Hello to everyone! I'm Thunder Rush, a new member to the brony community, as well as fimfiction. This is my first story, I hope you enjoy it!
WARNING: MILD CUSSING
Finally. After many years of horrid testing, I was able to get out of that wretched place. What was it called again? Aperture? I don't remember that much. I managed to get out, except that I was missing an eye. Luckily, I have this little robotic eye.
Anyways, here's a random story of how a stumbled into a world of talking horses, unicorns, pegasi, and dragons.
It was just a normal day at my house, shooting portals everywhere and causing mischief. My friends envied me because of this neat little portal device I had. I was hanging out with them one day when they dared me to shoot a portal deep into space, then go into it. Me, being my stupid, daring self, decided to take the dare. So, without looking where I was aiming, I shot straight up, into outer space. Portals are known to travel faster than light, so god only knows when my portal will hit somewhere. To make sure I knew, I put a portal in my room. One fast month later, the portal finally opened. I looked into it.
"WHAT." This is not what I expected at all! I expected aliens, monsters, complex technology, and other things you see in sci-fi movies! Not just some mountians, a castle, and some small towns.
"Maybe this may be some complex technology disguised as old cottages?" It was time to take a chance. I stepped into the portal. The world there looked so happy and everything. Rainbows, mountains, waterfalls, you name it. I looked to my left and saw a sign that read:
"
"Welcome to Ponyville!"
Interesting, they call this place ponyville? But...why "pony"ville? I didn't see any humans or aliens around, so I just guessed it was an abandoned place.
"Well, this place is-"
"HI THERE!!!!"
"GAH, WHAT THE ASS?!" I was scared shitless when this strange pink small horse popped up behind me. She had a really poofy mane that smelt of cotton candy, and something that looked like a tattoo on her flank that had 3 balloons on it.
This looked like that show I watch, My Little Pony Friendship is magic! But that is just a cartoon.. I don't drink alchohol or smoke anymore, so, this must be a dream. I thought to myself. Just to make sure..
"HI! MY NAME IS PIN-"
"QUICK HIT ME IN THE FACE!"
"Now, why should I do that, silly?"
"JUST DO IT!"
The next thing I knew, a felt a hard, pink hoof against my face. I felt pain, so this was certainly not a dream.
"Oh, my poor nose.." I whispered.
I got up, and that small pink horse was happily skipping around me.
"I don't know what you did that for but I'm Pinkie Pie and you don't look like a pony!"
"...Uhh....because I'm not a pony, maybe?" I responded in an agitated tone.
"Maybe my friend Twilight can help me and you out, Mr. Grumpywumpypants!"
"No, that would not be necess-GAH!"With one swift move of her head, the pink horse knocked me onto her back. Like I said earlier, her mane smelt of cotton candy, and cotton candy was something I did not like so much. ESPECIALLY the smell.
Now, I normally like horseback riding, but this was just insane. This pony-what was her name, Pinkie Pie, she said?-was skipping and hopping around the town. I saw a bunch of huge eyes just staring at me as she hopped through town. I felt awkward. And sick. I think I was going to vomit.
"Uhh..thanks for the ride, uhhh-"
"Pinkie Pie!"
"Yeah, Pinkie Pie, but I'll just walk from now on. But right now, if you'll excuse me.." I ran over to a bush and vomitted in it.
We weren't that far away when we reached the library that looked like a tree.
"This is a tree..."
"It's not just any tree, silly, it's the library!"
"Is everything here made up out of a tree?" Wait, that was a stupid question, we just strolled through town. I said this kind of quietly, so she didn't hear me.
*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*
A small, purple unicorn opened the door.
"Is anyone the-oh, hello, Pinkie Pie. Did you need something?"
"Yes! I have this wierd not-a-pony thingy that everypony was looking at because it didn't look like a pony, and it's wearing a funny costume thingy!"
I rolled my eyes, but then I noticed that none of the horses here were actually wearing clothes, so I can see why they think my clothes are a kind of funny costume. Just then, I noticed that a whole crowd of ponies were staring at me.
"OH JESUS CHRIST, STOP STARING AT ME!"
A man in a white robe with brown long hair and a brown beard with a halo appeared next to me.
"Sorry, brah, but I'm not staring at you."
"Oops, sorry, Jesus, I was talking to them."
"Is cool."
He disappeared.
I looked back over at where the pink and purple horses were standing, and the purple horse was using magic or something to hold up what looked like a book, and a jar of ink, and she was writing with a quill pen. She would occasionally glance up at me and then immediantly glance down at the book and continue writing.
"Pardon me, Twi..uhhh..."
God damn it! I already forgot the names of the characters, and I considered myself a brony?!
"Oh, wait, yeah, Twilight Sparkle, may I come in to see your books?"
The pony nodded. "Certainly".
The doorway was very small, so I had to crouch down to go inside.
"Let's see...Under R...under R...ah, here's R..."
I was examining all of the books under the R section.
"They call this place a library yet it has no Harry Potter books? What madness is this?!"
Just then, a yellow pegasus with a pink mane walked in. In the softest voice I had ever heard, she said:
"Umm, Twilight, you said you had a wierd creature in here that you've never seen before? I think I can..umm..help you see what it is."
It must have been Fluttershy.
"Oh, yes, he's right back here!"
The yellow Pegasus walked into the library. I saw its face and it's cutie mark, definitely Fluttershy. She looked around then looked at me.
"Umm...hello, there....Fluttershy?" I tried talking in the softest voice I could, but after years of screaming at my testing partner not to do something wrong so that we wouldn't die, it was hard to. My voice was still somewhat loud.
"EEK!" The pegasus let out a high pitched squeel and then immediantly ran out of the library.
A few minutes later, the five ponies walked into the library, dragging along Fluttershy. From their manes and looks and cutie marks, I could tell that they were Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, Rarity, Applejack, and probably my favorite one, Rainbow Dash. It was the main-or should I say mane (BA DUM TSH)-six standing right infront of me.
"Now what in tarnation is this..thing 'ere?" blurted out Applejack.
"Maybe it's a deformed ape?" Answered Rainbow Dash.
"I'M RIGHT HERE, AND I CAN FUCKING HEAR YOU. GOD." I took a deep breath "I guess you people just aren't used to seeing a human around here."
"So it can talk? That's kind of cool. I was actually expecting him to start going 'ooh-ooh-aah-aah'" blurted out Dash.
"Even though you are my favorite pony, you are making a fool of yourself." I muttered under my breath.
"What in tarnation is ah people? And what is ah human?"
I sighed "Right, you peo-I mean ponies say everypony and stuff instead of everyone..." My stomach grumbled. "Well, you guys are ponies. So I doubt you eat meat. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go find a cow to kill so I can have some steak."
"KILL A COW?!!? ARE YE OUT OF YER MIND?! DEM COWS GIVE US PONYFOLK MILK!" Yelled Applejack. I could tell she was angry.
"And they give us humans delicious steak dinners and cheeseburgers to eat."
I sighed. "Anyways, I might be banished from here or something if I kill a cow, so I'll just settle for...*gulp*..vegetables.." I turned my head away and whispered "Yuck."
"Ugh, yuck, why must you present yourself to us with that pathetic excuse for a suit such as what you're wearing?" Rarity blurted out.
"You listen hear and you listen closely. UNLIKE you pony folk, we humans HAVE to wear clothes over our bodies. Sister, believe me, what is under these clothes is uglier than what you see now. You're just gonna have to..."I pulled some sunglasses out of my bag and put them on."...Deal with it."
"Anyways, unfortunately, I closed the portal here on accident, so until I am able to reprogram my portal gun so that I can aim it back at Earth, where I'm from, I'm just gonna have to stay here for awhile. I know you won't really like it that much, but I'm afraid you're gonna have to just..well...deal with me. I'm sure I can teach you guys some important skills for surviving and such, and maybe even show you some games that we like to play back on Earth."
"We'll have to confront the princess about this. I don't know whether or not she will approve of this, but it all relies on what she decides." Twilight Sparkle responded.
"Do we have to? I've flown too much today already." Rainbow Dash agitatedly said.
"We will have to walk, unless this human is strong enough to pull a carriage." Said Twilight.
"I could get us there fast using my portal device." I shot the ground, and, with a little help from Twilight, shot a portal in the exact direction of where Canterlot was.
I was walking into the caslte doors when the guards' white wings sprang infront of me and blocked my path. They looked like statues and I was scared shitless.
"GAH JESUS CHRIST!"
The same man in the white robes appeared.
"You called?"
"Oh, it's nothing."
"Sure thing, brah."
He disappeared again.
After twilight talked with the guards, we walked into the royal palace of Canterlot.
Hey, just curious, were you serious about that you eat meat earlier?" Asked Rainbow Dash randomly.
"Yep."
"You're not...you know..planning to...well...eat us, are you?"
"No, I hate horse meat." I don't know if when I said that I reassured her or not, because after that, she was quiet.
A few minutes later, we stood infront of Celestia herself. She was about the size of a normal horse back on Earth. After explaining everything that happened to her, she told us this.
"I see. I have come in contact with one of your species before, he was caring for Rainbow Dash when we accidentally knocked her over to your world."
"Oh, yeah, I think his name was Rob."
"He showed us that there was kindness in your race, and because of this, I may help you. Unfortunately, my powers cannot transfer any organism that is not a pony between worlds, so until you can fix your portal device, I will have your house here in Equestria. By this I mean that I will transport your house on Earth here to Equestria. However, you must agree to follow these rules; No hurting any ponies of my kind of purpose, No teasing ponies.."
After about five minutes on being lectured about what I cannot do, I had to ask about meat.
"Excuse me, your highness, but what about meat? I can't survive a day without meat."
"Ah, yes, how could I forget, you humans eat meat as well as vegetation. Very well, you may kill cows and chickens and whatever you may need to fulfill your diet, but you must get the owner of the livestock's permission first. Do not force them to say yes."
"Understood. One last thing, where is my house located?"
"I put it in one of the many places it could fit, and it is located a little bit to the left under Rainbow Dash's cloud castle. You are all dismissed."
"Sweet. I get to live here in Equestria for a little bit."
And with that, I went home. Gee, it was later than I expected, so I went to be in my house here in Equestria, and ended my first day here in a world of talking creatures. Today was...interesting, to say the least.
END OF CHAPTER 1
So, what did you guys think? Feel free to comment below.
