She Won't Wake Up

I can't feel much. Being practically joined with the moon doesn't really have many benefits. Other than not having your head explode. I can still see though. Damn, I wish I couldn't. Equestria looks so small. I mean, when you're the moon, everything looks small. But Equestria just looks... small. Compared to everything out here, even I feel small. Just a tiny speck... nothing important. And I thought I was so special, when really... I was just dust compared to all this. I wish I could tell my sister I just want to go home. That's all.

But I cant.

Because I'm a monster. I tried to take over Equestria, I tried to kill my sister. Funny how now, she's the only pony I'm not mad at. It took me 500 years just to realize she actually cared about me. Forget how she basically raised me, helped me get my cutie mark, and is now raising my moon for me. Forget how she told me she loved me every night, calmed me when I was angry, comforted me when I was sad... oh Celestia...

Like I said, it's pretty lonely up here. Mostly leads me to talking to myself, or more like thinking, since I don't really have a mouth. I sometimes lose my train of thought and don't remember what I was thinking about. But the thing I look forward to most is my dreams. Being joined with the moon means I don't have to eat, or breathe or anything, but I still need to sleep. Sometimes when I do, I have dreams. Now, being the Princess of the Night does mean I am also the Princess of Dreams... or the Princess of Nightmares. But that's not why I enjoy them most. In my dreams, I can be whoever I want to be. I can do whatever I want to do. I don't have to be Nightmare Moon. I don't have to be a monster. In my dreams, I even have a friend. Her name is Starlight. We do fun things together, and nopony is pointing, or screaming. There are no Elements of Harmony to whisk me up to the moon again. I can just be... me.

Starlight makes me feel like a pony again. That was a very long time ago, but whenever I dream Starlight's adventure's turn me into a fun-loving filly, and I love every second of it. All my friends are dead now, but Starlight never ages. She's the same as she's always been. Even though I haven't aged since forever, I still feel like a totally different mare. Dreaming takes me away from the nightmare I have become... and the nightmare I am. And when my view of Equestria shifts, signaling dawn, all I can do is dream.

Dream...

The night lasts forever here. The stars are really bright though, so that's ok. I can see perfectly, and the path under my hooves is shining and smooth. Here, I can still breathe. The air tastes cool, and nice. A soft breeze drifts past and ruffles my hair, which is purple. I am just a regular pony, enjoying the night, and I like it. Starlight walks up the path towards me. Her soft blue hair floats in the breeze, its long curls brushing my face as she approaches me.

"What are we going to do today?" I ask.

"I was thinking about going down to the pond today. We could catch frogs." Starlight grins like a schoolfilly.

"And go swimming," I add. "Swimming is fun."

Starlight shivers. "I don't like swimming much. But I could, if you want."

I nod, and we continue our trot towards the pond. The stars are so beatiful, making so many constellations in the sky. And then there's the moon. When I look at the moon, I feel like i'm looking at myself. Up there, all alone... but i'm not alone. I have Starlight. And we are going to the pond, to swim. The path lights our way, and I can see the shimmering light go far into the distance, and touch the horizon before disappearing. If we keep walking, I bet we'll reach the town. If I want. But for now, Starlight and I are going to swim. The pond shines a strange silver color instead of blue. It reminds me of moonlight. No, I don't like that. I don't like that at all. The pond should be blue, the grass should be green, the sky should be dotted with clouds... but its not. Starlight looks up at me with her violet eyes and her star-shaped ears twitch with worry.

"Are you ok Luna?" she whispers.

Is that fright I here in her voice? I don't know, because the pond is drifting away. The starry sky widens and engulfs everything around me. My hooves scramble for the ground as it dissolves under them. I don't want to leave. I don't want to go. But I have to.

Because it's only a dream.