The Curse of a Better World

“What can I do for you?” Twilight asked politely. She didn't sound surprised; it took me a few seconds to remember that we looked just like normal citizens.

“It's hard to explain,” Pinkie said. “Can we come in?”

“Alright.” Twilight stepped aside, and I felt as though my heart was melting at the sight of the room. Maybe it had taken this picture for me to finally realize the reality of this moment. I was in Equestria. Even more, I was in one of the nicest looking buildings I had ever seen, with the breathing embodiment of my favorite fictional character of all time.

“We need your help,” Pinkie began. “We're new to this... town, and we... uhm...”

“We come from another world,” I stated bluntly, cutting her off before she could attempt to deflect from this fact. She gave me an irritated glance, but didn't contradict.

Twilight's look bounced between us. “If you say another world, do you mean it in the literal sense? And if so, how and why did you get here?”

“Uhm...” I watched her nervously, waiting for any sign of anger or annoyance. “Yes and no idea. We just arrived.”

“I'm not sure I believe you,” Twilight simply said. “Can you explain more?”

“Well...” I realized that it might have been a good idea to prepare for this conversation beforehand, but then again, I had always intended to simply be honest. “I was at home, about to fall asleep, when I was suddenly... standing on a hill on the outside of Ponyville. I... I always wanted to be here, so I think something must have made my wish come true, but... I have no idea how.”

“If you say you always wanted to be here, you must have known of our world.”

“Yeah.”

“How?”

“You know what movies are, don't you?” Pinkie asked.

Twilight's gaze switched to her. “No.”

Pinkie did a double take. “But... you do have, you know, a name for moving pictures that are stored inside of a device – right?”

“No.”

“That's not important,” I cut her off once more. I knew why she thought movies existed here, but I had a much easier time accepting that not every asset of the show was reality. “The point is, this universe...” I wanted to make a gesture with my hand, but realized that I couldn't, so I just continued, “it's a fictional story in our world. Like a book, just in a different medium.”

“A movie.” Twilight guessed.

“Sort of, yeah.”

“Do they not have cutie marks in your world?”

I winced slightly upon hearing that; I hadn't spend a single thought to cutie marks since we got here. Would we ever get them? Maybe you had to be born a pony for it to work?

I pushed the thought aside. That was something to deal with later.

“Uhm... no, we... actually, we weren't ponies in our world. We had completely different bodies.”

“Oh.” I winced slightly, but to my immense relief, Twilight still sounded friendly when she continued. “If you say you know of this world from a story... does that mean you know specific things that have happened?”

“The story doesn't seem to be accurate,” Pinkie mumbled, before I could say anything. “We've already seen that things we expected to be here aren't.”

“Things that you expected to be here,” I corrected her, trying to do so in a neutral voice. “But that doesn't mean no episode is real. We could just retell a couple...”

“Do you think someone made a selection and only took the good ones?”

“Maybe, or rather only the ones which make sense.”

“There's no way...”

“Or maybe only Lauren's ideas are reality.”

“You mean the Nightmare Moon arc?”

I hesitated. “I think the Ticket Master is a better idea.”

“I don't... well, never mind. Go ahead.”

“Right.” I turned back to Twilight, who had been following our exchange attentively. “Okay, so... did you ever...” I forced myself to ignore how awkward this question was and just continued, “receive two tickets for a high society event called the Grand Galloping Gala, and everyone of your friends wanted one?”

“No,” Twilight simply said. “But the Gala does exist. I just never wanted to go.”

“Well...” I turned to Pinkie. “This might confirm what I've been thinking. Only the things that make sense are reality.”

“But the Ticket Master does make sense.”

“Well, in terms of plot, more or less, but the premise was... well, she could've just asked for more tickets.”

“Okay, so which episodes do you think work?”

“Uhm... ... give me a moment.”

I tried to go through all of the Season One episodes chronologically, considering each of them.

“Okay... did Applejack ever try to harvest a large portion of the apple fields in an unreasonably short amount of time, only to get tired and cause all sorts of problems?”

“No.”

“Oh...” Disappointed, I tried to come up with an even more plausible one, but now that I was under pressure, I couldn't even remember which one came next.

“Did Fluttershy ever catch the attention of a famous photographer who wanted to make a model out of her?”

“No.”

“Dammit...” I bit my lip, and I could feel my hopes fading. Perhaps just the original design was reality, and everything the show had added wasn't.

“Did Applejack and Rainbow ever have a big competition about which one was the better athlete, resulting in a race which both of them ended up losing?”

“No.”

“Mh...”

Maybe, I thought, it was better this way. If we wanted to live in this world, maybe it wouldn't be fair to know personal details about other ponies lives. Although, that was probably just my way of trying to cover up my disappointment.

I made another try. “Did Applejack and Rarity ever have to stay here overnight during a big storm and you turned it into a slumber party; but they couldn't stop fighting and so it didn't really work out?”

Twilight blinked. “Yeah.”

“Really?” In an instant, all of my disappointment vanished.

“Yes. But I don't think that proves anything.”

“Sure, but was it your first slumber party ever, and did you have a book called 'Slumber 1-0-1: everything you always wanted to know about slumber parties but were afraid to ask', and did you play truth or dare and Rarity dared Applejack to play dress-up, and AJ dared Rarity to go outside and get her mane ruined, and... did they end up having to sleep in the same bed and woke you up because they couldn't stop arguing, and then, uh... ... uhm...” I stopped myself before I could say anything about the tree; I felt like that would be pushing my luck. “... ... well, that stuff? Did it happen like that?”

“I think so,” Twilight said, now looking confused more than anything else. “I don't remember it exactly, but I think most of that... or maybe everything happened. I do have this book.” She blushed slightly. “If you don't mind me asking, why are all of these things about me and the girls?”

“You're the main characters. Well, you are the main-main character, but your group of friends are the main cast. And Spike, more or less.”

“Okay...” Twilight seemed to be unsure of what to say next. “So, if I'm getting this right from your conversation, your story seems to be divided into parts which you call episodes, and one of them was about our slumber party?”

“Yeah,” I said, somewhat nervously. “Well, we didn't... know you were real, so we couldn't know that it's... you know, an invasion or your privacy.”

“Of course... I was just wondering, how many of these are there?”

“Uhm... I think twenty-six times three plus thirteen, that'd be... ehm... seventy-five minus... seventy-two... eighty-five? I think eighty-five. No, wait, it's seventy-five plus three, so... ninety-one.”

“Ninety-one...” Twilight mumbled.

“Yeah, but most of them don't seem to be true.”

“Right.” Twilight thought for a moment. “Let's see if you find another one.”

“Uhm... right. Sure.” I scoured through my mind for a second hit, but this time, Pinkie was faster than me.

“Did Rainbow Dash ever get stuck in the hospital after she broke her wing in an accident, and started reading because she was bored?”

“Yeah.” Twilight's face lightened up. “That was just a few weeks ago. And she's still reading the novel.” She nodded towards a bookshelf. “Right now she's somewhere in the seventh book.”

Pinkie gave me a satisfied smirk.

“Yeah, that was a great episode.” I smiled when I thought back to it. “And it's completely plausible. Well, except the break in. Did she really break into the hospital?”

Twilight nodded.

“And did she really wear a stealth suite?”

“A... no.” Twilight laughed. “That wouldn't do much with a mane like hers.”

“Well, exactly. It made no sense in the episode. But that also made it hilarious. So...” I gave Pinkie a look while I was talking. “I think this means it not only chose plausible episodes, but even cut parts from episodes if they don't make sense. Whatever 'it' is. So, I'm guessing that also means no tree fell into your home during the slumber party?”

“No.”

“Then, what happened when you all went to sleep?”

“Mh... well, Rarity and AJ wouldn't stop arguing, and I couldn't sleep. So, I was angry, because I wanted my first slumber party to be special, and they ruined it for me. When they realized how much they had hurt my feelings, they apologized and we talked it all out. In the end, we stayed awake for the better part of the night, just talking about all kinds of things.”

“And that wouldn't make a good episode.” I nodded. “Yeah, it all fits.”

“Alright. I'm still not sure if I believe you, but I'm definitely interested to hear more.” Twilight made a gesture towards the kitchen. “Do you like tea?”

“Totally.”

“Not really,” Pinkie said. “Do you have coffee?”

Twilight nodded. “I'll make you something to drink, and then I want to hear about your world.”