Pink Elephants in Ponyville

Fluttershy awoke, her eyes refusing to open and her brain pounding harder than an angry, pregnant dragon in a small room. She reeled from the pain, feeling a warm liquid rushing around in her belly but too exhausted to move. Luckily, she was able to barely crawl her way out of bed and make it to the window before expelling the contents of her stomach onto the ground below.

Never again. Never ever EVER again. Her thoughts made her head pound even harder, causing her to fall over and clutch her skull. It took her a moment to realize the pounding came from her front door, and she managed to slump herself up and make her way downstairs. She opened the door slowly, every creak of it's hinges feeling like a hawks talons on a chalkboard. She looked through the fuzziness in her eyes to see Twilight, standing completely upright and with a cheery look on her face.

"Good afternoon, Fluttershy!" Twilight said happily. The greeting resonated and echoed in the yellow mare's head, amplifying itself infinitely.

Fluttershy cringed, whispering "Good after-" Wait a minute. It was past NOON? Fluttershy slowly moved her head to the right to look at her clock. Sure enough, it was 2:14 PM. NEVER EVER EVER AGAIN.

Twilight looked at her friend with concern. "Did you just wake up?" Fluttershy nodded slowly.

The purple mare smiled slightly. "Here," she said as she aimed her horn at Fluttershy. "Let me help you with that nasty hangover."

Too tired to resist, the Pegasus just stood in place, waiting for what her friend had in store. Twilight's horn went alight, coming slowly closer and closer to Fluttershy's forehead. It tapped very lightly, but felt like lightning against her coat. Her body went completely limp for a fraction of a second before tensing up, then she stood resolute as if there was no hangover in the first place. Doubting it at first, Fluttershy moved the door back and forth, making it squeak over and over. Sure enough, no pain. She squeed and jumped on her friend, giving her a warm hug.

"Oh thank you, Twilight! I don't know what I would have done if I had to deal with that all day!" She released her friend, getting serious. "I'm never touching another drop of cider or alcohol ever again! Nothing was worth THAT migraine!"

Her friend giggled. "You're welcome, Fluttershy! And trust me, I'm not drinking anymore, either. Even with the spell I just cast, cider isn't worth the pain."

Just as Twilight was finished talking, Rainbow Dash landed in front of them, with Applejack coming in from behind on hoof. Rarity, wobbling to and fro, followed suit. The white unicorn had red splotches on her coat that looked sticky and thick, and she tried to hide these by wearing a thick cloak. Unfortunately, she seemed to have forgotten to finish said cloak, as her ensemble still had frays and pins sticking out of it like a pin cushion.

She removed the cloak in an attempt to be showy, but the odd thing ended up stuck on her horn and it started tearing.

"Oof!" She grunted, her forelegs wiggling. "Can somepony help me get this off?" She said with a bit of a slur. She gasped and immediately added "But do be careful! I'm making this for-" she hiccuped suddenly. "Somepony, er, thing... I don't know. Help!"

Suppressing giggles, Rainbow and Fluttershy flew over her and lifted the thing off gingerly. The pins fell to the ground, causing the cloak to fall into ribbons of fabric.

Rarity, slightly annoyed, said "Oh forget it. This travesty isn't worth saving."

AJ had a smug face. "Your fancy tarp thang, or your dignity?"

Twilight walked over to Rarity and repeated the spell, removing her hangover. Rarity looked at herself, then screamed. "Sweet CELESTIA! My COAT!" She immediately ran into the cottage to take a shower, causing everypony to giggle.

Applejack turned towards Twilight, grinning. "That spell ya go there sure comes in handy fer clearin hangovers, Twi."

"It's supposed to be a spell to help clear negative thinking, but it seems to work for that too, I suppose."

The farmer nodded. "Say, speaking of hangovers, we got a proposition for ya, sugar cube."

A chill crept up her spine. She knew what was to be said next was a bad idea. "What is it?"

"Me and Rainbow got to talkin' last night, and we wanna know who can hold their cider better." She winked. "That spell of yers can clear any hangover, right?"

"In theory yes, but I haven't-"

"So we want you to use it on the winner of our Iron Liver competition!" Applejack said, getting excited.

Twilight face-hoofed, shaking her head. Really? After everything they've just gone through they want to pickle their livers in an attempt to see who can hold more booze? "Applejack, I'm not going to have any more to do with alcohol, even if I'm not drinking it."

Rainbow landed, a look of pleading on her face. "Aw come ON, Twilight! You're the only pony who knows how to do that spell, right? It's GOTTA be you that sobers up the winner!"

"Or you could NOT have this dumb competition in the first place!" She said, ignoring the cyan mares puppy-dog face. "Friendship may be my-"

"Uh, sugarcube, before you start on a friendship rant, c'mere for a second." Applejack motioned with her hoof.

Twilight walked to AJ, skeptical. She leaned in to whisper, "What's this about?"

"How much of last night do you remember, Twi?"

"Well, I remember Rarity leaving early to go drink wine with that foreign pony." She looked up towards the cottage, hearing Rarity singing in the shower. "After that, not much. Why?"

"Wel, ah reckon if you get to thinkin fer a bit, a certain memory'll come back to ya."

Three. Two. One. Twilight's face flashed crimson, then she glared at Applejack. "You wouldn't dare."

The farmer pony shrugged. "I know I ain't one to normally gossip, Twi, but my reputation is ridin' on this bet. We bumped hooves on it, and I don't back down from a challenge. That challenge has got to have some kinda prize, and instant hangover-removal sounds mighty fine to me." She thought for a bit. "Well, that and the Bits we wagered."

Twilight huffed, bothered by Applejacks under-hoofed tactics. She may be the Element of Honesty, but that meant she wasn't obligated to keep any secrets, as well. "Fine. I'll do it."

Applejack nodded. "Thank ye kindly, Twilight."

They heard a springing noise coming from down the road, and everypony turned to see their favorite bouncy, pink mare making her way down the road. There was a pink Pegasus flying behind her, a colt with a coat as vibrant as Pinkie's, possibly more so. They were chatting away and giggling every so often, each snorting playfully. They reached the group, the colt landing next to Pinkie laughing.

Rainbow, excited to see another Pegasus in Ponyville, walked forward with her hoof extended. "Hey there! I'm Rainbow Dash, fastest flyer in all of Equestria!". This caused the rest of the group to do their usual eye-roll.

The colt hesitantly returned the greeting. "Hi. I'm, um, Brew Brain. Nice to meet you."

Applejack trotted over to the newcomer. "Brew Brain, huh? Guessin' that means you're real into cider production."

Brew shook his head, chuckling slightly. "Not just cider, no. My family has business all over Equestria, and even beyond. We cover every single type of alcoholic beverage you can imagine!"

The two leaned in, curious. "Really, now?" They said in unison.

Pinkie put her hoof over Brew's shoulder. "Yeah! His family has a super-gigantoramically big brewing empire! He's..." She stopped to count for a bit. "Fourth in line to take charge! Not only that, buuuut" she squeeled as she pulled him in close. "He's super-incredibly-amazingly-wonderfully-undoubtedly FUN at parties!" She realized how close she was holding him to her, and backed away blushing slightly and grinning.

Fluttershy spoke up. "Gosh! Isn't that a lot of stress to take on for somepony so young?" She clarified,"The business I mean, not the partying."

He shrugged casually. "Eh. It's a bit of a hassle, sure. I've been taught how to run the industry all my life, so I can handle anything that it can toss at me."

Twilight smiled. It was good to see somepony so young already have an idea of their lot in life, especially if they enjoyed it. Now that she thought about it, she wondered exactly how young he was. He wasn't fully grown, yet he obviously wasn't a child either. She'd have to guess mid to late teens, at best.

Applejack interrupted her train of thought. "So, I reckon that if ya know so much about alcohol, you musta drank plenty then?"

He scratched the back of his head, shyly. "Oh, well, yeah. I suppose you could say that, sure."

"How much can ya handle? Three? Four pints?"

He shrugged. "I wouldn't know, really. I've stolen away a few sips, but my mother and father don't want me drinking too much while I'm learning."

Rainbow Dash smirked, unimpressed. "Come on, Brew Boy! You're gonna need to have more than that if you're wanna run your family's dynasty! Have you at least tasted cider before?"

He shook his head. "The most I've had were a few sips of wine. With dinner, of course. It goes really good with some various vegetables and-"

Applejack stuck a hoof in his mouth, muffling him. "Alright, that's enough. You're startin to sound like some fancy con-oh-sewer."

Twilight stepped forward, annoyed. "Why should he drink if he doesn't want to? He's a student, and a smart one at that. He doesn't have to guzzle down booze like some frat-stallion if he doesn't want to!" Fluttershy nodded in agreement, but not too fervently to have anypony notice her. Just then the door of the cottage opened, steam pouring out in great plumes and enveloping everypony in warm, wet air. Rarity stepped through the mist, a pink towel wrapped around her mane and matching bathrobe adorning her body.

"I'm so sorry to interu-hupt," she said in sing-song, "but Fluttershy, darling, where do you keep your conditioner?" She paused when her eyes landed on Brew-Brain, her legs completely stiff, her face as red as the wine that had been splotched onto her coat. Everypony else looked at Rarity, then Brew Brain, then back again. Backing away slowly into the mists once more, she closed the door silently behind her, making sure the handle made as soft of a click as possible as it settled back in its frame.

Pinkie looked to her new friend to see his face set in annoyed disbelief. "What was that all about, Brew?"

"She was at my house last night."

The girls gasped. Scandalous!

"With my older brother."

Rainbow pointed at the cottage, the steam finally clearing. "HE'S the reason Rarity's coat was covered in splotches of wine?" He nodded, causing the mare to fly into the nearest cloud and laugh hysterically. Brew face-hoofed, Twilight following suit.

Applejack looked toward the newcomer once more. "So, you've got a big brother too, huh? He a big drinker?"

He huffed, obviously annoyed. "Yeah, too big if you ask me. He guzzles down whatever has any sort of alcohol in it, even MOUTHWASH". He took a breath, clearing his head and regaining his composure. "He's the shame of our family; a black sheep."

Fluttershy bridled, immediately giving The Stare at the pink colt and emasculating him. "Why's it have to be a BLACK sheep, huh? Why not a red sheep, or a yellow sheep? Everypony HAS to immediately insult the BLACK sheep! It's always-"

Rainbow flew down, wiping away a tear from her laughing fit. She stopped when she saw Fluttershy giving Brew Brain a rant about the  Anthropomorphic Animal Civil Rights Act and how the color of ones coat doesn't necessarily mean the color of one's soul. She looked to Applejack and Twilight, who simply shrugged.

AJ turned to her cyan frienemy, immediately excited. "Rainbow! I think we may have a third contestant for our little wager!"

"Who'd that be, AJ?" Rainbow asked. Then she remembered. Brew's big brother. She grinned in anticipation.

Both ponies immediately ran or flew down the road with Pinkie Pie bouncing behind them. Twilight contemplated who to go with, then gave up and went in to check on Rarity.

***

"-and that's what I think of your little remark, you speciesist, color-blind, bully!" Fluttershy went to inhale, opening her eyes from screaming, then stopped when she realized that Brew Brain wasn't there anymore. Looking around, she couldn't see a trace of him. Not even a trace of a trace of him. She wondered if she was too hard on him, then started to whimper and sob a bit at the thought of being so mean to somepony she didn't even know very well.

She didn't know it, but a pink stream of smoke slinked down the road like a serpent, following the hoofsteps (and bounces) of the mares that ran down the road.

Hopefully, it wouldn't be too late to stop them.