male ponies around here…"

"What? Now?" Applejack says "Do ya have any idea how late it is? Rarity is right. We should be going to bed"

"Einstein only slept three hours a year" Stark says

"I don't know who 'Eye Stain' is…"

"Someone who's more intelligent than you"

"That doesn't mean much" Applejack replies before realizing what she just said, much to Stark's amusement "Wait! No! I mean…"

"Listen, Applejack" Stark says "I know I've been less than cordial with you and your friends, and it's obvious how much you care about them. I respect that. I really do. From the very moment you found out your friend was gone, you acted hostile towards me. I don't begrudge you for that. I understand. You want your friend back and you're pissed because some jackass replaced her and is using her body to be a jerk. The way you almost broke down when you found out Twilight was replaced too really touched me. I mean it. I never had the pleasure to meet Rainbow Dash but, as far as I'm concerned, you're the biggest contestant to the title of Element of Loyalty I've ever met"

"Oh… wow" Applejack mumbles, surprised by Stark's unexpected niceness "Stark, I… I don't know what to say…"

"Don't say anything" Rainbow Stark continues "You may not be the sharpest tool in the shed but you're definitely the most reliable. You probably had the opportunity to get a higher education, but you gave it up to stay with your family and help them. That takes balls and, most importantly, devotion. Lots of people sorely lack both. Doing something like you did builds character. And muscle, if your physique is anything to go by. Anyway, I know it's late and you're probably tired, but the sooner we find someone who can magically power up those gems, the sooner we'll get your friends back. We must do it for those we care about, just like you always did. Just like you'll always do. Besides, just us going for a stroll under the moonlight isn't that bad now, is it?" Stark finishes with a wink.

Applejack just froze. Without thinking, she closed her eyes and started to lean forward, her lips barely open. Once she realized what she was doing, she stops and covers her mouth with her hoof, blushing "Oh my gosh! I-I was about to…"

"Yep" Stark says with a cocky smile

"But… I didn't… I mean… I wouldn't… I… What?!" Applejack mumbled

"It's the good ol' Tony Stark charm. Never fails" Stark says "I could convince my worst enemy to sleep with me in less than three minutes. Tell the truth, even I get scared by how effective it is. Don't worry though, I won't make any advances on you. I already have a girlfriend and I'm not into horses. That's Loki's department"

"STARK!" Thor shouts

"Anyway" Stark ignores Thor "Now, that I've made you 87% less mad at me. Could you take us to the Mystery Mare?"

"Okay, I'll do it" Applejack sighs "But let me warn ya, no matter what she says, she's NOT all that great and powerful"

Back at the library, Fluttershy asks Spike "Do you think they're gonna be back soon?"

"I'm not sure" Spike says, ready to take the garbage out "Do you still want to wait?"

"Yeah, I think it's better…"

"Your choice" Spike says as he leaves the library and puts the garbage bag in the bin. As he turns towards the library, he suddenly feels like something is missing.

He takes a few seconds to realize what "Discord! Where is he? He was right here! We need to warn the Princess…"

Wait, he thinks, There doesn't seem to be anything wrong… No chocolate rain… No houses of cards… No ballet dancing buffalos… No chaos anywhere… If Discord really escaped, there should be chaos. Maybe he didn't escape. Maybe the Princess sent somepony over to retrieve him when nopony was looking…

"Hmm… Efficient service" Spike says to himself as he goes back to the library, completely carefree.

Back to the mismatched trio, Applejack, Rainbow Stark, and Thor Sparkle walked for miles until arriving to a poorly put together wagon parked in the shoulder of the road "Before we knock" Applejack says "Ya better remember that Trixie and us don't have a very friendly history…"

"Oh, this is gonna be fun" Stark simply says as he knocks hard on the door

"Who dares to interrupt my great and powerful slumber?" Trixie shouts, opening the door to see the three ponies staring at her "Oh, if it isn't Toilet Sparkle with her two whiny friends, Rainbow Rash and Applejerk"

"Rainbow Rash... I like that. It has alliterative appeal" Rainbow Stark says "Plus, it sounds like the name of an STD"

"What do you want?" Trixie continues "Destroying my wagon in Ponyville wasn't enough and you want to see what else you can take away from me?"

"Like you sit in the public Toilet Sparkle for an Applejerk-off and BAM! You got Rainbow Rash!" Stark keeps musing to himself

"Hey!" Applejack chimes in "Maybe ya still would have ya wagon if ya wasn't showing off and—"

"Oh, my! I was showing off?" Trixie interrupts "NEWSFLASH, your imbecile! I'm a performer! That's what we do! We exaggerate! We boast! We try to get attention! It's called SHOW BUSINESS for a reason!"

Applejack takes a step back surprised by Trixie's outburst "I like this one" Stark smirks

"But…" Applejack says "Ya were trying to humiliate us!"

"I'm sorry, but who were talking smack in the first place trying to disrupt my business? It was you and that stupid dragon! Because Celestia forgive somepony dares to say to be better than us! You two are so petty! Besides, magicians and hypnotists always humiliate a volunteer for the rest of the audience. It's part of the act"

"Petty? Me?" Applejack asks, dumbfounded

"Yeah!" Trixie says "I guess your blue friend here is the only pony allowed to think highly of herself in that entire stinky city! Enjoy your days of friendship, Rainbow Dash, because I bet that when the ponies start to pay more attention to you than to them, you're so-called friends will try to bring you down too"

"Actually, I'm not…" Stark tries to say

"I mean, I was just doing my livelihood when you had to burst my bubble!" Trixie continues her rant, cutting Stark off "How would you like if your stupid little sister was doing some parlor tricks to her friends and I came along and showed everypony were she was hiding the real card? Showing everypony how much of a freaking fraud she is? When all she wanted to do was entertain her friends and, I don't know, maybe boost up her self-esteem a little bit? Would you like that? WOULD YOU LIKE THAT?" Trixie's eyes were wet with tears of anger "Did you even punish those two brats who brought the Ursa Minor to the city? Or I was the only victim in that whole farce?"

"Uh… no… we did… I…" Applejack didn't know what to say. She didn't expect Trixie to react so strongly "maybetheydidn'tliketheirmustaches" she mumbles

"Excuse me, Lady of Tricks" Thor chimes in with a reverence "I must humbly request you to forgive any past feuds you may have with the previous occupants of these bodies and assist us in a mission of the most importance"

"Uh… what?" Trixie asks Thor, confused

"Here's the thing, Trixie Tang" Stark butted in "We are in the middle of a magic blunder, Cosmo is having her beauty sleep and Wanda changed bodies with Jorgen Von Strangle. So you are our only option to clean up this mess"

"Once again: what?"

"Do it for Timmy Turner!" Stark insists

"Time Turner? We only dated once!"

Applejack sighs "Listen, Trixie. These aren't Twilight and Rainbow Dash. It's hard to explain right now, but they changed bodies with somepony else and we don't know where they are. Ya 're the best alternative we got right now to have 'em back"

"Really?" Trixie says suspicious at first, but slowly a huge grin start to appear on her face "YES! Ha Ha Ha! Payback is an itch, huh? Who's laughing now? The great and powerful Trixie, that's who!"

"The great and powerful Trixie? Really?" Stark chuckles "Okay, seriously, where's the man behind the curtain?"

"What?" Trixie says

"Man behind a curtain? I don't understand" Thor says

"Me neither" Applejack agrees

"Steve would" Tony frowns

"Now that you learned the circumstances of our most troubling situation" Thor addresses Trixie "Would you grant us your assistance?"

"Uh, let me think… NO!" she shouts and closes the door in their faces

"This… is a very rude horse" Thor says

Applejack sighs "Let's go home…"

"Not without James Franco" Stark says

"Trixie won't help us, Stark" Applejack says "It's useless"

"I've created an element from random crap in my basement when Jarvis himself told me it was impossible" Stark replies "So, I'm not gonna give up just because a stupid pony is mad at you for not letting her play in your sandbox. I know how to handle this type of people… ponies. Just let me talk with her"

Applejack looks at Stark for a few seconds before nodding "Okay, if ya say so. Use ya charm" Stark smiles

Knock, knock!

"What?" Trixie answers the door to see Stark alone on the doorstep "Go away!" she begins to close the door, but Stark grabs it.

"Look, Gilderoy Lockhart, I know we started off with the wrong foot" Stark says, pushing his way inside Trixie's wagon "But I believe that if you help us it would be beneficial for 'everypony', including you"

"Look, Rainbow…"

"It's Stark, actually. Tony Stark" Stark corrects

"Stark, I'm sorry you got involved in this mess" Trixie says "But there's absolutely no way that I'm gonna help that purple mule, regardless if she isn't 'she'. So spare both our time and patience, because you ain't gonna convince me otherwise"

"If I understand correctly, Twilight managed to do a trick that you said you could do, but couldn't, which resulted in the destruction of your home, reputation, and dignity. That's why you're so upset, right?" Stark says

Trixie shots Stark an angry look "You. Leave. NOW!"

"Wait, wait, let me finish" Stark says "Twilight isn't here. She's in another dimension with no way to go back. Helpless. Unless you do something"

Trixie chuckles "And here I thought you were trying to change my mind…"

"I am" Stark continues "Think about it: If you help us, and you succeed in bringing her back home, she will be in eternal debt with you"

Trixie stops to think. Still feigning disinterest, she simply says "Go on…"

"Can you imagine?" Stark continues "The mighty Twilight Sparkle is now a buffoon who can only cast spells with her rear end. Or, at least, that's how she looks to everypony else who still believes she is she. And from the horizon comes the once chastised Trixie, ready to save the day, to triumph where Sparkle failed. To show everypony that, in that moment, you are the Great and Powerful Trixie, the most skilled spell-caster in all of Ponyville!"

Trixie just looks at Stark, showing no reaction "Promise me an audience" she says

"All of Ponyville will be watching"

"Then, Mr. Stark" Trixie says with a smirk "You got yourself a deal"

While that was happening, Thor Sparkle and Applejack were outside. Thor looks at the stars, a sad expression on his face.

"Is something wrong?" Applejack asks

"I dreaded the time this would happen again" Thor says "I never expected it to be so soon…"

"What happened again?" Applejack asks, curious

"Have you ever felt powerless, Jack of Apples? Have you ever been forced away from home?"

"Can't say that I did"

"I was a mighty prince. A fearsome warrior. And a petulant, foolish child" Thor tells her "One short-sighted act of arrogance of mine endangered my friends and my kingdom. I didn't see it that away. I thought I was on the right. I paid no mind to the consequences my act had unleashed. I challenged my father. Insulted him. I was deemed unworthy. Of my title. Of my kingdom. Of my friends. Of my family. And of my power. So, I was banished. Exiled away, far away from home, to never come back unless I learned my lesson. Alone in another world with no means to go back, powerless. Just like now. Except that I don't know if Heimdal can see me, if Father knows I'm here. More than before, I feel more powerless than ever"

Applejack smiles at him "Let me tell ya what I see: I don't see somepony who's petulant or arrogant, I see somepony who's gentle, chivalrous, and loyal. I see somepony who's learned his lesson. I see somepony who's worthy. I don't understand much of how the world works, but I believe there's a deeper meaning and purpose for everything that happens and that purpose is good. You will be back, Thor. To your family. To your kingdom. To your friends. Because you're worthy of them. If you don't have faith in that, have faith in your friend. With all his sweet-talk and smartness, he will take you out of here faster than a scalded cat"

"I appreciate your kind words of encouragement, noble apple harvester" Thor smiles softly "But we're dependant on the Lady of Tricks, and she does not seem very likely to help us…"

In that instant, the wagon doors open, as Trixie and Rainbow Stark step outside

"In her infinite compassion, the Great and Powerful Trixie decided to help you, peasants" Trixie declares with a solemn face.

Applejack frowns, but Thor beams and holds Trixie in a tight hug, leaving her disconcerted "Thank you! Thank you so much!" he soon realizes she's feeling uncomfortable and releases the grip "I apologize. What I meant to say is that I'm delighted you'll be joining us in our quest, clement Lady of Tricks" he grabs Trixie's hoof and kisses it.

"Seriously, Thor. You need to stop doing that" Stark says "Sooner or later, someone is gonna sue you for sexual harassment. Believe me, I know"

Trixie, however, seemed to be really enjoying the treatment "Why do you want Twilight back, again?"

"Trixie!" Applejack yells

"Ok, Ok, I'll honor the deal"

As they begin their journey back, Applejack approaches Stark "Listen, Stark… About what Trixie said earlier…"

"You want to tell me your side of the events, because the way she told her story made it sound like you and your friends are a bunch of assholes and you want to assure me you're not" Stark completes her sentence "Don't worry. Pinkie already told me this story this morning. I didn't believe her then because of all the random crap she babbled about makes it difficult to distinguish fact from fantasy but, if what she told me is true, you guys had every right to be mad. Sure, you may have overreacted a little bit, or maybe not, but she was the one who started to talk shit, she was the one who downright challenged you, and she was the one who decided to play victim because her bullshit was thrown back into her face. Believe me, I know the type. Maybe she didn't deserve all that, maybe she also has the right to be mad. But, is clear she didn't learn anything. Humiliation is supposed to humble. She needs to be a little more modest"

Applejack smirks "Well, thanks for understanding, but ya could take ya own advice now, couldn't ya?"

"You want me to be modest? Why should I be modest? I have no reasons to be modest!" Stark says "She needs to be modest because she's not as good as she says. I am! I'm awesome, handsome, brilliant, and incredible. You want me to say I'm not? You want me to lie? Aren't you supposed to be the Element of Honesty? Shame on you!"

Applejack shots him an annoyed look "Ya know, Stark? I think I'm starting to hate ya again"

"I get that a lot" Stark says, indifferent "You want me to use my charm again? Better yet, just remember it! That tender moment we had. I bet you'll have that memory forever, to warm you in those cold, lonely nights"

Applejack blushes and then frowns "Scratch that. I already hate ya!"

"Yeah" Stark chuckled "Keep telling yourself that, Pepper Jr."

Before long, they arrived at the library.

"Finally, you're here!" Spike greets them "We were beginning to get worried and… Hey, what she's doing here?" Spike points at Trixie, irritated

"Didn't miss you either, gem licker" Trixie replies

"The Lady of Tricks will help solve our tribulation" Thor answers

"Yeah, we tried Rarity first, but she said she was tired and mediocre. At least that was what I understood" Stark says, pulling the design out of his bag "She draws really nice, though. Taking these stupid fashion frivolities out, I'm ready to forge my pony armor as soon as I get my hands into the necessary materials"

"Yeah… about that…" Fluttershy says "I've found a mine and I was wondering…"

"SURPRISE!" Pinkie appears out of nowhere with confetti, balloons and a banner saying 'HAPPY SEND THEM BACK TO HOME PORTAL STUFF THINGY' suddenly covering the entire library.

"HOLY SHIT!" Stark screams almost having a heart attack "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?"

"It's a…

Happy Send Them Back To Home Portal Stuff Thingy

Everything's Gonna Be Back To Normal In A Wink-Winky

Take It From Tony

He Doesn't Like Being A Pony

He Thinks We're Stinky

How About We Prove Him Wrong?

Let's Party With Pinkie!" Pinkie finishes her song by blowing a party whistle on Stark's face

"I… What… How…" Stark mumbles, trying to catch his breath "W-where did you come from?"

"I was here all evening, silly" Pinkie answers "I've been arranging the party ever since you, Twilight, and Applejack left"

"You were?" Spike asks "How come we didn't see you?"

"Because I wanted it to be a surprise" Pinkie says "SURPRISE!"

"That… doesn't explain anything" Stark says

"What's happening?" Thor Sparkle asks, confused

"Oh, right. You haven't met yet" Stark says "Strawberry Shortcake, this is Thor in Twilight's body. Thor, this is a very crazy horse"

"Hi, Trot. I'm Pinkie Pie" Pinkie extends her hoof for a hoofshake "Nice to meet you"

Thor grabs Pinkie's hoof and kisses it "The pleasure is mine, Lady Pie"

Pinkie blushes and giggles "That rhymed"

"Seriously, Thor, stop kissing their hooves" Stark reprimands "You don't know where they've been!"

"He hasn't kissed my hoof…" Applejack muses out loud

"It's because he only does that to ladies" Stark quips, to which Applejack shoots him a death glare.

On the other side of the room, two ladybugs sit on a windowsill. Without anyone or anypony noticing, they open their wings, revealing a pair of watchful yellow eyes.

Discord had to pat himself on the back. Hexing the Elements of Harmony "just in case" was a stroke of genius! Sure, they didn't "malfunction" like he was hoping them to (he was really surprised when the Elements actually worked and imprisoned him in stone again), but this, this is just great!

Two of the Elements are gone forever! Luckily, Twilight didn't detect the hex before she herself was sent to another dimension. Now, nothing can stop him!

Oh, oh, let's not be so hasty. He was hasty last time, how much good did that do? One single day of freedom and back to the statue! Well, can you blame him? You too would be dying to cause some mayhem if you have been locked up for that many centuries. But he had his fix yesterday, already.

No, this time he's gonna be patient. This time he's gonna make it last.

He's gonna have plenty of time to drown Equestria in chaos once he makes sure that ALL Elements are sent to kingdom come.

Oh, my! He can barely wait!

Author's Note

Author's Notes: I just received my Avengers Assembled Tesseract Suitcase Blu-Ray Box Set HOLY SHIT!

It has all the movies in Blu-Ray, plus an extra disc of Special Features, and PROPS! OMG, So many props! Phil Coulson calling card, Aldrich Killian calling card (as seem on the flashback sequence on IM3), Steve Rogers' 4F, the first schematics of the Iron Man armor that Tony shows Yinsen on the cave, Natasha and Clint's files, Label of the Guarana factory that Bruce works for in TIH, Jane Foster security badge, "Donald Blake" driver's license, and so much other sweet shit, I can't believe it!

I'M SO FUCKING HAPPY! (The handle of the suitcase is ridiculously tiny and the secret website of secret stuff doesn't accept my ZIP code because I live outside the US BUT WHO GIVES A SHIT)

If this Box Set was a woman I would ask it to marry me.

And then it would laugh at my face and run away to Hawaii with someone who's richer and better looking.

And then I would be arrested, because since I ordered it on the internet to be delivered to me, this constitutes as Human Trafficking which is illegal.

I think I kind of messed up my metaphor...

(If it takes a while for me to update the next chapter is because I'm busy playing with my Tesseract replica like I'm 5 years old)