Pink Elephants in Ponyville

Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie cheered, raising their wooden pints filled to the brim with cider in a magnificent toast celebrating their victory. They had just run the rascally Flim Flam Brothers out of town after their product had proven to be poor quality, and the town was celebrating. Big Macintosh was rolling another barrel full of freshly made cider over to the pump, with Applebloom waiting to serve the next customer. Beside her sat a small hill of Bits, with Granny Smith attempting to count each bit one at a time and failing as the hill slowly grew into a mountain. Applejack grinned triumphantly, watching as every member of her exhausted family still pressed onward to provide the best service possible to the denizens of Ponyville.

After going through a whole barrel by themselves, the day was starting to come to an end as the sun lit the area in a brilliant orange glow. Applejack took another gulp of cider, wiping away the foam and sighing. "Ahh! Jes what ah needed. All that work got me so thirsty ah could drank an ocean!"

Twilight placed her pint on the table, turning to the orange mare in a serious manner. "Applejack, you can't drink an ocean. It'd be too salty and make you sick on the first gulp."

Applejack rolled her eyes. "Ah know that, Twi. It's just an expression is... wait, who're you lookin at?"

Twilight giggled and pointed with her hoof somewhere in Applejack's general direction, her foreleg swaying slightly. "You, silly! Er... one of you, anyway. Stand still so I can-" she hiccuped suddenly, making her friend jump. "Point... properly."

Again, AJ rolled her eyes. She had hoped that she would be just as intoxicated as Twilight was by now, but she had grown a high tolerance to cider at an early age. She looked around the barn, seeing that almost all of the town had departed back home. Many ponies were strewn about the orchards and road, either talking to themselves, others, or sleeping in drunken stupors.

Rainbow flew over to their direction, laughing. "A.J., you've GOT to see Fluttershy! She got knocked out after two pints, and now she thinks she's a BUNNY!" She dropped to the ground, holding her sides and laughing hysterically.

Applejack looked up from her cyan friend, looking for the butter-colored mare. Sure enough there was Fluttershy, two old socks placed on her ears and a toilet brush tied to the back of her tail, hopping around drunkenly like some kind of bizarre rabbit. She had a carrot in her mouth, presumably from the nearby carrot farm, and leapt from table to table whilst wiggling her nose and nuzzling against strangers.

Applejack placed her pint down, annoyed. She didn't want to be the designated pony, but it seemed her friends couldn't control themselves after so few drinks. She huffed, "Be right back", then left to retrieve her friend.

Twilight fell off of her stool, Rainbow Dash looking down at her. The purple unicorn made a face of awe and stroked Rainbow's mane. The pegasus blushed furiously, then asked "Twi, what are you doing?"

Twilight giggled like a toddler, drool slightly hanging off of her bottom lip. "Hehe... pretty rainbow..."

Blushing even deeper, Rainbow Dash picked up Twilight by the nape of her neck, placing the drunken scholar on her back. Applejack trotted back carrying a wimpering Fluttershy, whose mouth was full of chewed up carrot chunks and cider. Needless to say, this was not their finest moments.

Applejack noticed Rainbow Dash's face was red, but didn't question it. Instead she asked, "Wanna help me get this one home? I reckon she ain't gonna want to remember bein' so.... overly-friendly... to random strangers."

Rainbow nodded, trying to hide her blush but failing miserably. "Sure. Let's stop by Twi's place first. It's closer, anyway." She looked around the area, noticing something was off. "Hey," she asked. "Where'd Rarity get to?"

For the third time tonight, Applejacks eyes rolled. "She went off with some colt she met. I reckon she'll be alright. She barely drank through her first pint before she called it quits. Said drinkin too much was 'unladylike' or something like that."

Rainbow shrugged, nearly causing Twilight to fall off her side. Applejack caught her with her forehead, shifting the purple unicorn back into a proper position on her friends back. Whilst struggling to make her drunken companion comfortable, she realized that Pinkie had vanished as well. That didn't surprise her, considering the party had started to die down a few hours ago when ponies became too buzzed to dance properly. She most likely got bored and left, so Applejack let the thought leave her and continued to help Rainbow Dash.

***

They began walking down the road, talking until sundown and further still. After they deposited Twilight at her tree house (raising concern from Spike), they began walking towards the edge of the Everfree Forest to Fluttershy's cottage.

After some silence between them for a few minutes, Applejack's thoughts dwelled back to Pinkie Pie. She turned to her cyan friend, making sure Fluttershy stayed still on her back. "Hey Rainbow? Did you see where Pinkie Pie got to? Ah didn't see her when we left the farm."

The pegasus put a hoof to her chin in thought. "I'm pretty sure I saw her leaving with somepony, though I don't remember seeing them before today."

AJ's eyebrows raised, concern growing. She was more than aware of Pinkie's over-trusting nature and need to befriend everypony, hoping she didn't do something as foalish as go to this new ponie's home after one night. "What did they look like? Where did they go?"

Rainbow thought hard. "Well, she was pink, almost as pink as Pinkie Pie. I think she said something about her family passing through town, and they decided to stop in at the party." She waved a hoof dismissively. "She's fine though. I'm sure of it."

"Are you sure about that?" Applejack leaned in towards Rainbow Dash, emphasizing her question.

Dash nodded. "Yup. I know she's a bit of an airhead, but she's not completely oblivious when it comes to strangers." She stopped for a second. "Well, she's not always oblivious."

Fluttershy started giggling, pointing towards her house. They both had somehow forgotten that she was even there! They brought her to her front door, Angel tapping his foot and staring at the two in annoyance. He started pulling on Fluttershy's mane, demanding food by motioning to his mouth.

Applejack noted that the mare on her back was asleep again then she kicked the ill-tempered rabbit away with her hind leg, making him roll backwards and unconscious . "Darn varmit, always givin' Fluttershy nothin' but trouble." Rainbow chuckled slightly.

They pushed open Fluttershy's door, walked upstairs to her bedroom, then deposited the sleeping mare in bed, tucking her in as snugly as possible. After that, they trotted back downstairs into the living room, making as little noise as possible.

Applejack removed her hat, wiping away some sweat. "Whew. She seemed light at first, but that pony up there is a lot heavier than I took her for."

Rainbow, flying to prevent making noise, floated over to the green lounge chair and laid herself out while sighing is satisfaction. "I know, right? I carried her over to the farm when this whole cider thing started, and I thought my legs were gonna give out before we got there." She pointed to AJ, teasingly. "Then again, you're in pretty good shape for an Earth Pony. If Fluttershy was too much for you to carry, then you're probably sluggish from all that cider."

Applejack trotted to the armchair, laying herself out on the seat. "Nah, it ain't that. I'm not even buzzed. It's from all the buckin' I had to do today durin' the challenge." She stretched casually. "I'm more surprised you could carry Twi all the way to her house in one piece. You Pegasi got weaker bones than any other type of pony, right? Helps with yer flyin', if'n I remember correctly."

Rainbow chuckled, hiding her aggravation. "Yeah, we may have weaker bones, but that doesn't make us lightweights! Besides I know a drunk pony when I see one. And you are definitely drunk."

The orange farmer banged a hoof on the arm of the chair, not hiding her annoyance as well as Rainbow was. "I tell ya, I ain't drunk! I got a higher tolerance to it than anypony else! Even mah brother can't drink more than me!"

The cyan mare leaned in, her fire burning as she felt a challenge rising up from her. "You wanna put your Bits where your bite is, country girl?"

"Fine by me! We got too much cider left over anyway, and we already got enough Bits to last us through three winters!" Applejack got up from the chair, extending her hoof. "Two days from now, we'll have ourselves a..." She paused in thought. "... and Iron LIVER competition!"

Rainbow returned the hoof-bump. "You're on!"

* Some time later...*

The colt peered in through the window, watching the two ponies bump their hooves in some sort of agreement. He wasn't really watching that though, as he was far more interested in the the luxuriously delicate brown vapors leaving their lips.  He looked through their flesh, tracing the thin ribbon of cider fumes down from their throats into their lightly rounded bellies, drooling as the whirlpools of cider glittered and shone like finely cut gemstones. Truly an intoxicating and beautiful sight.

He looked between the two, grinding his teeth in anticipation for this "Iron Liver" competition. Which would win? He could tell they were both equally matched, and it made him all the more giddy. The orange one would make a dependable resource, but the blue one would be much more fun to play with. His pink coat bristled with longing,  his mind silently reeling with numerous possibilities.

He faded from reality like a bursting bubble, giggling slightly whilst watching the two mares leave the cottage. Soon. Very soon...