Life of the Average Human in Equestria

I sat on a stump, breathing heavily.

What happened a few hours ago was not good for me, but it wasn't exactly my fault that I had to hit Rainbow Dash. She bashed my face into the ground and I nearly died! I had no choice, I had to at least leave her unconscious, but I couldn't because I'd lose the only actual friend I have here, according to Applejack.

I sighed heavily, glancing at the forest.

I had no clue where I was in the forest, I was lost, but I didn't care. I just wanted to get away from everypony, I wanted to cool off. Sometimes I never get this chance, but now I do. I had all the time in the world to do what I wanted out there, but they would look for me, and I might have gotten caught.

"I miss Earth." I said to myself, tears welling up in my eyes. "I miss Sam."

I wasn't going back to Earth though, I knew I couldn't. If there was some type of direction that could have lead me back to my friends, I would've followed it, but because of the circumstances there, I wouldn't get anything. All these ponies hated me for some reason, they wanted me dead. Most of them anyways.

"I'm so alone." I said to myself sadly, looking at the ground. Tears dripping from my chin and nose like raindrops.

I cried for a few seconds until I heard a growl coming from the bushes around me.

I looked up and saw two yellow, glowing eyes staring back at me. They were predator eyes, like a wolf's.

My eyes widened as the creature left the bush and came into the open.

It looked like a wolf, except the difference was that it was made out of wood. It had sharp, wooden teeth and saliva was dribbling from its mouth. It was obviously hungry, and if I didn't turn around right then and there, I would've been its dinner.

I ran through the forest, ducking under low branches, jumping over tree roots, diving through bushes, it was all happening because of a wolf. A wooden wolf.

I stopped and turned around, breathing heavily.

The wolf slowly followed behind me, growling at me loudly.

No, I thought, I'm not going to run from a wooden wolf, I'm going to fight.

I look around for a weapon of some sort, but I couldn't find one in time because the wooden wolf launched itself at me, bearing its sharp teeth.

Luckily, I dodged out of the way fast enough, but I didn't think that would happen a second time.

I take a few steps back, raising my fists. I looked around again, and spotted a big wooden club. It was roughly the size of my leg, from the looks of it at least.

Then suddenly, the wolf jumped at me again, sending itself fly towards me.

Instead of dodging, I grabbed onto its forelegs and threw it at a tree. It yelped loudly as its body crashed into the tree, landing on its side.

I quickly ran towards the wooden club and picked it up. It was really heavy, took almost all my strength to get it ready to swing at the wooden beast across from me.

I stopped breathing for a moment, focusing only on the wolf. By now, it was off of its side and ready to pounce at me, glaring at me as if it was my mortal enemy.

Within seconds, the beast pounced, and I swung the club.

I heard a crack as I hit the beast, sending it flying at yet another tree.

I looked over my shoulder, glaring at where the wolf landed, but instead of it having yellow glowing eyes, the eyes were black, lifeless pits. It had a crack in its head, probably where I had hit it with the club.

When I confirmed it was dead, I walked the opposite direction of the beast, more cautiously this time. Wouldn't want to be attacked by another one of those things.

Back to the real issue, I wish I hadn't almost killed Rainbow Dash. Mostly because that has been more evidence that am a threat to all of Ponykind, but there's also the high chance of everyone at Ponyville hating me. Aw shit, I really fucked up.

I hanged my head, and sighed sadly.

"I need a hug or something like that." I said to myself, tears threatening to role down my face.

"Well I can give you one." A very familiar voice said behind me.

No, no, it can't be her. Can it? I thought.

I turned around and saw the familiar face of someone I loved dearly. It was my girlfriend, Sam.

I put my hands over my face as tears of joy rolled down my cheeks and to my chin.

I couldn't help but smile at the sight of my beautiful girlfriend.

It's really her, I thought, Oh my god, it's really her.

She started crying to, that smile of hers growing bigger, happier than before.

I rushed over to her and gave her a hug, giving her a kiss on the cheek too.

"How did you get here Sam?" I asked, running my hand through her soft hair.

"I didn't want to leave you behind, so I told Gavin and Knowa to go on ahead. When I got back to where you were, I saw the giant beast laying on the ground, with a hole in its stomach." She said happily, giving me a heartwarming smile.

"Ok, but this place is weirder than I thought Sam," I started, giving her a small smile, "This place has talking ponies that don't like humans for some reason and want me dead. I met one princess so far, her name is Luna and she gets into your dreams, and tries to kill you. I figured a way to stop that because in my head, I am a God, and when Luna enters, you scare her off." I finished with a comforting smile.

"Well," she said thoughtfully, "that is a lot of weird info. I guess I'll remember it for later."

I nodded, giving her one last hug.

"Want to go meet the pony who saved me... from..." I stopped mid sentence, tears welling up in my eyes again.

"What's wrong Jack?" She asked, giving me a questionable look.

I took a deep breath and said, "I got into a fight with one of the ponies, her name was Rainbow Dash. She attacked me and beat my face in with her hoof. So I punched her across the face with my fist and choked her. I would've killed her if it weren't for my friend Applejack, telling me what would happen if I did. She said 'the world would plunge into chaos and nopony would like you at all'. I believed her and let Rainbow Dash go that once. Then I walked into the forest to cool off for few minutes, but got attacked by a wolf made out of wood and I had to attack that. Then I ran into you and my world couldn't have gotten worse from there." I did my best to catch my breath after that long time of talking.

"Wow," she said, giving me a worried look, "Are you ok after all of that? I mean, you do have all those bumps and bruises on your face." She said, gently rubbing my cheek.

"I'm fine," I said, giving her a reassuring smile, "I just can't help but feel guilty for hurting somepony, even though it wasn't my fault."

"Well I don't care," she said, giving me a hug, "Because I'll love you no matter what, even if you do hurt ponies."

"Thank you, Sam." I said, hugging her back.

We both stood there for a while, hugging each other tightly. Not wanting to let go, but we had to leave the forest or things worse than Manticores and wooden wolves will come after us.

"We got to go, it's almost nighttime." I said, pulling out of the hug.

"Alright," she said, giving me a kiss on the cheek, "Show me where these 'talking ponies' are."

I nodded, and headed out to where I thought Ponyville was.

We soon reached the edge of the forest, looking out over Ponyville.

Sam stood there, wide eyed at the beautiful sight.

"You have the same expression I had when I first came here." I said, giving her a joking smile.

I walked out past the stone floor, signaling her to follow me. She noticed me waving a hand in front of her and saw that I had waved several times.

We soon entered Ponyville when I told her, "Keep your head low, there are ponies that will turn you in for money."

She listened to my warning and stuck her head into her shirt.

After a few minutes of walking cautiously through Ponyville, we made it to Black Night's house.

I knocked on the door and heard Black Night's voice behind the door, "Go away! We don't want any visitors."

"Black, it's me!" I yelled back, giving Sam a sheepish smile.

"Jack?" He asked, hoof steps coming from behind the door.

"In the flesh." I responded sarcastically.

I then hear the sound of many locks unlocking, the door being pulled open, revealing Black Night's face.

"Hey Jack. Ho-" he stopped mid sentence and his eyes darted to Sam. She smiled sheepishly back at Black Night.

"Who is this?" He asked, giving me a stern look.

"Oh! Um... Black Night, this is my girlfriend, Sam. Sam, this is the pony who saved me from getting kidnapped." I said, giving both of them a smile.

"Hello Black Night, nice to meet you." She said, giving another sheepish smile.

"Same here." He said, giving me yet another stern look.

"Who is it?" A voice behind him called out.

I looked over his shoulder and saw my best friend here, Moonlit.

Moonlit's eyes widened as he saw me, and a smile slowly crept across his face.

"Jack!" He yelled, running at me and jumping into my arms, "I thought you were gone, I thought I wouldn't see you again."

"Moonlit, I'd never leave a colt like you." I said, giving him a reassuring smile.

I looked over my shoulder and saw Sam cooing at the sight of me holding Moonlit.

"Who's that?" Moonlit asked, giving me a questionable look.

"Oh yeah. Um... Moonlit, this is my girlfriend, Sam. Sam, this is my best friend on this planet, Moonlit." I said, giving a smile to both of them.

"Hello miss." Moonlit said, giving a big grin to Sam.

"Hello." She said back, giving him a small smile.

Then there was a few awkward moments of silence, neither side wanting to break the silence. I sighed and finally asked, "May we come inside Black?"

He glanced at Sam and then back at me, a thoughtful look on his face.

"Fine, come in. Here's the thing though, we have visitors." He said, giving me a worried expression.

Suddenly I didn't feel confident about entering the house. The word, "visitor", worries me. It could possibly be a guard, or worse, one of the princesses.

At the thought of it being one of the princesses made me want to leave. Even if it was a princess though, why would she kill me on sight? I mean they're talking to a family with a colt in the room. They wouldn't do that. Right?

I was released from thought when I heard Sam say, "Come on Jack!"

I just nodded and entered the home, worried that I may get killed, but also worried that I may be arrested.

Black Night turned and entered the living room, a small smile across his face.

"Well my Elements," He started sadly, "Here's the supposedly dangerous human, with his supposedly dangerous girlfriend."

Well, that was not good. Going to be a whole lot of trouble after this, I knew it.

As I entered the living room, a loud gasp filled the room. The gasp was even louder when Sam entered the room.

I viewed all the peers that gasped and spotted Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, a lavender pony with a horn and wings, a white coated purple mane Unicorn sitting on a couch, and a yellow coated, light pink mane Pegasus.

When Rainbow Dash saw me, she looked away, possibly still mad at me for nearly killing her.

I just sighed and walked over to a two-seater couch.

As I sat on the couch, Moonlit jumped on my lap, snuggling into my stomach. He was so adorable.

Sam came after, watching the group of ponies cautiously.

"Hey Jack." Applejack said, shooting me a smile.

"Hey AJ. How's it going?" I asked, looking back down at Moonlit.

She walked over to me with a sad look on her face and whispered into my ear, "Not so good. I told them about ya after ya attacked Rainbow, and they were mad at me for not tellin' them before."

I eyed the group of ponies closely, scanning for hatred. My eyes landed on the lavender pony with a horn and wings. She glared at me angrily, a frown on her face. I gave her a shrug and a confused look but that made her frown deepen.

I looked over to Applejack who saw that the lavender pony was frowning at me.

"Hey Twi, stop staring at'em, your scaring them." She said, a worried look on her face.

The lavender pony stood up, and made her way over to me. She didn't look happy but I really couldn't blame her. I nearly killed one of her friends.

When she reached me, she stuck her face in mine, glaring into my eyes.

"Listen," she said, giving me a frown, "You do not, and I repeat, do not try to kill my friends! She may have attacked you, but that does not give a filthy human like you the right to nearly kill her!"

By now, she was pushing my head back, giving barely any room to breathe.

"You want to hear the truth, or are you going to keep screaming at my face?" I asked, giving her a questionable look.

She frowned, giving me a angry look, not taking her eyes off of mine.

"Fine. Let's hear it." She said sternly, not taking her eyes off me.

"Well," I said, giving her a cocky look, "Your friend, Rainbow Dash, came up behind me and shoved my face into the ground. I asked in these exact words, 'What the hell Rainbow Dash?', but she said 'Shut up!' and slammed my face into the ground. I turned on my back to face her and she beat my face in with her hooves. Now, this is where I got mad. You see, I was nearly dead to where my skull pushed into my head, until I luckily had a rush of adrenaline that saved my life. I raised my fist and punched her off of me, and I knew that if I didn't choak her, she would come back to me and kill me. I would've killed her if your ever so caring friend, Applejack, didn't stop me. She talked me out of it by the way. But you want to know the worst thing about that problem? The worst thing is that I'm being blamed by Rainbow Dash that I nearly killed her, even though she attacked me first and beat my face in and I nearly died without fighting back."

I breathed heavily after that long sentence, looking at Rainbow Dash with a incredibly pissed off face.

The pony in front of me looked over her shoulder at Rainbow Dash, giving her a dishonest look.

"Is this true Rainbow Dash?" She asked, looking at her expectantly.

Rainbow looked at the ground, scratching it with her hoof.

When she didn't respond, the lavender pony spook up, "Rainbow, is he telling the truth or not?"

"Um... he kinda is actually." She said, giving Applejack a small smile.

The lavender pony turned around and gave me an apologetic look.

"Sorry." She said with a sheepish smile.

"You don't have to be, it's Rainbow's fault anyways." I said, giving another angry glare to her.

"Well, if it's her fault, maybe we should have her say, 'Sorry for nearly killing you', instead of being stubborn and not saying that." She said, giving Rainbow a stern look.

Rainbow Dash noticed this and her ears flattened against her head, she had an apologetic look on her face.

"Rainbow?" I asked calmly.

"Yes?"

"Please say you're sorry." I said pleadingly.

She sighed and said, "I am sorry for being a jerk and nearly killing you. Happy?"

"Very." I said with a cocky smile on my face.

We stood there for a few minutes in silence, neither me, nor Rainbow wanting to say anything.

Suddenly out of the blue, we both jumped at in surprise as the pink party pony yelled, "Yay! Now we can have a 'Sorry-For-Nearly-Killing-You' party!"

I clutched my chest, heart pumping like I've ran a mile without stopping.

If that's the way she's going to be around me, I'll die before I reach thirty, I thought to myself.

"Pinkie?" I asked calmly.

"Yeah?"

"Don't ever yell like that next to me ever again, I nearly had a heart attack just a little bit ago." I said worriedly, giving her a joking smile.

"Ok, see you guys later! I'm going home." She said, hopping out the door.

"I gotta go too, it's getting dark. See ya'll later." Applejack said, trotting out the door.

The white coated pony probably left already. What was her name? It was Rari-something. I don't know.

"I'm going too, Spike's probably getting worried that I'm not home yet." The lavender pony said, slowly walking out the door.

"Um... I'm going too, if you don't mind." The yellow Pegasus said, flying slowly out the door.

Then there was Rainbow Dash who was still sitting on the couch, her eyes filled with tears.

By now I just felt guilty. I didn't want her sad or anything, but she did attack me first. Doesn't mean I shouldn't say sorry back

I sighed heavily, looking over at Rainbow apologetically.

"Rainbow, I'm sorry for what I did. I could have just knocked you out but it didn't seem like you'd give up so easily, but you put me in a life-or-death situation. I just wanted to say sorry for not stopping after I punched you off of me." I said, looking at the ground.

She just sighed heavily, walking towards the door.

When she reached the door, she turned around and shot me an apologetic smile.

I smiled back, nodding slowly.

When the door closed, I heard a sigh of relief come from my lap.

I looked down and forgot that Moonlit was still sitting there.

"You ok?" He asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. This all happened in like, four days. It's been stressful, but I'll manage." I said, giving a reassuring smile.

"Yeah, well, where will I sleep?" Sam asked, a questionable look on her face.

"You'll sleep where you're sitting." Black Night said, a comforting smile on his face.

"Ok," I started, "It's been a very stressful four days for me, and I'm tired. So I'm going to bed. Goodnight." I said, leaving the living room and heading upstairs. Moonlit followed me to the bedroom and hopped on the bed when I opened the door.

I walked over to the bed and got comfy as I could possibly get.

"Goodnight Moonlit." I said quietly.

"Goodnight mister." He responded softly.

I closed my eyes, and let out a huge sigh of relief as I knew that I got four of the ponies to like me. Two more, and I'll be safe from execution.