Life of the Average Human in Equestria

This dream was the most quietest dream I've had yet. No Luna, no nothing. Just a calm, indoor dream.

I was sitting upon a chair near a fireplace, the smoke rising through a chimney. Every now and then, the wood cracked and the room got warmer. It was like watching an hourglass, calm and boring. I wanted a simple dream that night, one with little action, but this was just going too far.

"Hello." A voice behind me said.

I jumped up with a yipe, looking at whatever said those words. I was surprised to see Luna without her armor, looking back at me with a smile spread across her muzzle.

"What the hell do you want?" I said, giving her a large frown.

"We wanted to say we're sorry for nearly killing you." She said, giving me a small smile.

"Really?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"We are. We want to apologize for our attempt. Princess Twilight Sparkle has informed us of how honest and truthful you are, but that doesn't mean we trust you." She said, giving me a stern look.

"Why not?" I asked, giving her a questionable look.

"Because, " She started, slowly making her way towards me, "Your kind has a history of death and cruelty, and now there's two of you. We don't believe you could be different from the ones before you, but Princess Twilight Sparkle gives us hope."

Is that the lavender pony? Princess Twilight Sparkle?, I thought. I rubbed my head and sighed with realization.

"What exactly did she say about me?" I asked, giving her an expectant look.

She looked at me in confusion, tilting her head to the side to emphasize it.

"Why?" She asked.

"Well, she was talking to me a few - let's say - hours ago in real time." I said, a cocky smile on my face.

"Alright," she started, "She said you were not at all threatening when she spoke to you. She said you showed civility. What I mean by that is that when she yelled at you, you didn't show any signs of aggression, and that you also spoke calmly about the real issue at hand."

That was a lot of good compliments from a Princess that I just met. I couldn't believe it. A Princess putting her trust in me. I didn't doubt the fact that I'd be friends with everyone, but I think that Princess Twilight was a bit too much. I didn't mind it though, it's just that-

I was cut short of my daze when something tapped my shoulder. I spun around and saw a violet coated pony with a green mane. She had a grape vine tattoo thing on her flank too. I really didn't think I had control of this dream.

"Hello. Um... Who are you exactly?" I asked, giving a sheepish smile.

She just looked up at me, a smile spread across her face. She didn't respond though.

"Quiet type. Ok, let's play a game. I ask a yes or no question, and you nod or shake your head. Got it?" I asked, giving her an expectant look.

She nodded.

"Great! Um... Do you exist in the real world?"

Nod.

"Alright. Do you have a special power?"

Nod.

I rubbed my chin, deep in thought. I couldn't decide what to ask next, so many choices, not all important. I guess I could've asked her about herself or I could've asked her about what she did. So many questions. I came back to my senses when I realized another question I could ask. A question that would ask of what her power is.

"Does your power have anything to do with nature?"

She stood still, placing a hoof to her chin. She was lost in thought for a few seconds, then - Nod.

"Ok, that's good. Do you control nature?"

Nod.

Ok, I had enough questions. The dream was ending too. The background was getting darker.

"I'll see you either when I wake up, or someday." I said, giving a soft smile.

She waved her hoof goodbye as she was eaten up by the darkness.

When the darkness came to me, I could have sworn I heard the words, 'See you later' come from it.

I heard the soft breathing of Moonlit next to me. My eyes slowly opened, adjusting to the brightness of the room. Still the same old room, not a thing has changed. Well, maybe a few dust particles landed on things but that didn't matter.

I sat up in my bed, stretching and yawning. I was tired for sure, I usually didn't wake up this early. It wasn't exactly unusual, but it wasn't quite normal either. It was kind of in between. I didn't care much though, just wanted something to think of while I waited for the sun to rise. Did I ever mention that the moon was still out? Yeah, it was still out, peeking its shining light through our window.

I rubbed my eyes, trying to get them to adjust the darkness. Once they did though, I was shocked to find that I was being eyed by a beast that had two legs that were both different. One had a lizard's leg and the other had a goat's leg. Its arms were like that except that one arm had a lion's arm, and the other, a griffon's claw. Its eyes were the worst part. Those eyes were yellower than the Sun itself, the redness of the iris frightened me the most.

Me and the beast stayed like that for a few minutes, both looking into the other's eyes. I broke the silence and asked, "Who the hell are you?"

It gave me a blank look, eyeing me from head to toe.

"I was going to ask the same." It said, giving me a grin.

I couldn't help but frown at the beast. It was hideous. I'm not sure if everypony agreed, but in my opinion, it was vile.

"You should answer my question first." I said sternly.

"Oh fine, be that way. My name is Discord, Spirit of Chaos. Now who are you and what are you?" He said, pointing one of its claws at my chest.

I rolled my eyes and said, "My name is Jack. I'm not a spirit or anything if that's what you're getting at."

"Oh please. I would never think that. You're too... non-magical for me to believe you're a spirit of some sort." He answered, a small grin spread across his face.

Another awkward moment of silence passed through, leaving him with an expectant look on his face. I sternly glared at him and eyed him closely. I think he was waiting for me to respond or something like that, but I didn't. We stayed like that for few more seconds until I spoke up again.

"So, what do you want exactly?" I asked, giving him a questionable look.

"You're an anomaly to the ponies, so I thought I would pay you a visit. You see, I think we could be friends, you and I. We could do fun things like play pranks on the Elements of Harmony, or fight dangerous beasts like Timberwolves. I could also prove that you're no threat to Equestria." He said, giving me a mischievous grin.

A Spirit of Chaos wanted to be my friend. Jesus Christ, I thought this world couldn't get any weirder, but now I see it always can. I may have been a bit harsh on judging this world but I really can't blame myself, it was weird and creepy.

I shrugged and said, "Sure."

His smile grew larger, making me feel utterly uncomfortable. If he was going to be my friend, then he had to stop smiling like that.

"Discord, stop smiling and get out. I need to sleep." I said, pointing at the darkness outside.

I couldn't bear another minute with him in here. He was just so goddamn annoying, he was so creepy too. If I let had let him stay here, he would've watched me sleep, which is uncomfortable for me.

"You're no fun Jack. See you in the morning." He said, his smile turned to a frown.

I sighed with relief as he snapped his fingers and disappeared. He was odd, very odd. I don't think that I'll ever get used to him. Though it didn't really matter at the time, I wanted to know why he wanted to befriend me. I guess I could ask Twilight about it, but I don't think she wanted to see me. I guess I'd just see how the day went in the morning.

As I closed my eyes and laid on the bed, I could hear a rooster yell its famous shout. Which, of course, made my eyes snap open. I didn't know how, or what happened, but it was suddenly daytime. An anomaly at its finest.

I sighed in annoyance as I got up and out of bed. How does there be Moonlight one minute, then Sunlight the next? I may never know.

As soon as I got out of the bed, I could see Moonlit already at the door. His adorable smile was facing my way. I couldn't help but smile back.

"What's up Moonlit?" I asked jokingly.

"Nothing much, just about to head downstairs for some food. Want to come with me?" He asked, giving me a knowing smile.

"Sure." I responded, walking out the door with the little colt.

Now I'm no role model for kids, but I think that Moonlit is starting to be like me, with waking early and all.

I hadn't a clue what was going on downstairs, but by the sound of it, it was serious. There was yelling, screaming, and the sound of - Oh my God - Discord's voice.

I rolled my eyes and slowly walked downstairs with the little colt. He looked frightened, his eyes were widened, his limbs were shaking, and his teeth were chattering. All the signs of horror. He patted him on the back to calm him down, but that made him even more frightened.

I sighed softly to myself, hopping that he'd get over it when we got downstairs to Discord.

When we reached the living room, I was shocked at the mess. Tables were flipped, dishes were broken, knives were in the walls, and paintings were scattered across the ground. I couldn't see Discord or Sam anywhere. Then, all of sudden, a pie was thrown at my face. I wasn't surprised that it was from the now laughing Discord.

"Sam! Did you see that?!" He said, still laughing hysterically at me.

I then heard laughter come from behind me and saw Sam taking cover behind a couch, of course, she was also laughing hysterically.

"Sure did! That was hilarious!" She said jokingly.

I didn't exactly know how they met, or why the living room was a mess, but this was not acceptable.

"Stop!" I shouted, "This room's a mess! We need to clean this up before Black gets down here and chews us out."

"Oh Jack, lighten up. It was only a little fun." Said Discord, "Besides, at a snap of my fingers this room would be clean and seconds. Just watch."

I stood there, waiting to see him fail at attempting to do magic. Everyone knew magic wasn't real, it couldn't-

"See?" Discord asked knowingly.

My jaw was on the ground. I could not believe my very eyes, the mess was actually gone. Well, if magic's real, then this world is the weirdest place I've ever been on in my entire life. I mean seriously! How?!

"How did you do that?" I asked curiously. I really had no clue how he did that, although... I did see Luna shoot lasers.

"Why, it was simple magic. Oh wait, you don't know what magic is, do you?" He asked, obviously knowing the answer.

I rolled my eyes and nodded.

"Well my friend, get your notebook and pencil because you're going to learn." He said, snapping his fingers.

All of sudden, I was dressed in school clothes with a notebook and pencil in my hands. How the actual fuck did this happen?

"My friend, magic is what we Equestrian folk use as a source of our livelihood. Everypony has magic in them, even simple Earth Pony's. You see, I have something called, 'Chaos Magic' in me. Only draconequus' like me have this magic, all others though, have Normal Magic. Boring if you ask me. The difference between Chaos Magic and Normal Magic is that Chaos Magic can only cause chaos and discomfort to somepony, while Normal Magic can do that and be used as a way of life. It's a very long explanation to how magic works, so I'm going to stop here." He said, snapping his fingers again.

When I looked at what I was wearing, I couldn't believe it. I was wearing my clothes! Holy shit! Magic is real I guess.

"By the way, you have a very funny girlfriend." He whispered into my ears, a small grin creeping across his face.

I frowned at him, annoyance in my eyes. I couldn't believe he actually said that. How embarrassing.

Soon enough, Black Night entered the room and froze. His eyes were fell on Discord.

"What the hell are you doing here Discord?" He asked, getting into a pouncing stance.

"I just wanted to see the humans is all, so calm down." Discord responded with a joking smile.

Black Night sighed with relief and got back to his standing stance. He eyed Discord closely, making sure Discord wasn't pulling any tricks.

"Listen Discord," Black started, "I want you to leave and never come back. If you do, I'll make sure the princess knows when to turn you back into stone."

At that, Discord flinched and shuttered for some miraculous reason. Probably because the thought of turning into stone was not the best of ways to go.

"Oh fine, I'll go." He said, a smug smile spreading across Black's face. "On one condition." Then the smile was gone.

"What is that exactly?" Black asked curiously.

"If I leave, you can't tell the princess sisters about our 'issue' here and you have to give me a chance if I ever show up again. Deal?" Discord asked, a very smug look across his face.

Black Night thought for a while, looking up. It was like that for a long while. I was getting bored, Discord was getting bored, Sam was getting bored, I mean Jesus Chri-

"Deal." Black Night said, a small grin on his face.

"Good. See you guys later." Discord said, waving his claw at us.

We waved back and smiled. Discord's pretty cool once you got to know him, although he did make it awkward upstairs last night.

I stretched and yawned, eyeing the door closely to make sure that Discord left. I cracked a smile and headed towards the door.

When I reached it, I grabbed Moonlit's pencil and signaled him to follow. He did so and trotted over to me.

"Bye dad!" He yelled, waiting to make sure his dad heard him.

"Bye Moonlit, have a good day at school." Black Night replied, louder than usual. I guess he thought that Moonlit was a ways away.

Me and Moonlit walked off the property and towards the school. I practically knew this town like the back off my hand. If I got lost, I would just simply ask for directions. Easy as pie.

While we were walking, we heard footsteps come from behind us. Now, I'm not saying hoofsteps I'm saying footsteps.

I looked over my shoulder and was surprised to see Sam following us. She saw that I was looking at her and she jogged over to my side.

"What are you doing Sam?" I asked, giving her a questionable look.

"I just wanted to walk with you guys." She responded rather quickly, a sheepish smile spreading across her face.

I shrugged it off though, not wanting to know what happened after we left. Sam was acting very strange though, more nervous than anything. I could tell by the way she was looking at me. I could feel her eyes boring into my back, but every time I turned around, she looked away. Something was off, so after we dropped Moonlit off, I was going to ask her what was up.

It took a few minutes but we finally reached the school. Every time I go near the school, all the little colts and filly's stared at me. It made me nervous to think of what they were thinking.

When me and Sam waved and said our goodbye's to Moonlit, we were back on the road.

It was quiet for a while until I remembered what I was going to ask her.

"Hey Sam?" I asked, waiting for her to reply.

"Yeah?"

"What's up with you today? You're acting all jittery and shy around me for some reason." I said, emphasizing the question with my hands.

The only time she acts so shy and nervous is when she asks me- oh. Now I knew why she was acting that way.

"Hey Sam?" I asked, again waiting for her response.

"Yes?" She replied nervously.

"If you're going to ask me on a date, then you're going to have to do better than that." I said, a joking smile spread across my face.

She chuckled sheepishly. "Heh, heh. Yeah, um... I was going to ask myself but I didn't know when the right time was." A sheepish smile grew wider as she finished her sentence.

I sighed, looking back at her with my ever growing smile. She was still as beautiful as a sunset. Her eyes were greener than grass, hair was smoother than silk. I couldn't say no to a date with her.

"Where do you want to go?" I asked her, looking around to see if there was any restaurants for us.

"Want to go to Sugarcube Corner?" She suggested, giving me a hopeful look.

"What's that?" I asked, giving her a confused look.

"You don't know what Sugarcube Corner is? I've been here for a day and I know that place. It's the giant gingerbread house that Pinkie always goes to." She said, pointing at the confused Pinkie Pie sitting next to me. How the hell did she get over here without me hearing a single hoofstep? I swear Pinkie can defy the laws of physics and gravity.

"What's going on?" The confused Pinkie Pie said, looking between me and Sam.

"Sam wants to go to Sugarcube Corner for our date, but I don't know. What do you think Pinkie?" I asked, unsure if I should've asked her for her opinion on where we should go in the first place.

"Well..." she started, raising a hoof to her chin, "You could always go ask Rarity on where to go, but I highly suggest Sugarcube Corner. I work there and I could make you two heart shaped cupcakes." She said with a large smile.

I think she wanted for me and Sam to go too. I thought this because she had a hopeful look in her eyes.

I sighed and ran my hand through my hair.

There were two decisions but it was hard to pick the best one. Go to Sugarcube Corner, or ask Rarity for advice. I didn't know which one to choose so I shrugged.

"I don't know." I said wonderingly, "I can't decide. So what I'm going to do is let Sam decide on where to go."

Sam looked at me in confusion then soon realized what I had suggested for her to do.

"Sugarcube Corner." She said excitedly.

"Fine, but I want it to be calm." I said, looking over to Pinkie Pie, "Did you hear me Pinkie? I said I wanted it to be calm which means nopony else is allowed to interrupt our date unless it's an emergency."

"Aye, aye, cap'n!" Pinkie said, saluting me as she did so. She soon dashed off towards what I believe was Sugarcube Corner.

I rolled my eyes and faced Sam. She was walking towards me calmly, a lot less jittery than before, then wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me into a kiss. I couldn't resist it, mostly because I didn't want to resist, but she had locked her hands too. I could feel her soft lips pressing against mine, pulling me deeper into the kiss. We stayed like that for a few minutes, until she pulled away.

She pressed her head against my chest and sighed comfortably. She was cute. Really cute.

When we started walking home, I could tell she was still nervous for tonight. It's been a while since we went on a date together, so I'm sure I forgot what to do too.

Once we reached the house, I quickly got ready for my date.

I sat upon the couch utterly bored out of my mind. It was seven o'clock and Sam was still getting ready. I didn't know why she was taking so long but I couldn't blame her. Besides, she was probably just as nervous as me. I was worried that she was hurt or something until I heard footsteps coming down the staircase.

I looked over my shoulder and my eyes widened at the beautiful sight. Sam had a rose red dress on with a yellow dandelion in her hair and some nice glass shoes. Kind of like Cinderella.

"Ready?" She asked patiently, giving me a curious look.

I nodded and walked to the door. As my hand wrapped itself around the door handle, I paused for a moment and took a deep breath. I was extremely nervous about tonight. What would I say? How would I act? These two questions went through my mind as we walked down to Sugarcube Corner. Sam noticed me acting strange and asked, "What's wrong Jack?"

I looked over to her nervously and took another deep breath. I made eye contact with her and said, "I'm extremely nervous about tonight, especially when I don't know what to say and how to act. I'm nervous that I'll screw up our date and ruin our relationship." Ok, first of all, that last part was the 'over exaggerating' part of my brain, but the first was the side with common sense. I could screw up the date by saying something absolutely stupid and embarrass myself in front of Sam. The mere thought of that happening made me more nervous.

"We're here!" Sam shouted excitedly, a happy smile on her face.

I pulled my eyes up, only to see a giant gingerbread house that was the size of a local supermarket. It looked good on the outside, but it was even better on the outside.

As we walked in, we received a huge whiff of the desserts that were being made by the one and only, Pinkie Pie. Pinkie looked over to the door and her eyes fell on us. A huge smile spread across her face and her eyes lit up.

"Hey guys! Glad you could make it!" She yelled across the room.

She trotted over to us and brought us over to a table. The table looked like it was prepared and waiting for us. The seats were larger than the rest of the seats there, the table was taller than the other tables, and there was forks and knives. All of these things were different than the other tables, probably because Pinkie wanted this to go just as well as we wanted it to go.

As we sat down, cupcakes instantly popped out of nowhere, and Pinkie's smile grew wider. Me and Sam looked at each other then back at the cupcakes. We shrugged and started digging in.

I swear this world has some type of artificial sugar because those cupcakes tasted better than the ones back on Earth. The cupcakes tasted like someone took a bunch of cookies and cake then shoved it into a small, delicious, hybrid cupcake.

Although we wanted more, both of our stomachs were full of cupcakes. We thanked Pinkie and left Sugarcube Corner. Note to self: Always go to Sugarcube Corner on a date with Sam.

As we were walking home, I couldn't help but notice the large, glimmering moon in the sky. Sam noticed it too, and we both came to a stop to admire the moon.

"Hey Sam?" I asked, looking down at Sam.

"Yeah?"

"Who's your favorite singer again?"

As those words left my lips, she turned around and faced me in confusion. She didn't know what I was going to do, but I knew perfectly.

"Bruno Mars. Why?" She asked, still giving me a confused look.

I made eye contact with her and smiled. Then I started singing, "Just The Way You Are". My throat was soar after that, but it was worth it. I wanted this to be special.

Once I was done, she ran up to me and gave me a big hug. She was extremely happy that I sang her a song, happier than I expected. All-in-all, it was still the best night I've had in years. She was happy and I was happy.

We pulled out of the hug and started home, Sam still holding my hand.

We soon reached the house and knocked on the door.

"Coming!" A voice behind the door said. Most likely Moonlit's because it was high pitched.

Then, of course, we waited for all the locks to unlock. It took a while but soon the door opened and revealed Moonlit.

He looked up at us in confusion, probably because he didn't know we went on a date.

"Where were you guys? I thought you'd be home once I got out of school." He said, cocking his head to the side like a confused dog.

The school hours here are longer than the school hours back on Earth. When I say, "longer", I mean two hours longer which I believe is way to much time being stuck in school.

"We went on a date while you were at school." I replied softly, doing my best not to yawn. I couldn't help it though. Right after I finished the sentence, I yawned loudly.

"Ok, while you two are still here, I'm going to bed. Goodnight!" Moonlit said, giving us a wave with his hoof as he trotted over to the stairs. Once he we heard his bedroom door close, me and Sam entered the living room and sat next to each other on the three-seated couch. It was comfortable, yet very sturdy.

Sam relaxed her head against my shoulder and sighed softly. She closed her eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep. Once I thought she was asleep, I'd go to sleep right next to her. I heard dreamland calling my name, causing my eyelids to become heavy. I was comfy, I was happy, I felt safe. I was happy with Sam next to me. Then my eyelids slowly closed, causing me to fall asleep slowly. I yawned one last time then leaned my head back. Everything was nice and quiet. Everything was sleeping. I was sleeping.