Jayd in Equestria

The day began just like any other. Jayd sat at his computer, playing video-games as the birds begin to awaken and sing their song of daybreak. Jayd stretched and yawned, his hands hitting a small black lamp and knocking it off his desk. The desk sat in a closet filled to the brim with dirty clothes and boxes. Jayd sat in said closets doorway a small couch to his left covered in a small foam pad and bed-sheets. A dirty white blanket covered his shoulders. Stains graced the once pure fabric with evidence of spilled food and other activities best left unmentioned.

His short dirty blond hair itched slightly and his dirty white t-shirt would have angered him to the point of getting dressed and taking a shower any other day, but that day  Jayd was feeling super lazy. He sat on a metal folding chair next to the couch wearing a loose fitting pair of red shorts. His toes wiggled in his flip flops which protected him from the cold hard tiles and his left leg bounced, a seemingly endless font of energy.

Jayd glanced behind him as his roommates alarm clock went off, and the sun began to peak into the window. A short muscular Mexican man sat up and rubbed at his stubble. He tossed aside anime pillows and blankets as he climbed out of bed and into a nearby bathroom. Jayd listened as the toilet flushed and his friend returned.

As the roommate slowly got dressed, Jayd's attention returned to the computer screen. The frantic clicks of his mouse marked the passing of another bit of pixels into the void as he  slaughtered some poor guy who happened to be playing this particular MMO at six in the morning.

"Well, I guess I'm heading out, you should hit the sack killa." The roommate said as he left the room and closed the door behind him. Jayd glanced over past the now closed door at the wall of posters. Each woman graced the scene before them with full frontal nudity. But Jayd was not impressed.

"See ya later Dudeman!" Jayd uttered his fingers nimbly flying across the keyboard.

Suddenly the universe decided to show mercy on the poor soul who Jayd had been pushing to ragequit. The internet died and Jayd's face contorted in untold fury as he smashed the buttons his keyboard hoping to evoke response as the error message delivering a promise of defeat flashed across his screen.

"CURSE YOU INFERNAL CONTRAPTION!" Jayd whispered just barely above the minimum audible levels of human hearing. Although the pure, unrepentant malice, and rage laced into the statement would have made even the surest of men do a double take.

Jayd raised one skinny yet muscular arm to the sky. His thoughts a whirling tempest as he hit the alt and esc keys at the same time. He sighed inhaling deeply. 'I guess it's time for breakfast.' Jayd thought to no one in particular. He got up and opened the door stepping into the hall.

In the small house around him the sounds of life had begun to stir. The white of the hallway walls was marred only by four doorways which may have led to the twisting nether for all Jayd was concerned. He would never open them, nor would he be tempted to. Jayd was always overly cautious of interfering with the lives around him. Well at least in the living world, video games on the other hand he spared no such mercy.

He skipped quickly through the hall and arrived in a small kitchen. On the stove sat an offering of meat, eggs, cactus, and several unfamiliar vegetables. Jayd divided himself a small portion and retreated back to the hallway. A toilet flushed and he knew he would be confronted by another occupant of the small home should he dally any further.

Safely in the room he now called home, Jayd devoured his food with impunity. Not the best breakfast, but it was vastly superior to inadvertently starving himself which Jayd had been known to do. Jayd stared at his dusty monitor. An angry scowl replaced his features as he hovered the mouse over the connection icon on his desktop.

'No Internet access' It saw fit to display. It mocked him with it's inconsistent capitalization and it's promises of boredom.

"Fine!" He muttered once again merely above a whisper. Jayd would find something else to keep himself occupied. After all he had existed for plenty of time before he had learned what a computer and internet were. Surely he could exist again without such devices! Sadly he was struck by cruel irony as he turned to his phone.

It too mocked him with a lack of a connection, but this lack of connection was to be expected. His phone bill had been sorely ignored for the past three months. Though Jayd had sworn to himself that he would find work and get all his bills paid and find his own place to live he was lacking in the results department. Not that he hadn't been trying.

"It's a last ditch effort but it will have to do." Jayd muttered to himself as he filled out an application to work at Target. He was dressed in the second nicest clothes he had, which consisted of a pair of light brown khakis and a plain light blue button up T-shirt. His black dress shoes were perhaps a bit too shiny.  "Infernal rampant consumerism." Jayd muttered again as he filled out each question to the best of his ability.  A short robust woman dressed in the target uniform looked over the counter at him.

"You don't go to school or anything do you?" She asked.

Jayd quickly responded, "Yes I go to school three nights a week. Why do you ask?" The way she had asked the question and her expression told him he had answered incorrectly.

"Oh, well they just have a policy here not to hire new people who don't have total availability." Jayd managed to suppress a cry of despair. The woman seemed to have noticed this and quickly said, "That doesn't mean don't apply, we just might be able to find something for you."

Jayd quickly turned back to the application. His moral having taken a serious blow.

Jayd's fingers flew across the smart phone screen and tapped on a small green app, labeled 'Snake.' A smile blessed his face and showed off slightly crooked front teeth as he maneuvered his nimble companion. He would have kept at it until it would be forced to try to eat itself in a vain attempt to escape the confines of the screen! But woe it was rescued from a grisly pixel death by the phones battery announcing that it no longer wanted to live in this world and promptly dying.

Once again rage un-measurable and irrefutable took over Jayd's features. Once again a great sigh escaped his lungs. Once again he found himself bored beyond all reason and doubt. Jayd muttered several colorful words into his clenched jaw and grabbed his blanket. He dove under the covers and slipped onto the couch.

Perhaps he had been awake too long. When had he awoken yesterday? Jayd thoughts manifested throughout his mind. He was almost sure it had been before ten o-clock. The news was always on at ten and he had watched the news. Although it seemed to be just a repeat of the news from the day before.

Uncertainty gripped Jayd's soul as his eyelids fought for their right to be open. He sighed heavily a few more times before being whisked into the sweet nothingness of his dreams.

Jayd lay still quietly he had become aware that he was in fact awake. However something was most definitely wrong. Although the birds did bless his ears with their joyous proclamations. Jayd heard not the steady hum of his beloved computer nor the sound of his roommates infuriating television. The latter of the two fed his compounded dread that something terrible had happened.

He sat up quickly, as he was apt to do. This was not his home. He was in a quaint little room, hard wood replaced the cold tile and a lovely blue wallpaper lined with little blue ducks had replaced the various exotic performers that once graced the walls. A purple framed window, a small wooden dresser, and an oak bed frame to match were the only objects to break the pattern.

He sat buried beneath a shockingly clean and exceedingly warm red blanket. his whole body felt as though it was surrounded by the softest, silkiest fabric Jayd had ever felt.

"Hello?" Jayd announced his presence to the world in a flimsy excuse for a whisper. Blinding sunshine gleamed through through the ridiculously purple curtains. Jayd swallowed and began to climb out of bed. Only to fall flat onto his unusually long face.

"Gah!" Jayd exclaimed attempting to right himself with a quick hand. Only, no hand had seen fit to answer his minds call, instead a strange fury pink appendage and hoof decided to grace the floor with it's presence. "GAH!?!" Jayd cried once again staring at it in blank horror.

His breathing intensified. Jayds thoughts were cast aside as he suddenly noticed a body mirror set up for him to perfectly see a pony where Jayd himself should have been.

This pony had slightly shaggy pink fur covering itself, incredibly terrified looking bluish green eyes, and a small mop of cherry red hair.

"GAAH!!!!!" Jayd was clearly at a loss for words. His thoughts raced before him each like a train running it's own individual track for the briefest of moments before each derailed into a massive fireball of death and torment! The sound of hyperventilation filled the air as Jayd struggled to form words or meaning or anything really with that thing in his head that was once called a brain.

"O-OKAY!!" Jayd uttered allowed. The sound of his own voice comforting him very little as his eyes processed the pony in the mirror matching his words with it's mouth.

"Clearly that wasn't cactus in my breakfast this morning. Yeah that's it. I'm just really high from...." Jayd began to wave his arms, are they even arms anymore? Forelegs? Yeah that's what we'll call them. Well anyways, Jayd began to wave them in the air before him as though he was hoping the action might pull forth words which did not exist from the twisting nether.

"Something!" Jayd cried out victoriously. "I'm just really high from something!" A thin smile flashed across his features as he looked at the pony in the mirror.

He swallowed slowly as he stared at what he was beginning to accept was his mind tricking him into thinking he looked like a silly pink pony. Inside his mind ambulances and emergency vehicles began to show up and rescue the poor victims of the train wrecks. Cranes arrived and began to right the cars which could be righted and load up and haul off those that were beyond repair.

"Ok, hopefully I havn't broken anything during my little freak out." Jayd began talking to himself. An old habit he'd developed in his early life. His former wife tried and failed to get him to stop doing such things but alas old habits die oh so very difficultly.

Jayd stood in the clothing department of a store which could only be described as Wal-Mart but without the Wal-Mart over the big doors. He muttered angrily under his breath. He wore a camoflaged military uniform that looked as though it had survived a typhoon. "Infernal consumerism. Why are things this away?" To which another voice responded, "People need to buy things. It creates jobs and gives people opportunity to live better lives." Jayd answered the second voice angrily, "Fine, you win! Really I just want to go home, it's been a long day and I'm tired, I want a shower, and I haven't eaten anything."

A short Asian woman came out from behind a clothes display. She was dressed in a short skirt and a slightly revealing tube top. She too looked angry beyond all reason and doubt, "Why you talk alone!? You want people think you crazy?" She proceeded to hit Jayd upside the head. Jayd sighed and closed his mouth limiting his angry conversations to a soft reverberation in his throat.

Jayd inspected his hoof carefully placing it down before glancing back over his flank he suddenly notice a long collecting of cherry red hair extruding from his posterior.  "Remind me to ask Rod to tell me what this stuff is, and then make sure I never try it ever again"

He'd been alot of things in his life, but hallucinatory drugs were generally things Jayd avoided like the plague. He was already crazy enough without adding more  chemicals to the mix.

Jayd lifted his rear off the ground and propped himself up using the nearby bedpost. He attempted to stand using only his two rear legs. Unfortunately he soon discovered that even though he knew he was not a pony, gravity did not agree and he smashed head first into the ground again. Jayd's mind quickly told him to find someone else, and maybe call an ambulance.

"Dudeman?!" Jayd's voice was ever so slightly above a whisper now. He called out for his room-mate. He rolled slightly onto his back. "Dudeman Rod!?" Alas he attained no response.

The emergency vehicles and cranes in his thought factory spontaneously com-busted as Jayd once again lost it. He rolled in anguish across the floor to a nearby door.

"Dudeman! Send help! I'm seeing crazy! Someone!? Anyone!?" Jayd allowed his voice to rise in volume. He was no longer concerned about disturbing the other occupants of the house as he felt the last vestiges of his sanity flee the scene of the crime. He slowly pushed his front hooves off the ground and reached for the doorknob.

His hooves simply knocked across the door and bounced off the knob as he desperately tried to grasp it. "Why couldn't I have hallucinated myself into a creature with THUMBS!?!"

Jayd felt hot tears of frustration had begun to fall down his cheeks. This was entirely too stressful to take this early in the morning. Was it even morning?

A cool breeze rolled in through the window, drawing Jayds attention to the blinding sunshine glaring through. He could see from his spot on the floor the tops of trees, colorful birds fluttering too and fro, and small red and yellow flowers grew from the windowsill.

He inhaled deeply in yet another attempt to calm himself Jayd slid across the floor. His furry belly glided easily along the wood. Jayd slowly pulled himself up to look outside.

And immediately wished he hadn't. What should have been a quiet yard with a run-down looking set of weights and an old shed along with a pack of incredibly vicious chihuahuas was nothing of the sort.

Jayd realized he was on the second story of whatever building he was in and dozens of pastel colored ponies were visible as they ran about. Each accomplished various tasks for the early morning. Jayd looked upon them as they pulled wagons and flew about on WINGS! Even still, several had horns a few of which glowed vibrantly as they manipulated objects around them in impossible ways.

Jayd heard voices close to him from below. He leaned further out and saw a grey, winged pony, blond hair upon her head and bubbles sat emblazoned upon her rear. She stared up at him, or maybe at something next to him? It didn't matter. A large bag full of what looked like letters and postcards shifted as the mare leaned back to get a better look up at Jayd.

She had a look of concern upon her face as she spoke out in a squeeky and mildly ditzy voice. "Hey! Are you alright up there? I heard somepony calling for help!" Her one golden colored eye which lay firmly upon Jayd seemed to dig deeply into his soul. Jayd opened his mouth but words did not come forth.

Yet another fit of hyperventilation gripped him as he sat listening to her voice. She slowly lifted off the ground and hovered in the air merely feet from him as his mind broke yet again. Talking colorful ponies with tramp stamps. 'Why, WHY?! HWY!!?!? highway?... what?' Jayds mind couldn't process any further it had stopped on highway and could venture not another foot.

Surprisingly strong hooves attempted to shake him from his mental prison. The insane vibrations only served to further drive Jayd into torment.

"Umm, are you ok?" Jayd merely fell backwards collapsing onto the floor. The grey mares look of concern turned swiftly towards panic. The stallion before her was clearly having a medical emergency. Her good eye darted to the street where a white mare with really light pink hair tied up in a bun and a red cross for a cutie mark happened  to be strolling by.

"Nurse Redheart!" The grey mare cried as she plummeted to the ground with a resounding crash. The impact sent said nurse flying across the road where she unceremoniously rolled two or three times before coming to a stop.

"What is it Derpy?" Redheart asked, irritation obvious in her voice as she sat up and hoofed her disheveled main back into position. Her bun now had several hairs sticking out wildly and a fresh dusting of dirt layered her backside. She glanced around and found her nurse cap quickly placing it back upon her head.

Depry looked at her with her eyes wide one stared intensely the other watched some flowers to the left and cried out, "There'sastallionuptherewhoneedshelp!"

She pointed dramatically to the window Jayd had previously been sticking his head out of, her words flying out at a cyclic rate.

"HewasalltwitchyandbreathyandfaintyandhefelloverwhenItriedtoshakehim! Helpmehelphim!" As Derpy talked she grabbed Redheart and pulled her up shaking wildly in the process.

The grey mare was obnoxiously strong, although somewhat clumsy.

Redheart kicked into action mode right away, or that is to say fought out of Derpy's death grip and gasped for breath. "*cough* hack * GASP!* OK!" Redheart inhaled as though she had been deprived of oxygen for the last ten thousand years. Her poor ribs cracked audibly as her chest expanded. "Calm down a second, lets go see to this pony."

Meanwhile Jayd had been sitting on the ground slowly regaining lucidity. He listened intently to a loud sound almost like an explosion along with several loud  utterances of what couldn't possibly be any language he had ever heard before. He eyed the room warily and watched as the spinning beds rotated back into a single bed.

Jayd cursed his misfortune in his head as he crawled for the door again. Eager to escape whatever fresh hell he had wrought upon himself with his curiosity.

"Curiothithy doeth indeed kill the cath." Jayd muttered quietly as he realized he had bitten his toungue and it was now swollen to the point of speech impediment. The terror on his face soon became replaced with despair as he was faced again with an impossible doorknob.

"WHY CRUEL FATHE!!!! Jayd cried quietly out to the sky in anguish. Jayds mind quickly began breaking again as he attempted to open the door with his clumsy hooves.

This world seemed far too real, if the pain of his bruising body and the taste of copper on his tongue was any indication. "Thime for plan B!" Jayd cried as he turned and kicked out with his hind legs. He allowed all the rage and anger he had in his little pony body to fly into that kick. Jayd felt the jarring impact as his hooves slammed into the door with the strength of ten thousand suns!

Or well, in the eyes of a more stable pony, they would've seen a very dizzy, very pink pony turn and fall on it's face, then raise both back legs up in a feeble effort and lightly tap the door.

Jayd turned his head as it laid on the floor and noted the still standing door. "Thith prithon wath dethigned to hold GODTH!! No one man could ethcape thuch a dungeon!" Jayd's bloodshot eyes continued to weep tears of rage and despair as his flank fell to the ground and he sat up wailing upon the door with his front hooves in a vain attempt  to defeat his new arch enemy.

Nurse Redheart and dear Derpy were both stood in front of the door. Redheart knocked and Derpy danced nervously on her hooves waiting for the door to be answered. A faint whisper of anguish could be heard from above as well as a very distinct light tapping.

"Are you sure this stallion needs help?" Redheart began, "He may have just needed a moment to recover after..." She would have said, 'meeting you.' but stopped herself just in time. Nurse Redheart stared at Derpy as she mimed her desperate need to get inside and help. Derpy stared at Redheart with her good eye.

"Yes!Pleaseletsjustkickthedoordown!Thisponyneedsourhelp!Weneedtohelphim!" Derpy jumped forward and soon a fresh pegasus shaped hole marred an otherwise fully functional door. Mail and letters filled the air inside the well lit house falling like confetti. A dominated couch sat crumbling sadly in the scene before her as Redheart stuck her head into the hole.

"Um, I don't think the door was locked." Redheart said as she pushed the remains inward and the door swung open upon its hinges.

Derpy was already gone though, up the stairs in a flash. Redheart sighed to herself as she trotted forward jumping over a destroyed throw pillow and cautiously walking up the stairs.

The house seemed to have only very basic necessities. A single chair next to a little dining table in the small kitchen, unadorned blue walls with little blue duckies lining the edges. Several hoof-prints were also present on the wallpaper.

When the good nurse arrived on the second floor the sight before her made her gasp as she quickly jumped forward. Derpy was sitting inside of a pleasant looking bedroom cradling the head of a very unconscious pink stallion. The door was completely obliterated and bits of wood were scatted throughout the room.

Nurse Redheart checked the stallions vitals and determined he was in fact okay. Nodding to Derpy she said, "Alright I guess we can take him to the hospital. I think he may have a concussion." Nurse redheart looked at Derpy pointedly.

The birds outside sang a fresh tune to the chaotic mess before her.

"I just don't know what went wrong..." Derpy moaned aloud flapping her wings as she floated slowly to the door holding the unconscious stallion in her hooves tears running down her cheeks.