The Clopspiracy

Twilight Sparkle felt the stallion's cold hooves on her neck and she shivered. The slight pang from his frigid hooves was already starting to arouse her. Within a few more tender moments, she would be ready for the enjoyable act of love making. But it didn't mean those moments leading up to that act had to be boring. She plunged her tongue into the colt's saliva filled abyss, and started to explore.

It had been a while since she had a dream like that. A dream full of pleasure and desire. Or was it really just a memory? A memory of a simpler time in the studious mare's life?

"Hey Twilight, Pinkie Pie is at the door." Spike said.

Once again, Twilight was pulled away from her private thoughts, and her bed. For the past week Pinkie Pie had been reporting on the new town building at Twilight's request. Spike knew nothing of this espionage, and the pink pony's visits seemed normal to him. He saw nothing more then friendly conversation about the latest town occurrences.

"Open the door for her please." Twilight said.

Spike turned the door handle, and greeted Pinkie Pie with a smile.

"Hiya Spike! Is Twilight home?" she asked.

"Yup, she's just upstairs." In Spike's mind, Pinkie Pie's resemblance to a traveling salespony was impeccable.

"Okie dokie lokey, I'm coming Twilight don't you worry!" She pushed Spike aside and ran inside Twilight's room, being sure to shut the door on the way in.

"Good morning to you too." Twilight said with a puzzled look on her face. Usually Pinkie Pie didn’t barge in like that. Must be big news she thought.

"Silly me. Good morning to you too. Now Twilight we got a situation on our hooves. The Hot Sauce Jar is fully operational!" Pinkie Pie's face bore a grim look.

"Hot Sauce Jar? Is this that building I told you to monitor?" Twilight asked.

"Yeah! That's what the owner calls it anyway. Sirachi was her name I think. She's new here too. Just like the store."

"Just a store? I suppose Princess Celestia had nothing to worry about after all. Worst case scenario is that the store owner is really a changeling." Twilight breathed a sigh of relief. "Might as well send a letter to her now saying crisis averted," she added.

"Hold your hooves Twi. I didn't tell you the contents of the store now did I?" Pinkie Pie said snarkily.

"Well what does she sell then?"

"Personal items."

"Like?" she said, imploring the pink mare to tell her more.

"You know. Personal things? Very personal things?" Pinkie Pie gestured to her crotch.

"For hoof's sake... Did you go inside?"

"Yep, it was filled with hundreds of toys!" Her eyes lit up, and Twilight could tell her friend was very interested in the store and its wares. "Some were big and long, some were small and thin, and-" Twilight cut her off as fast as she could.

"If you don't lower your voice Spike is going to hear us!" Twilight whispered. "I'll send a letter to Princess Celestia and we'll see what she says about all of this."

"Whoops, I almost forgot about him. I'll see you later then," she said blissfully.

A sex store in Equestria, what would Princess Celestia think of all of this? She thought, as she levitated a blank parchment out of her bedside bookshelf. She dropped the paper down onto her sheets, and pulled out a quill from the same spot. Twilight brought the tip of the former feather to her lips, and licked it.

Dear Princess Celestia,

Great news! There is nothing harmful about that new building. It's actually a store from what Pinkie Pie told me. The nature of the store is a bit odd however. It's a "personal needs” store in case you haven't already found out by now. If there is anything left for me to do regarding this then let me know.

Your faithful student,

Twilight Sparkle

With a crack, the letter vanished into a cloud of purple dust.

"What was that?" Spike shouted from downstairs.

"Nothing Spiiike!" She yelled back.

I sure hope Princess Celestia doesn't reply through Spike. Explaining sex to a baby dragon is the last thing I want to do. She thought.

With another crack and a puff of golden smoke, another scroll materialized out of thin air.

"I'm just practicing some spells Spike don't worry." She said with a slightly nervous tone.

"Alright. Just keep it down a bit please? Some of us are still tired."

Twilight turned to her window, and indeed it was still very early. The Sun's rays were just barely peaking over Canterlot.

She levitated the freshly teleported parchment up to her face and started to read.

Dear Twilight Sparkle,

Thank you for fulfilling my wishes by keeping a close eye on that store. Now that we know its purpose, it is time to act. It has been quite some time since anypony has had the nerve to open up a shop of that nature. If I’m right, that store should be filled with ponies within a month. Be very careful about this store Twilight Sparkle. I’ve seen many ponies become corrupted by those sort of things. Do what you can to guide your friends, and yourself, on the right path. I put my faith in you from here on now.

Princess Celestia

Twilight was still in shock as she put the parchment back on her bed. The Princess was entrusting her to guide her friends on the right path. But what is the right path? Sex can’t be a bad thing right?

There is only one way to solve this...through observation and experimentation! She thought. I can’t screw this up. My friends, maybe all of Ponyville is on the line! I should talk with each of them about sex. What they know, want to know, all of it. It may be awkward, but it’s for the Princess!

With her horn aglow, Twilight started to comprise a checklist of her friends names; listed not in alphabetical order, but in order of importance. Pinkie Pie already knew about the store, so she would have to be spoken to first. Followed by Rarity, (whose nosiness occasionally surpasses her generosity), Rainbow Dash, (perhaps I can finally find out what way she swings), Fluttershy, (shouldn’t be too problematic talking to her, she’s probably too shy anyway) and finally Applejack (No problems there).

Time to get started I suppose. Twilight thought. She pulled her saddle bag from out below her bed, and placed the new list inside. With a purple glow the bag floated onto her back, and her bedroom door opened.

“Spike,” She said as she walked down the stairs. “I’m going to be going out on official Royal business. Do you think you can watch the place for a while?”

“No problem Twilight. Hey, is this about that new store in town?”

“Nope not at all. Don’t go there though. Ok?” She warned as she tried to mimick Fluttershy’s infamous stare.

“Alright alright. Just don’t stay out too long.” Spike was already embracing his new found authority.

Twilight smiled as she walked out.