Shippy the shipping ship was hottest ship Rainbow had ever had the pleasure of getting shipped on. Of course, Shippy was the only ship she'd ever been shipped on, but the point still stands.
"Oh Shippy, you're so sexy!" Rainbow said, running her hoof down the ship's bulwarks. "What did I ever do to deserve such an amazing boat?"
The ship's turbines whirred a bit in indignation.
"Sorry, I meant ship," Rainbow ammended, realizing she might've just offended the only potential love partner she might ever find. She's so alone. "I'd never think of you as a mere boat."
Shippy rocked a little in appreciation. Rainbow smiled at her lover, happy to please. She rubbed her flank against his big, hefty metalwork, glad that she'd been so fortunate to find such a loving and considerate partner.
"So, about the living arrangements," Rainbow inquired. "Do you think we should live at your place or mine?"
Shippy responded with a few bell-whistles and the occasional whir of some machinery. Rainbow sat there for a moment, thinking pensively about his response.
"Well, I know that the ocean's your home and all, but the air's mine as well. I mean, I'd be fine with you decided to convert yourself into a submarine, but-"
The ship whirred a bit more, coming a bit more alive as it corrected Rainbow's statement.
"What, no, you can't!" Rainbow shouted, desperately hugging the closest hunk of ship she could find. "You're too important to me to sink yourself! I know you might feel down sometimes, that you're not important, but you're more important than you know." Rainbow sniffed. "You're very important to me."
The ship's turbines sped up inquiringly.
"Of course you are!" Rainbow said, whiping away a tear. "Why wouldn't you be?"
Shippy slowed his whirring despondantly.
"Shippy, you're the most amazing crater ship I've ever met, and don't let anyone tell you anything different." Rainbow rubbed a hoof against the ship affectionately. "You're amazing, and you know it."
Shippy had never been a happier ship than at that moment. Rainbow's words were a bit flattering, especially for a mere shipping ship like himself. Out of all the battlecruisers and cruise liners she could've chosen, she'd decided that he was the one that mattered to her most. His boilers burned in joy.
"I love you, big guy," Rainbow said, her eyes taking on a half-lidded look. She kissed the nearest wall to her, running her tongue along the rusted metal. She would take him as he is, crusty appearance and all. None of that mattered; he was a great ship inside and she knew it.
What was somewhat flattering to Rainbow was that he'd return the sentiment so readily. A lot of ponies saw her as nothing but a sportsmare, an idealized image of physical prowess with no personality. What a lot of them failed to realize was that she was still just a mare inside, and liked being treated as one from time to time.
Shippy gave none of those misconceptions. He took her in as she was, flaws and all. He knew that she was a mare and as a mare had needs, and he was there to satisfy them rather than focusing on only his own. She was a mare, not a plaything. It warmed Rainbow's heart that he'd see her in such a manner.
"Oh baby, you're so kind to me," Rainbow said, nuzzling the ship affectionately. "Do you think we could..."
The ship's engine burned a bit hotter, growing nervous from what he figured she was talking about. Was she really about to? No, it was too soon for that! There's no way she would give herself up to him so quickly.
"Shippy," Rainbow said, tracing a hoof on his walls. "I...I want you inside of me! Now!"
Well, if she was going to come on to him so readily, who was he to refuse? He would treat her like nopony before had ever managed! He would make a mare out of her in ways only he was capable of doing, running his long, thick-
It was at that moment that they door to the UES Argo's storage bay opened. A young sailor stared at Rainbow for a moment before backing slowly out the way he came. She heard hoofbeats as he ran around the corner and out of sight.
"What was that about?" Rainbow asked.
The ship didn't respond.
"There she is!" the same sailor said, leading a small crew of other sailors down into the cargo bay. "She's a stowaway!"
"What?"
"Get her!"
The sailors jumped on her, pinning her down and slapping a length of rope around her wings. Rainbow kicked and struggled, but she was built for flight, not combat, and was quickly suppressed.
"No, don't do this!" she shouted as she was dragged out of the hold. "Don't take me from Shippy, he's all I've got!"
"Lady," one of the sailors said, puffing in exertion. "You're crazy."
"I love you, baby!" Rainbow cried out, her voice cracking in distress. "Know that I always have and I always will!"
The ship groaned in sorrow as his only potential mate was ripped from his longing bulwarks. She was his everything, the yin to his yang. What would he do without her? Would he ever see her again?
"Shippy, I'll come back for you!"
That's all he needed to hear. Despite all of his sorrow, despite all of the years that may pass as he waits for his lover to return, he had something to go for. Just like with him, Dash herself would remain a maiden until the day they could reunite and bang like happy little bunnies in mating season.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why Rainbow Dash has been keeping herself single.
