I went to a convenience store the other day and, on the bargain Blu-Ray shelves, they had the Twilight movie. And right next to it they had a Whitney Houston movie called Sparkle. It was definitely not on purpose (because Twilight has the Portuguese translated name in the cover, which kinda ruins the joke) but I found it hilarious.

Two things about the previous chapter:

1) If you want to know the rhythm of the "Happy Send Them Back To Home Portal Stuff Thingy" song, I wrote it humming Mary Poppins' "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious". (I can type Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious without looking it up. Is that a good thing?)

2) To make Rainbow Stark's Fairly Oddparents joke, I googled Jorgen and Trixie to make sure I got their names right. Here's a thing about me: when I google a character, I google it in 'Images' rather than the normal search. The very first page of Trixie Tang's Image search is composed almost entirely of pornographic fanart. I find that hilarious and telling. I'm not sure of what it's telling, but is definitely telling of something.

PS: According to the Special Features on the Avengers Assembled Box Set, Clint Barton was originally supposed to be in the Guarana Factory scene in The Incredible Hulk. (and they misspelled Heimdall's name)

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one'."

"To the Ancients, Friendship seemed the happiest and most fully human of all loves; the crown of life and the school of virtue. The modern world, in comparison, ignores it"

"I have no duty to be anyone's Friend and no man in the world has a duty to be mine. No claims, no shadow of necessity. Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art, like the universe itself (for God did not need to create). It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival."

Excerpts from The Four Loves by C. S. Lewis

CHAPTER EIGHT

WELCOME TO THE BIG APPLE

"So, what's for dinner?" Dash arrives in the kitchen, rubbing her tummy.

"Well, considering that you're ponies, we assumed you're vegetarians" Pepper says "So, corn"

"I love corn!" Dash says, sitting on the table "Do you have cider?" Dash tries to reach a corn cob, but Twilight slaps her hand "Ouch! What's that for?"

"We shouldn't eat until everypony is here, Rainbow Dash" Twilight explains "Clint, Selvig, and Steve didn't arrive yet"

"Dr. Selvig is still tinkering with the cube downstairs. I'm not sure if Clint will be here. He probably will spend the night in the Helicarrier" Natasha says "I don't know about Steve, though"

"I'm afraid I must inform you" Jarvis interrupted them "that Captain Rogers seems to be having problems in the bathroom"

"TMI, Jarvis. TMI" Bruce says

"That's not the kind of problems I'm referring to, Dr. Banner" Jarvis said "He's panicking and doesn't seem to know how to unlock the door"

"Well... that's odd" Banner says "Couldn't you unlock it for him?"

"Yes, I could" Jarvis answers "But I don't think it would be recommendable for Captain Rogers to leave the bathroom alone on his current state of mind. Especially, considering that he's not Captain Rogers"

"What?!"

"According to my scan, Captain Rogers has suffered another inter-dimensional body exchange"

"And when were you planning to tell us that?" Banner asks

"I just did"

"GET ME OUT OF HERE!" Steve Rogers, who's now Applejack, screams, knocking on the bathroom's wooden door.

She gives another strong knock. So strong, it cracks a hole in the door, startling the people (and ponies) who were now on the other side.

"Calm down, Steve… or whoever you are" Bruce addresses Apple Rogers "I'll unlock the door… We ain't gonna hurt you…"

Apple Rogers takes a peek through the hole "W-who… what the hay are ya?"

"Don't be alarmed. We're friends" Bruce says unlocking the door

Before he can open it fully, Apple Rogers bursts through it, jumping over Bruce, pinning him down "WHAT ARE YA? WHAT Y'ALL DID TO ME? WHERE AM I?" she shouts

"Y-you are making me nervous" Bruce says, breathing heavily "Please, stop. You don't want to make me nervous…"

"Is that a threat?!" Apple Rogers shouts

"A friendly warning" Bruce says "Don't make me angry. You won't like me when I'm angry"

Apple Rogers sneers "Just ya know I've lassoed wild bulls that were scarier than y'all. Granny Smith didn't raise a fraidy cat"

"Believe me, I'm no wild bull" Bruce says, trying to keep his heart rate steady

"Applejack?" Twilight asks

Apple Rogers turns her head towards the caped man "I don't care who ya are or how ya know my name, but if ya take one more…"

"Applejack! It's me, Twilight!"

Apple Rogers just blinks "No, y're not"

"And why is that?" Tony Dash chimes in "Because she doesn't look like Twilight? Well, I don't look like Rainbow Dash and neither do you look like Applejack. But, still, you are Applejack, aren't you?"

"Twilight? Rainbow Dash?" Apple Rogers asks, tears forming into the corner of her eyes "Oh my gosh. I thought ya were gone forever" she says, hugging Twilight. Pepper just watches, smiling "Hey, y're lookin' good!" she says, talking about Thor's/Twilight's outfit.

"Heh, thanks" Twilight laughs

"What about me?" Tony Dash says, opening her arms "Do I receive a warm reception or not?"

"Oh, Rainbow Dash, I…" Apple Rogers run to Dash's arms, but stopped in her tracks. "I… I'm very happy to see ya again" she shakes Dash's hand, displaying a nervous, forced smile.

Dash shoots her an annoyed look "That's it?! A hoofshake?! That's all I get? Do I have chicken pox or something?"

"Uh… no, of course not" Apple Rogers says, and reluctantly hugs Tony Dash

"That's more like it!" Dash says with a smile, still hugging her friend

Apple Rogers sweats nervously. Darn ya, Stark, for making me feel uncomfortable about hugging my own friend she thinks, keeping her pelvis as far as possible from Tony Dash's

"Wait a minute…" she suddenly says "Ya Tony Stark, right? This is his body, right? His face, right?"

"Yeah" Tony Dash chuckles "I'm all Stark now. Why, did you—?"

POW!

Tony Dash is propelled to the other side of the room, knocked hard by the punch Apple Rogers delivered to her face

"TONY!" Pepper screams

"Applejack!" Twilight shouts, shocked

"Oh, my gosh!" Apple Rogers says "I'm powerful sorry, Rainbow Dash. I didn't know I was this strong…"

"WHAT THE HAY WAS THAT FOR?" Tony Dash shouts, trying to get up with a bleeding nose

"I'm sorry! Is just that… I wanted to be sure that, once Stark was back on his body, his face wouldn't be so 'unharmed and handsome'"

"Well, once we're back, I'll make sure your face won't be so pretty either" Dash says, annoyed

"I said I was sorry"

"Look, Applejack" Twilight says "I'm sure that Stark may have been a pain to you while I was gone, but trust me, he's not that bad"

"Not that bad? And how would ya know that?"

"His friends told me"

"Friends?"

"Applejack, right?" Pepper addresses her "Look, I'm sure that Tony did something to deserve that kind of reaction, and I know how this whole situation must be so confusing and frightening to you…"

"Yeah, it really is confu—"

SLAP!

Apple Rogers stares in shock at Pepper who just delivered a strong slap in her now stinging cheek.

"…but no one, no one hurts my Tony" Pepper concluded "Now, are you hungry? Dinner's on the table. Hope you like corn"

"Y-yeah, I… I am... I like corn..." Apple Rogers mumbled, still in shock, caressing her cheek and following the group to the kitchen.

"So, you're the famous Applejack, huh?" Bruce says

"Famous?" Apple Rogers says, confused

"Rainbow Dash talked a lot about you on her first hours here" Bruce explains "She was worried we did something to you. You have a very loyal friend"

"Yeah, that's Rainbow Dash" she said with a smile "Sorry for tacklin' ya, by the way"

"Yeah, about that" Bruce says "I was serious. Don't make me angry. I don't want to sound threatening, but it's a really bad idea to make me angry"

"Uh… okay" Apple says in a mix of confusion, suspicion, and curiosity

As they arrive in the kitchen, they see Clint sitting on the table, eating corn.

"Hey, I was wondering where you guys were" Clint says with his mouth full

Dash shots Twilight an annoyed look, as if complaining for her not letting her eat.

"Clint! I thought you would stay in the Helicarrier" Natasha says

"Oh, yeah… I don't know what I was thinking!" Clint replies "Why would I trade those marvelous standard military meals and tiny, barely comfortable bunks for this crude homemade food and cheap Egyptian silk beds that Stark has? I should totally have stayed in the Helicarrier"

"Who's that?" Apple Rogers says "Actually, who's everypony? I didn't get their names..."

"That's Clint, Applejack" Twilight says "He's one of Stark's friends"

"What? Wait… I knew it!" Clint says "I asked him if he was feeling like eating hay, but he didn't listen. I knew he would be swapped! Are you another girl pony?"

"Uh… yes, I am" Apple Rogers says

"Is there any boys in your group?" Natasha asks

"Not really" Apple Rogers says "Unless you count Spike"

"Okay" Natasha says, raising her hand "Who wanna bet that, when my turn comes, I'll be swapped with this Spike guy?"

"Let's hope there is no next turn" Bruce says "Say, Applejack, did Tony managed to un-jam the portal?"

"Un-jam?"

"Dear Celestia! Discord!" Twilight suddenly exclaims "Applejack! How's things back home? Did you capture Discord?"

"Discord?" Apple Rogers asks "We defeated him yesterday! Don't ya remember? Did the mind swap give ya magnesia?"

"Amnesia" Twilight corrects

"That too?!"

"No! I didn't forget anything, Applejack" Twilight says "We believe he escaped his stone prison"

"That's ridiculous!" Apple Rogers rebuts "He didn't escape! If he did, I think I'd notice it. I think everypony would notice it. Why do ya think he escaped?"

"Loki said there was an aura of chaos disrupting the portal" Twilight explains "And the only thing I know that can—"

"Loki?" Apple Rogers interrupts "You mean Thor's brother?"

"Exactly!" Twilight said

"The pony molester?" Apple Rogers continues

Clint chokes on his water.

"Pony molester?" Tony Dash asks

"That's what Stark said" Apple continues "He said that Thor's brother would molest us if he was there"

"I believe Mr. Stark was making a debatably amusing reference to the myth of Sleipnir"

"Oh my gosh! Who's that?" Apple Rogers shouts

"I'm Jarvis, Madam"

"Are ya a ghost?" Apple asks, still shaken

"Yes"

"JARVIS!" Pepper yells "Don't mind Jarvis, Applejack, he's just joking. He's not a ghost, he's a computer"

"COMPUTERS CAN'T JOKE!" Apple Rogers shouts

"Stark's computers can!" Twilight, Dash, Clint, Natasha, and Steve said almost in unison.

"I must protest to being referred as simply another one of Master Stark's computers" Jarvis said in an almost insulted tone "I'm unique and I would like you to acknowledge that"

"Shoot!" Apple says "So… he's a computer? A computer that can joke?"

"That's nothing!" Dash says "Jarvis, show her one of those holo-whatever!"

"Anything specific you desire?"

"What you got?"

"How about 2010 New Year's Celebration in Times Square?"

"Sure. Shoot it!"

"As you wish"

As soon as he said that, the room was invaded by holographic fireworks, with loud cheers, and people singing and laughing. Apple Rogers looks dumbfounded by all. Dash displays a look of pure glee.

"This. Is. AWESOME!" she shouts "Twilight, I want a Jarvis! You can make me a Jarvis, right?"

"Uh… sure" Twilight, who was anything but sure, answered Dash

"Sweet!"

As the holographic presentation ends, Apple Rogers stutters "T-this w-was… it was… Stark made this?!"

"Yeah…" Twilight says in a tone that made it sound like she was accepting defeat "He really is everything he said he was… he's a genius"

"…and famous" Dash says

"…and rich" Twilight continues

"…and handsome" Apple Rogers concludes

All eyes turn to her "You think he's handsome?" Twilight asks

Apple Rogers blushes "N-no! Of course not! Imagine that" she gives in an incredibly bad forced smile. Remember what I said in the first chapter about her being a shitty liar? "So… about Discord and that Loki fella..." she desperately tries to change the subject.

"Uh… yeah, Loki said there was an aura of chaos preventing the portal to revert everypony back" Twilight explains "He said it was coming from our side. You sure Discord isn't free?"

"Twilight, it's Discord" Apple Rogers says "Do ya really think he wouldn't make himself known if he was free?"

"Well, whether it's Discord or not, it's now up to Stark to solve everything" Dash says "We can't do anything from this side"

"…and I don't know what Stark can do without me" Twilight says "He needs somepony who's skilled in magic not only to power up the gems but also to dissipate whichever kind of magic is disrupting the portal"

"Well, Rarity could…" Dash starts

"Rarity declined" Apple interrupts "She didn't think she was good enough… That's why Stark made a deal with Trixie…"

"WHAT?!" Dash shouts

"Trixie?!" Twilight asks, dumbfounded

"How could he make a deal with that… that… ARGH!" Dash screams, angry and frustrated "What kind of deal? Why did you let him do it?"

"We had our hooves tied!" Apple protests "She was our only hope to get ya guys out of here!"

"And it worked splendidly, didn't it?" Dash sneered "That's what you get having that phony help you…"

"Yeah, because when Twilight did it, it all went fine, right?" Apple Rogers retorts "No offense, Twilight"

"None taken, Applejack" Twilight says "It's obvious that it was the aura of chaos and not Trixie who…"

"You're defending her?!" Dash shouts "Why the hay are you two defending her?!"

"Excuse me" Banner interrupts "I'm sensing some bad blood here. What's your problem with this Trixie girl?"

"Trixie is… well… she makes magic shows" Twilight says

"SHE SHOWS OFF!" Dash shouts "She's an attention seeker! And a liar too! She kept saying that she was better than everypony else and tried to humiliate us! She's an annoying mule!"

"Wait, that's it?" Natasha asks

"I'd rather be stuck here forever than to owe anything to that attention horse" Dash frowns

"Well, Loki brainwashed Clint and Selvig to do his bidding, caused our NASA facility to cave in, killing 80 of our fellow agents, he later stabbed a man in the eye, killing him, tried to kill an old man who dared to oppose him, almost destroyed the Helicarrier, promised me he would force Clint to kill me and then free him from his spell just so he would know what he did before Loki could 'split his skull'. After this, he tried to kill Stark, he tried to kill Thor, his own brother, and he stabbed a close friend of ours in the back. And I didn't even mention the war he started to enslave us which caused the deaths of millions of innocent civilians. And this afternoon we asked him for help" Natasha says "So, yeah, I'd say our 'Deal with the Devil' is a little worse than yours"

Twilight gulps. She already knew Loki was bad news, but this? How can somepony be so… so cruel? She has faced evil before, but not even close to this scale.

Apple gasps, shocked. Loki did all that? All those horrible things? And to top it off, he's a molester too?

Dash hangs her head in shame "I-I guess I overreacted… I'm sorry…"

After a few moments of silence, Banner speaks "Let's not talk about this right now. We're all tired and it was a long day for everyone and everypony. Let's eat"

"Oh, so you're going to eat without me, huh?" Erik Selvig says, arriving at the kitchen

Everyone just stares at him in silence. Apple Rogers looks puzzled.

"What? Is anything wrong?" Selvig asks "Did I miss something?"

"Oh, boy" Bruce sighs

After they explain everything to Selvig, and Apple Rogers is finally introduced to everyone whose name she didn't catch, they eat. Twilight and Dash keep trying to talk with Apple about how things are back home, but she's most dismissive. There's something wrong. She's happy for seeing her friends again, but… she's not seeing them again! That's not how they look! That's not how they sound! There's nothing that tells her that those are really Rainbow Dash and Twilight other than their word. And she trusts their word. But… how do you expect her to stop missing them, when she can't see them; when she can't hear them? They're here but they might as well not. Stuck forever in strange bodies with strange faces. This is wrong! This doesn't feel right! Why? Why couldn't everything go back to normal?

After they finish eating, they say their goodnights. Apple Rogers gives Twilight and, reluctantly again, Dash a tight hug, and goes to Steve Rogers' bedroom, guided by Natasha. Lying down in the bed, Apple Rogers is restless. This was a horrible day. Rainbow Dash disappeared, somepony named Stark was in her place, he insulted Twilight, made her cry, and made her disappear too. And now she's in a stranger's body in a strange world full of strange creatures, far from home, far from her friends, far from her family. No way to know if she'll ever be back. If she'll ever see her friends again. If she'll ever see her little sister's smile when she gets her Cutie Mark. She wonders what it could be. Powerless and exiled. She finally knows how Thor feels…

She closes her eyes, wishing that all of this was nothing but a horrible nightmare, wishing that, once she opens her eyes again, everything will be back to normal…

Hey, Applejack! Wake up!

"What…?" Applejack mumbles, rubbing her eyes.

"Wake-wakey, you ate too much cakey"

Applejack opens her eyes to see Twilight and Pinkie looking at her "I-I'm back?"

"You're back!" Pinkie shouts with a smile.

"Ya… you're not Thor?" she asks Twilight

"Who? Me? No" Twilight chuckles "If anypony here is tore, it's you"

"Me? I…" Applejack looks at her hooves… they're hooves! She's Applejack again! No longer Apple Rogers! "I'm back!"

"Yeah… uh… You already said that" Twilight says

"She's loco in the coco" Pinkie audibly whispers to Twilight

"But… how? How did I came back?"

"Back from where, Applejack?" Twilight asks

"The Man world!"

"What's the mane world?" Twilight asks "An amusement park?"

"I told you she ate too much cake" Pinkie says

"Applejack, we didn't go to an amusement park" Twilight continues "The party was here, remember?"

"Party? What party?"

"Your birthday party, silly" Pinkie says "You ate so much cake yesterday that you went KAPLOFT in the floor!"

"My birthday? Yesterday? No! Yesterday wasn't my birthday!" Applejack protests "Yesterday we defeated Discord!"

"Who's Discord?" Twilight asks confused

"The brother of Discard and Concord" Pinkie giggles

"What?" Applejack shouts "What do ya mean who's Discord? The big, mean chaos-maker! He almost destroyed our friendship! He almost destroyed Equestria! H-he… got rid of Rainbow Dash and…"

"Applejack, calm down" Twilight comforts her "There is no Discord. Nopony got sent anywhere. It was just a nightmare"

"A-a nightmare?"

"Yeah, you ate too much jack, Applecake" Pinkie says a third time

A nightmare? Could it be? I don't remember a party at all...

"But… it was so real…" Applejack continues "We had to use the Elements of Harmony to defeat Discord and then Rainbow Dash's necklace shot a burst of light and then she was no longer Rainbow... She was somepony else… And then ya were somepony else too…"

"That's a really crazy dream" Twilight says

"It didn't feel like a dream! It was… it was horrible!" Applejack hugs her two friends tight

"There, there" Twilight pats her in the back "It's all over now"

Applejack tears up with happiness "Ya guys wouldn't believe how crazy it was. I was traded next, and I arrived in this weird world ruled by creatures that stand on their hind hooves, have all the same pale pinkish skin like a bunch of zombies, and have these meaty finger-like sticks on their hooves. And ya were there too, Twilight, with Rainbow Dash, but ya didn't look like ya, ya were one of them and so was I. And we would stay like that forever, because ya didn't have ya magic, and Rainbow didn't have her wings and we couldn't come back…"

"Well, whatever that place was, it sounds awful" Applejack turns her head to see Rainbow Dash arriving through the door "I'm glad you're here, Applejack"

"Oh, Rainbow Dash, I'm so glad ya are here, too!" Applejack says, hugging her friend

"No, you don't understand" Rainbow Dash says, softly "I'm very glad you're here"

"What do ya mean?" Applejack asks, confused. She gets her answer with a shock as Rainbow Dash starts to lick her face.

Apple Rogers wakes up, flushed and sweating "DARN YA, STARK!" she screams

She turns to look at the digital clock in the wall: 04:58 AM. Groaning, she gets up.

She moves towards the kitchen, wanting to grab herself a snack, when she sees an eerie blue glow coming from the living room. Once she arrives, she finds Bruce Banner alone, studying a holographic schematic of Stark's chest reactor.

Bruce sees her "Oh, hi there"

"Hi" Apple Rogers greets back "Trouble sleeping?"

"Was about to ask you the same thing"

"I live in a farm. We get up early" she says. Well, it is true…

"Of course" Bruce says

"And you?"

"I'm studying the reactor to see if…" Bruce pauses "Actually, I'm afraid to go to sleep…"

Apple is surprised "Ya are? Why?"

"It's the first time in months that I share a roof with someone else" Bruce explains "I worry that if I sleep… I could have a nightmare…"

"That's it?!" Apple chuckles "Sorry, I didn't mean to laugh… But… everypony have nightmares every now and then, it's nothing to—"

"You don't get it" Bruce says "If I have a nightmare, it could put everyone here in danger!"

"So, if ya have a nightmare, you endanger everypony?" Apple's confused. This Bruce Banner is an enigma "So, ya don't sleep?"

"Of course I sleep" Bruce says "I have to. Lack of sleep makes one irritable and easy to anger, and I can't. Be. Angry. So, of course I sleep. But, usually, I try to avoid sleeping when others are around. So, no one can get hurt if I…" Bruce takes a look at Apple Rogers, who seems slightly disturbed "Am I scaring you?"

Apple makes a 'kinda' movement with her head.

"I wish I could say you shouldn't be afraid of me… but that would be a lie…"

"Can I be honest?" Apple says "Ya don't seem dangerous. I mean, lookin' at ya, I don't think ya would ever harm anypony"

Bruce gives in a sad smile "Well, looks can be deceiving. We all have our inner monsters…"

"Is that the problem?" Apple asks "Did ya do something bad? We all make mistakes, but we need to learn how to forgive ourselves. Don't be so hard on ya"

Bruce chuckles "You're reminding me of Tony"

"Hey! No need for insults!" Apple says in a playful manner

Bruce smiles "He's been difficult to you, hasn't he?"

"That's an understatement"

"He has a good heart though"

"You're the second… uh… man to tell me that"

"Thor?" Bruce asks

"Yeah. Tell me: how did ya guys became friends? I mean, Stark is so infuriating…"

"Well, I have practice trying not to be infuriated, so that may have helped" Bruce laughs "But, he never demonstrated to be scared of me… and, for once, that was nice…"

"I'm not scared of ya either" Apple says "Does that make us friends?"

"Maybe" Bruce smiles "The difference is that Stark knew what I could do. You don't"

"And what can you do, Mr. Mystery?"

Bruce pauses for a few seconds "Pancakes" he says

"What?" Apple asks, confused

"I'm hungry. Do you like pancakes? I'll make some for us"

"Ya cook?"

"I find it relaxing"

Nearly two hours later, Twilight Odinson and Tony Dash woke up and met on the hallway. Going towards the kitchen, they hear some chatter…

"He gave ya a shock?! And ya were okay with it?!"

"He was just teasing me. It's what he does"

"If it was me, I would have kicked him"

"What? None of your friends ever played a prank on you?"

"Well, yeah, but… Stark's not my friend!"

"Well, he is my friend"

"But… ya said ya just met when he shocked ya!"

"Well…" Bruce stops when he sees Dash and Twilight "Hey there! You're hungry? We made pancakes"

"Uh… sure" Twilight says, taking a seat next to Apple Rogers

"I have some orange juice too" Bruce says "Want some?"

"Just water, thanks"

"Water for me too" Dash says, taking a seat on Apple's left

"As you wish" Bruce says, giving them two glasses of water and some pancakes "Well, I think the three friends have some catch up to do, so I'll leave you girls alone" and so he does.

"I don't understand why he thinks he's so dangerous" Apple said, after Bruce left "He seems like such a nice fella"

"Apparently, he has a condition of some sort" Twilight says "At least, that's what he told us yesterday"

"Well, he left us alone so we would catch up on things, so let's do just that" Dash says "How are things back home? You didn't talk much last night…"

"I… I just didn't want to talk about it…" Apple sighs

"Why? Is it because of Stark?" Twilight asks her friend "Was he insulting you again? I know it must be hard, but…"

"Insultin' me? Worse than that" Apple Rogers interrupts "He was complimentin' me…"

Tony Dash and Twilight Odinson changed confused glances "And that's... bad?" Dash asks

"It's the way he said it"

"And how did he say it?" asked Twilight

"Well…" Apple Rogers starts "First, he apologized for being a jerk, then he said I was a very loyal friend, full of good character and with a nice physique… and then… well… he said it would be nice to trot under the moonlight and then something happened… actually, it didn't. It almost did, but it didn't... It's not important. Let's skip this part"

Dash and Twilight stare quizzically at her

"Anyways" she continues, sweating nervously "He went back to his 'normal' way for a while when we went to talk with Trixie, but still a little nicer than he was before. Then, on our way back, I tried to start a conversation with him and it was nice for a while, but then he became a jerk again and I said it to him! I shouldn't have… because it got worse. In between his usual insults, he would talk about tender moments we had, or about how beautiful I was… and just before I fainted to wake up here, he kissed me in the cheek and called me 'sugar cube'…"

"Oh… wow…" is all Twilight manages to say

"He was flirting with you?" Dash asks and laughs out loud "Applejack has a love-er"

"He was flirtin' with me while he was ya" Applejack replies

"Oh" Dash says "oh" she repeats, thoughtful "OH!" she shouts as the implications sank in

"Is that why you were acting so uncomfortable near Rainbow?" Twilight asks

"He knew it would make me uncomfortable. That's why he kept doing it"

"If I ever put my hooves on him…" Tony Dash says. She looks at her clenched fist. After a few seconds, she punches herself in the face "OUCH! This hurts! This was stupid! Why did I do this?"

"Yeah, Stark's a pest" Twilight says "He was just trying to make you feel embarrassed"

"I know but… it kinda messed with me, ya know?"

"Hey, he was just pulling your hoof" Dash says "If it will make you more comfortable to be around me: I, Rainbow Dash, solemnly declare that I am not attracted to you, Applejack"

"Of course ya not! That's ridiculous…"

"It's something else that's bothering you" Twilight remarks

Apple blushes "I-I had a dream…"

"So…?" Twilight asks

"…with Rainbow…"

"What…" Twilight looks confused, but, slowly, realization sinks in "Oh… that kind of dream?"

"Ye—No! I mean… it wasn't like that… I…"

"Wait... You had a dream… with me?" Dash asks

Apple Rogers mumbles something incomprehensible.

"Oh my gosh! You are attracted to me!" Dash says with a laugh

"NO, I'M NOT" Apple Rogers shouts angry and blushing

"It's okay, Applejack" Dash says "Even though I'm sad with the end of our friendship, I understand. I'm astoundingly beautiful. You just couldn't resist"

"Ya know" Apple Rogers frowns "I'm starting to think ya and Stark deserve each other"

"She and Stark deserve each other?" Twilight asks "But I thought you were Stark's marefriend"

"Twilight! You too?" Apple Rogers says

"Sorry" Twilight says, trying to hide her smile

"I should be the one apologizing, Twilight" Dash says, barely keeping a straight face "I should know better than to release my charms. They have wrecked homes before. You could be the next victim. Run while there's time"

"It wasn't ya charms!" Apple Rogers says, annoyed "It was Stark's!"

"So, you admit to be in love with Stark?" Tony Dash teased

"NO!" Apple Rogers shouts

"You have to choose, Applejack. You can't have both" Twilight says, tears already falling through the corner of her eyes as she bites her lip, trying not to laugh

"I'M NOT IN LOVE WITH ANYPONY!"

"Denial" Twilight Odinson and Tony Dash say in unison

"ARGH!" Apple Rogers screams frustrated "Just one minute ago, ya were mad at Stark, and now ya are doing this?! Why?!"

"Calm down, Applejack" Dash says with a smile "We're just teasing you. It's what friends do"

He was just teasing me. It's what he does. Bruce's words echo in her head. Could it be that all those annoying quips were Stark's misguided way to try and reach their friendship?

"Teasin' is what friends do, huh?" Apple Rogers says "So ya girls think that Stark may have been tryin' to befriend us with all his stupid jokes?"

"I don't know. Never met the guy" Dash says "I keep hearing conflicting stories about his character…"

"Well, it could be" Twilight says, trying to keep an open mind about Stark "Some ponies have very weird ways to demonstrate affection…"

"Yeah… maybe he truly likes me… US! Maybe he truly likes us!" Apple says

"Tony Stark and Applejack sitting in a tree…" Dash starts to sing

"…K-I-C-K-I-N-G ya face if ya don't stop this" Apple Rogers says, angry

"Ok, ok, I'll stop" Dash says "We're still friends?"

Apple mockingly looks like she's considering it before smiling "Of course, ya dummy"

"Friends forever?" Twilight raises her glass

"Friends forever!" they toast with their water glasses

"Ok, now, give me a kiss" Tony Dash tells Apple Rogers

Apple throws the water of her glass on Dash's face "Jerk!"

Dash and Twilight laugh while Apple frowns. After a few seconds, she starts to laugh too and holds her two friends under her arms "I missed ya guys" she says

Dash and Twilight wink at each other and empty their glasses on Apple's head "Missed you too!" they say in unison

"Hey! You're gonna wet the pancakes!" the still giggling friends turn to see Clint arriving at the kitchen "You may like wet pancakes back where you're from, but here, on the civilized world, we like them dry and hot, maybe with honey and/or butter on top, thank you very much"

It didn't take long for everyone else to arrive and have their breakfast. The three friends spent most of the time talking about trivial things and what they found most bewildering about this new world.

"So, when are we gonna try to go back, anyways?" Apple Rogers finally says

Bruce sighs "Dr. Selvig and I have been studying the machinery inside out. The only breakthrough we had is that it would be possible to sustain the portal indefinitely without a power source once we charge it up long enough. But the only thing that would do is create a self-sustaining portal that keeps switching people. As long as your side is jammed, we can't do anything from here"

"Says who?" Apple says

"Applejack, the portal is blocked by Equestria's side" Twilight says "What can we do?"

"Back in Sweet Apple Acres, when the barn doors are stuck and there's nopony inside to unblock it" Apple says "I kick and kick until I force it open"

"I don't see how this—"

"Wait! She may have a point" Bruce says

"She does?" Twilight asks

"Yeah, why can't we try to dissipate the aura from here?" Bruce says "If we can connect to another dimension, why can't we push our way in?"

"But how?" Clint asks

"Loki. How else?" Bruce answers

They were still discussing it, but Twilight wasn't paying attention. Dissipate it from this side… Why not? How come she didn't think of that? How come they didn't even try it? It's such an obvious solution! It was the logical next step! It's… It's…

…a deduction anyone with even an average intelligence could make

…a deduction Applejack made. They were just going to sit around and wait. She was just going to sit around and wait! She just accepted that it was useless, without questioning it, because they told her so...

I told you, Stark. It's useless. There's nothing in the books that…

...and she just sat around and waited. She, with all her knowledge, couldn't come up with that simple idea, while Applejack could. It's a problem none of them smarty-pants had encountered before, and the humble farmer came with the answer. They would waste days trying to understand the portal and all Applejack had to do was compare it to the barn doors of her farm…

Someone who's intelligent can apply the knowledge they acquired in previous experiences to solve a completely new problem

Maybe Stark is right… Maybe she's not as intelligent as she liked to believe…

"So, it's settled, then" Clint says "We contact Fury to get our little magic prisoner down here again to see if he can hocus pocus our way in"

As they move to the living room to contact SHIELD by Jarvis' holographic screen, Bruce notices Twilight looking a bit down.

"Is everything okay?" he asks

"Applejack is smarter than me…" she says

"If you say so" Bruce says

"I always fancied myself the brains of our gang, but… this was so obvious! It went right over my head! I'm so dumb!"

"Hey! I didn't think about it either until your friend suggested it. Do you think I'm dumb? I don't think I'm dumb. I don't feel dumb. Just because someone can get to a conclusion before you do, doesn't mean you're dumb. Why do you think you're dumb?"

"Stark said that I just know what I read… that I can't think for myself… that I can't get to a conclusion unless it's in a book…"

"Tony thinks everyone is dumber than him"

"Yeah, but… he's right, you know" Twilight says, with a faint smile "He is smarter than everypony else"

"I guess" Bruce laughs "But let me tell you something… You're letting him get to you. You shouldn't. He's testing you. If he quips, you quip back. Don't apologize, don't explain yourself. Don't try to put him in his place because you're gonna fail. Hard. Just play along. That's the only way you're gonna gain his respect"

"Thanks" Twilight smiled "I'll try to remember that"

"Ponies? What do you mean they're ponies?"

"We're not saying that they're ponies" Nick Fury addresses the members of the World Security Council "While Deputy Hill did hear the alien entities being referred to as ponies and horses by Loki and Captain Rogers, we believe it may just be that their race have attributes that are similar to our equine species. It doesn't mean that they're actually horses"

The World Security Council was a council dedicated to world security. Duh. They were the big shots and the bosses of Nick Fury and SHIELD. They usually communicate with Fury through video-conference in badly-lit rooms. The badly-lit rooms are not to conceal their identity or to add mystery, but to save in electricity. Hey, you too would try to save as much as you can after you blew a shitload of money to build an invisible flying aircraft carrier!

The WSC main activities are:

1) Skyping in the dark

2) Annoying Nick Fury

3) Making stupid-ass decisions

"Director Fury" a councilmember said "This whole thing is overblown already. We have our hands full dealing with the criminal Loki and the damage control. We didn't need some stupid inter-dimensional body transference on top of that"

"I'm sorry if the works of fate are being inconvenient to you, sir" Nick Fury replies

"No need for insubordination, Director Fury" the councilwoman said "You are in serious danger of being demoted after disobeying our orders two days ago, so ,I'd suggest you…"

"If I had followed your orders, we would be calling the City of New York 'Ground Zero' right about now" Fury replies "So, I'd suggest you'd trust my judgment for once, and try to solve our problem without causing a nuclear holocaust"

The Council stays silent for a moment "Don't forget who gave you this position, Director Fury" one of them finally says

"And don't forget why you did" Fury replies "Will that be all?"

"For now" the Council finishes their transmission. Right before the last screen blacks out, Fury can hear one of them scoff "Ponies…"

Nick Fury massages his temples, trying to relax. God, he hates these motherfuckers.

"Sir, we are receiving a signal from the Stark Tower" Maria Hill informs

"Put it on the screen" the screen lights up, and showcases everyone in the Stark Tower living room "Nick Fury here. You have something to report?"

Something to report? This reminds Twilight that she would have a lot to report about to Princess Celestia once she's back.

"Yes, sir" Clint says "We believe we've found a possible…"

"Are ya a pirate?" Apple Rogers interrupts

Fury facepalms "I'm NOT a pirate! Please, tell me this is a joke and Rogers didn't become another horse. If this is a joke, what the hell is wrong with you all? Grow up"

"This is Applejack, sir" Bruce explains "She's the one who gave us the idea that we may be able to use Loki to dissipate the magic barrier from this end"

"Any reason you didn't try this yesterday?"

"We… hadn't thought about it yesterday"

"And they call themselves genius…" Fury says under his breath "So, you guarantee that if we send Loki down this time, everything will be back to normal?"

"Guarantee? No… I mean…" Bruce starts

"It's our best shot, sir" Clint says

Fury ponders for a second "Alright. Barton, come aboard. You'll escort Hill and Loki down. Over"

"Over and out, sir"

"With all due respect, sir" Hill says, after the transmission ends "I'm a big girl. I don't need Agent Barton to…"

"HILL!" Fury shouts "This is not about whether you can defend yourself or not! I'm not, I repeat, NOT gonna let an agent of mine alone with the magic sociopath! Is that clear?"

"Y-yes, sir" Hill answers, slightly surprised by Fury's outburst

A few minutes later, Hill and Barton arrive at Loki's cell

"You know" Loki says with a smirk "I've never felt as requested as I did these last days. I think I should try to enslave worlds more often… Was there another swap?"

"Yes. But that's not why we're here" Hill says "We want you to…"

"Who got swapped?" Loki asks

"Why do you want to know?" Clint asks

"Curiosity"

"It was Rogers" Hill answers

"Oh, the soldier…" Loki begins to muse to himself

"As we were saying, we need you to come back down, so you can stabilize the portal and…"

"Actually, Dr. Selvig already found way to make the portal self-sustainable, we just…" Clint says

"Oh, he did?" Loki says, suddenly very interested "Still, self-sustainable or not, there's still the issue of the aura of Chaos, so I don't see what good…"

"Dr. Banner believes that you may be able to dissipate the aura from this side" Hill says

Loki gives in a look of someone who was caught doing something naughty, but is still proud of it.

Clint notices it "You could do it all along, couldn't you, you bastard?"

Loki flinches at the mention of the word 'bastard' but quickly goes back to his cool demeanor "Yes, I could"

"You could!" Clint yells outraged "You knew it all along! And yet, you did…"

"I did nothing" Loki says with a smirk "Just like I told the good doctor"

"You son of a bitch…"

"Easy, Barton" Hill says "Now that we know he can do it, he can't delay us anymore"

"You still want to take me to the tower?" Loki asks, smiling "You sure that's a good idea?"

"Why? It almost sounds like you don't want to get out of here" Hill remarks

"Oh, But I do" Loki answers "I just want you to be aware of the exact moment you committed the worst mistake of your life"

"I don't like the sound of that" Clint remarked, apprehensive

"It's all bark, Barton" Hill said, showing the Shock Collar control on her hand "We have this one on the leash"

Loki smiles.

Minutes later, Clint was piloting the Quinjet back to Stark Tower, with Hill and Loki sitting opposite each other, Loki ever smiling. After they land on the roof, Loki moves towards the building access door with Clint and Hill following. Suddenly, he stops.

"Keep moving, Loki" Maria says

Loki doesn't move.

"I said MOVE!" Hill tries to push Loki, but her hand passes right through him, as his image flicker and disappear

"SHIT!" it's all Clint is able to say before Loki appears behind him and gives him a punch in the face.

In the same fraction of second, Loki grabs Hill's wrist and twists it, making her scream in pain and drop the control.

Clint recovers and counter-attacks, but Loki grabs his arm, throw him over his back, and stamps Clint in the face, rendering him unconscious.

Maria reaches the control, but Loki steps into her hand "Oh, no, you won't" putting all his weight on that foot, Loki crushes the control, hurting her hand, and, using the other foot, kicks Hill hard in the head, causing her to spit blood and pass out.

"Filthy quim" Loki says, ripping the collar off of his neck, and climbing down the stairs to meet the others.

Author's Note

MARVEL FUN FACTS: (Bear with me. This will be a lengthy one... or just skip it all together)

TWILIGHT

Outside the mainstream Marvel Universe (Earth-616) there are many alternate universes like the Ultimates (Earth-1610) and the MCU (Earth-199999). In the middle of those alternate realities, there was Earth-148611, also known as the New Universe, where life was mostly normal until a White Event gave random people across the globe super-powers. One of those people was Lenore Fenzl, an elderly retired Latin teacher.

The first symptom of her mutation was a patch of grey skin. Worried, she showed it to one of the retirement home's healthcare assistants, who ended up losing consciousness, the same happened to a doctor. It turns out that her skin patch exhaled radiation that could steal people's energy, tranquilizing them and revitalizing her, thus making her younger. Much to her dismay, the grey discoloration grew to cover her whole body and give out a bright, blinding light. To prevent her powers from hurting her loved ones, Lenore covers herself head to toe in a grayish-purple trenchcoat, gloves, hat, shades and scarf.

Fenzl became a patient at the Clinic for Paranormal Research, where all people affected by the White Event were brought to. After finding out that the Director of the Clinic, Philip Nolan Voigt, was using the patients for his own nefarious schemes, Lenore and six other patients who she befriended escaped.

They were henceforth called the "Displaced Paranormal Seven". Lenore took the codename "Twilight".

They were recaptured however and mentally conditioned to never run away again. Except for David Landers, one of the DP7 who was immune to mind manipulation, who was able to freed his friends from the hypnosis and weed the corrupt staff out. Now a safer place for the patients, the DP7 decided to make the Clinic their new headquarters, and become the new staff.

During her stay in the clinic as part of the staff, Twilight grew a closer friendship to Jeff "Blur" Walters, who could move at superhuman speed, but could never stop. Twilight's energy drain powers were the only thing that could allow him to rest. Even though she loved helping Walters, her constant sessions with him made her become addicted to her power, and once she found herself trying to absorb energy from a young patient, she was disgusted and swore to never use her powers again, not even to help Walters. She broke that oath, however, when her friend Charlotte "Friction" Beck begged her to help stop a riot on the Clinic.

Lenore was later invited to join CIA's Paranormal Femme Force Five which consisted of her, and fellow DP7's Friction and Stephanie "Glitter" Harrington, plus newcomers Merriam "Sponge" Sorenson and Professor Jenny Swensen codenamed: Spitfire (she soon after changed her codename to the more appropriate Chrome. There's another character nicknamed Spitfire in the Main Marvel Universe though. I'll talk about her next).

Their very first mission ended in disaster however, as they were sent to the jungles of Brazil (Yay! My homeland!) to detain a monstrous creature at large. The blob-like monster tries to absorb them, causing them to desperately fight for their very lives. Twilight is engulfed by the creature as Glitter desperately tries to retrieve her from inside the monster, but can only find her clothes, her body nowhere to be found. Before she can continue her search, she passes out from exhaustion, believing to have failed her friends. When she wakes up, the monster had ran away, and everyone seems to be fine. Except for Twilight, who was nowhere to be seem. Glitter insists to search for her, but after three fruitless hours they return home, with Glitter overwhelmed by guilt and sorrow over the loss of Twilight.

SPITFIRE

Lady Jacqueline Falsworth was member of a traditional aristocratic British family. Her father, Lord James Falsworth, had fought in the first World War as the costumed soldier Union Jack. In 1942, Jacqueline was serving Britain's Women's Voluntary Service when she was attacked by her own uncle, the vampire Baron Blood.

Baron Blood was defeated by Invaders Union Jack and Captain America, but Jacqueline had lost a lot of blood after being bitten by him. They rushed her to a hospital where she received an emergency blood transfusion from another Invader, the original Human Torch android. (Why they picked the robot with artificial blood instead of someone else with real blood is beyond me). The Human Torch's artificial blood mixed with Baron Blood's vampire blood granted Jacqueline with super powers!

Fire-related powers? No. Just super-speed. She joined The Invaders and called herself Spitfire after the British war planes used on the period.

After the war ended, Spitfire retired from "superheroing" to marry nobleman Lord Crichton. Desiring a quiet life, she lied to her friends that her powers were fading away with her age. Years later, as a widow, Spitfire assemble Namorita, Captain America and the new Union Jack, Joey Chapman to aid the original Human Torch and Namor who were captured by the villain Master Man, therefore creating the New Invaders. Jacqueline was badly wounded in the battle and only survived thanks to another blood transfusion from the Torch, which this time caused a chemical process that de-aged her until she gained the appearance of a 16 year old girl (COMICS!).

Youthful again, Spitfire returned to the Superhero scene. She and the new Union Jack had a romantic relationship, but they broke up over the age difference.

Pfft. Like age difference ever mattered to Thor, Cap, or Edward Cullen.

LUNA

Luna Maximoff was the child of mutant and sometimes Avenger, Pietro "Quicksilver" Maximoff with Inhuman, once Fantastic Four member, and member of the Royal Family of Attilan, Crystalia "Crystal" Amaquelin. She was born the same day the hidden city of Attilan, home of the Inhumans, was transported to the Blue Side of the Moon to escape Earth's deadly pollution. She was therefore baptized Luna after her birthplace.

The crossing of Mutant and Inhuman genetics, however, canceled each other and Luna was born powerless. At first, Quicksilver was appalled in having a flatscan for a daughter (Flatscan is a derogatory term mutants use to refer to normal humans. Yup. Pietro is racist), he proposed to expose Luna to the Terrigen Mists, which give the Inhumans their powers, but was convinced otherwise. Years later, however, when his sister Wanda decided to depower 98% of mutant-kind, Pietro was desperate to have his powers back, and decided to expose himself and, why waste the trip?, the then Six years old Luna to the mists. Luna now has the power to manipulate people's emotions at will.

Luna was a centerpiece character in the mind-bending, full of time-travel shenanigans Avengers saga known as "The Crossing". In the beginning, Marilla, Luna's babysitter, was approached by Tuc, a fortune-teller, who warned her that she would soon suffer a horrible death. Tuc was actually Luna's brother from the future, who was trying to save her. Marilla is murdered and Luna is a witness but, being just a baby, she can only identify the murderer as "the bad man". The bad man turns out to be Tony Stark who was brainwashed by time-traveler villain Immortus to destabilize the Avengers. Later, a dying time travelling teenage Luna from the future warned the Avengers about Immortus plan and that they needed to recruit teenage Tony Stark from the past to defeat the present adult evil Stark...

If that sounds like a mess is because it was! It took almost three retcons for things to make sense again.

Fun fact: In the alternate universe Earth-98, Luna grew up and, under a rebellious adolescent phase, called herself "Spike"

There is another character named Luna in Marvel Canon: A Captain of the Vampire Nation. She only appeared twice so far, during the Fear Itself event.

THE CELESTIALS

Nobody knows from where the fuck the Celestials came from or what the fuck they want, not even the Watchers! And the Watchers know everything! What we DO know is that the Celestials are old. Fucking old. And they like to play God. They've been experimenting with races on Earth and Space, creating the Aztecs, the first terrestrial superhumans, and the Skrulls, among others. Why? NOBODY KNOWS!

The Watchers and the Asgardians are against the Celestials mysterious agenda. The Celestials told them to eat shit and kept doing their thing.

If an "experiment" "fails" on their standard, whatever it is (NOBODY KNOWS!), the Celestials send a special Celestial to wipe out the entire "failed" race of cosmic Guinea Pigs and go back to the drawing board. Thor witnessed one of the Celestials reapings, and said that it was "to great for even an immortal to grasp". So, a mindfuck. The Celestials entire history and reason of being can be described as a mindfuck, to be honest.

In short, the Celestials are mysterious, all powerful, everlasting, massive assholes!

Twilight and her "Displaced Paranormal" friends debuted in DP7 #1 in November, 1986. She met her unfortunate fate in DP7 #26 in December, 1988.

Jacqueline "Spitfire" Falsworth was introduced (and retconned) into the Marvel Continuity in Invaders #7 in July, 1976.

Luna Maximoff was born in Fantastic Four #240 in March, 1982.

The Celestials have been fucking with the Universe before its very existence, but they were first introduced to Marvel readers in Eternals #2 in August, 1976.