Might as Well Jump

Alright so introductions are in order I suppose.

I am James Kent. I am -or was- a captain in The United States Marine Corps. I was fighting the good fight in beautiful Vietnam, getting a checkup with the corpsman after a Charlie took a slash at my face with some funky blade, when a near death experience caused by an allergic reaction from some crazy meds sent me spiralling into an infinite plane of reality.

Or at least that's what my good buddy, myself from an alternate universe, told me happened.

You see, My sorry ass has kinda been shifting in between dimensions for close to fifty years now, give or take, considering my memory. I was kinda just shot out of my own reality in late '68. The weird thing? I didn't age a day since then! I've been to a place where the rebels won the civil war, a reality where everyone was the opposite gender of their own (I, by the way, am a very good lookin' lady.) One where china nuked the entire world, and the US was diminished to an irradiated wasteland, one where I traveled the country killing demons with a couple of boys named Winchester, one filled with these crazy aliens who called themselves "trolls", one with a teenaged hacker named Matt, a real tech-wiz, that kid. Basically everywhere.

This, however, was different.

Meet Alex Robertson, the antagonist in my current universe. Part time stockbroker, full time nut job. Poor sap thinks he's Odin.

"Puny human! I, king Odin, shall rain down death and destruction! It shall be Ragnarök on this sacred Wednesday! Fire and brimstone shall fall from the skies as-"

Bla bla bla, is this jackass still talking? I thought to myself as the self proclaimed "God" spoke on and on, as all villans do.

"Yadda yadda. I've heard this song and dance before buddy, but in all honesty, I've seen starfish scarier than you." I told him, loading my M4 carbine. "I mean, if you wanna end the world, why tell someone as 'puny' and 'insignificant' as me? Just do it! Oh, and you might wanna lose the look, too. Make it a bit more intimidating. You look like Clint Fuckin' Eastwood."

I racked the bolt back as he started shouting some type of Norse type language at me, I looked him in the eye one final time as I leveled my iron sights at his face and said:

"I like your cape though."