Location: Mojave Desert

???: ???

Time: ???

Status: ???

Within the dunes of this desert, there was a shallow grave of a broken down spaceship like car that was spewing smoke from it's broken windows as someone inside woke up coughing before kicking the door open to fall out, allowing the midday sun to bask in the figure's glory.

A 7' 5 Wirewolf with a mostly yellow shell in contrast to the wirewolf blue. HIs joints connecting his arms were black along with his ankles and neck, his small finger joints between his thick metal claws a blood red, his two back fins a light grey. As he opened his eyes attempting to look around, they flashed on like a computer, his right eye staying a full red while his left eye shifted to a calm blue with a contracting green pupil.

"Agh Christ, anyone get the number of that bitch?" He asked no one, his mind a complete fuzz of identity before he realized his circumstances upon spotting the flaming formally flying car. "Oh shit, oh jeez oh god oh what the shit am I gonna do?"

He panicked looking around before seeing someone on the ground. He had on a white lab coat with crazy looking hair missing his left leg.

"Oh dude! Are you okay?" The Wirewolf ran over and shook him a little. "I don't know if the cars your or mine but I need-"

He never finished as he turned the man over revealing while he wasn't responding. He was completely missing his orbital, being freed from the ground allowing it to spew out blood, dripping down his head across his dislocated gnarled jaw, to which he dropped the corpse immediately to throw up in the body's apparently open chest cavity causing it to cook what remained of the internal organs.

"Oh god that felt worse coming back up." He said stumbling back before tripping on something. As he groaning and looked to his side, he spotted a weird looking gun with a mini dome containing a little green orb. He reached over to it and pulled it up, revealing the hand gripping it belong to half of a kid with brown hair, his eye sockets only filled with fire while his teeth had been removed.

The Wirewolf screamed with a child yanking the gun out of the corpses grip before gagging then throwing up on the head, putting out the fire while also melting the head into a puddle of goo.

"Dammit I have got to stop throwing up!" He shouted. As he looked around for something to help him he spotted another weird looking small gun with three pincers. He picked it up before something spoke in his head.

'Combine them Alfreda.' A voice in his head said.

"Who was that?" He asked darting his head around freaked out before deciding to do what the voice said if it would go away. As he looked at them trying to figure out how to do it, he began to see the components come apart and where to reassemble them to fuse them, and did so with speed that surprised himself. As he turned the last screw, he lifted it up to look at his handiwork, the dome was now concealed within the gun itself while the pincers focused the barrel more. As he fiddled with the nob, fluctuating the color from green to orange, to blue, to settling on white.

"Well then. Let's see what I made." Alfreda said with a complete uncertain look before firing it at a nearby rock, creating a white portal with a dot in it's center that expanded out like an iris, revealing a lush greenfield and a town in the distance.

Alfreda was silent for a few second before pumping his fist in the air. "Space gun."

He walked through the portal and looked around surprised at how nice everything looked compared to the shithole of a desert he woke up in, the portal behind him disappearing. Alfreda looked around a little, finding a forest lined with apples behind him before seeing a big sign that looked relatively new.

"All right... So Ponyville is to the north, South Luna Bay is to the west, and Cloudsdale is... also to the north. ...Where the f*ck am I?" Alfreda yelled out utterly confused.

"Equestria if you looked at the bottom of the map." Someone said. Alfreda turned around and found himself with another Wirewolf, his shell color different shades of green, his eyes pink.

"Ok. Who're you?"

"Hi. My name's Jack. I'm as confused as you look. One minute I'm in a orgy that I can't even begin to describe how many pleasures it had, next thing I know, here."

Alfreda was silent at the explanation and simply shuffled back a little. "Okay~. My name's Alfreda, I woke up in a spaceship car hybrid with some dead bodies."

"Aw that sounds so much better then my thing."

"You're a weird guy aren't you?" Alfreda asked him before a gun pumping sound caught his ears and he felt something pressing against the back of his head.

"¿Quién eres tú? ¿Y por qué no debería apretar el gatillo?" (Who are you? And why shouldn't I pull the trigger?) A voice behind him said.

"Umm, I come in peace?" Alfreda said as a question, to which his head was blown off by a shotgun blast splattering his head all over the ground and giving the sign a new red coat obscuring some of the map. Alfreda's body fell over to reveal the perpetrator.

He was a wirewolf, his shell was Yellow like Alfreda's, in fact he almost looked exactly like Alfreda, except his eyes were orange, and he looked much much stern and aggressive.

"Hi, I'm Jack." Jack greeted with a smile as if the sight of Alfreda's brutal murder didn't just happen. "Nice gun, do you happen to speak English? If so I could use a new wingman, my old one died."

The Wirewolf put his shotgun away as he eyed Jack. "Juan Mufongo."

"You know any fine ladies?"

"No."

"Bummer."

"Yeah I don't like you already."

Before any more action could be taken further, Alfreda's body twitched as it got up and tried feeling around before slowly but surely, his head regenerated good as new. Alfreda let out a gasp for air then looked around utterly confused before spotting Juan. "What just happened?"

"Well this guy over here, his name's Juan Mufongo, blew your head off, we were talking, then your head grew back."

"Yeah thanks dumbass. I mean why did my head grow back."

"I don't know and I really don't give shit. I heard you introducing yourself to this green jackass so no need to tell me your name. But what I do want to know is what the hell are you two doing in my territory I claimed when I woke up 2 two days ago?"

"I have no idea. i Just wanna go home." Alfreda replied.

"And have fun getting the buck off my land making it back to wherever that is exactly."

"Maretropolis of Equestria or Equis 1." He immediately replied.

"Wow. Pretty quick to jump at that question." Jack made note.

"Weird, that's where I'm from." Juan replied.

"Wanna team up to go home then?"

Juan stroke his chin. "Fine. It's gotten pretty boring around here, the real owner's bound to see me mooching off the land at some point, and Someone's gotta make sure you won't kill that dumbass before I do."

"We need a team name then. How about Team Three Star?" Jack proposed.

"Ugh, terrible."

"No more suggestions from you." Alfreda added. "Let's put it on the back burner."

"So how do you plan on getting home?"

"Portal gun." Alfreda replied firing at a tree creating another portal.

"Really. You think it's gonna be that easy? There's gotta be infinity between here and home."

"You got a better idea? We'll just find a guy to pump up the juice in this thing and it'll be a leap from there. What's your rush, no one's after us." Alfreda replied stepping through the portal followed by Jack and Juan. As the portal disappeared, the only witness to the whole ordeal was Berry Punch, who proceeded to throw her mug in hooves into the river and made her way to the clinic with a path of sobriety forming in her mind.

Located near a access point to the Nexus of All Realities, was a bar, named Nowhere Yet Everywhere due to the ways one could take to get there. Sitting in a both was a large hulking demon made of sludge, with a few smaller imp like ones around him, with a large wooden Tankard filled to the brim with something that was most certainly stronger then Beer.

"Is this what has become of us Spatters? A kingdom I was to have, were it not for that infernal Shadow Blot and Solar Mare, now, here I am, drowning the pain while building up a tab I'm never going to pay." The demon lamented before downing the tankards contents in 3 chugs.

"Maybe we should've asked that gypsy to be more specific about that 'Deathless Dog' that's gonna donk up your universal domination plans before she went all Batman. At least that's what I was thinking boss." One of the imps brought up to which the demon simply stared at him for a few seconds then threw him in the tankard and downed the imp. Before it could go on any further, another full tankard was placed in front of him by a waiter. "For one Phantom Blot courtesy of the Blotling over there."

Phantom Blot looked over spotting the slender blotlings sitting up on the bar drinking a mimosa. He stood up, revealing his head to be 8' 0 and walked over to him.

"I know someone with a similar 'dog' problem if you catch my drift." He said sipping his drink, not making eye contact with Phantom Blot.

"Cut the drama I know which Sweeper you are, you're not impressing anyone."

"C'mon boss, I've been sitting here for hours drinking Red Mocha Kooler's waiting to do this all night! I'm positive I'm gonna need to ride with you guys cause the Bartender took my keys."

"Fine, whatever." Phantom Blot replied with an eyeball before raising his arm melodramatically. " 'Oh but who could possibly assist me in this dilemma in my plans I can't dispose of?' " He said faking like he was desperate.

"Booth by the door." The Sweeper replied pointing to said booth to which the Phantom Blot slithered over to see who it was, automatically able to spot the figure had yellow flames to act as hair, submerged in the shadows with only that and their evil red eyes visible.

"So what do you know about him?" He asked getting right to the point.

"He's weak, spineless, a coward in the face of danger, but back him in a corner, he might grow a pair and surprise you." The figure replied, the voice identifying them as female.

"And the Deathless part?"

"Partially true. He can die, but he won't stay dead. He was blown apart and he simply reformed in another universe. I'm offering you my help to make sure that's only a one time thing, you can conquer whatever you want, and I get to continue on with my plans for revenge on some acquaintances he would know."

Phantom Blot smiled a little as he extended a claw to her. "Deal, but I can't help but ask, how do you know so much about him, Miss..."

His claw was met by a white hoof that shook it, as she moved into the light to reveal her face and the rest of her body, an alicorn wearing some type of costume, grinning at him with a skull for a face, her eyes surprisingly regular outside of the eyes slitted eyes, and teeth shaped like incisors. "We have a history, and it's Anti-Matter, but please, call me Twilight."

Author's Note

Bam! Thus the rebirth begins. Leave your thoughts in the comments below, and this chapter is meant as the pilot/prologue, more details on Juan and Jack will be explored next chapter. For new readers that just spotted this, please read Beginning's of An Immortal Wirewolf before continuing.

Edit: Also from Juan's violent meeting with Alfreda, expect some dark humor inspired by blows such as this

(All jokes aside I'm super hyped for Doom Eternal)