Incubus

Most people might've moved on by then. But Lilith sat atop her stool in that same manner, staring up and smoking cancer, forgetting how it felt to be safe. She recalled the times that week when Fluttershy stopped by or crossed paths with her, only to trot away or spend time with their friends. Fluttershy must've heard how her and Rainbow 'made up.' But that wasn't true. In fact, the two did far from make up. Each day spent away was devoted to arguing with the pegasus to change her approach to life in general. To not run. To not flee. To not collapse or blame when it truly mattered. It wasn't a resurrected relationship, that much she knew. Bits and pieces of her bond with Fluttershy embedded in her addled brain like shrapnel. Lilith bunched her own mane and clutched, sure her mind would heal if it was ripped out. If she could just tear it out and be an empty vessel, she'd at least stop hurting. It'd stop hurting so much.

The incubus stood from her seat, ignoring the wobbliness in her injured knees. The stiff and harsh motion of her calves, ankles and outer thigh muscles made her grit her teeth. Her eyes widened as her legs buckled and her face ate the grass.

"For... fuck's sake... Is this all you've got?" Lilith cursed, pushing up with her elbows, only to muffle a scream of pain with her teeth.

The wounds of exerting herself too often struck. Glass and needles stabbed her pectorals, forcing her to grit one more time and stand on one knee. Gloves. She needed her gloves. Twas all she had to save herself from the madness. If she had her gloves, Lilith wouldn't feel weak anymore. All the dead and ripped musculature in her biceps, triceps, deltoids and core tightened in pushing herself up. The incubus, bleeding from her mouth, coughed into her palm and tossed her gelatinous sanguine out of sight.

Twilight crept out of the corner of Fluttershy's Cottage, slinking over and whispering in greeting.

"Lilith...? It's been three weeks. You haven't rested enough. Please. Calm down..."

"I... I can't. I can't fucking take it. I need to work off this fucking quiet. Yeah, I ran myself into the ground training. It's stupid, I know. I'm bleeding it hurts me so much. But who cares. I'm dying anyway without someone here. Why not die doing something I love?"

Twilight Sparkle kept her eyes low and took a step back.

"It's not worth it. You can't just break everytime you don't work out in a relationship. You have to be strong so that one, great girl can make up for all the shit that's happened... You need to stop hurting yourself."

Lilith tried to reply, but all she mustered was a grunt. She clutched her left side and ground her teeth together. Before she knew it, stabbing agony twisted her face. It was in her heart. She fell to the ground and knelt there, deaf to the noise of Twilight calling for an ambulance. How could she fight when there was no enemy. It wasn't in the ring. Or on the street.

How could she fight an enemy she couldn't hurt. Her heart was winning. Her legs were winning. Her arms were beating her down and telling her to stay down. Lilith was short of breath; she fought an endless battle, forcing her lungs to crawl for air, rather than gasp. When her cardiac arrest turned into heart palpatations, the incubus finally recognized the surrounding area.

Bright, beige and sterile walls greeted her long-awaited arrival. The sound of beeping and blooping gradually materialized out of the blurred background, too. Before long, she noticed her hospital gown and closed both eyes, pursing her lips without a sound. Nurse Redheart gingerly trotted in.

"... Says here you have what humans call 'boxers fracture', to add to the long list of injuries you have. Boxer's wrist. Torn trapeziums. Sprained ankle. Inflamed calves and arrhythmic flutters. Great, I know. Because that's just half of what's wrong with you. So... let me get this straight. You were suffering from a fragile body and calcium deficiency, but you did 'boxing' to negate the emotional pain?" The mare asked in rising disbelief.

"Y-yes ma'am... Been my dream since I was smaller. I just never got the chance to do much. I learned a few things before I got here, but that wasn't for sport. I know it seems dumb and reckless, heh, but- but I'm not good with breakups. Or neglect. I have issues. I'd rather die working out than crying into my pillow."

It took a moment for the nurse to break her surprise-frozen features. When she came to, she shared a small chuckle with the bedridden idiot.

"You'll probably die early if you keep this up you know. Not that I'd know what a human can take before collapsing for good. But. Take it easy. Your body can't take too much strain with your heart condition." Hushed Redheart, smiling softly in admiration.

Her patient took to a wide, easy grin and pointed her thumb at herself.

"Y-yeah... I know. I just like being stubborn."

Her performance was convincing enough for the nurse. Great. Amazing. How was that, she asked herself, grinning not in pride, but pain. Because she wasn't okay. Hn. Far from it. Lilith was breaking.