I arrived at a gun shop according to directions on my shield. It didn’t look like too much, but I guess as long as you keep the weaponry and its ammunition well organized, you wouldn’t need much space unless you had severe overstock. I tested my theory with ID and money conjuration, and to the release of a breath I didn’t realise I was holding, I conjured a small pile of hundreds and a random ID. “Nicholas E. Johnson,” I wonder what part of my imagination came up with that? Who cares, I can use it to get bullets, so what does it matter?

After walking in, I pulled out the weaponry I had and laid it out on the table in front of the clerk. “I need ammunition. I’d say... twenty five clips for each pistol, five fifty round clips for the semi, and fifty shots each for the shotgun and rifle. Can you do that for me? I can pay any price.”

“I guess ya can... if I have all’a that in stock. Uhh... Le’me go check the stock first.” The guy said, in the all too common thick southern accent that plagued about half of town. He returned after about half a minute, looking rather disappointed. “I can get ya all ya need for th’ most part, though we only have two o’tha semi clips.”

It was still more than enough. I wanted the SMG mostly to show off more types of weaponry, anyway. “I can deal with that. How much?”

He pondered my question as he sorted through the register to get a total. “Les’see... about one sevn’ty five, for the cheap stuff. I think it’d be well over a thousand if you got tha high quality stuff.”

“Either will do, I have enough money that it doesn’t matter.” I commented. “Go ahead and get me the expensive stuff, don’t tell me how much it costs, I don’t want to know. It’s not like I’ve always had this kind of money. And it’s not like I always will. So I’m going to spend it carelessly while I have the chance.”

“Very well, then.” he returned to the stock room and remained for a little bit before he came struggling out with a heavy pile of selective ammunition. “These should all work with your guns, I had a look at the model numbers, I know what stuff they all take.”

The pile of metal and encased flammable powder slapped against the table loudly and gracelessly as he dropped it.

“Cash and ID, please.” he requested. I held out the freshly conjured items to him, and as he took them, I turned around so as to not see the price. I’m sure I didn’t want to know what it was. “Your change, Mr. Nicholas?”

“Keep all the change, you need it more than I.” I replied nonchalantly. Obviously, I could conjure millions in seconds, and I’d probably be spending most of my time running around in an alternate dimension that didn’t support or exchange US currency anyway.

“Uh... Umm... A mighty thank you, sir. I couldn’t be more grateful. Umm... Take care now, y’here?” He replied nervously, unsure of what to think of my generosity.

“Will do. Spend that cash wisely, now. It’s not like that stuff can just pop up out of thin air.” I joked. ‘And the joke has a whole new meaning around me.’ I thought.

I piled the weaponry back into my backpack, and sorted through the ammunition and put it all in respectively organized places- half the pistol ammo on each side pocket, SMG clips in the rear pocket, buckshot boxes in the secondary pocket, rifle ammo boxes in the primary. I was set.

With a final wave of goodbye to the clerk- who looked about to cry of joy towards my good deed- I slung the now quite heavy backpack onto my back with ease- Alicorn strength made it look and feel a lot easier than it would have looked if I hadn’t had it. Anyway, I walked out and proceeded to my bike to ride off. After I was sure nobody was going to see me, I pulled the mental signal. ‘Ok, I think we’re good, let’s go.’

And not with a moment’s notice I was back.

Over my limp pony form.

On the burned bed.

In the Castle of Friendship.

Long walk again? No, it would be a bike ride this time.

No... wait, I think I might be able to teleport there, I can picture the area in my head now...

Just imagine that I’m there...

And... I’m there? No, here? Hmm, I didn’t expect it to be that simple...

Oh, wait...

“God damn it I feel like puking now...” I explained out loud.

Before I gave a few dry heaves.

After I recovered from that, I triumphed to myself, ‘HAH! That STILL did not break my no-puke streak!’

I looked around to take in my surroundings, and found I’d teleported back into the guest bedroom. Figuring I had nothing better to do anyway, I dismounted my bike and stepped out to see if I could wander my way to the range.

Needless to say, wandering got me nowhere, and by nowhere I mean I was in a maze of hallways with no idea where I was in it.

“Back already, Sam?” I turned around to see Celestia finish addressing my arrival.

“Yeah, but I can’t figure out these halls. If not redesign the layout, somebody needs to at least label directions to key areas.” I deadpanned.

“After a few centuries, you’ll figure out your way around, I’m sure.” She joked.

“Not funny, miss princess pony. Now where’s the range? I’ve spent what feels like half an hour trying to find it now.”

“Just follow me again and you’ll find yourself there soon enough. Those things sticking out of your saddlebags and pockets are the weapons in question, correct?”

I pulled out one of the pistols and held it out to her for a moment before pocketing it again.. “Yeah, I got a few different types so I could show you different traits brought on by different designs.”

“Hmm, I grow more curious the more you speak of these weapons. We should hurry along, I’ve already informed Luna of your intentions and Stellar came with to have that discussion you promised. They should both be at the range by now.” Celestia informed.

“Ahh, I can hit two birds with one stone then.” I joked.

“Please don’t use those jokes in public, other ponies might find them sickening.” She deadpanned.

For about five minutes, silence settled as we made our way. “So, anything from the sudden carnivorous intake you had earlier?” I questioned.

“Suprisingly enough, no. I’ll have to look into the idea of herbivore compatible meats sometime.” Celestia seemed to slightly brighten to the idea, “I know my ponies want to live alongside animals, but more recently, the animal population is getting out of control, not even the griffins can keep it under control. Maybe pass it off as a mystery food, and ponies will eat it unknowingly?”

“I don’t know,” I claimed, “rumors about it could spread easily. Especially if chefs decide to not keep quiet about it. Maybe restrict the preparing to griffin chefs? They are carnivorous, so they shouldn’t find preparing meat dishes disgusting like a knowing pony would.”

“Hmm, yes, that should probably work. but food discussions aside, we’re here.”

“Why have all of our hallway conversations ended so abruptly?”

“I don’t know, maybe ask the destination?”

“Whatever.” I deadpanned.

We walked through the door that we had stopped in front of, to find both night princesses had been staring at the door waiting for us. “We have expected...you? Sam, you look much like you did in the dream from before, could it have been actual prophecy we witnessed, like I guessed?”

I shrugged, “I’m sure it wasn’t prophecy. Besides, I’m an SMG short to match the dream. Well, I guess I show you what these things do in real life?”

“Whatever you say, Sam. I’m sure we are all eager to see the performance of human weaponry.” Luna finished for me.

I pulled out the pistols and slapped clips into each one of them from my backpack. “These are called pistols. Most pistols are balanced between range, rate of fire, and accuracy.” I found a woven target and aimed at it, staring over the top of the chosen pistol to assure my aim. CRACK! CRACK! I unloaded two shots into the target, both hitting somewhere around two or three inches off center.

I pocketed the pistols, and reached back to pull out the SMG and a corresponding clip. “A Semi Machine Gun, or SMG for short, usually has a very high rate of fire, but most lack enough range and accuracy to do much damage from a distance.” I stuck the clip in, and flipped the safety. PUPUPUPUPOWWww. I put in somewhere around five shots, and only one of the bullets came within three inches of the center.

After re-locking the safety and pulling the clip, I stuffed it back in to grab the rifle and two bullets for it. “Most rifles are slow to reload, but if you are looking to cover long distances and cause serious damage, they tend to be the best for the job. President John F. Kennedy was assasinated by a single bullet from one. Didn’t have time to scream, if the history books tell me right.” I loaded a bullet. Aimed. POWWww... dead center. Loaded the second bullet. Aimed. POWWww. I could see light spilling through the center of the target by the hole in the center I’d made with two bullets. Hmm, maybe I’m being such a good shot because of the alicorn strength... and a sharper vision, maybe? Ahh, I care not.

“No magic... I don’t see magic in these ‘guns’, yet they could cause so much chaos if it were in the wrong hands. They’re like Discord. In the right hooves and care, Fluttershy being the example, he can be good in his own ways, but if he’s made friends with the wrong beings, Tirek being the counterexample, he can cause great harm. The only difference being that They’re magicless ranged weapons instead of a corrupt and misshapen alicorn, and they don’t have wills of their own.” Luna explained, probably more to herself than anything.

“Well, look at it this way.” I started, “They can be used by both sides. While deadly, the deadliness spreads to whoever is in front of them, and if both sides have them, then it isn’t a one-sided fight unless one side doesn’t entirely know how to use their own. While premature death happens alot due to the wars that humans have, it usually doesn’t come without a fair fight.”

“Do they really fight... that much?” Stellar had interjected.

“Yes, unfortunately.” I answered, “But never without reason. Be it freedom, religion, disagreements, you name it, it’s been fought over to the death at least once I’m sure. Also, I’m sure that seven billion people is enough to ensure that SOMEBODY will still be alive no matter what.”

“Humans crave sex that badly?” Celestia wandered aloud.

“CAN” I interrupted, immediately grabbing her attention. “Can, not do. Some not at all.”

She brought on a blush that looked just adorable on her figure. “Sorry, I was thinking aloud, sorry.”

“If that was thinking aloud, I don’t want to know what you were thinking silently.” I interjected.

Celestia flustered, and Luna and Stellar looked about to break in laughter. “Sister... for a milennia old mare... you put thought into...” aaand the dam broke.

The Night Princesses were both literally rolling on the floor from laughing so hard, leaving Celestia with an almost blue face, and me with an uncomprehending stare. “I’m not entirely sure why I started that...” I trailed off, “I’m sorry, Mother. Th...” I caught myself, and Celestia gave me an odd look.

“Uhm... Slip of the tongue?” I questioned.

‘It goes deeper than that, you idiot. Maybe soon you’ll find out.’ Samantha interrupted in my head.

The laughing had gone quiet now, all of the princesses were staring at me. “What? It was a slip of the tongue, nothing more, I’m sure.”

I then saw Celestia’s eyes water. “Do you really...”

‘Damn it, you have to know. And I’ll kill myself if I have to just so you know... my memory.’

Then something just... clicked. I felt like giving her the “Mom” title was just... right. Like she had always been since... I was banished from her body over a thousan... wait, what the f-?

--~--

Samuel was unconscious before he hit the ground. Celestia was in tears as she ran up to him. “Sam? Are you ok? Sam? Uhh... Stellar, grab a medic, I think there’s something wrong with... our prince.”

And Samantha was sacrificing herself... for the knowledge that her host needed. She knew she couldn’t work like this for much longer, the bodies would cast her out by rejection, and without her, or at least her knowledge and ability, her host would lose track of his own life in confusion. She felt truly happy for the first time in her life as an outcast soul. She was sacrificing herself to help the man she’d become nearly one with, and she couldn’t be happier to.

Author's Note

Samantha was too hard to write, and in a way, Sam and Samantha were already one. So with her soul and her memory being forced/absorbed into Sam's, that makes Sam a prince by soul-birthright, and we can confirm the reason that Celestia was so eager for a first meeting by the reaction to the new title. And being a prince with otherworldly weaponry and interdimensional ability, he's got a lot of responsibility. Also, he grows wings on his human form. I'm really just writing on a whim for the time being, and I'll probably stay that way at least until I get all the kinks and details worked out.