It had been awkward, and that’s about all they got out of it.

It was supposed to have been a swinger’s party, or an orgy, or some kind of wild sexual party of some kind. However, instead of a room full of gorgeous people indulging in wild sex, it was a range of mostly middle aged people with slightly over weight bodies acting as if they were desirable. Some wore fetish wear which just made them look that much more ridiculous, especially the fat men.

There were a few younger people, and a couple of women who were decent looking, but when Rarity stepped in the room, there was a noticeable pause as everyone took her in. Whereas the best of the women at the party might be considered “attractive”, Rarity at a minimum was “stunningly hot”. All eyes were upon her, even though she had the most clothes on in the room, in her simple white dress. They all stared just long enough to make her feel incredibly self conscious before people realized they were gawking and tried to go back to whatever else they were doing and pretend they didn't all want to immediately include Rarity in their activities.

Spike felt a mix of pride for being with the hottest woman, and also awkwardness because of how the attention was obviously lopsided and singled Rarity out in both good and bad ways. Some of the women obviously felt jealous, and a lot of the men wanted Spike to not be there.

It wasn't the case that people were casually fucking and sucking all over the room, like some pornographic representation of a swinger’s party. People were drinking wine, and chatting, and caressing each other sexually. However, there was surprisingly little outright sex happening. Later, when Rarity and Spike spoke to one of the organizers, he explained that really the idea was to create the possibility of sex, but that most normal men don’t spend eight hours being hard continuously, so the heavily edited scenes one might come across in a video simply weren't possible.

Rarity and Spike felt awkward and uncomfortable as they tried to make the best of it for about an hour. They chatted to some people, men and bisexual women approached Rarity to try and woo her away from Spike, but both Spike and Rarity stopped short of actually participating in anything sexual. One man came up and asked them questions about who they were and what their relationship was like, and it seemed almost like an interview. Another woman came over and subtly indicated that she also thought she was above the party, though Spike and Rarity didn't think so. She was attractive, though a bit older, and nowhere near in Rarity’s league.

It was about an hour before they felt they could leave without it being obvious that they were completely disappointed. They did not want to be insulting to the people there, even though they felt it was a pitiful scene.

In the car on the way home, they laughed at various individuals and how ridiculous it all seemed.

Then, in bed at night, the problem resurfaced.

The whole reason they had tried to go and find an orgy or swinger’s party to attend was because Rarity was unsatisfied. It wasn’t that she was interested in group sex in particular, but she felt something was missing. In the years that they had been together, she never climaxed when she had sex with Spike, though sometimes she came close. There was just enough potential in their sex life that they felt they must just be lacking some detail, some small thing that excited her.

Spike had no problem getting off with Rarity. She was every man’s fantasy, and her willingness to do whatever Spike asked left nothing to be desired. The problem was entirely on Rarity’s side. It wasn’t that she wasn’t happy with Spike or willing to try anything, it was that she didn’t know what she wanted. It had always been that way.

They had met at the end of high school, when Rarity transferred in during Spike’s first year. She was two years older than him. All the guys went after her aggressively, and even fights broke out. Somehow, Spike was the one to woo her, mostly by being the most sensitive to her feelings. While most guys postured and posed, trying to impress her with accomplishments, Spike was the one willing to listen and talk, and do small acts of kindness of her. Over time, these things won her over.

Although Spike graduated high school after her, he went to college in the same city, so they continued dating without any interruption. Near the last year of college for him, Spike proposed, and they stayed engaged until they both graduated. Although Rarity was older, she went to a special college for fashion and design, so her time was longer than Spike, who got an MBA. In the summer following, they got married and had been married for three years.

Spike knew that he had a truly precious woman. She had no equal, and if they broke up, it would be impossible to find a woman who had the same combination of stunning beauty, charming personality, and engaging intelligence. He also had no illusions that it was not quite the same for Rarity. She was approached by men constantly, and even the wedding ring on her finger hardly slowed down the regular parade of men, and some women, offering themselves to her.

Although losing Rarity was something that Spike kept in mind because he was intelligent and rational enough to see the situation for what it was, he was also so devoted to Rarity simply because he genuinely and honestly loved her. That it was hard not to love a woman like her was beside the point. He thanked his lucky stars that everything had lined up so that the woman he would fall for and marry was so amazing.

It wasn’t an unbalanced relationship. Even a woman as stunningly beautiful as Rarity could become less lovable if she just took Spike for granted and only took out of the relationship. Rarity was not that type of woman, though. She loved Spike back, and noticed that a lot of the men who pursued her just wanted to fuck her and her huge tits, and most of them probably had personalities that she would hate. Spike not only tried to please her like a lot of men might, but she could sense in him his genuine affections. He was sincere in what he did, and that was a rare thing. Rarity reciprocated with her feelings too. She genuinely loved Spike, worked to make him happy too, and she would never think of cheating on him. She would always politely turn down the men who hit on her by saying that she was already in love. Nothing made Spike more happy than those occasional times when he would overhear Rarity turning down another man’s approach by proudly declaring her feelings for him.

With the two of them so devoted to each other, the marriage was almost perfect. Spike worked at a consultancy company that helped with business efficiency. He worked Monday to Friday with more or less regular hours, with occasional overtime. Rarity worked in her very own fashion boutique at a department store.

The boutique job was something she got during college, and she kept it for the extra income, but after college her main goal was to pursue modelling, which was inevitable given her looks. Everyone always asked her if she modeled or was an actress. Strangely, however, although everyone agreed she was stunningly beautiful, it was difficult to get modelling work. Modeling jobs fell into two different areas. On one end was the high fashion and catalogue work, which Rarity was often turned down for. She was too busty, curvaceous, and physically toned for the kind of thin cat walk model body type that dominated that area. She was told more than once that women wanted to see attractive women, but not women that made them feel too inferior or that were too sexual in their image. On the other end of modelling work were the type of photo shoots for men’s magazines, and while she was in high demand for that, every job offer she got was always one step away from being asked to go further and do something more extreme. They wanted her to pose naked, they wanted her to get into pornography, they wanted her to fuck someone or give them a blow job on the promise of getting her a break into show business. Rarity was resistant to all this kind of work because she didn’t want to end up as some kind of whore.

Spike often joked that she was “too beautiful for modeling”, and that seemed to be the case. She still got some modeling jobs that suited her, but after a while she accepted that she would be able to do so much and not more unless she was willing to compromise herself. However, with Spike providing a steady and stable home life, she didn’t feel a need to make any compromises, and was happy with the situation. She was home often enough that she also took on the role of home maker, often doing the cleaning and helping make dinner for when Spike got home. Sometimes she would work a little late at the boutique or get a modeling job that would have her out until late or on weekends, and when that happened, Spike happily did whatever housework or prepare whatever meal was necessary. Their life was balanced, and Spike and Rarity found plenty of time to be together.

Since they were both young, they chose to live in an apartment close to the center of the city where they could be near the action. They had a medium sized apartment on the third floor of an apartment block in a relatively nice neighborhood. They liked to go out to concerts and clubs together, and often had meals together at nice restaurants.

It was a loving, stable, happy, mutually loving marriage. It was almost perfect. The only element was Rarity’s dissatisfaction in the bedroom. The hardest problem to solve is not knowing what one wants, and that was Rarity’s problem. She was no prude, so she was willing to experiment. They tried a little light bondage, some role playing, sex toys, and other things in order to find just what it was that Rarity wanted. None of it worked. Rarity felt worse about it than Spike did, because she wanted for him to be able to satisfy her, and she knew that if she could just say what it was, he would do it in a heartbeat. Her inability to express it, to know what it was, made her feel like she was letting him down, despite his assurances that he was willing to keep trying to the end of time for them to work out what was wrong.

As the years went on, they broadened their range of what they would try. They went to couple’s therapy, twice, and both times the therapist pronounced them the happiest couple they could find and could only suggest to keep an open mind and keep trying.

And so that is how they ended up at the swinger’s party. They both knew before they went that they probably weren’t too interested in having sex with other people, but they were desperate to try new things to see if maybe something somehow triggered a response in Rarity. Maybe watching other people or being watched. Maybe just being in a room with sexual energy. If all else failed, if somehow group sex really was it, then they were going to find out.

However, they had done the experiment and the results were in.

“Was there anything about tonight at the swingers party that you liked?” Spike asked hopefully as they arrived home. “Anything at all that might give us something to go on?”

“I did like the fact that everyone wanted me,” Rarity said. “I liked being desired. It’s just, no one there was appealing enough for me to want to let them close.”

“So you want to be wanted,” Spike said, “but not by just anyone.”

“No, I want to be the woman everyone should know”, Rarity corrected, “but I’m only going to actually let certain people have me.”

“I hope I’m one of those people!” Spike laughed.

“Of course darling!” Rarity giggled, and they hugged, her massive breasts being squeezed between them.

A few weeks passed after that event, and things got a little bit worse. Rarity’s frustration reached a new high. It felt as if even considering the idea of having sex with someone other than Spike was the most extreme thing she could think of. She was willing to do something that extreme to try and break through whatever it was inside her that held her back, and yet even that didn’t work. She felt like she had run out of options.

Rarity became a little distant, and Spike could easily sense it. At first he just left her alone, knowing that maybe she just needed some time to bounce back. He knew what she was feeling, but he knew they had been facing this issue since the very beginning, and so they would get back to trying again. However, this time she stayed frustrated for a little longer than usual, and Spike sensed this time was different. This time she had hit a new low of frustration.

“It’s okay,” Spike said one night two weeks later, “We’ll get through this.”

“We’ve been trying for years!” Rarity said through tears. “What if I just can’t orgasm? What if I’m just destined to not ever feel it?”

“I love you no matter what,” Spike said, rubbing her back comfortingly as they sat on the couch together, “Maybe we put to much importance on the sex.”

“Easy for you to say,” Rarity snapped. “You get off all the time because of me. You’re satisfied. You don’t know what it’s like to always feel like you’re just on the verge of something but never being able to get it.”

“That’s a bit unfair,” Spike said, “You know I want you to get there as much as you do. I’m just saying that maybe we put too much pressure to be some kind of perfect couple in the bedroom. Everything else with us is so perfect, it feels some how out of balance to let sex be the most important thing.”

“You don’t get it,” Rarity said, and she stood up because she had too much energy to stay seated. “You just don’t know what it’s like for me. Look at me,” Rarity said, as she held her arms out to show her perfect body to Spike. “Everyone always talks to me like I’m this perfect sexual fantasy. The modelling jobs I get are all about the sexual image I portray. All the attention I get is all about sex. I feel like I’m some kind of joke, where I can have all the sex I want, but I can never actually enjoy it. All my life, I get treated as if I should be having incredible sex all the time, and I can’t help that it’s made me expect that to be true.”

“I don’t think you’re a joke,” Spike said, “you are perfect, as far as I’m concerned. Forget about everyone’s expectations. I know that if we love each other, we can make it happen.”

“It’s not just about how everyone has built me up,” Rarity said, pacing. “The frustration is physical. Every time we have sex, I feel like it builds up inside me, and then it doesn’t get released. I think it adds up, because it’s getting harder and harder to look forward to sex. So it’s like my body is saying the same thing to me that everyone has said my whole life. You should be good at this, you should enjoy this, this should feel good. My own body expects me to have great sex, and yet somehow it still doesn’t happen. Sex is important because it’s not just all around me, it’s in me as well. I need to solve this, and I just can’t.” Rarity put her hands to her face and cried. Spike stood up and put is arms around her.

“Just say what you want to try next.” Spike said. “You know I’m behind you 100%”. Rarity pulled away.

“Aren’t you hearing what I’m saying,” Rarity said, almost screaming. “I’m out of ideas. We’ve tried everything. I want to give up but I can’t because I want it so bad. There’s no where else to go!”

“So what do you want me to do about it?” Spike said, raising his voice, “I’m trying to help you!”

“Don’t just say you’ll do anything,” Rarity said, “You always say you’ll do anything. You’ve always said that, and it has never got any better!”

“Are you saying it’s my fault now?” Spike yelled. “What the hell do you want from me?”

“Nothing!” Rarity said, “You don’t understand how it feels. You can’t! Nobody can!”

“So you want to give up then?” Spike asked, with accusation in his voice, “No more sex?”

“What if I said yes?” Rarity said. “What if I said no more sex? How would you feel being with the perfect woman that you can’t fuck?”

“That’s just being ridiculous,” Spike said. “We’ll keep trying. There’s no reason to stop.”

“Easy for you to say,” Rarity said with sarcasm, “You get to keep getting off. It’s great for you while I have to keep being frustrated.”

“That’s not what I’m trying to do!” Spike said. “If you want to take a break from sex, then we’ll do that.”

“I don’t mean a break,” Rarity said.

“Then what do you mean?” Spike said loudly.

“Never mind!” Rarity said, “You don’t get it! You can’t get it! Just leave me alone!” Then Rarity turned and stormed out of the living room. Spike stood listening, wondering if she was going to go into the bedroom to be alone. He couldn’t hear much for a few moments, then he heard a rattling as Rarity grabbed an umbrella, and immediately after the front door open and close. Spike stepped into the small hallway between the living room and the front door, and noticed that Rarity had put on some shoes, but not taken a jacket with her. It was raining and cold out, so she would probably be back soon, since she was just wearing a T-shirt and jeans.

Author's Note

If it is not entirely clear, this happens six months before the events depicted in the previous chapter.