I had a real name once. Don't remember it much anymore. Not surprising as it's been a few thousand years since I last used it. Now I go by the name Booker... or Pagey... or Mr. Wordsworth... or whatever name some adorable pony has graced me with and I'm too much of a doormat to say no. Dang it, Star Swirl, did you cast some spell on your descendants or something?

So yeah, I'm one of the latest victims of the Merchant. Really should have known better when I was offered that delectable limited-edition Touhou fanbook by some guy who looked like he was ripped from a Stephen King novel, but I'm too much of a bibliophile to pass something like that up, you know? Now I'm stuck in what should be a children's cartoon show with powers that no mortal being should have and enough baggage to choke a hydra.

At least I have my books, even if I do have to beat them into submission occasionally.